Ruth was sort of right, I would learn: A relationship with a higher power is often best practiced alone. For me it was practiced in hour-and-a-half or two-hour increments, and paused when necessary. I donât think itâs overstating it to say that my religion of choice became VHS rentals, and that itâs messages came in Technicolor and musical montages and fades and jump cuts and silver screen legends and B-movie nobodies and villains to root for and good guys to hate. But Ruth was wrong, too. There was more than just one other world beyond ours; there were hundreds of them, and at 99 cents apiece I could rent them all.
The miseducation of Cameron Post, Emily M. Danforth (via ifihadtobreak)
âSometimes I just want to go in a room and break things and scream. Like, itâs so much pressure all the time and if you get upset or angry, people say, âAre you on the rag or something?â And itâs like I want to say, âNo. Iâm just pissed off right now. Canât I just be pissed off? How come thatâs not okay for me?â Like my dad will say, âI canât talk to you when youâre hysterical.â And Iâm totally not being hysterical! Iâm just mad. And heâs the one losing it. But then I feel embarrassed anyway. So I slap on that smile and pretend everythingâs okay even though itâs not.âÂ
get to know me //Â 3/5 favourite books: The Miseducation of Cameron Post
âEverything was heightened the way it always is when summer is slipping away to fall, and youâre younger than eighteen, and all you can do is suck your cherry Icee and let the chlorine sting your nose, all the way up into the pockets behind your eyes, and snap your towel at the pretty girl with the sunburn, and hope to do it all again come June.â
Look whoâs back from hiatus! Oh boy guys, school hit me harder than I thought it would. But now Iâm back and hopefully going to keep updating as usual. I know this blog is geared toward LGBTQ books/media, but if I happen to read a book that I think is good that doesnât fit under that umbrella, would you guys want a review of that?Â
Let me know please. I think replies are on this post?
Review: The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth
âI just liked girls because I couldn't help not to.â
Rating: 4/5 stars
Favourite character: Cameron (special mentions to Jane and Adam)
On a scale of one to gay: Sad gay
Trigger warnings: conversion therapy, LOTS of homophobia, self-harm
Would I read it again? Yeah, I actually think I would
The first time I read this book, I hated it. To be fair, I think I read it at a time in my life where this was the wrong book to read. I was questioning whether or not I was actually bi (spoiler: I wasnât) and in a bad space mental health-wise, so I think I internalized some of the more negative messages in the book. If youâre questioning, just donât read this book. It fucked me up a little bit.
That being said, I decided to read this book again both because someone requested it, but also because I think I was a little (a lot) harsh on it the first time. I liked it this time around. Is it still a hard read? Hell yeah. Is it worth it? I think so.
The book is set in 1989-1993 Miles City, Montana. It follows the story of Cameron Post, who kisses her friend Irene the day her parents die in a car crash, and so begins Cameronâs battle with guilt, shame, and her sexuality, starting with her thinking God killed her parents because of the kiss. Eventually, Cameron meets a girl named Coley Taylor, an all-American cowgirl with a perfect boyfriend, and the two begin a secret relationship. When theyâre discovered, Cameron is sent away to a conversion therapy facility known as Godâs Promise by her grandma and her Aunt Ruth, who has lived with her since her parentâs death.
One thing that struck me this time while reading the book was how sad it is and how much Cameron suffers (emotionally). Like I said earlier, itâs a hard read, but one thing I do like is seeing Cameronâs stubborn insistence that despite what she says, being gay is normal and unchangeable.
Unlike It Looks Like This, which also deals with conversion therapy, I feel like Cameron Post is happier. In It Looks Like This, it feels like Mike is hit with a billion tragedies at once, whereas Cameronâs sadness is more stretched out. That makes it worse for the characters to experience, but for the reader, it doesnât leave you saying âoh not again!â when something bad happens. Also, Cameron Post gave you a warning about what was going to happen to her both in the description of the book, but also within the text, because itâs split into parts for the 3 main tragedies that befall Cameron.
I think this is one of those books that is just easier the second time around. Itâs quite a long book (I think, I read an ebook and itâs page number is based on the size of my phone), but I sped through it this time, whereas the last time I read it, it took me forever. In addition, I think knowing how it ends makes it easier to get through some of the slower parts. In terms of the ending, I think itâs happy. It ends kind of on a cliffhanger, but it feels hopeful.
Iâm kind of all over the place in this review, but I think this is a book worth reading. I think it tells a necessary story, if a sad one. Also, considering itâs being made into a movie this year, I think it might make some people realize the horrors of conversion therapy. In the book, Cameron realizes that her kissing Irene is wrong because âIt was guys and girls who kissed - in our grade, on TV, in the movies, in the world; and that's how it worked: guys and girls.
Anything else was something weird.â. Â I think that quote demonstrates how important representation but also it shows why I think this book is good: it shows girls loving girls is ok, and it shows conversion therapy as bad. Some people donât quite get something until they see it laid out in front of them, and I think thatâs what Cameron Post does, and what the movie will do.
