Questions No One Asks - Rock Star Edition

[questionsnooneasks]

The Legend of Steve Perry's Tiny Hiney

It seems back in the day that there were many gratuitous pictures taken of Mr. Perry’s “Tiny Hiney”.  Almost exclusively by male photographers I might add.  Is any explanation really even needed??

And it was not like Mr. Perry wasn’t aware of it either:  

Congrats to Steve Perry for fucking up everyone’s collective sexualities once again with some very distracting ass patting!

Thanks to RexterJettster on Tumblr.com for providing this footage

[questionsnooneasks]

[questionsnooneasks]

How To Determine If A Complicated Relationship Will Go The Distance

By first determining which partner does NOT have the capacity for sharing.........

......................................and which one does.

[questionsnooneasks]

How a Rock Star Keeps a Marriage Together for 35+ Years

By assuring his wife that her only competition is Steven Tyler.

[questionsnooneasks]

Those Were The Days, a Steven and Joe Story Part 5

Those Were The Days, a Steven and Joe Story

Author's Note: This last bit, while referencing stories from The Mouse House, trust me, this ain't for kids.

CHAPTER 3

Finally everyone was firmly ensconced on the bus  rolling toward the next venue. Steven and Joe were huddled up in their usual place near the middle of the coach that sits over the right middle tire.  Steven found it to be the quietest part of their luxurious tour bus.  He chose it so he could read or write if he wanted to. Invariably Joe would sit with him, even tho he had his own spot just across the aisle. Steven had even had a special curtain made to give him an extra measure of privacy.

Steven was retrieving his white scarf from around Joe's neck.  Steven kept an inventory of all of his clothes but especially his scarves which he made sure he had a match for every outfit he cared to put on. Joe had finally taken off his jacket and had the fur lining toward his front like a mini throw rug.  Steven had given Joe his promised bump - a special one he had made just for them.  Steven had told him about it but he would never give Joe the recipe.  Said he had his reasons.  Joe didn't really care frankly.  He only knew it made him feel really good.  It was one of the things, he thought privately, that Steven did to keep Joe with him, bind them together. Like Steven's damned scarves. He didn't want to think anymore about it right now.  At the moment, He was happily tumbling through space.

Steven was reclining on the window side of the seat.  He had his right leg stretched out with its foot on Joe's lap and his left foot in a portable hot wax bath.  His notoriously strange looking foot was giving him pain.  The bump he had done didn't really help with that.  But even Steven wasn't dumb enough to mix narcotics with his goodies.  It's why he called them Goodies.  They were his adult Candy. A party in a bottle he'd say.

Joe sprawled and reclining and Steven lounging with his foot in Joe's lap were their usual positions when they were travelling.

* * *

Brad, as usual had his guitar in his hands, was quietly practising riffs.  Tom, across the aisle from him, was shadowing him on his bass, while reading a book.  (Hi, Tom Hamilton, MultiTasker. Nice to meetcha)

"Good Job getting the Royal Couple on the bus.  Joey was stabbing his sticks into the floor when I got on.  I would have hated to see what would have happened if I had been 5 minutes longer."

"Thanks man.  Steven was fucking with Joe's head again. Practically catatonic when I walked in to get them."

"Did Steven shove him, you think?"

"Naw, Joe ain't havin it, you know that.  Not EVEN from Steven."

"What was it then?"

"Don't know but he had that same look on his face when he left Steven's room last night.  I had just gotten off the elevator and he was standing there with his back to his own room door, staring with that idiot look on his face.  I had to say goodnight to him twice before he heard me."

"Queenie is probably using him as a guinea pig again.  I know Steven has got something in that bag of his that must be pretty special.  He won't share the stuff with anybody except Joe.  As you know, when he's parachuting he will only jump with Joe, if you know what I mean.  Tried to get myself invited to the party once, although I only meant to party with Joe solo. When Steven saw us together, the tongue lashing The Dragon Lady gave me for thatt I am still smarting from.  Here's a free piece of advice for you:  Don't "EVER" tell Steven a secret about yourself.  Trust me, he will fashion it into a hammer and smack you in the face with it.  That motherfucker is brutal!!"

"My God, What did you tell him??" said Tom laughing.

Brad stopped playing long enough to give him the Italian salute and said "Up yours Blondie! Mind your own fuckin' business!"

Tom laughed harder, and then turned the page of his book.

*****

Joe was on the downward descent of his bump, and was about to make a splash down in the Pacific Ocean.  He was caught up in a very vivid dream: he was living his life as a marine biologist. He wasn't able to pursue this dream in real life as he had not gotten the kind of grades he needed to go to college.  But that was what he loved about dreaming: you could fuck reality all to hell and do what you want.  He was diving in the clean pristine waters of Maui.  There was treasure to be had around this small island near the main.  He was following the lines of a reef that may or may not be the wreckage he was looking for.  Suddenly he looked up and almost swam smack into the golden haired mermaid who was floating there, staring at him with a huge grin on her face.  Joe was stunned.  He had heard of mermaids but also knew they weren't actually real.  And even in the stories he had read, they never approached humans on purpose or with joy.  They usually wanted to kill you by smacking you with their tails or some shit.  But here was this grinning mermaid looking just delighted to see him.  She had a gold coin around her neck.  One that looked very much like it may be from the wreckage he was looking for.  

So as not to cause her alarm, Joe slowly reached his hand out (the hand he wasn't using to tread water) towards her coin.  She looked at him curiously but allowed it.  Joe examined it closely.  It was indeed a coin from the wreckage.  Joe looked at her, desperately wishing he could speak to her.  He did the only thing he knew how to do: he made the human gesture for talking and pointed between the two of them. It took her a few seconds to understand Joe's meaning.  She smiled at him again. Then she took her fishy webbed hands and put them on both of Joe's shoulders and then leaned in close and proceeded to lick Joe's left ear and then his right ear.  Joe was greatly surprised but he didn't swim away.  Then the mermaid did what Joe could only think of as Mermaid Magic.  She took Joe's face in both of her hands and gently bumped her forehead on Joe's.  Suddenly Joe could hear her thoughts because she spoke to him.

"Can you hear me, Human?"

"Yes.  I don't know how but I can."

"Do you have a name Human?

"Yes, it's Joe.  What's your name?"

"You couldn't pronounce it and I don't think there's any equivalent for it in your language."

"Well, what shall I call you?"

"Well, I heard some Human a long time ago say that my father was from a school of Callionymus splendidus. Such an ugly name.  Are they like plankton?? Can I eat them??"

"From what I know, they are not.  They are actually quite beautiful.  Like you."  The mermaid blew a mass of pink bubbles she was so flattered.

"How about I call you Callie."

"Oh I like that Joe.  You may call me Callie."

"Okay Callie.  Thanks for talking to me.  I want to tell you what I'm doing down here.  I'm interested in finding more of that coin around your neck."

"Oh this old thing.  It was very shiny when I first found it.  But that was a long time ago."

"Were there more when you first found it?? Do you think they are still there?"

"Oh sure there are.  But you won't be able to get to them.  They are where ordinary humans cannot go."

