Dr. Jack Abbot x Dr. (Ex-Mil)!Reader x Dr. Michael 'Robby' Robinavitch
Goodbye, My Lover (Four-Part Series)
Inspired by the 'Four Things that Matter Most', this series deals with the unspoken truths of your past and present. Having shared your life with both Jack and Robby at different stages, it's a bittersweet goodbye to the love that once was, but also a hopeful beginning for what might be.
Chapter 1: I Love You
Chapter 2: Please Forgive Me
Chapter 3: I Forgive You
Chapter 4: Thank You
After the Dust (Ongoing Series / Backstory to Goodbye, My Lover)
Chapter 1: Darkness
Chapter 2: Light (TBC)
Chapter 3: Peace (TBC)
Dr. Jack Abbot x Reader
Strip Her: Amidst a mass casualty event, Jack’s medical instincts clash with his personal life when the woman he loves risks her own life to save another. Is he about to watch you die?
Say It First: Jack has grown used to the emptiness in his heart, a quiet companion that has kept him safe for too long. But when you finally speak your truth, he realizes the hardest battles aren’t fought on the field or in the chaos of the ER, but in the silence between two hearts longing for each other.
Someone New: After witnessing the fallout from Jack's failed marriage, Dana and Robby have been skeptical of his new relationship. But when a freak accident forces them to see the depth of Jack’s feelings, their perspectives shift.
Still Life: Jack always expects the unexpected, both as a doctor and a partner. But when your water breaks during a citywide blackout, the pressure to deliver your baby safely grows with each contraction, trapping you, him and Robby in a single, still moment of life and loss.
Still Alive: (Still Life Part 2) Delivery complications during the birth of your son leave Jack caught between grief and hope, life and loss. In the stillness that follows, those who witnessed it begin to confront their own silent trauma, navigating recovery, healing and bonding with a newborn.
Say Something: A decade of falling in and out of love has turned you and Jack from lovers to strangers. But when a difficult case hits too close to home, you might finally be calling time of death on your marriage.
Dr. Michael 'Robby' Robinavitch x Reader
Heal: The clock's no longer ticking, as you and Robby prepare for a life-changing decision, navigating guilt, grief and the sweet relief of freedom.
Heal is absolutely phenomenal. I don't have endo but I have pretty intense PCOS. In fact, I didn't realize other people weren't in constant lower stomach pain until I was about 25. It was just so normal for me to always be cramping or to get spontaneous sharp shoots of pain. I just assumed everyone else did too.
The part about not wanting kids but also feeling like that decision is being taken from you... wow. That really hit me. Thats exactly how I feel, and there are times I'm grateful I have a socially acceptable excuse, but there are also times that I worry I'm lying to myself about not wanting them to save myself the pain of not being able to have them.
Anyway - thank you for your willingness to be vulnerable and for sharing something so personal. It was really nice to read something so relatable, and I'm sure there are many others who this story will resonate with ❤️
This is such a lovely message!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read and share your own experience! I relate so much, my conditions were also diagnosed way too late… so I’m very very biased and very frustrated with the system lol
And yes, the kids part is such a complex and sensitive subject isn’t it. I do feel it helps that many of my friends are in the same boat… afraid to have kids, afraid not to etc.
Thanks again for reading and wishing you lots of strength! I hope you’re finding ways to manage your pain 💖🌸
Synopsis: The clock's no longer ticking, as you and Robby prepare for a life-changing decision, navigating guilt, grief and the sweet relief of freedom.
Warnings: Hurt/comfort. Reader is having a hysterectomy, mentions of infertility, both Robby and reader choosing a childfree life, conflicted emotions, reader has a chronic menstrual condition like endometriosis/adenomyosis/fibroids, ovarian cysts, mentions of Jack's late wife, patient's pregnancy, miscarriage (not reader);
Word count: 3.3k+
A/n: As a chronically ill girly, this is my most personal and self-indulgent fic yet... hope you enjoy and I always appreciate you leaving some love <3
You've always hated hospitals. Too many misdiagnoses. Dismissals. Normalization of your pain.
In an ironic twist of fate you ended up married to a senior attending physician, who will do absolutely everything to take care of you.
