retired blog

its a-me patrex

[iguanamouth]

[spicymemesociety]

[schizophrenicarchivist-remade-d]

me watching the met gala every fucking year

[webscene-remade]

answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation

[webscene-remade]

scam caller: hello, how are you today?

me: great!

scam caller: good. I’m calling because your IP address has been compromised. I’ll just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up.

me: okay! there is one thing I’m wondering, though

scam caller: what?

me: you really couldn’t think of a better lie?

scam caller:

me: like, my “IP address has been compromised.” How, exactly, does an IP address become “compromised”?

scam caller:

me: I was just wondering, is all

scam caller: why did you answer?

me:

me: what?

scam caller: if you knew this wasn’t a legitimate call, then why did you answer?

me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your expense.

scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to me.

me: well, you’re currently not accomplishing your goal

scam caller: my goal?

me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother. You’re not accomplishing that. I’d call that an expense.

scam caller: well, can I scam you?

me:

me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me?

scam caller: yes. can I scam you?

me, baffled: sure, you can try

scam caller: you need to get in front of your computer

me: yeah, that’s still a problem. I’m eating tater tots right now and I really don’t feel like getting up.

scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning, then.

me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely won’t.

scam caller: You answered today.

me: …touché?

scam caller: I will call you tomorrow. Have a good day.

[marioyuri-moved-to-transkaito]

Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K

[klauzoleum]

klaus after helping five at the prosthetics office:

Five:

[ray-marisha]

[rosehemery-deactivated20200809]

kate ‘‘i don’t know him” bishop

[dippy-ecks]

back on my loki nonsense

[wwwearps]

[birdloaf]

The new What We Do in the Shadows series is SO funny and cute.. the original is my favorite movie so i was worried that my heart would not have room for a new crew of idiot vampires but it absolutely did

[isabellaofparma]

[turcafinweart]

happy holidays ♥️

bonus:

http://turcafinweart.tumblr.com/post/169013399650/in-addition-to-that-pic-lol

[yayfeminism]

[tweet from Yung_Simba TM @yo_its_simba: “I’m not really into politics. Anyway, let me tell you how much I hate my job, my landlord, my shitty health insurance, my student loans, my town’s public transportation and the fact that I come home too tired to do anything after work each day.”]

[elonmuskisabitch]

shoutout to all tumblr users throughout the years for making this website monetarily worthless to the point where whatever corporation owns it ends up selling it 

[scarlet-strange]

“I have no powers and not nearly enough training, but I’m doing this anyways. Being a super hero is amazing. Everyone should try it..”

Kate Bishop - Hawkeye

Comic Edit #4

[authenticstains]

[ensenjou]

How are you feeling today?

Happy

Confident

Excited!

i feel hollow

The Void™.

a̸̧͕͔̹̘͍͓̺͎̅̾͞͡͠a̶̡̻̫͇̤̩͇͙̱͎͐̋̀͋̄͡á̠̥̮̣͓͇͕̥̩͈͆̄͊̌͞á͍͓̹͍͖̏͐͋̃͛͟͞͝ͅą̸̰̼̣̖̯̱̩͎͐̓̊̂͡ͅa̛̝̗̠͈͙̅͆͐̋̍̋̚à̢͇̻̞̼̮̣̀̽̓̔̀̈̏̀͡a̺͉͙̙͊̇̋̒̀͜͝͡ą͎̟̩͙̏̓͑͘͝a̛͉͕̪̳̗͚̋͐͐̃͞ḁ̜̭͙̼̫̻͙͕̿̔͌̈́͌̕͜a̵̛͙̜̫̭̬̜̖͉͎͗͌̅̋ą̸̯̟̣͇̗͖̮̤̠͆̀̓̔̅̑͞a̢̻͉̹̪̟͉͓̮̲̒͆̽̋̊̚͝a̶͕̙̭̦̯̪͋͛̍̾͒̇͘à̭͖̥͖̭̬̩̝̣̉̂̎͑̌͘͝͠͠ā̼͉͔̼͓̤̳͐̇̅̑̀͌͋̓ą̛̠̮̹̰̏̅̐͋̓͜ͅà̸͉̱̱͚͇͗̒͛͠a̻͔̦͔̥̭̿̊͊͒͊̅͟ā̷͉͕̩͇̻͖̅͂͊͒͜͞a̹̹̥̳̞̰̖̬̳̾̅̇̊̎͞ͅȁ͓̝̳͎̦͇̓̅̀̊͜ă̶͇͙̭̙̟̆̿̒̽̿͝ą̟̪̮̠̳̼͕͈̫͒̈́̿͋̊̕͞ą̷̛͕̥̙̟͋͂͌̈́͑͡ä̶̖̹̣͙͖́̌̋͌̃͢â̦͈̤̯̝̯̮̱͑͒̓̆̀̉͟͞͡͝a̶̘̻̦͓̟̹̫͇̋̆̽́̀͘̚̕͠ä̢̹̱̮͖̘̺͇́̃͗̏̀͞͞a̵͇̠̣̻̻̓̑̍̚̕͟͝a̡̡͇͕̣̭͔͔͙͋̏̄̀̑́͝͠ã̷̢̫͚͓̩̫͎̞͖̤̒̓͑͞á̸̧͙͔͙̠͒̇̔͑̈̓̈͝͠ͅâ̸̡̨̛͓̬̩̺̖̥̜͗͌̊́̿͞ͅa̵̘͉̬̭̿̽́͌͑̇́̄̎͢ͅà̡̭̞̞̖̮̻͍̣̇̾̿͞͞a̷̢̡̺̭̣̦̯͇̿̀̈́̒̎͗a̴̧̯̱͙͎͖͆͋̀͋̈a̢̭̜̦̰͆̂̒̆͟͝ͅa̵̡͖̫̲̻̙͓̘͗͒́̓̓̏́̀̒͠ͅą̢̢̛͈̱͍͇̭̯̈́̏̋̈́ā̶̡͕͔̣̠͇͇͒̋̏̐͊̏̕a̷̱̗̺̼̝͚͌̉̋͐͆͊̌̎͞͝à͕̦̮͍͈̹͔̲͗̽̈́͑͌̚͟͝

[gay-spaghetti]

I love these

How did you do in P.E. today?

Good!

T̳͚̫h҉̘̠̠e̴̼̩̹͈͙ d̳͙͓̥̹̻͎͝e̖̠͖m͖on̦̝̝s̯̝ ̪̣f̡̱͇̱è̱̣̩͉̞̥s҉̲̺̗͔̝t̤͉̬̫e͉̱̝r͕̼i̥n͍̕g̟ ̤̻w͕̣̬͔̖̻̟ịt͕̺̳̪̯̭h͍̙̲͍̥͡i̭̹̬͈͠n͉̙̟̖̱̜̰ ̝̖̯̜̮̠̕m͙̱̞͟y̕ ͎m̥̫̘͉in͖͓͎̟̕d͇͎̙̜̜ͅ ̞̯̜͎̹̰͓͠h̶̟a̝͟v͟e̮̪͢ ̮̻͙̮̥̰̦a̲̤̹̭w͎o̩͈̗̪k̙͙̗͚̬̫e̺̱̺͈͍̥͔͠ǹ̪̻͓̹̻̦̟ ̮̩͕̪

Bad

[90377]

The Grandeur of the Alps by Jerdess