Joe was disappointed to hear this.  He didn't have money for special diving equipment that would allow for deeper waters.

Callie swam around Joe closely, touching him with her tail; nudging him forward and back, and at one point while she was behind him she wrapped her frilly webbed hands around Joe's shoulders.

"You are so good looking for a Human, Joe.  Nice and sturdy, lots of solid fleshy meat."

Joe looked at her with alarm and slowly swam back from her a little.

Callie squealed and blew orange bubbles.  "Oh Joe I'm only teasing you.  I have some shark cousins who swim here once in a while.  You are the kind they would love to get their teeth into.  But we Callie's don't eat human flesh no matter what you may have heard.  However, We are used to rough play, kind of like dolphins. And unfortunately too many uninformed humans want to associate with us but get hurt when we play with them.  Some even die.  That's when my cousins show up."

"Oh that's nice to hear...I guess."  Callie was swimming in tighter circles around Joe, spinning him slowly, doing her own fishy dance with him.  Joe was so distracted by Callie's stories and dance he wasn't paying attention to his oxygen levels.  He found he was getting light headed.

"Callie, I need to go up, like right now."

"Oh no Joe, stay and play with me. I'm really enjoying your company."

"I'm enjoying your company too Callie.  But I need oxygen to breathe.  You don't want me to die do you Callie?"

"No Joe.  I wouldn't like that at all. Oh, and you haven't gotten the Golden Treasure you came for.  Do you like me enough to stay a little longer, Joe?"

"Yes Callie I do. I may even love you. But I need oxygen my dear."  Callie smiled and blew red bubbles.

"No worries Joe.  I will see you get to the top.  Plus you came for your treasure and I want you to have that as my present before you go.  And I know the perfect way to make that happen, too."  Callie wrapped her frilly arms around Joe's neck and pressed her generous lips to Joe's, forced his mouth open with her long tongue and proceeded to blow into his lungs, filling him with her own special Mermaid magic air.  Joe went completely still and was sure that he had just died.   But to his amazement he suddenly was wide awake and had no need of oxygen from the air.  Unbelievably, he was breathing water and getting it from that.  He was stunned.  He looked at Callie who was staring at him with such love in her eyes.

"How do you feel Joe?"  

"Callie, I can't even describe it. What did you give me??"

"I'm not going to tell you Joe.  But know that its special magic just from me to you.  I don't give it to just anybody. In fact I have only given it to one other and he's dead.  But the thing that is special about it is that now you can't ever leave me no matter what you do."

"Does that mean I have to stay down here with you..forever?"

"Oh no Joe.  Only as long as you want to be here.  What I meant is that you will always be linked to me, emotionally and spiritually, forever."

"What do you get out of that?  It doesn't seem fair, ya know?"

"Joe, why do you think it's called a "SCHOOL" of fish?  We spend a lot of time thinking.  Good thoughts. And you, my dear, will keep me in lots of good, warm thoughts, for the rest of my life.  I just hope I don't fricasee myself."  Callie laughed blowing more orange bubbles.

She had swam so she was floating on her back, holding Joe over her..and strategically bumping him every so often.  She was now blowing pink and red bubbles.

Once Joe realized what she was doing, he got a little embarrased and started to arch away from her.  "Callie, come on.  We're in..public??"  Joe said looking around and saw nothing but an old grandma sea turtle..who was grinning at them both.

"Oh come now Joe.  Haven't you heard that joke your old timey Human used to tell about why he never drank water.  Who do you think he heard it from?"  Grandma Turtle stamped her foot and blew big orange bubbles too.

Joe had to laugh at that.  His bubbles were more rust colored than orange.

Callie said "But since you want to be such a tadpole about it, how about we go somewhere private and make some nice..big...deep..Purple bubbles.  You will be a changed human when I'm done.  Also, it happens to be right near where your treasure is.  What do you humans call this? A two-fer?" Callie was sensuously rubbing her frilly hand fin between Joe's legs.  She was so blatant about it even Grandma Turtle blew deep pink bubbles. "Besides I want to satisfy myself about something. I know you've heard that rumour about certain "parts" of blue whales??  Well, since whales can't swim as deep as I like to go..."

"Geez Callie let's go before I blow squid ink all over the place."

Callie put Joe on her back and swam like a Bonito to their spot, leaving Grandma on her back from a small stroke.

*****

Steven had finished his writings, closed his books and put them away. Now he was in the mood for some fun.  He wanted to play and who better with than his big live dolly.  His hunky handsome action figure. All day he had the feeling the Joe wanted to tell him something, but Joe couldn't work up the guts to say it.  Well, Steven thought, maybe I'm wrong, or it's not that important. Steven removed his foot off of Joe's lap and put it on the floor to balance himself while he wiped the wax from the other.  The limb was still ugly as sin but it was very soft.  It was the least he could do for her since she was never going to grow up to be a pretty girl, he mused.

Steven turned his head to a sound close by.  It was Joe, talking in his sleep.  Well not actually talking. Grunting and mumbling.  Steven thought, yeah that's more Joe's speed. Why make a sentence when half a syllable will do? Steven smiled fondly at him.  

Joe was only 3 years younger than himself.  But it seemed that when they had met it felt like a vast chasm in time.  By 21, Steven was already a seasoned performer; already had been on stage, in the recording studio, on the radio, on TV, hell he had even been to Woodstock.  Of course nothing he had ever done was as big as Aerosmith.  This band was a life saver for him or else he may have ended up a lounge act like his Daddy.  That's why he was so grateful to the other band members and especially to Joe for the opportunity they had given him to continue in the field he loved.  But when he met them, they were too young even to get into one of his shows.  He still remembers the first time he saw Joe: he was wearing a white apron and a hairnet. He was employed as a man-of-all-work at a burger joint in downtown Sunapee, New Hampshire.  He made the best french fries he had ever tasted in is life.  So good he had to tell him about it when he brought his old band a second order -- which he managed to eat some of before the food fight they were having got out of hand, that is. He remembers what struck him immediately about Joe were his eyes.  He supposed now in hindsight that his eyes only seemed to be these big soulful brown orbs because he was wearing these black framed student specs with tape in the middle.  But they sure were pretty he thought.  And he remembers the next time he saw him very well: Steven was driving through town in his Dad's car on some family business for their Country club, and there was Joe leaving the restaurant carrying a guitar case. He was wearing a denim vest with patches without a shirt and tight blue jeans. And the hairnet was off and there was that gorgeous black mane blowing in the wind.  Steven was staring so hard he almost wrecked the car.  My God, Beautiful and can play the guitar too. I need to see this guy again."  Steven did not consider himself gay exactly, but he certainly would not mind taking a few weeks with this guy exploring the possibility.  A little deep research, if you will.  Well, that had been 15 years ago and the research was still ongoing.  Not yet conclusive.  Of course he hadn't yet told Joe "there was a Riot goin on" as old Sly Stone used to sing.   Steven kinda figured Joe would figure it out eventually.

