things i do when i'm depressed
in order to cope with the frustrating, suffocating feelings:
1. i take walks - there are three-ish trails that connect to each other in my neighborhood. i think that together theyâre about 10 miles long, ish. i walk them. because it feels good to move, and to take in all of the wonderful things around me. i mean, i live in arkansas. :l there are trees everywhere. and teeming wildlife. birds, squirrels, mice, bugs of all kinds, rabbits, foxes, snakes, fish, deer. i find all of those and more just by walking quietly through the woods.
2. i meditate - practice my breathing. sit on my zafu and concentrate on the chakras that feel locked. pick at them until i can loosen some of my feelings and walls and help them tumble down so that i can let go. if it only lasts for half a second, itâs worth it. peace comes easier and i can handle my emotions better if i turn inward and cleanse
3. reading - i read everything i can get my hands on. books. poetry on my nook. quotes on the internet. everything. until i fall asleep.
4. sleeping. yeah. pillows. rest. things i donât often get. all of that jazz.
5. sometimes i eat a piece of fruit and drink tea. itâs weird how comforting the acidic juice from an orange can be on oneâs lips. how the weird, thick texture of bananas can make you calm down in a few seconds. and the smells are just good. sweet, pungent. just good. very good. itâs like aromatherapy, for me. honestly. and tea. fucking tea is just the best always. yes.
6. sometimes i just cry. i spend a lot of my time forcing myself not to cry. so, sometimes crying is warranted. just let the floodgates burst, âcause honey there ainât no stoppinâ âem anyway.
7. i put on my favorite shoes. theyâre this really dingy, old, raggedy pair of chucks that iâve had since i was in 10th grade. i wore them every day that year. i went to a concert in them, just before the school year ended, and they got really fucking muddy. my momâs boyfriend at the time bleached them⊠:l they were black, so they turned brown. initially, i was super pissed. i didnât want them anymore. but then i sucked it up and wore them anyway, because brown shoes go well with jeans and bleach washed black tshirts and i just grew to love them even more because theyâre even more raggedy and they just feel worn in all of the right ways. the soles mould perfectly to my feet and theyâre the most comfortable shoes i own. plus, they feel like home.
8. i finger paint. itâs frustrating to try to âcreateâ something âworth whileâ when youâre depressed. so i stopped trying. i just let my emotions happen. i find a pallete, pour out some paint, and stick my fingers in it, and smush it on paper. there ends up being a theme or something, usually, after iâm not super ridiculously sad (unless I stay sad and just cry out the rest of my emotions), and tha'ts fine too. but i really enjoy the texture of dry acrylic paint on my skin. itâs cool, and crunchy and nice. plus, making my skin a canvas for painting instead of awful things is always a good alternative. besides, paint is really pretty, and comes in more than one color.
9. i find songs that make me smile, but arenât stupid peppy. songs that speak to me, but dontâ make me want to die or cry my eyes out. songs that are mellow and calm me down enough to just breathe. songs that i can sleep to. songs that keep me in the middle, rather than letting my emotions go up and down over and over. songs that keep me grounded. banjos. acoustic guitars. lullabies. soft, moderate tempo. good. yes.
10. I WATCH THE GOONIES. that is so self-explanatory. itâs like, the best movie ever. well, okay maybe itâs not self-explanatory for everyone. itâs my FAVORITE movie. it makes me smile. i know the whole script. it makes me smile. it makes me smile. IT MAKES ME SMILE. itâs like my safety blanket. i kind of have one of those too. i crawl into my bed and curl up in my favorite blanket and pjs and watch my favorite movie and cry if i need to cry or just hold it in if thatâs what i need. i get comfy and i stay comfy and i do my best to just make it.
gracieabrams
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amandla
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