âI felt all the ways in which this world seemed so, so enormousâthe height of the trees, the hush and tick of the forest, the shift of the sunlight and shadowsâbut also so, so removed.â
the miseducation of cameron post - emily m danforth
love this idea!! recommendations: the miseducation of cameron post by emily m danforth, sister mischief by laura goode, parrotfish by ellen wittlinger, the devil's mixtape by mary borsellino
thanks pal! Iâve already read the miseducation of cameron post, but considering a movie is being made I think I need to revisit it! Iâll definitely but the others on my list!
also i just realized my askbox was turned off for some reason, so sorry if anyone wanted to ask a question wasnât able to!
Review: Georgia Peaches and Other Forbidden Fruit by Jaye Robin Brown
Rating: 3.5/5 stars
Favourite character: B.T.B
On a scale from one to gay: double gay with a side of gay
Trigger warnings: homophobia (solely verbal)
Would I read it again?: No
âWhen the people you love more than anything in the world reveal themselves and theyâre scared and nervous and fearful of loss of love, then somethingâs wrong. It ainât like theyâre telling us theyâre serial killers or child molesters. All theyâre telling us is they want to be free to love. To love. What the hellâs wrong with that?â
Iâm a sucker for rom-coms. Especially queer ones. So if you like happy rom-comy books, Georgia Peaches is definitely for you. However, part of the fact that it is very much a rom-com is what stopped me from giving it a higher rating. I love happy endings but it also seemed cheesy and a little predictable.Â
Dana felt underdeveloped. She mainly seemed to be there for comic relief and to act as a plot device to cause more drama. Thereâs nothing wrong with being a lesbian stereotype, but I just. Didnât like her. I feel like you could have removed her from the story entirely and the book would have largely been the same.Â
However, other than that, I liked pretty much everything else. The romance was sweet and I liked that it had a faith storyline that wasnât about someone questioning their faith. I personally am not religious, but I think there is a large lack of representation for lgbt+ people of faith, so this book will probably be relatable for those of you who are religious.Â
I also liked (well not liked, but related to?) Joannaâs feelings around going back into the closet. I started university this year, and I found myself lying by omission. I just didnât mention I was gay and let people assume I was straight because the idea of coming out and having a bad reaction was terrifying to me. I understood Joannaâs fear but also conflicted feelings because youâre not ashamed of your sexuality, but if youâre hiding it then why? However, unlike Joanna, I didnât have some stupid promise I made to my father hanging over my head.Â
I read this book in one day, but honestly I donât think it made me feel a ton. I started writing the review for Buffering the day before I finished the book, whereas I procrastinated this one until an hour before midnight on the day I said I was gonna post. I just, didnât feel a lot about it. It didnât stick with me. I think it was a good book and it definitely has value and could be very important to some people, but it just wasnât for me.
Trigger warnings: This book actually provides trigger warnings, so Iâll list them here: Schizophrenia, sexuality (lots of internalized homophobia), questions of faith, questions of fame, drug use (quote:Â âpsychedelic visions in the desertâ), self-harm, sex, spiders, suicide (a very small part), and neglect/abuse.
âIf youâre reading this and you think that maybe you could love someone of the same gender (or nongender), all I have to say to you is this: Congratulations! Youâre perfect and wonderful and more alive than you ever knew. Be proud of who you are because youâre already more than enough.â
When I was a closeted gay, a friend and I were watching YouTube videos when he asked me if I knew who Hannah Hart was and if I liked her. Truth be told, I had no clue and had only seen her in a collab. But I remembered her face and God, did I think she was cute. So I smiled and blushed and told him yes and we watched an episode of My Drunk Kitchen. I never really watched a video of hers after that. Not because I didnât like it but because I forgot to write her name down and so forgot to subscribe. Â
A few years later I saw the name again (because how can you be on the Internet without hearing about Hannah Hart?) and finally subscribed. Again, I didnât watch any videos other than the new ones in my sub box. Not because I didnât want to, but because why watch old videos when you can watch the new and make the most of your limited (read: poorly budgeted) time?Â
But after reading this book, Iâm going to start watching Hannahâs old videos.
***this review is spoiler-free!***
I expected the book to read like âthis is my life from birth to nowâ but instead itâs organized thematically, and I love it. Each sub-topic is presented with a story from Hannahâs life. Â BTW, if youâre able to get a hardcover version of this book please do because I donât know what the jacket is made of but it feels great. So smooth.Â
I loved this book. It was funny and charming and sad. Hannah took you through events and pieces of her life with sometimes brutal honesty, never being afraid to admit when she was wrong or that the people she loved and admired werenât always the people she wanted them to be. However, throughout the book, she is what we love about her so much: funny and recklessly optimistic and caring. There are small bits of advice dropped throughout the novel, and Iâll definitely be following some of it (I downloaded Headspace yesterday!).Â
Given that Hannah Hart is gay, a novel about her life obviously contains a chapter about her sexuality and her struggle to accept it, as well as a chapter on her gender presentation, but itâs not just a novel about lesbianing. The larger focus is on her life dealing with her motherâs mental illness and her own mental health. Buffering is the result of Hannah processing the events of her life, and as such, mental health is a huge part of this novel.Â
I would definitely read this book again. Iâm not normally one to read books again, but I feel like I could read Buffering and find new significance to something Hannah says or realize something different about myself. Buffering is Hannahâs look into her life, but it made me think about my own. Iâm lucky enough that I havenât had to experience anything as difficult as Hannahâs struggles, but as someone who had to go through her own struggles with sexuality, gender presentation, and mental illness, this book was definitely relatable. However, itâs almost impossible not to find something to relate to in this book, and even if you canât find Hannah relatable, this book is insanely enjoyable. I would have read it in an entire day if I hadnât decided sleep was more important (Hannah is a good advocate for self-care, so I took some of her advice and got some Zs).
