Bees?

Hi, I'm Pip, and this is my blog. 4.21.94 / they/them / MPLS

[oplishin]

okay but chess terminology is like. you pinned your opponent's hung knight and now you can mate? oh im sure

[oplishin]

OH I'M SURE

[teaboot]

My mom likes to tell me about how when I was a little kid riding public transport with her I'd always smile and giggle and chat with weird old ladies who smelled like cat pee and homeless folks and strangers dressed in bizarre outfits but any time a tidy and respectable businessman in a suit and tie waved at me I'd immediately clam up, and she takes a great deal of pride in my supposed inherentability to clock personalities but the truth is I do vaguely remember those bus rides, and it was never about the clothes or the hair or the smell, but more because everyone "strange" asked interesting questions and listened to what I had to say and seemed to think about what I said while the neat and tidy and rigid folks only ever acted like they were going through the motions, which was boring as hell and also pretty annoying

[teaboot]

Well-to-do finance manager with tidy shoes: "Why hello, sweetheart. Can you say 'hi'? Aren't you cute. Are you on a trip with your mom?"

4 year old me: why must we do this

Fantastic old woman in the leopard print coat: "Why yes, my tooth IS real silver! Nobody ever asks me that. Do you like cats?"

4 year old me, suddenly paying attention: Finally, A Person Of Intellect

[programmerhumour]

Once upon a time…

[friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt]

[thebeanestbad]

[personification-of-anxiety]

I really wish the overused sentence “You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.” was less relevant but here we are

[triassictriserratops]

[no-one-offical]

‎

[furryprovocateur]

i started reading this book and kept tilting my head at the comparisons the author was using so i started a running list of them

[furryprovocateur]

this author's use of imagery is so questionable

[furryprovocateur]

i actually went "what the fuck" and had to stop for like 5 minutes after this one

[furryprovocateur]

[caffeinewitchcraft]

these sort of descriptions are better used in first person or third person limited, used to make your main character quirky and quick-witted

because if you use them in third person omniscient im going to assume the narrator is an actual character in your book who is 1) more interesting than your main characters and 2) a god who is going to step in eventually and change the genre to absurdism

[headspace-hotel]

The bobblehead one is SO good though

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

For a city to be walkable. It must also be sittable.

[notjusthespongenextdoor]

#every time I read this phrase the same thing happens#I read it as shittable and go wait that can't be right#oh right they were talking about public benches that makes more sense#but public bathrooms available without fees should also be a thing tho#cities should definitely be shittable#it happens EVERY SINGLE TIME

it must also be shittable

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

It's the last day of April

[my-little-bologna]

Wake up babe, new meta layer just dropped

[no-one-offical]

‎

[squirrel--boy]

Maybe I'm too young to understand, the hell is up with this post?

[teaboot]

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

it's really funny how the entire world basically just blew the fuck up six short years ago and nobody wants to admit that that may have had some lasting consequences lmao

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

like so much of Everything today is premised on the idea that the earth-shattering catastrophe which happened within living memory of everyone older than a third grader has had no meaningful material or psychological effects on the general public and i don't think that's good, lol.

"(some of) the top-line economic indicators (sorta) recovered (in most places) so everything is fine and we don't need to talk about it" is not a sustainable framework for interfacing with reality

[kidzbopdeathgrips]

"why is everyone so angry and paranoid now?" "why is politics so dysfunctional now?" "why is [x] [y] and [z] now? blah blah blah"

2020:

[alanaisalive]

The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.

Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.

So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.

Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.

[iguanamouth]

oh shit

[throughshadow-to-the-edgeofnight]

[alanaisalive]

As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.

[docd666]

Y'all know what to do Tumblr.

[metrotransitposter]

metro transit fact: you can look at picture of Neil banging out the tunes on your phone on metro transit buses

[c3rvida3]

Hey, no homo, but I am sitting on the broken swing set out back in the perfect, quiet, 2:00am blackness and picturing the softness of your voice and the darkness of your eyes with such perfect and terrible clarity that it feels like I'm choking on my own heartbeat.

[c3rvida3]

Now I'm eating croutons straight out of the bag.

[le-panda-chocovore]

Still no homo ?

[c3rvida3]

I'm gonna level with you, friend: I am eating these croutons gay style.

[zeitghost]

i dont normally repost instagram shit but the wording of this comment is killing me. like the armored carapace of a beetle. phenomenal

[freakonakaleesh]

*lights a cigar with a match and leans back in my plush leather chair, looking out through the blinds at the city. my fuckin city.*

[freakonakaleesh]

[depsidase]

[vampireroticdeletedbyeee-deacti]

Am I getting a good grade in tumblr mutual?

[scribe-cas]

Reblog to give the person you reblogged from a good grade in tumblr mutual

[josilverdragon]

"The horrors persist but so do libraries, books, iced coffee, sunsets, trees, the word 'fuck', the moon and the sea."

[xtinedancefit]

Accidentally clicking on an AI assistant feels like clicking on a link that’s going to give you a virus.

[xiaq]

The problem with being married to someone super fit is that you just can’t be physically coercive in the cute ways you want to. This morning, I was trying to convince B to sleep in and cuddle and instead of being deterred by the fact that I was entirely wrapped around his torso, he just…got out of bed with me clinging to him and went about his business picking clothes in the closet and putting on pants and doing his skincare in the bathroom with me just there along for the ride. And when he finally tickled me into letting go so he could finish getting dressed, I was so completely awake from laughing so hard that I didn’t get to sleep in either. An outrage.

[mumblebee19]

Outrageous.

[xiaq]

Unfortunately, this is an accurate depiction of the hindrance I presented (minor).