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@queerquerys
To you, it’s just a gay Disney princess where there could have been another straight one, but to someone else, that princess is the validation they needed that they aren’t some abomination or sinful mistake.
We Need To Talk About LGBT Representation, Apparently | Aristaeus Sizer for HuffPost (via gaywrites)
In which Mike Pence and his wife take a trip to Aspen, Colorado, and their neighbors welcome them with a rainbow-colored “Make America Gay Again” flag. Yes. Good. (via Aspen Times)
I may not be recognized as non-binary in every situation, but gender is different everywhere, and which identities are accepted will vary from place to place and time to time. By creating spaces where we do recognize non-binary people, we can help them find their way into spaces that haven’t traditionally acknowledged them. And even if nobody else thought of me as non-binary, I still would be, because what matters is how I think of myself. We get to define our own gender, and our definitions are not up for debate.
4 Comments That Kept Me From Identifying As Non-Binary | Suzannah Weiss for The Establishment (via gaywrites)
LGBTQ activists say they hope lawmakers in other states will also ban the legal defense, which blames a victim's sexual orientation for an attacker's violent reaction.
Starting yesterday, Illinois has become the second state in the country to ban the “gay panic defense,” in which murderers can justify violence by citing their shock at learning a victim was LGBTQ.
The tactic is often used by those who hurt their gay or transgender partners or love interests, or by those who lash out violently against a person who expresses interest in them. According to the AP, “There are variations, but it generally goes like this: A person doesn’t realize someone is gay or transgender and engages in a flirtation, then discovers that person’s sexual orientation [or gender identity] and that discovery triggers a passionate involuntary response such as murder.”
Activists for LGBTQ rights often point to the 1998 case of Matthew Shepard, a 21-year-old college student who was beaten to death by two men, one of whom claimed the victim had made sexual advances toward him.
The activists say they hope the law, which was approved by Illinois lawmakers in May and signed by Gov. Bruce Rauner in August, will provide momentum toward passing similar measures in other states.
“This new law ensures LGBTQ people are not blamed for the violence perpetrated against them simply because of who they are,” Brian C. Johnson, CEO of Equality Illinois, said in a statement shortly after Rauner signed the law.
California is the only other state where this is illegal, and the American Bar Association called for it to be banned several years ago. Here’s hoping Illinois sparks a movement of similar laws around the country.
You are allowed to take care of yourself. You are allowed to take care of yourself. You are allowed to take care of yourself. Too often we get the message that as LGBT it’s our responsibility to always be “on” — to always advocate for the cause, or to behave “properly,” or to keep the peace. We’re told that it’s our job to endure demonizing sermons and degrading misgenderings in the name of “dialogue” or whatever. But we don’t have to. We can set and maintain boundaries that keep us safe, happy, and healthy. You don’t have to go to the Christmas service at your awful childhood anti-gay church. You don’t have to explain how you know you’re a woman on the drive to your aunt’s house. Communicating your boundaries to your family ahead of time might work well for you or you can decide on them yourself and enforce them if folks bump up against them.
8 Queer Tips to Get Through the Holidays | Queer Theology
(via gaywrites)
LGBTQ activists say they hope lawmakers in other states will also ban the legal defense, which blames a victim's sexual orientation for an attacker's violent reaction.
Starting yesterday, Illinois has become the second state in the country to ban the “gay panic defense,” in which murderers can justify violence by citing their shock at learning a victim was LGBTQ.
The tactic is often used by those who hurt their gay or transgender partners or love interests, or by those who lash out violently against a person who expresses interest in them. According to the AP, “There are variations, but it generally goes like this: A person doesn’t realize someone is gay or transgender and engages in a flirtation, then discovers that person’s sexual orientation [or gender identity] and that discovery triggers a passionate involuntary response such as murder.”
Activists for LGBTQ rights often point to the 1998 case of Matthew Shepard, a 21-year-old college student who was beaten to death by two men, one of whom claimed the victim had made sexual advances toward him.
The activists say they hope the law, which was approved by Illinois lawmakers in May and signed by Gov. Bruce Rauner in August, will provide momentum toward passing similar measures in other states.
“This new law ensures LGBTQ people are not blamed for the violence perpetrated against them simply because of who they are,” Brian C. Johnson, CEO of Equality Illinois, said in a statement shortly after Rauner signed the law.
California is the only other state where this is illegal, and the American Bar Association called for it to be banned several years ago. Here’s hoping Illinois sparks a movement of similar laws around the country.
Hello. I’m a lesbian and my significant other is nonbinary. I’ve never dated a nonbinary person before, how do I make them more comfortable/loved in the relationship? Please help!
Lee says:
Every non-binary person is different, so it’s best to ask them what they’re comfortable with themselves.
Just as a heads up, some non-binary people may be uncomfortable dating someone who is continuing to ID as a lesbian because it might make them feel like their partner sees them as a girl when they’re not, but it’s something you’d have to discuss with them.