Joe was making sounds again.  Except this time these were distinctly different. More pleasurable than angry.  Steven's smile got a lot wider.  'Oh Joe, you naughty boy.  You going in to do battle are ya?  Did you bring your saber Baby?' Steven was good and ready for some nice soft games.  Whenever Joe was drunk enough, Steven loved to play Footsie with Joe.  Not the usual game of Footsie most people think of.  No, Steven was always one for the best of everything.  He had learned from a waitress at a favorite chinese restaurant he liked in Boston the Art of Reflexology, the art of massaging feet.  He learned from her (thru many repeated practical demonstrations in her apartment bedroom) that every part of your body is reflected in the feet.  Particularly every organ and errogenous zone.  He loved to wait for Joe to pass out after drinking, get his shoes off, and work on him until he would wake up, look down and up with a red face, and have to hurry to the john.  Steven would nearly split his sides laughing and would laugh all the harder when Joe would ask him what he was laughing about.  Steven would be very magnanimous and then break out some good weed, his famous jasmine & black orchid oil, and then proceed to physically soothe and calm the poor boy down. Joe was always good for a nice long stealth cuddle after that. That's why Steven did it.  Part of his research.

Tonight Steven was thinking that maybe he should give Joe a small peak into the research data.  Joe was clearly in some happy place in his head.  Steven was dying to know how far this went.  He slowly put his hand under Joe's jacket.  God Steven loved that fur lining.  If he didn't know for a fact the Joe would murder him, he would "borrow" it. Steven kept his hand moving lightly along Joe's hip and then upper thigh when his hand ran over what could have been a small iron pipe.  Steven stopped completely stunned now. Joe had a truly impressive hard-on. Steven wondered at that point: "What the hell is Joe dreaming about?"  Steven had seen Joe sport a chubby a few times:  The few Aerosmith girl fans they had were notorious for losing the buttons on their shirts during concerts and nobody in the band was exactly blind.  Joe was only human after all.  But this was a different thing altogether.  This call for attention Joe was making was almost desperate in nature.  An investigation was warranted here.  So, Steven removed Joe's jacket altogether.   This might get a little messy.

After making sure that the lock on the curtain was still fastened, Steven checked to see if Joe was still out of it. He was. Steven carefully undid the top button on Joe's jeans.  Next, he had to decide how best to get the zipper open without waking the man upp.  Steven was expecting to have to tug hard to get it down.  But much to his surprise with just the slightest touch to the pull, it sped down with surprising force all on its own.  Whatever was going on down there, the zipper clearly wanted no part of it. After making a note of that,  Steven continued his research. He observed that Joe sported purple heather bikini briefs. If they were the brand that Steven thought them to be, he knew how expensive they were, about $25 a pair att the very least.  Good Job Joe!!  But Steven could already see why the zipper was making a run for it.  The monster inside the briefs was trying to claw its way out and was about to lay  wayst to Japan!! All Steven could do was stare.  "Wow!! Tony Joe we hardly knew ye!  Joe must put his pants on in a very cold room' Steven thought, just to keep all of that in one place.

Joe moaned  again  just a bit louder. "Keep it down Joe" Steven muttered at Joe's face.  "And you stay right where you are." Steven said to Joe's monster.

"The Right Reverend Tyler is here to perform an exorcism on this demon."  After removing the bracelets from one of his wrists. Steven carefully peeled down the front of the purple garment. The monster sprang out with a vengeance.  'God-dammn, I should have brought a whip and a chair!' he thought.  It actually grew another inch over all as soon as it was free.  Steven thought he could hear it roaring.  Almost as if it heard his thoughts, the monster literally leaned towards him and was waving around with intent.  'Oh so you want to challenge me.  You want to wrestle do ya??'  Steven extended his unbraceleted hand towards it.  He grasped it gently. His first thought of its being a bar of iron was not too far wrong:  Joe was hard, very hard. Steven held it tighter since it seemed up to the task. He started stroking Joe a little rhythmically but it was a little rough going as he didn't want to hurt Joe with a dry palm.  And again as if it had heard his thoughts, a bead of pre-cum put in an appearance on the tip.

'Well thank you Joe' Steven thought and dutifully made use of the bead to ease his way, and the tip had generously provided more. 'Oh this works.  Are you loving this Joe?' Steven said speaking to the monster. "You only wanted petting didn't you? Well I'm only here to help." Steven was making a proper job of it too.  Massaging it all the way down to the base, twisting the head, and tickling the tip.  When Steven took his hand off at one point to flex his fingers some, the monster started wiggling and turning circles slightly like it was looking for something.  When Steven went to grab it, it actually backed away from his hand and when he took it in slightly forcefully, the monster was squirming to get out.

'Oh you want more, do you? Or rather you want something else'  Steven looked at Joe's still sleeping but troubled face. 'You don't know who's doing this for you, but you still want it, is that it?'  My God, you really know how to push a guy's buttons.  Fucking sexy even when your zonked.'  Well Steven still had said he needed more research data and here was someone willing to generously hand it over.    And not necessarily by hand...

'Okay since you're being so accomodating about it' Steven squeezed Joe's cock a bit more firmly at the bottom steadying the tip for himself.  He snaked a tentative tongue down to Joe's tip to assure the monster it was going to get what it wanted.  When Steven looked at it, the bastard was actually winking at him. 'Oh shit! Okay, its game on Motherfuckah!' Steven had previously put a pillow down on the bus floor and now he settled down on it more firmly and got to work on drowning the monster.

Steven had not blown guys very frequently as he very picky about the hygeine of any of his sexual conquests and he knew that men were truly lazy bastards when it came to that sometimes.  But he knew for a fact that Joe was most fastidious to a cat like degree.  Some of that was Steven's fault: When Steven was parachuting, he made sure he was quite clean before he jumped.  He required that of himself and anybody he chose to have around him when he did. And that was almost exclusively Joe.  Frequently he would have Joe join him in a jacuzzi bath before he took the dive.  Joe was adamant about not diving with him, but he made sure he stayed with Steven for the first 15 minutes to be sure he was okay  But Joe discovered he really liked being wet and had become a regular bather.  Steven had even bought him his own custom made bubble bath for his birthday.  Which he was wearing now.

Joe smelled absolutely delicious and tasted even better.  Joe was also a very clean eater. Had been for years. So, between the bathing and the diet, Joe made for a very tasty package. Steven was doing things to Joe's cock that he would not have done with anyone else.  Especially an uncircumsized man like Joe. Steven was in heaven.  He was almost ready to conclude his research with an addendum to his data. "Answer still inconclusive, but with an 85% possibility that positive affirmation on the question may be limited to one specific test subject.  More research absolutely required."