Throughout the book, Hannah mentions that sheâd always dreamed of being an author, and Iâm so glad she published this book. Itâs beautiful. I look forward to seeing what else sheâs going to do next, and who knows, I may even purchase a copy of My Drunk Kitchen. But for now, Iâm gonna binge some of her youtube channel. I have no complaints about this book. Buy Buffering. Itâs amazing
âThis will always be harder for me, than for you, so get over yourselfâ
Before we get started on the review, I just want to say, I love the cover design for this book. The vague rainbow is what drew me to it at first, because Iâm desperate for queer representation and a book covered in rainbows is a surefire way to find it. However, as described in the first chapter, the cover is in fact where a sunrise meets the ocean, and honestly when you consider the events the cover represents, I love it even more.
***spoilers below***
It Looks Like This is both modern and not. To me, it felt stuck in the past, but occasionally breaking through into the present. I think this was mainly because of the extreme church influence and bigoted attitudes of Mikeâs surroundings. It feels modern when Mike is at school, or at his friend Ronaldâs house, where the attitude it more accepting and less focused on sticking to norms. The generation gap in this book is felt, and I think this really speaks to Mittlefehldtâs talent for creating atmosphere and mood. Each setting and situation has a distinct feel, and he does so through showing more than telling. The book is full of vivid imagery, making the reader feel as if they are seeing everything as it happens through Mikeâs eyes. This has the effect of adding emotion, such as Mike not knowing what will happen after his father finds out heâs gay, or increasing the tragedy of Seanâs death. We know very little about Sean, and it adds to the sadness because Mike and the audience will never get to learn more about him.
This is a coming out story, but itâs also a story about friendship, loss, family, and choosing to be yourself in a world that is not always accepting. The journey that Mike goes through in order to reach that self-acceptance is a hard one to read, because it is quite sad, but it ends happy. My favourite books are the ones that leave you with a warm feeling in your chest, and this book did that.
The reason this book didnât get five stars is admittedly because of the struggle Mike has to go through in order to reach self-acceptance. The reason it feels rewarding at the end is because youâre proud of Mikeâs capacity to forgive and move on and grow past the trauma, but I wish heâd never had to go through any of that. For me personally, itâs hard to read lgbt+ books that feature violence and death towards the characters, but this book does end happy, so donât worry. The scene where Mikes confronts his father is one that Iâve never seen in fiction before, and itâs one of my favourite scenes in the book. However, in a perfect world, that would have happened before Mike was put through hell and had been spared so much pain. In addition, I felt that Mikeâs mother could have been developed more. She had little personality up until the last few chapters of the book. Some of this development was plot motivated, and I understand why it happened, but I would have liked to hear more before she had to change.
The real hero of this book is Toby, Mikeâs little sister. She is stubborn and short-tempered and a fighter, but sheâs also an amazing support system. I love the relationship between her and Mike, and I think thatâs why I loved the ending so much, because it really focuses on the love between these two. Ronaldâs mom is also a delight, and reminds me of my mother.Â
I guess to conclude, It Looks Like This is a fantastically well-written novel with great characterization and imagery. However, it is not a very happy book. It ends happy, but getting there is hard. I look forward to reading more of Mr. Mittlefehldtâs work, but I hope he writes a story that doesnât require going through extreme pain in order to get to the happiness.
Iâm Emily, Iâm 18 and Iâm a lesbian. I love reading and starting a review blog has been something I want to do for a while now, and since one of my resolutions is to read 52 books, I figured I might as well start! The main idea is to review lgbt+ books (if the book has a character that is lgbt+, it counts) but if I watch a movie or tv show with lgbt+ characters I may review it as well.
So, thereâll be about one review each week, provided I stick to my goal. Except this week thereâll be two, because I recently finished It Looks Like This by Rafi Mittlefehldt, and I have a lot of feelings about it. Iâm currently reading Buffering by Hannah Hart, and a review for that will be posted by the end of this week!
If you have any recommendations feel free to send me a message. Also, if you make your own reviews, tag me in them so I can see what you think! Also if youâre a bookblr, reblog or like this post and Iâll follow you so I can find more recs!
If you want, you can also follow my main blog, @weneedtogirlthehellup or my studyblr @studieds
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