To make the good days last and the bad days a little more bearable. To carry the weight of your condition with you. To make you feel less alone. To feel loved.
It shatters his heart that he cannot fix this. Fix you.
All he can do is hold your cold hand, willing you to wake up.
Robby is sat by your side. Like he promised. But you're in a deep sleep. Post-hysterectomy. The room too sterile and cold.
Minutes pass. Hours turn into days. The anxious energy builds, ready to snap. People stop by, flowers and chocolate in hand.
Colleagues, friends and so many specialists.
"This- This shouldn't be happening..." Robby paces the room, visibly upset, he brushes a trembling hand over his face.
"Robby, I assure you we're doing everything we can." Dr. Walsh's voice is laced with genuine compassion. "This happens sometimes. You know this."
"No. No!" Robby never raises his voice, but nothing makes sense anymore. He can only focus on the medicine. "You fucked up!"
"Robby! Get some air, brother." Jack jumps up from your bedside, approaching Robby like he's a scared animal. "Her body just needs a little longer to heal." Jack glances at you, your still form hooked up to machines and monitors. The shrill beeping a harsh reminder of your life hanging in the balance.
Walsh takes a deep breath and a cautious step forward. "We're optimistic-"
But Robby isn't in a position to listen. "She was scared... Before going under."
Jack grabs Robby's shoulders, pulling him in gently. Robby's hiccups quickly turn into sobs. "Sh- She was being brave for me."
"We're not there yet. I promise you, brother."
It had been the shift from hell. Robby's only light at the end of the tunnel is coming home to you.
Shoes and hoodie are dropped by the door. The overhead lights are on. Odd. No sign of the usual warm lighting, though you'd set the "no big lights" rule on your second date.
Something is off.
The TV is on, but you're not in your usual spot.
Robby walks into your bedroom, when he hears whimpers from the bathroom. There's only one reason you'd spend this much time in there.
"Angel?" Unable to hide his concern, he pushes the door open and freezes at the sight of you on the cold tiles, curled up in a fetal position.
Robby's next to you in a flash, carefully turning your body and cradling your head. Your eyes are closed, brows furrowed.
"Open your eyes, baby." His voice is firm, louder now.
You groan in response, clutching your stomach. Robby understands instantly. "Bad flare?"
You nod, trying to breathe through the contraction-like sensation.
"Take anything?" Robby's clinical brain is fighting the one of your loving partner.
"All the painkillers. Didn't do much. Was going for a bath, but the electric jolts up my butt had other plans..."
"How bad?" Robby knows you're not a fan of the pain scale, as it's completely relative. You're always in pain. Some days are just better than others.
Today is worse. Much worse.
"11..." You admit with a wince.
"Still want that bath?"
You're frankly not sure. The idea of stripping your clothes seems miserable, but dragging yourself to bed sounds equally impossible. So you stayed on the floor. Robby recognises your decision paralysis and takes charge.
"Let's get you in the tub." The palm of his hand finds your back, the other supports your neck, before he pulls you up to sit. He knows you must be dizzy, you've probably been on the floor for hours.
Before he continues Robby silently checks in with you, thumb gently caressing your cheek. He brushes a strand of hair from your damp forehead, then pecks the same spot.
You attempt a smile, albeit weakly. Still, you hope it shows how much you appreciate Robby being here. How much love you have for him.
Robby pulls your - his - oversized shirt over your head, leaving you topless. He pauses after each action, giving you small, reassuring squeezes, grounding you through the discomfort. When he stands up he lifts you with him. Once he is confident you're stable, he kneels back down to ease you out of your sweatpants and underwear, massaging your legs as he does it.
The pain often radiates down into your leg, making walking unbearable on high pain days. You glance down to catch Robby kissing your left thigh. The gesture seems small, but it's everything.
Robby was the one to suggest using a cane for those days. It was the best decision you've ever made.
You're slowly lowered into the tub, the water of course having the perfect temperature.
"Eat anything?" Robby runs a wash cloth up and down your back, your muscles relaxing under his touch.
You nod.
"Keep it down?" Robby knows you. So well, it's scary sometimes.
You freeze for a second before shaking your head, glancing towards the toilet.
It makes you feel beyond guilty. For burdening him with your illness. He should be with someone that can give him the life he deserves.