Steven was beating Joe's monster down. Exorcizing that demon by smiting it with broad cross strokes of his tongue.  This was about to become an almost spiritual awakening for Steven and he hoped for Joe too.  Joe was rhythmically bucking into Steven's throat.  Steven didn't know what Joe had been dreaming about but this was clearly part of what his cock wanted in that scenario. Joe was about to come Steven could feel, but Joe was also starting to get loud Steven could hear.  Steven hated to stifle a persons passion, but he was not in the mood to share the experience with everyone right now.  So he placed his hand on Joe's scowley mouth.  He licked the Joe's tip in encouragement and tickled under the head.  'Come on Joe. Release the Kraken!' And Joe did. Steven clamped his mouth shut and held on while Joe let the lava flow.  He let go a volley of five generous bursts, which Steven held in his mouth, the other smaller shots he caught in his hand.  Steven looked up at Joe's face as he removed his hand from his mouth.  Joe hadn't cried out loud after all but Steven could see was about to say something.  Steven quickly got off the floor and got in his seat next to Joe. He wrapped an arm around Joe's neck and then covered Joe's mouth with his own and kissed him deeply.

Steven pulled a few tissues out of the bus overhead dispenser and wiped his hand.  Next, he pulled out a few wet wipes from another dispenser and gently but quickly did as thorough a cleanup on Joe's uncut cock as possible and tucked Joe back into his expensive purple briefs. He then draped Joe's jacket back over his front.

Steven made sure he was in the bathroom when Joe woke up so he could deal with fastening his trousers back up himself.  He would happily answer Joe if he were to ask any questions about it, but he sincerely doubted that Joe would. Joe was still in his same sitting position when Steven returned.

"We're going to arrive at the hotel in about 20 minutes.  You got all the stuff you're going to want to take in with you??" Joe asked.

"Yeah, I didn't buy anything except these fashion mags." Steven answered, flipping through the pages.

"Steven, what was the name of The Little Mermaid in that Disney flick?"

"Oh what, so I'm the Disney guru now??  I thought we went over all of that the other night after the party."

"Oh yeah, we did didn't we?" Joe satt thinking in silence for a few minutes.

"Ariel"

"What?"

"The princess with the tail fin.  Her name was Ariel."

"You sure it wasn't Callie?"

"Yeah I'm sure.  Did that bump fuck with your head Beautiful?"

"Only in a very good way." Joe sat staring with a smile on his face

Steven put his magazine down and cast a very delighted smile at his hot, hunky and handsome...lover.  He could think that outloud to himself.  Though, he had to get around to sharing this thought with Joe to his face one day.  Well, one doesn't want skewed data.  It's gotta be mutual.  For now, Steven would settle for just putting his head on Joe's shoulder.  

Joe moved his head a little to accommodate Steven's new proximity, but other than that he made no move to stop him.  He was still smiling, and was now softly humming the tune "Under The Sea".

"Joe, can I tell you a joke??  You know what the difference between Like and Love is??"

"Steven, everybody knows the answer to that. A Spit or a Swallow."

"No it isn't actually."

"No? Then what is it Smarty Pants?"

"It's finding someone that is willing to split the difference with you."

Joe's eyes widened at the statement.  And got wider the more he thought about it.

Then Joe wrapped an arm around Steven, pulling him closer,  and started to laugh.  Steven looked up into Joe's face and when He realized why Joe was laughing, he was very happy about it and started to laugh too.

[questionsnooneasks]

Those Were The Days, A Steven and Joe Story Part 4

Chapter 2 

'What The Fuck?' Steven thought

Something was pulling his toe. "Where am I again? In the hotel. Oh my god, I heard a rumor that this old place might have mice.'

That thought caused Steven to suddenly open his eyes and sitt up in bed.  And instantly regret it.  The hotel blinds had been opened and they angled the morning sunlight straight at his face.

"FUCK!!" he yelled at the open air. He quickly closed his eyes and immediately made to dive back under the covers.

"No you don't Asshole!!  We're already way past checkout time because of you.  Get the fuck up! NOW!!"

This was classic Brad Whitford talking.

Just the facts Ma'am.

No bullshit Motherfucker.

Steven sat up again carefully blocking the streaming sunlight with his hand.  He struggled to focus his gaze and found himself facing the String section of his Hard Rock orchestra: His pitbull rhythm guitar player, Brad; his mad blond beach boy bass player Tom Hamilton; and his favorite toy doll, his G I Joe. Funny he always thought of him as 'My Joe'.  As if he somehow did belong to him, like his personal little amusement.  For some reason, Joe was looking at him oddly. Well, not looking at him at all really.  Kind of looking through him actually, Like he was trying to not think of him or anything else.

Tom said "Steven are you gonna just sitt there looking stupid??  You heard what Brad said.  Let's go!! We're late!!"  Tom said his piece and and turned on his heel and left the room.

Brad said "Joey's on the bus already.  And you know him -- you keep him waiting he's liable to commandeer at gunpoint the whole fucking thing and leave without us." Brad left too.

Steve knew that too well.  And he was in no mood to come out his own pocket for a hotel limo to drive the 6 hours to the next gig. Steven slowly got out of bed and stretched the kink out of his back and started for the bathroom.  He was a bit surprised to see Joe was sitting in the chair he had occupied the night before.  He realized he never even saw him move.

"You don't seem to be in a hurry." Steven said walking past him to the bathroom and start the shower.

"We'll get there when we get there" Joe said

That's  my  loyal little Joe Steven thought.  But now that he was finally awake, he was gonna stick to his grooming ritual. He had his preferred long hot shower, leaving no part of himself unsoaped or unscrubbed.

"Are we all packed??" Steven asked from behind the slightly closed bathroom door, as he was toweling himself off.

"I am.  I thought I saw the tour manager standing in the hall watching the bellboys very carefully when they came in here to get your bags.  So I assume he had one of them pack for you." Steven suddenly stuck his head fromm around the bathroom door:

"Oh my god! Joe look under the bed right where my head was and see if my handbag is there?"

Goodie Bag, you mean thought Joe.  Joe took a hanger from the closet, stooped down near the bed, and poked under it.  It was met by a large and quite solid object.  He snagged it and pulled it out.

"Yes, it is Steven.  It's on the bed now."

"Oh thank heaven.  Remind me to give you a nice little shove later." Joe knew what that meant. And Steven knew how much he detested needles.

"Steven, we've talked about this. You know I don't like that."

Steven was back inside the bathroom again, where he was generously applying one of the many  unguents  he used on his body (Steven may be approaching 50 but his body was as soft as a 17 year old girls).  

Steven laughed  "Well, you know me Joe.  I keep hoping you'll change your mind"

"No thank you please Motherfucker."

"Geez Joe! Rude much?"

"I said Please, didn't I??"  Steven laughed loudly at thatt.

"Well, since I can't sway you, will you hand the bag to me at least?"  Steve was making grabby fingers from around the door.

Joe picked the bag up by the strap and put it in his hand.

"You gonna stay while I get dressed??" Steven asked Joe.

"I don't feel like combing powder out of my hair again." Joe replied. Steven had come out of the bathroom dressed in his very colorful Chinese kimono and satt down at his portable vanity table.

"That only happened because you were trying to fuck up my ritual. There are steps to it you know.  How about you stay and I give you a nice bump instead?"