Here are 5 things you might want to discuss:
Dysphoria! Ask that they share with you when they’re feeling dysphoric instead of bottling it up and keeping it to themselves, and then also ask what you could do that would help them if they experience dysphoria
How to support a trans person experiencing body dysphoria
Gendered terms! Ask what type of gendered language they’re comfortable with. Do they want to be called a significant other, a partner, a datemate, or a boyfriend or girlfriend? Do they want the relationship to be referred to as gay, straight, or queer? Do they want to be complemented with male-leaning terms like handsome, or female-leaning ones like beautiful?
Gender neutral terms to call a partner
Misgendering! Who are they out to? Are they in the closet at work, with their family, or at school? Do they want you to correct people who misgender them, or only in certain situations?
Telling your parents about your partner’s pronouns
Sexual situations! Do they want to have sex? What kind would make them the least dysphoric? Make sure they know that you won’t pressure them into it no matter what, and they can tell you if you’re feeling dysphoric. On some days they may not be comfortable with you touching their chest/genitals etc, but they may be alright with it on another day.
There’s sex-specific info here and here.
How to have sex with a trans person without being gross
Gender fluidity! Do they have the same identity all the time, or does it fluctuate? If it changes, how will they convey to you the change? Will they show it in their clothing, or with an accessory, or a text? Do they want different gendered terms at different times?
More helpful links:
How to date a trans person
How to be a good cis lover to your trans partner
Navigating transmisogyny in your relationship
Dating a nonbinary person
How to support your nonbinary partner
Dating someone who is nonbinary
We have more info on being an ally to a trans person in our Ally resources page if you aren’t familiar with the trans community
Don’t be an arsehole.
Hi... I'm male, gay and closeted. For many years, I've seen many others online coming out, being accepted by their families and getting to be with the ones they love. I want to have that too, very badly. But from where I live now, it's far too conservative. From the way people are born to the way they're buried, everything here follows this set of rules and if I were to go against it, I would become more of an outcast than I already am. I truly don't know if I could ever come out and be happy.
Hi! I know how much it sucks to see posts where people come out to their family and get accepted when you know that if you told your family they wouldn’t react in the... best way. I know how much it sucks to see people going to pride events and flaunting who they are for the world to see. I know that being in the closet sucks but I also know, that no one deserves to be there. You have to ask yourself if staying where you live is worth never being out of the closet. No one deserves to be restricted and tied down because of the people they’re around. Mod/Helper Harper
Im a polyamorus bisexual, and get kinda offended when i see those post saying "just because im bisexual doesnt mean i like a guy and girl at the same time" like its a bad thing if i do. Am i just being over sensitive?
Hey! I understand why you feel like that, there are all these positivity posts for a label you use for yourself and then you see a post like this and feel kind-of excluded. It is most definitely not a bad thing if you do like a guy and girl at the same time! I don’t think you’re being oversensitive at all! Try to keep your chin up. When you see a post like this you could leave your thoughts and possibly get into a conversation with the op of the post. Or you could make your own positivity posts, uplifting people that I’m sure have the same experiences as you. You could also try and follow people who label themselves similarly or post positivity for you. Hope I helped some!Mod/Helper Harper
Heyoooooo
Hi there! I’m Harper, I’m a new mod/helper! I’m panromantic, asexual, non binary/gender fluid, depressed, suicidal and dealing with anxiety. My pronouns are (mainly)they/them, (occasionally) she/her, (once or twice) he/him. I can’t wait to talk to and (hopefully!!) help you work through the issues you bring to me. Thank you for taking the time to read this and have a wonderful day!! P.s. My personal tumblr is @harper-the-harpy
Call for mods
hey you know how we’re not active at all? Sorry about that. When I started with this blog I was a sophomore in high school and now I’m a sophomore in college and I just don’t have the time and energy anymore that I used to. That being said, I know there are a lot of people out there who do have the time and energy and want to help out. If that’s you, please apply for a mod position.
Here is the link to the application. I’ll pick some new mods in a week or two.
-Mod Kit
[Image description - Images of the genderqueer and trans pride flags with the text: I CAN USE WHATEVER PRONOUNS I WANT. End description.]
Just uploaded a new blog post for 1$ patrons on my patreon. [Image description: green drawing of a dog wearing a matching hat and scarf next to a caption that says “It’s not too late to be the person you want to be and live the life you want to live.” in handwritten text.]
[Image description: Black text reading “Guest writers needed!” on a trans flag background]
Attention TTSG followers:
In order to provide resources to a broader range of people, we would like to include more personal, anecdotal experiences from people who can provide info on the following:
Binding with specific medical conditions that may affect the safety of binding
Using low dose estrogen to transition for AMAB/transfeminine individuals
Medical transition with an intersex condition
The process of medical transition in locations that are not America
Other unique trans-related experiences, specifically medical experiences. Contact us to see if your input could be helpful!
If there’s a specific topic you’d like to see written about, please reply to this post.
Please email submissions to [email protected] and include the following:
Your location (state/region and country)
Your URL so we can credit you, or a statement that you would like to be anonymous.
The name(s) of your doctor(s) if you are comfortable sharing
You diagnosis(es) if applicable
Submitting does not guarantee that your writing will be be posted, in case we have submissions similar to each other or to information we already have. Make sure you check your email, as we may ask you for permission to edit (usually for spelling/grammar) or ask you for additional information.