Robby doesn't want kids. Still, you can't help but feel like you've taken that decision from him.
You never wanted any either, but when they confirmed that you couldn't have the one thing the world insists you're built for, it shattered something within you. Even now, you're still not quite sure how to feel.
It's complex, to say the least.
"Sometimes I'm glad I can't have kids." You break the comfortable silence with your confession.
Robby looks at you, eyebrows raised. "Because it's more acceptable?"
You contemplate for a moment, "People feel more empathetic towards it, sure. But that's not it." You drop your head. "I guess it's because the choice wasn't mine."
Robby understands, as much as he can with a body that's so different to yours. That hasn't felt what you feel.
The pressure. Biological and social. The stigma. A system that's not built around your health.
"Have you thought more about the surgery?"
You knew this day would come. Someday. But now that day feels closer than ever.
"I think it's time, yeah." Your voice is small.
Robby exhales deeply, he too knew this day would come. It's a logical step, though a risky one nonetheless. And improvement isn't guaranteed. There's no cure for your conditions, but the removal of your uterus promises less flare ups, less side effects, less pain.
But it's just that. A promise.
You'd do anything to not let Robby see how afraid you really are.
But Robby reads you. Again. He picks up your ring finger, stares at the delicate band. Your promise of forever. Gives your hand a tight squeeze. "If I could take your pain, I would."
Not 'away'. Just take on your pain.
"You'll be okay."
Promises.
The nervous energy in the room is palpable. Robby's pacing at the nurses' station, shifting his weight from one leg to the other. He's just finished handing off his patients to Abbot.
"Breathe, brother. They can do this in their sleep." Jack gives Robby's shoulder a soft pat.
"It's not your wife that's about to be sliced open." Robby snaps.
Jack grimaces, almost feeling bad for Robby's catastrophic slip-up.
"Fuck-I, Jack...I'm so sorry. I didn't-" Robby presses his palms into his eyes. "I can't believe I fucking said that-"
Jack grabs Robby's shoulders, forcing eye contact. "Michael, I'll keep reminding you if you want me to, but I need you to listen."
Robby's shoulders soften under his best friend's touch.
"Your wife is one of the strongest people I know. This is an impossible decision, but it will improve her quality of life, one that's not dictated by flare ups and pain."
Robby's eyes well up. As a doctor, he knows this is the right choice for your wellbeing. But as your partner, he's also so afraid.
Afraid of what could go wrong. What might not improve. What might get worse.
Afraid of the cold metal against your skin.
You are losing a part of yourself, even if it's just an organ.
Jack squeezes Robby's shoulders, bringing him back. "When she walks through these doors, she needs her partner. Not Dr. Robinavitch calculating every possible risk. It's okay to be scared, but she'll have the best of PTMC working on her."
Robby nods. He only now notices Dana coming up behind him, touching his arm with a sympathetic look.
"Besides, I may have threatened Walsh a little to not fuck up."
Robby shoots him a look. Not helping.
With that the doors to the ED open, all eyes on you as you walk in with your overnight bag, though you've packed for more like a week.
Your walk doesn't exactly exude confidence, but you're trying your hardest to be brave for Michael.
Robby's eyes instantly soften, his legs carrying him to you like muscle memory.
"Hi, angel." He plants a gentle kiss on your forehead, looking for any sign of discomfort.
You rest your palm against his chest, subtly feeling for his heartbeat.
A love language you've both picked up.
He strokes your forehead, you ground him by touching his heart.
"Have you thought about freezing your eggs?"
Your eyebrows shoot up, trying to decipher if he's serious. "Isn't the whole point of this to not have kids?"
"That's not why you're doing it and you know it." Robby looks away with a resigned acklowledgement.
"Michael. I don't want children. We've talked about this."
"I know, I know. I just want to make sure you have all the facts."
"Are you speaking as my doctor or my partner? I thought we were on the same page."
"I got Heather pregnant once." He sighs deeply, ashamed that he wasn't there for her. "She only told me years later, but I wouldn't have been ready to be a father then."
"What about now?" You know there's no right answer.
Robby shakes his head. "We are on the same page. It's not about being ready. It's about being content with the life we have. The love we have. I don't need children to feel fulfilled. You give my life meaning."