"Come on, Steven I'd like to get to the venue sometime before 30 minutes to curtain."  Joe slammed his hand down on the powder case first, but got a whack on the knee from Steven's hairbrush instead

"Get out of here before I get out the scissors and trimm your hedges Beautiful."  Steven's soft expression softened when he used his special nickname for Joe took the heat out of his words. Joe was held by Steven's gaze...for about 20 seconds

Then Joe suddenly remembered what happened 8 hours previously.  In particular, he remembered the kiss.  He thought that maybe he had dreamed that.  That was followed by the scary thought that he was dreaming that he wanted that to happen at all.  Scary??  Why would that thought scare him?

Joe's face gradually shifted back to the confused expression he had about 40 minutes ago, when he, Tom, and Brad had raided Steven's room.  Steven was doing a quick makeup in his mirror and noted Joe's face.

"Something wrong?"  Steven asked.  Joe just stood there looking confused.  He was about to speak when Tom burst through the door.

"Joe, you unmitigated ass!!  I thought leaving you here would help to motivate Steven's sloth-like pace.  But fuck no, I find you standing staring like a zombie and this one is...Steven your eye liner is a tiny bit crooked'..and seeing that Steven was about to sitt down again...'No No NO it's fine, it's fine!.  CAN WE PLEASE GO?!  NOW??"

Steven was giving Tom the stink-eye, wishing he had something other than his last tin of powder to hitt Tom over the head with.  But after deciding that the big mop-head wasn't worth the expense, just gave him double birds, and said: 

"Tom, why don't you make your self less of a buzz kill and have that packed up and sent down?" Steven said pointing to his dressing table 

"Fine. Whatever. okay"

Steven remained standing still, looking imperious.

Tom said: 

"Look I already agreed to have your stu.. your travel case packed. what are you waiting for now??"

"I'm waiting for Joe's arm.  Joe??"

Joe dutifully crooked his arm. And Steven took it, hitched the Goodie Bag firmly on his shoulder, and stuck his tongue out at Tom for good measure.  Joe and Steven then proceeded thru the door.

Tom brought up the rear turning out the light and closing the door.

[questionsnooneasks]

Those Were The Days, A Steven and Joe Story Part 3

Those Were The Days, A Steven and Joe Story Part 3

(Chapter 1 Still continued)

Snow is Falling and Joe and Steven are   huddled in the back of a taxi with a broken heater. Steven had produced from his bag a large fur edged cashmere scarf and tucked it around himself. Joe sat still wearing his own fur lined Leather Jacket ..('Always bring a jacket Joe' his mother would say - 'You never know when there's gonna be change of the weather'),  Joe was amusing himself with the thought that the Tall Blonde Girl's leopard jacket must have been either pretty cheap or didn't fit Steven properly. Joe was also a little annoyed that Steven had not thought to nick the girl's wallet while he was stealing her clothes because he was gonna have to pay the entire cab fare again... by himself. Steven never kept any cash on him as he was around too many shady people.  But at least the bastard was safe & sound leaning on his arm already half asleep and not able to do any more damage, so Joe took that as a win.  When the taxi stops, Joe hauls Steven out, pays & tips the cabby and He and Steven return to their hotel.

They retrieve their keys from check in and walk arm in arm to the elevator.  They soon step out of the elevator on their floor.  Joe admires the furnishings of the brightly lit hallway. Steven is getting a little heavy but it's only a few more steps.  However, he is forced to a stop as suddenly Steven, whom he would have sworn was not capable, has disconnected himself from Joe's arm and starts singing, an old Boston tune.

"Let me-e-e take you ho-o-home too-nigh-high-height!” Steven sings opening up his arms to Joe.

"What the hell??" Joe winces at first. Steven spreads his arms out and sings again “Let me-e-e (hick) take you ho-o-home too-nigh-high-height!" Steven's got this big stupid grin on his face. Joe is surprised and he is baffled and is now very glad that  "HEE"  made the promise to take Steven home. God help us all if it was anyone else here but me, Joe thinks. He smiles softly at Steven. He looks so deceptively cute and innocent with his kohl lined eyes and bushy hair. Steven can be so funny sometimes….

Steven is being manuevered through a door. He is still singing softly ‘Take me home tonight..’ as he is heaved onto a soft flat surface. He’s startled when his head connects with a mattress.  He slowly looks around a bit wary but he sees Joe and realizes he has no reason to be fearful. He lays back down singing 'too-nigh-eye-tah' his fingers twirling and bouncing like a conductor. He is happy and relieved Joe is here.

“Let me take youuu...." he is getting more tired. He looks at Joe who is looking back down at Him. He admires Joe’s face and his Jet black hair swirling around him. He stops conducting his imaginary musicians and says

"Hey Joe, siddown and finish your bottle.  We're already back.  Besides, my Tuey's is just kicking in.  I need someone here I can trust while I go beddie bye."

"Beddie-bye?? Geez, Steven, You're closer to 47 years old,  not 7.  Beddie-bye he says"

"Remind me to kick your ass tomorrow for that.  Be glad I'm not asking you to tuck me in. Let's make this simple.  U go and sit in that chair over there , where I can see u and u can see me . Okay?"

"I can do that."  Joe slouches over to the chair and sits down.  Realizing how he normally sits, he gets up and adjust the angle of the chair, then retakes his seat.

"That's perfect Joe.  That works for me."

"I'm happy for you Steven."

Both of them are just looking at each other happy and quiet. Joe's looking at Steven thinking 'I don't know why I put up with this idiot sometimes.  Of course, I'm probably the bigger idiot because I always do what he wants.  As my Mom used to say "It must be love." Oh great. Now I did "NOT" need that thought running around my brain.'

Steve is slowly fading.  Looking at Joe and smiling.  Well staring at him actually. He realizes that Joe is still drunk but happy. Happy apparently to do whatever it is I want. Now that's a pal. He must actually like me: he put up with all my bullshit today, and he still put on a great show.  Performing with me, for me. Escorted me to the party and let me enjoy myself. Quietly protecting me watching my back the whole time.  And here it is in the small hours and he's still with me.  Letting me stare at him and not asking any questions why. He doesn't realize how much his presence is a comfort to me. I must love him or something.  Where have I heard that before??  Oh yeah - Joe's mom used to say that all the time.  Huh, go figure.  Maybe she's right. He does make me so happy.'

After about 10 minutes, Joe murmurs from his chair 'Steven? You asleep yet?'  Steven says nothing.  Steven doesn't snore as Joe knows quite well so he can't be sure.  He carefully gets up, which is a bit of a struggle as he is still quite drunk.  But he achieves it and walks near the bed.  He bends lower and makes sure Steven is actually breathing. He is, but to be sure he puts a hand near to his face to feel that warm breath coming out.  Satisfied, Joe starts to straighten up and turn when Steven suddenly grabs the bottom of his jacket.

"Where's  my  goodnight kiss?" he says.

"Sleeping Beauty get's the kiss to wake her up, not the other way around."

"You think I'm beautiful Joe?"

"No, I'm Beautiful.  That's your nickname for me remember?"

"Yeah, you are.  Well, if since I'm not Sleeping Beauty I must be Prince Charming."

"That you are Steven.  Well, when you're not being Queen Maleficent.  Why are we talking about Disney movies?"

