darling, dearest, dead

I just want tomorrow to be better

[baku-chiku-blog]

[t-xl]

[sirensongfashion]

Alice Auaa Fall/Winter 2013 at Tokyo Fashion Week

[dancing-mountains]

[qpulm]

Carne (Gaspar Noé, 1991)

[quellezurprise]

jesus christ this automated filter is off

[kylos]

Madison Montgomery in the American Horror Story: Apocalypse finale

[mrs-brightsidex]

[quellezurprise]

i've been stress eating lately and i feel fat and awful. why am i being this gluttonous? why can't i have self control? i'm back on my self-hating bullshit and i'm crying in bed and i just can't stop.

[littlefireflybigforest-deactiva]

poetic suicide

aren’t you so poetic lying between silk sheets smoking cigarette after cigarette & scribbling nonsense onto pages that smell faintly of jack daniels 

aren’t you so eloquent when you haven’t slept in days & you talk in rhyme hour after hour after hour all the while i watch as your face becomes paler 

aren’t you so lyrical when you whisper my name & i wonder if you know that your eyes are empty now – your heart stopped beating a long time before you started to die 

& aren’t you so poetic as you write your life away (come back to me baby your poet girl needs you) 

3.5.08

[nitrogen]

[quellezurprise]

I just recently moved out and living alone has opened up some dark parts of my mind I thought was hidden away. I wouldn’t usually consider myself as a person who has an obsessive relationship with food, but being suddenly responsible of taking care of myself has made it so much easier not to eat. I have food, it’s just so hard to get out of bed and get up to make it. 

I keep looking at myself in the mirror, weighing the options on whether eating is worth it or not. It’s SUCH an unhealthy mind pattern, and I hate it. I don’t know if this is my anxiety or depression or something else, but it doesn’t feel right. 

I also have a room right next to the kitchen in the apartment I share with three roomates, and I can’t bring myself to make food/eat while anyone is there. This is not a concious choice, it’s just my mentally ill brain acting up. 

I didn’t believe I had a problem before I moved out, but now I am realizing it might really be. And that thought scares me. A lot.

[erwinsve-deactivated20171014]

[herdaintywrists]

I’m sorry you’re here, I’m sorry you had to read this, I’m sorry you’re doing this to yourself, I’m sorry that girl called you fat in year 6, or your dad told you you needed to lose weight when you were 10, I’m sorry you felt their stares like knifes in your back, or you cried in the toilets alone at lunch, I’m sorry you had to deal with that shit you haven’t told anyone about, or you’re still affected by the trauma no one else understands, I’m sorry you feel lonely, or empty inside, Im sorry you stay awake all night, or spend the day waiting for it to end, I’m sorry your life didn’t turn out as planned, or you feel it’s not worth living anymore. If there’s one thing my abuser did, it was make me say sorry for shit I didn’t do, I know I didn’t do any of these things to you, but I’m just so fucking sorry.

[heavensghost]

YOU FOUND ME

[quellezurprise]

I've noticed the stress affecting me a lot. I'm getting bad again. I talk less, I just want to isolate myself, and I can't work properly, even though it would help my situation. I just don't know what to do. I can't sleep and my head keeps buzzing. I can't connect with my own body.

[there-will-be-violence-deactiva]