"What if you regret it down the line? What if we break up? What if I d-"
"Don't." Robby's tone grows serious. "You're it for me, angel. No regrets. Just you and me."
Robby takes the bag from you. A comfortable silence settles between you, which you use to gather your thoughts.
"Ready to get this cold-blooded monster out of you?" You grin at Jack's terrible attempt at a joke.
"Ready to have my insides pulled out." You retort.
Robby grimaces, you catch it and pull his arm lightly.
"Come on, hon. Let's get you upstairs." Dana walks around the station to lead the way when...
Two EMTs roll in a new patient. "28-year-old female in active labor, 38 weeks pregnant, started crowning en route, contractions are 3 minutes apart. History of pre-eclampsia during the previous pregnancy. Some vaginal bleeding. We've been monitoring with a non-rebreather at 2 liters per minute."
You and Robby watch the scene unfold, Jack quickly pecks your cheek before springing into action, ready for battle.
The patient's strained screams echo through the ED.
Robby's hand finds your lower back, signaling it's time to go.
The woman's sobs stay with you even when the elevator doors close with a ding.
You feel Robby staring at you. Your jaw tightens, but you don't dare look back, knowing there's bitterness behind your eyes. Maybe it's jealousy, or pity?
Still not quite sure how to feel, you hate Robby seeing you like this. "Dodged a bullet there, huh?"
It catches Robby off guard, he chokes out a strangled laugh, running a palm over his face.
Coming into your boyfriend's ED as a patient might very well be your worst nightmare. But after throwing up for the past few hours and passing out next to the toilet, your roommate forced you to go in. Though you insisted on taking an Uber instead of an ambulance.
You and Robby have only been dating for three months, you wished you could've kept this side of your life hidden for a bit longer. Usually your partners either run for the hills or ghost you, until your issues are no longer their problem.
You don't blame them.
Having a condition that dictates your every day is draining. Not just for your own wellbeing but also your relationships.
You walk through the waiting room, clutching your stomach, your roommate in tow. It's the middle of the night, you know Robby works days so you pray to whatever higher power you don't run into him.
You've waited 4 hours before your name is finally called. With menstrual problems you're not exactly on the top of the list.
Everyone here knows Robby, so you can't really be sure who will catch on when they see your name.
The doctor that leads you to an exam room is called Dr. Ellis. You're relieved when you see her and hope she doesn't judge you, like so many - male - doctors have before.
It's hard not to let that frustration grow into resentment of a system that's not built for you.
Dr. Ellis does her routine exam, assessing your symptoms and listening to your concerns. "Has anyone ever informed you about the benefits of a hysterectomy? I know the procedure sounds scary, but it might-"
"Ever since I got diagnosed 15 years ago." You didn't mean to sound so blunt, or to interrupt her, but you've been through the trenches. You've seen and heard it all.
"Sorry", you attempt to explain. "It's just... It was never the right time, I didn't know if I wanted..." You look around the room, willing her to understand.
"That's totally normal, it's a big decision. I'm happy to refer you to one of our specialists. Right now, I would like to focus on why you're flaring and help you manage your pain. Is it okay to bring in my attending?"
Your heart rate spikes at that. Attending. Fuck.
You glance at your watch. 4am. It can't be Robby.
"Sure." You nod, visibly relieved and she wonders what that's about.
Dr. Ellis adjusts your pain meds and IV before she leaves the room to get whichever attending is in charge.
You go through the mental list of people Robby has mentioned.
And sure enough, Dr. Jack Abbot walks in. Jack. Robby's best friend. You wonder if Robby's mentioned you. If Jack has seen your picture. If he did, Dr. Abbot doesn't let on.
"Hello, I'm Dr. Abbot, what brings you in today?"
You shoot him a look, then gesture to the vomit bowl next to your bed.
His lips tip upwards, he likes your energy. "Wild night?"
A laugh catches in your throat. You see why Robby likes him. "Yes. Had a sexy date with my toilet."
"Hey, all my best nights have ended with me puking my guts out."
"I don't know about you, but I really hate my guts..."
He skims through your chart, his brows furrow. But you can't tell if it's because he knows about your condition or because he's recognised your name.