"Because I'm 7 years old, according to you."

Gotcha!! Joe thinks to himself.  This is why Steven is the lyric writer in this band.

"You know what? That actually deserves a kiss." Joe sits down carefully on the edge of Steven's bed, put his hands on either side of Steven's head, and gives him a firm smack on the side of his mouth. "Okay?" he says.

"Oh Joe do I have to teach you everything??"  Steven then wraps his arms around Joe's neck pulling himself up slightly and shows Joe how its done.  He surprises Joe with a sweet tongue tickling French kiss.

Joe actually sobers up slightly in his surprise.  He felt he should be angry about being taken advantage of like this, but couldn't find the will for it.  Instead he gently extricated himself from Steven's embrace as it seemed that this expenditure of emotion was what it took to finally knock Steven out.

Joe gently laid Steven back on his pillow.  And much to his own surprise, found himself tucking the man in.

Joe stood up and stared down at Steven for a minute.  He was still a little stupefied by what just happened.  And he  was feeling the beginnings of a headache coming on from all of the wild mood swings he just went thru too.  'I'm either very drunk or I really liked that but don't know it.  Fuck it.  I'll figure it out tomorrow'

He headed to his own room and his own bed to deal with all of this.

[questionsnooneasks]

Those Were The Days, A Steven and Joe Story Part 2

Those Were The Days, A Steven and Joe Story

CHAPTER 1 Continued -

“Tonight - We are Young!  Let’s Set the Stage on Fire!!” Steven says nodding his Head at Joe .

Joe is Breathless. Something has passed between them that has never happened before.  Steven is lighting the fires in the pit of his heart.  It was an exciting feeling.  And Joes thinks it's BECAUSE of how he was feeling, the band plays one of the greatest sets they have ever played.  They put on a spectacular performance.  They do indeed set the stage on fire. They are running around happily. Joe is Playing his Absolute Best Tonight. Steven is in Fine Voice and singing at full volume.  And he is taking a particular delight in pulling Joe to him via that white scarf.  Pulling them face to face for the single mic harmonies; Steven untying it from Joe's neck and artfully re-wrapping it around his own neck with the use of a strategic spin; gently tying them together while draping himself over Joe's back during a guitar solo. The Crowd was going wild at their antics.

They ran offstage after their 3rd encore, hot, sweaty and breathing hard.  Joe is not long out of the shower and in his dressing space changing into his street clothes for the party they were expected at, when Steven called him over to his space with his typical "Hey-Perry-bring-your-ass-over-to-me" summons.

“God that was a great show tonight. That's what everyone in management has been saying tonight, and you know those assholes don't know shit from Shinola. You were brilliant Joe.  I mean you always are in my opinion, but you were just magical tonight." he says.

Joe raises a skeptical eyebrow at him.  "Surprised to hear you say that. Given your behavior earlier." he says

Steven looks sternly back at Joe . “Look, I know that I constantly give you all a hard time. But I like shit to be right and I "WILL" have it right.  I mean I have to stand there while people watch me sing it you know.  The least you all can do is play it the way we rehearsed it.  I mean how hard is that, huh??"

Joe has to admit Steven is right. "Well..yeah.  But you don't have to be so god-damned rude about it Steven."  and he can tell that Steven feels the effect of his words.

"Well like I said - I truly do apologize. And I'll try harder to be a little less of a terror. At least next time when I bite your heads off, I promise I will lick the wound sooner.” Joe smiles at Steven's rather graphic left handed apology.

"Geez Steven, That was just so heart-felt.  I mean you don't have to get all sloppy about it."

"Well Fuck you, Mr. Happy, He of the Ever Present Scowl.  That's all you're getting from me on that.  Now, Get out of here and let me get pretty.  And don't you dare leave with anybody else. I'm willing to try to take it easy on you guys about the music.  But you can take it to the bank that I certainly "WILL" kick the Bitch or the Motherfucker's ass who would try and deprive me of my favorite Arm Candy."

Joe just grinned at him. As he turned to leave he said. "Okay, but sometime this side of midnight huh?"

Joe had to spend an extra 15 minutes on his hair to remove all of the face powder that came out of the small container that Steven accurately beaned him with on his  way out of the door.

The Aftershow Hotel Party is already underway. It's a typical Aerosmith affair: Babes, Booze, and Blow. Joe and Steven entered together, arm in arm like they were the King and Queen, with Steven maintaining a forceful grip on Joe's arm.  Joe could tell that many of the guests already had a good head start on them and he can observe all the various types of intense Party behaviors that occur at these shindigs: The ladies eyeing each others clothes..the men eyeing the ladies deciding who to start with..groups of folks laughing with each other..Other groups laughing att each other..people arguing about things.....all the typical bullshit.

He and Steven haven't been completely left behind tho. Steven had done a couple of lines with Joe in his dressing room before they left the arena and he knew that Steven always had his own stash plus a Tuinol pill or two handy.  However, Joe was a traditionalist and had always been a B Y O B (Bring your Own Bottle) type of guy, no matter if there were free drinks where he was going. He was a big fan of mixed drinks and wanted to be sure he wasn't being fobbed off with the cheap stuff.

So Joe was feeling mighty fine as he was taking in his surroundings.  He and Steven had taken a turn around the room together, posing for coveted backstage pics by management approved photographers, Joe shaking hands with all of the guitar magazine editors who wanted him to “at least try” their endorsed new products or were trying to entice him to do a multi page interview with a guaranteed cover.  Steven kissed all the pretty ladies with the (corporate invested) rich older husbands, giving them a thrill by making them feel young again.  For all his middle aged reality, Steven was considered quite a sexy man by every female fan between 16 and 60.  And by a few of the guys too.  It always amused Joe to watch how, when Steve made one of his few nightly forays into or ( if the venue allowed Steven to employ his trapeze) "OVER" the audience, to watch how many "straight" guys would be elbowing the girls and each other out of the way to get just the slightest touch of Steven.  And sometimes Steven would allow them more than a slight touch...

Joe ruffles his hair and realizes that he needs to pace himself with the drinks. Some of Joe’s musician friends are in the bathroom getting higher than the Empire State Building and he thinks about going in there to partake of a line or two just to even himself out. But he knows  Steven would blow a gasket if he did.  'Don't even think about Baby. I always got anything and everything you want Beautiful. No Need to go looking elsewhere.' As if by Design, Joe turns his head and sees Steven in his line of sight on the other side of the room.

Steven notices and immediately ends the conversation he was having.  Steven crosses the room and comes over and stands in front of Joe, pulling him closer by the lapels of his fur lined leather jacket.

"I want to tell you again Joe how good you were tonight and how proud I am to be doing this with you.  It wouldn't be the same for me with anyone else you know??  You do get that don't you Beautiful?"

"Of course I do Steven.  You are a special kind of crazy you know.  The light to my dark, remember?  I know I probably wouldn't have made it this far this quickly if you hadn't insisted that we were going to form this band. But you are a true pain in the ass make no mistake. It's not lost on me.  But of course if you weren't kicking my ass...all our asses for that matter...none of us would be here."

