In the first part about the women on the Whalers, we learned about life on board, especially the pastimes and the clothing. Here is the second part which mainly deals with family life on board.
When women were on board for a longer period of time, it was usually inevitable that pregnancies would occur. There were women who tried to be ashore and even at home when the time came. Others deliberately wanted to have their child at sea.
“Capt. Henry Green’s wife is going to have a baby and she has gone north with him to have it on board the ship, for she says she isn’t a bit afraid to trust herself to her husband’s care”. in: Joan Druett, Hen Frigates: Wives of Merchant Captains under Sail (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1998), 91
It often happened that the captain was called to help his own child into the world. Caring for a child on board was no easy task.
The Gomes family aboard a whaleship. Gomes was first mate — his family was visiting the ship before it set off.(x)
“It has been a very unpleasant day, blowing a gale all day and the ship rolling very badly. I can’t keep the baby in one place, and he gets a good many bumps.“ in: Joan Druett, Hen Frigates: Wives of Merchant Captains under Sail (New York: Simon & Schuster, 1998), 92
To prevent this, the children were often sewn into their cots. Since the baby clothes were very long anyway and resembled a modern sleeping bag, this was not necessarily a problem. The problem was more the diapers or napkins as they were called back then. These large cloths were made of flannel, just like the baby clothes, but washing on board was not always possible and the water was actually too precious to use for washing. And salt water was not something you wanted to do to a baby. Resourceful mothers used rags, soft paper or other soft materials to lay out the napkins.
Captain and Mrs. Harrison in their cabin aboard the British ship Eva Montgomery, at Puget Sound, WA, ca. 1904. (x)
Some parents left one or more of their children in the care of relatives when they left for a voyage, although hundreds of children grew up aboard their fathers’ ships. It is said that small children who learned to walk on board a ship had difficulty getting around on land once they reached port, and then had to crawl again to get around. In return, they also had incredibly robust health, though they were susceptible to common childhood illnesses that they did not experience at sea. Being a child on board a ship must have been quite fun. In a time when a child was probably not even fifty miles away from his birthplace, children could experience the incomparable adventures at sea. They also had a special kind and abundance of toys that the men on board must have loved to make for them. Because the children helped those who had left their loved ones at home, they were not quite so lonely and something like a family, even if it was not their own, made it easier to cope with this loneliness.
As far as learning on board was concerned, it was the woman who took care of it when she could. She often taught her children to read and write. The boys, on the other hand, learned the crafts of their fathers and the other men on board. The girls, on the other hand, learned sewing, embroidery and being a lady and finally also cooking, whereby it depended on whether the cook let them into his realm. A special highlight was when two or more ships met for gamming. Gamming was a time to exchange stories, learn news from home and enjoy the company of new faces. It was a time for best dress and special culinary delights. For children, the visit usually also meant sweets and presents.
Having seen very little of her husband during the first 9 years of their marriage, 29-year old Mary Lawrence sailed with her husband and 5-year daughter, Minnie, on the Addison in 1856. (x)
"Mr. Morgan brought back a little black dog for Willie. The mate of the Cambria gave her to Mr. Morgan. Willie is much pleased.” in: Stanton Garner, ed., The Captain’s Best Mate: The Journal of Mary Chapman Lawrence on the Whaler Addison, 1856-1860, 18
Some gifts were more exotic. “Captain Howland brought a small pet terrapin for Minnie… . He also gave Minnie a little basket of feather flowers.” in: Harold Williams, ed., One Whaling Family (Boston: Houghton Mifflin, 1964), 153
Another great meeting place for the Whalers was Honolulu. It was where families met, exchanged stories and waited for the ships to be overhauled and refitted. It was also common for women and children who had not gone with their husbands to meet them in Honolulu and travel separately. While in port, these seafaring families formed their own little New England community. Days were filled with rides on the beach, picnics and croquet. In the evenings there were dances, dinners and concerts.
The decision to join her husband brought many extremes for the whaler’s wife. There was the intimacy of being on board and the separation from home and family. There were long days of boredom and exciting visits to exotic places.
“This is one of the delightful moments of my life. I do not wonder that so many choose a sailor’s life. It is a life of hardship, but a life full of romance and interest” in: Stanton Garner, ed., The Captain’s Best Mate: The Journal of Mary Chapman Lawrence on the Whaler Addison, 1856-1860, 5
There were peaceful moonlight walks on deck and terrifying battles between monster whales and brave men in tiny boats. All in all, not an easy life.
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