The silence makes you uncomfortable. Nausea hits you. In a split second you realize your first impression in front of your boyfriend's best friend will be puking on him. But Jack reads your energy shift and quickly pulls the bowl closer to your chest, just in time as you start heaving.
Once you stop, he continues softly. "I'm going to send you up for some more tests. I can see you've had multiple laparoscopies and excision surgeries."
"They only help so much." You explain with a sigh.
Jack nods. "It looks like a ruptured ovarian cyst is causing your bad flare today."
"Been there." You shrug.
"But the heavy bleeding suggests you might need surgery, so I'd like to monitor you for the next few hours and go from there."
Next few hours. Of course you wouldn't be able to avoid him.
"Please tell me you're doing a double shift."
There's that smirk again. Jack shakes his head. "The day shift attending, Dr. Robinavitch, will take good care of you."
You can't help yourself. "I'm sure he will", you mumble under your breath.
Jack's eyebrows shoot up, his face screams 'I knew it was you'.
No point in lying now. You sit up, wincing at the movement. "Is there any way we could not tell Michael?"
Jack shakes his head, but fails to hide his smile. "I'm here for another 2 1/2 hours. Let's see if we can get you out of here until then."
You smile. "Deal."
It's time. No going back now.
You're all prepped for the procedure, warm liquid rushing through your veins. The meds are making you loopy, but they're keeping the anxiety at bay. Robby is beside you, clutching your clammy hand, eyes wide and distant.
You lean in, lightly tapping his forehead. "What's going on in there, doc?"
He blinks a few times, then closes the distance between you, giving you a quick peck on the lips.
You glance at him, eyebrows raised. Not an answer.
Robby sighs, "I just hate that you had to deal with this on your own."
You gives his hand a good squeeze. "I'm not alone."
That earns you a small smile. "I'm glad you think so, 'cause I'm not going anywhere."
Robby's kept his promise through all of this. Through sickness and health. The guilt of not letting him in sooner gnaws at you.
You gasp a few times, before catching your breath. "I was here in the ED when we first started dating." You're anxious for Robby's reaction. "The first time I met Jack. I didn't want you to know. And I snuck out before your shift. I'm sorry."
Robby exhales deeply. His eyes soften. It's not frustration, but... amusement? "I know."
"What? He told you!"
"No. No." Robby chuckles. "I work here. And I saw your name on the board. Jack stopped me from going in and making a scene."
The wheels are turning in your head. You think back to that night. "That's why you brought me food after your shift."
A smirk creeps onto his face. "What I can't bring my girlfriend food?"
"Wife." You correct.
"Don't demote her like that." Your moment is interrupted by Dr. Walsh, sharp-witted as ever. "We ready to do this, party people? I'm eager to chop up a uterus."
"Charming." Robby snorts.
You grin, though your hands are shaking. "Butcher me."
Robby runs his palm over his face, hiding a grimace. But Walsh... laughs. You don't dare tell her Jack gave you that line.
As they start wheeling you out, Robby places a gentle kiss on your lips. "I'll be here when you wake up."
You smile, trying your hardest it reaches your eyes.
If you wake up.
There's something heavy pressing on your chest. You blink but your eyes won't focus. A strange emptiness radiates from deep inside you. Like someone's rearranged your guts.
Right.
Major surgery. Jack. Walsh. Robby.
Where's Robby?
He promised...
Someone's talking, but the sound is muffled. You direct your full attention to the voice, gentle and soothing. You're far away, but it draws you in, pulling you further to the surface.
Your body is doing what it's supposed to. Adapting. Recovering. Healing. Though your mind is still playing catch-up.
"Open your eyes, baby." A familiar face finally comes into focus.
Robby.
You groan in response.
He tries again. "How bad?"
"6..." You huff out.
A sigh of relief escapes Robby's lips, like he's been released from a life sentence. "Good, that's good, angel." He lowers his head into your lap, careful not to put any weight on you, pressing his lips onto your lower abdomen over and over again.
"You'll be okay."
With your husband by your side and a new reality to welcome you, you realize some promises are forever.
Ahhh I might end up deleting this lmao this is waaay too personal, but I know some of you might relate, so lmk what you think ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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