"Damn straight you scowly bastard.  I molded you and this band together with my bare hands.  I don't mean to be so hardass about it, but I can't help it. My Calabrese blood just gets up sometimes. And I admit I can be one vindictive motherfucker.  I guess I just expect some appreciation, that's all.  You can understand where I am coming from right?"

Joe was being forcefully held close enough to see the sincerity in Steven's eyes.  He could see also that Steven was gacked to the nines.  But he clearly meant every word he was saying.

"I absolutely do Steven.  No matter whatever else I may yell at you during rehearsal, you know what I really feel.  What I will always feel."

Steven gave Joe one his most dazzling smiles and slowly loosened his hold on his jacket lapels.

"Good. Glad we got that straightened out.  Okay now, as a reward, I'm gonna go get shit faced before the bar closes. Care to join me??

"No I'm good Steven.  Got my bottle right here.  Besides, someone has to make sure we get home okay.  But I'll just watch you. Go enjoy yourself."

Steven scampered off after some very tall cute blonde in a cashmere fur trimmed wrap and a leopard print jacket.  Being familiar with a number of Steven's proclivities, Joe knew the blonde was going to be going home without the wrap, or the jacket, or possibly even both depending on how fucked up Steven got her.

Slowly, but surely the party was coming to an end. Joe had taken up his position in a chair in a corner, way buzzed but awake, hanging on to the last of his bottle.  He was looking around hazily at his bandmates and a few of the party guests still left. A group of a half dozen pretty young ladies were talking and giggling on the couch.  At least three of them were braless with their shirts open.  Theirs must be whose bras were being used for sling shots for the volley sprays of popcorn that he noticed were frequently being let loose back and forth across the room. Brad the guitar player was leaning on the sturdy back of a conveniently placed iron statue looking awkward with a drink in his hand and smiling at the goings on. Joey was Hammered and having an earnest conversation with that same statue's mustachioed face. Tom was sitting in an arm chair and talking earnestly with some guy in big lensed sunglasses with a girl on his lap who appeared to be very high and nuzzling his neck. It took Joe a bit of time, but he finally located Steven in his peripheral vision.  He turned his head and saw Steven on some floor cushions nodding off using his omnipresent handbag has a headrest.

Time to go Joe thought.  His first impulse was to round up all of his band mates, but as he had seen before they were all still wide awake and appeared to be enjoying themselves.  Especially Joey who had just apparently shared a very hilarious joke with the statue's whiskery iron pan.  Besides the only one he had actually promised to be sure to get home was Steven.

To Be Continued....

[questionsnooneasks]

Those Were The Days, A Steven and Joe Story Part 1

Those Were The Days, A Steven and Joe Story

SUMMARY: Before the rehab: Aerosmith have survived their years of drink and drug abuse, but these were the Days when  rock'n'roll was ‘still a party’

CHAPTER 1 -

Work Text:

"DUDE" asks Steven Tyler "Have you got any Sudafed?”

He's asking this of his partner Joe Perry.  "Of course I don't. I ain't allowed and you especially ain't allowed." But here..you can have that."  Joe tosses him jar of a extra strength mentholated aromatherapy balm.  It comes with it's own little glass applicator. Tyler scoops a nice portion from the jar and takes a huge whiff.  The results are immediate Steven shakes his head, wiping his watery eyes.

"Oh My God, Joe!  This stuff is great!  Can I keep this?"

Joe just looks at him and grins. "Given your usual "Whats Yours Is Mine and Whats Mine is Mine" method, I am actually flattered that you respected me enough to even ask me."

"Back in the old days, I probably would have swiped this and the complete contents of your medicine cabinet.  Just for the hell of it.  By the way your program's back on."

Joe had been watching the local MTV style channel on the hotel TV.  It's a short puff piece on their band Aerosmith from 20 years previous.....

The narrator intones:

"Steven Tyler. Joe Perry.  Popular since the 1970's, they are respected fixtures on the American Rock Scene.  However, If you had run into this pair 25 years ago, the drink and the drugs would have been premium-strength, and the ensuing conversation pretty much incomprehensible.

Back then, Tyler and Perry were known as the Toxic Twins, and their band, Aerosmith, transgressed new frontiers in superstar decadence.

In the mid-Seventies, when stadium giants such as the Rolling Stones and Led Zeppelin were taking two or more years to make an album, Aerosmith became America’s favourite rock 'n’ roll band, by relentlessly forging ahead with a take-no-prisoners approach.  There rise to stardom was fueled by a voracious diet of booze, pills, cocaine, heroin and little in the way of food.

Sadly, as the world knows, this consumption took its toll: by the early 80's their records stopped selling and their lives fell apart.  One had expected to read any minute of the sad passing of one or all of their members.

Which leads us to the Miracle of Now....

Now, in their fifties, they have transformed themselves into one of the biggest fixtures In Rock & Roll today.  Having put their dangerous habits at bay, they now lead sober and enviably luxurious lifestyles that most of us would sold our Souls to have. Yes, the Aerosmith of 2001 are rarities of The 70's:  They Are Survivors...."

The mini doc switches to a clip of the bnd in Europe:

"Steven, Joe and the rest of the band are in Munich, Germany where the band are spending a couple of days promoting their energetic new album, Just Push Play.  It’s the kind of chore that other artists might resent, but Tyler and Perry, tho jet lagged having just flown in from their home of Boston, Massachusetts seem positively happy to be here."  

Joe is watching his video self on screen answer the German interviewers question

'Is being famous the same now as it was when you were younger?'

“Well Frankly doing all the TV talk shows, radio interviews,  all that shit, it sucks, man,” says Perry, “but you know there are some joys to it. I get to drive a real German Mercedes Benz racer at full speed on the Autobahn and don't have to worry about getting a ticket.”

The scene switches again to reporting by what must be a Fashion & Entertainment reporter..

"The new album’s cover features a stylized depiction of a female robot, whose skimpy yellow dress billows up a la Marilyn Monroe.  It is very enchanting"

"Here are the Twins stepping out of the local TV station after yet another interview.  Guitarist Joe Perry is dressed in black, right down to the skiing shades that save him from the harsh glare of the TV lights.   His partner, singer Steven Tyler is wearing a white cashmere turtle neck, Gold Satin Bell Bottom trousers, and sporting a fur-trimmed plush Pink Jacket, accessorized with expensive looking gold jewelry and rose-tinted spectacles, which seems appropriate given his youthful "hippy-dippy" attitude.

Joe clearly remembers that particular interview session and wondered at the time 'What the Hell is wrong with Steven?' Joe sees that Steven was clearly finding it hard to concentrate on the questions being asked of him.  Which were uncomfortably intrusive at best.  Joe sees himself on camera clenching his fist as he waits patiently for Steven to answer the question at hand. "Well, salacious stories, from the band’s past" Steven begins,"just come with the territory when it comes to promotional work.”   Joe could see Steven's impatience with the question through his pink glasses, but he doubted that the audience knew what they were witnessing.

Joe watches until the TV piece finishes and is still staring at the TV while it moves to a commercial break.  The whole broadcast sets him on a memory train of sorts specifically about a certain night from the past that turned out to be a beginning of sorts. He starts picking at the edges of the label on bottle of tonic water he's drinking ...remembering......

"DUDE!" asks Steven Tyler, in a Harsh whisper

"Have you got any Goodies for  me??" Joe can barely hear him let alone see his face.

“DUDE!!” he says a little louder and clearly annoyed.

“No.” Joe looks down remaining quiet with his Hair Covering His Face.. with his guitar hanging from his shoulders.  He knows what Steve wants from him. It's just….

He won't give it to him. Steven has an almost uncontrollable craving for Goodies. Joe’s got the same problem, the same craving. And like Steven he's what the world calls those that crave goodies and it's not a nice name. Junkie.

But Steven just looks at Joe and backs off on his request somewhat. Taking him at his word, Joe guesses.  Or maybe because, he realizes when he turns his head, that Steven has found a new target for his drug rage. He is yelling at Tom for some deficiency that Steven has found in his playing of the song.

Joe looks away slowly and lights a small joint.

'Here we go again ' he thinks.

“Why can’t you play it the way I said to play it? Are you that Dumb?” Tom looks down and says

“I'll play it right Steven just leave me alone. ..” Joe looks away and finishes the last of his pre-show joint. As he does, he notices that Steven is zeroing in another victim that is stupidly coming closer to the firestorm.

“And you. Brad do you even know what key this song is in??  I thought you went to music school..or did you buy that diploma instead?"  Joe is amazed by Steven's intense aura. 'He's really mad tonight.' Joe thinks. He’s Glaring hotly at them both.  Joe thinks to himself. "Why does Steven seem to get more beautiful the angrier he gets??'  I must be really high."

Steven looks like some kind of demented Archangel. He is wearing a Bright white body hugging jumpsuit with gold threading intermixed with with beaded white tassles on the sleeves that are catching the light even in the darkened backstage area.  His dark brown hair, streaked with blonde, is swirling about his shoulders.  His Stage Makeup done to a fare thee well.  Steven's glam squad do a fabulous job of taking 20 years off of him while NOT making it look like he's trying too hard.

It also serves another purpose:  It kind of alters Stevens just enough so you really cannot tell what he is thinking -- whether he is mad, or sad. or even happy.  But maybe that's just because Steven is just that good of an actor.  Or maybe it's the goodies.  Who knows.  But Joe can't help but be constantly fascinated by watching Steven.

Well, anyway Joe is ready to go.  He is wearing his favorite black leather jacket and chaps with white fringes.  As a corresponding "Devil" to Steven's "Angel".  But around his neck he is wearing Steven's long white silk scarf, personally tied by the man himself.  Joe had said "It's kind of a glaring contrast, don't you think?? Aren't I supposed to be the Devil to your angel?"  

Steven had looked at him intensely as he tied it. 'You forget my Beauty that the Devil is just a corrupted Archangel.  This scarf says I own this Devil.  He is mine to do with as I please.'

Joe comes back to himself and when the backstage manager calls "Five minutes to curtain!" And he hears Steven talking to the other band members in a much calmer tone.

“I'm Sorry, guys. It’s Just - It's just that I like things to be fucking perfect if at all possible. I know you boys want that too. Right?” Tom, Brad, & Joey grudgingly agree, tho they still smarting from Steven's whiplash tongue.  They nod their acceptance.

Joe is glad that bit of drama is over.  And he starts flexing his muscles to loosen up his shoulders.  He closes his eyes when he does this and puts himself in that particular headspace he needs to be in before every good performance.  He rolls his head, swirls his shoulders, and pops his pecs.

It does the trick, and now he is all loose limbed and ready to go.  He looks relaxed. Til He opens his eyes.

And finds that Steven is Staring at Him with a very odd expression on his face. Joe Can’t Tell What Steven is feeling.

But what is certain is that he's smiling and intensely looking him over, almost like he has never seen him before. Joe is confused.

“What?” Joe says

“Tonight - We are Young!  Let’s Set the Stage on Fire!!” Steven says nodding his Head at Joe .

To be continued

[questionsnooneasks]

PHOTOG PHUNNIES..with Steven and Joe 4

Press Manager: Great Show Everybody! Just phenominal. Hey Steven, Joe! Gotta minute?? Thanks boys.

I want to ask you about some photos from the session this afternoon--we're on deadline with press. The photo on the left was taken about 6:30pm I know. I mean I was there. But the one the right was only about an hour later. What happen to Joe's shirt in that short window?

Joe: Uh..I um..we uh..(face turning red) I don't remember. Steven??

Steven: We had a little..uh..deep breathing session like we always do before the show. Just so we're in sync, you know? Let's just say it got a little intense.

Press Manager: How in the world does "deep breathing" get a shirt torn??

Steven: Well we were doing it in the back of the trailer and afterwards as I was getting up off my kne…(voicing trailing off and turning red himself). And you know what?? How about you mind your own damn business about the fuckin' shirt!! Can't a guy arrange to have something something interesting to look at while onstage??

[questionsnooneasks]

AFair Lot of Jealousy...a pictorial

[questionsnooneasks]

Photog Phunnies with Steven and Joe 3

[questionsnooneasks]

Victoria & Joe's Photo Album

Here's are a few pix from Mama Victoria's photo album. She and Papa Joe have had quite the career on the entertainment stage. Among the many other things they like to do together, they like getting dressed up for photo sessions -- Ms Victoria is a Fashion Icon after all.

And she's usually at her most fetching when Badass Brooder Joe agrees to pose with her. The photographers just love taking pictures of them too. But why not -- they both are quite comely together and separately. In fact, Mama V has always said, "As beautiful as I may be, pictures of My Joe just STANDING STILL could sell tickets all by itself!"

[questionsnooneasks]

Meet Mama Victoria's Beloved Papa Joe

This is Mama Victoria's partner in crime and number one main squeeze, Papa Joe. He's a handsome devil, ain't he?? It's like he was born with a sneer on his face. He and Ms. V have been emotionally involved with each other for well over 40 years. But if you have ever sometimes heard them backstage after a show, you would swear one was going to kill the other with their bare hands. Crazy as it sounds, this must be a deep, true love they have for each other. Plus, they each must get off on it because after over 4 decades, their train just keeps rolling along.

[questionsnooneasks]

Mama Victoria in her element...

Mama Victoria is a great performer in the tradition of the great R n B or Country Blues Singers. She has a 3-1/2 octave voice which is just thrilling to hear! Mama never fails to please

[questionsnooneasks]

INTRODUCING...MAMA VICTORIA!

This is Mr. T's alter ego Mama Victoria. She is oddly beautiful isn't she? She loves her finery: tons of jewelry, the best perfumes, clothes made to order with fabric she has picked out herself. And always travels with her own Glam Squad. She has the biggest heart and loves to give to charity. But make no mistake: Mama Victoria is not one to be trifled with. She packs a knife or two and knows how to use them...well. You cross her and Mama Victoria will personally kick your ass!!!

[questionsnooneasks]