A place for all the fandom fun that I don’t want on my main. To the tune of that one Spice Girls song “If you wanna be my blorbo, you gotta get with the war crimes”
“lucerys was a bastard”, about the same boy who idolized you and didn’t want to become lord of the tides because it meant you would be gone
“jacaerys lived and died as a bastard”, about the same boy who died defending your fleet
(and he even went after joffrey - the writers only remembered about him to shit on him)
all this to not give alicent one of her most famous lines, when she’s the one who spent a whole season condemning rhaenyra’s sons as bastards and hating them for being born
the only way to save this season/show is to go back in time and make sure it’s never made
also, vaemond got his head split in half for saying this, but i guess because daemon isn’t there rhaenyra won’t do shit bc she’s just a girl and can’t do anything by herself (not even protect her dead sons’ memories, apparently)
“speak again of bastardy, and i will have your tongue out”, i will mourn you until my last breath
and yes, the “did it make you feel better” line from helaena to rhaenyra about killing otto is indeed in there, and no idgaf that she was just curious, i gaf about the fact that rhaenyra wasn’t like “yes bicth it fucking did”
“my own father kept their plot from me”, glad to see we’re still pushing that little tale as if we didn’t hear him tell her aegon should be king after his birthday and before leaving for oldtown (and i'm willing to bet they spoke of it between episode 7 and 8 too), and as if we didn’t watch alicent tell aegon it was either usurpation or death - but no, none of that happened, so obv she had nothing to do with it
“so my position is such that i must hope for the capture and death of my son”… BRO YOU DID THIS, literally two episodes ago you manipulated him into going to harrenhal, knowing damn well you’d told rhaenyra where he would be and thinking she’d readied something for him there
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THEY DOING
i understand alicent wanting to rewrite history bc objectively what she actually did doesn’t make her look good (and it seems like helaena didn’t know about her selling aegon out, so wonder if they’ll address that, but i doubt it bc ofc), but why the fuck does rhaenyra not say a fucking word?
side note: i haven’t seen the whole episode, just random snippets here and there
I turned the sketch into a drawing. I really love drawing these idiots. New chapter should be up somewhere in the coming days, maybe today, maybe tomorrow, depends on how far I get with fine tuning the timeline ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
Scene from Chapter 2 of 'Oya'karir Jetiise' on AO3
What started as a small fun discussion about possible Jedi holidays developed into a loveable ever-growing monster called Dai Bendu Conlang.
The three of us decided to make a functional conlang for the Jedi Order, drawing from the bits of canon knowledge we have of Dai Bendu i.e. 3 words, and made up everything else on our own! We try to stay as close to canon as possible, but this is a fan project and our own interpretations come into it.
Our conlang is very much still in its infancy, but we have reached a point where we believe the best way that this language can grow is by exposing it to the wide world of nerds. We want to share our project with you and hope you’ll find our work interesting. We’d love for you to come talk to us about your thoughts concerning it! A language only grows when it is used.
Our dictionary is still limited, but we wanted it to expand naturally. We are actively adding new words. If you see a word missing, feel free to point it out and request it! Languages are inherently pragmatic, and we want Dai Bendu’s growth to reflect that. Our grammar is more polished, but still incomplete; any questions you ask will help us move to a higher level of completion.
This language is baby. Our baby. We put a lot of work into it and are excited to share it! If you want to make use of it in your fanfiction or other media, feel free to do so, we only ask to be credited.
That being said, have fun and enjoy!
Eno Dai veshah keelel mellu im tamah foh veshah keelel!
Intrusive thoughts. Also knows as the AU dumpster fire.
Au where Obi-wan was alive nearly 700 years before cannon. During a mission as a padwan he goes missing and no one can find him.
Now jump forward to roughly 52 BBY (look. I get its not the correct format for the time period, but this ones less confusing for me, im rrly bad with numbers).
Near the edge of wild space an old shipwreck is found by scrappers and pulled in. Deep in the bowels of the ship they find a child sealed in carbonite. They thaw the poor kid out and oh, its a baby jedi. A feral baby jedi. They call up the jedi Coruscant temple like "we found ur kid."
No one knows who tf this kid is. Except thats not true. All eyes snap to Yoda when he croaks "Ah, young Kenobi. Wonder what happened to you I did. Thought you ran off with Mandalorians."
Turns out Obi-wan and Yoda were Padwans together. Obi-wan went missing after a vision sent him off to look for a certain line of sith.
"Oh. Wow. You got old Yoda. Hey, did you guys ever catch that sith I told you about?"
"Sith no more, there are."
"So no. You can't ignore my visions forever toad."
"Grandmaster of the order I am. Toad I will not be referred to as anymore Obi-wan."
"Have you stopped hunting the frogs in the fountains?"
Yoda refuses to answer.
"I didn't think so. Anyway, there should only be 2 sith right now, shouldn't be too hard to find. Hey can I come stay with you?"
When he gets to the temple there is a giant scandal about where this random padwan came from. Yoda sighs and takes Obi-wan as his own just to try and keep him from telling embarrassing stories of yoda as a padwan. It doesn't work. Obi-wan Loves to embarrass his old friend.
(If someone actually wants to write this go ahead)
Faith’s creepy disconnected ghost phones are one of my favorite things in FC5.
(Video and locations)
I only became more versed in Henbane after my first playthrough where I was visiting all the landmarks in the game, and now this reblog that included a non-implemented ghost phone jumped out to me strongly:
“Death doesn't frighten me. I'm free of my tethers now. Unbound by the judgment of others. Even as Faith, I was under the consuming eyes of the world. Child, whore, Madonna... I am so much more than all of that now. You could never grasp it. And you'll die before you get the chance.”
(Deleted dialogue)
We see in another ghost phone dialogue she discarded the persona of Rachel intentionally and with disdain, and now she is discarding the persona of Faith to become… what?
This feels a related to what Holmes said he intended for the character as lead writer, yet another Faith that Joseph made his sister-wife but who he was now coming to fear:
“Like most cult leaders, Joseph took advantage of all his followers. His relationship with the Faith you meet in the game was very similar to the others. This Faith was probably more fanatical and loyal to him… Though I think he was probably frightened of her and saw her as someone with the potential to take over the cult from him.”
(Source ; see also discussion with u/lulu2992 about the final cut of the game which made some alterations to Joseph’s characterization and left his exact relationship to Faith unexplored.)
I in fact doubt this new persona would have as much need for Joseph as the lost-child-now-fanatic-and-sadistic-woman who had been living for years as his new Faith.
I can see why it would be removed. There’s a line you always see in academics saying such and such is “beyond the scope of this paper.”
Faith and Joseph’s relationship was beyond the scope of 5, which seems from all the deleted content I've read in total to have been pared down to developing a relationship between the player and each of the Seeds.
But then this is why I love Henbane so much, because despite John and Jacob getting winnowed down Henbane remains about Faith and Tracey. She alone bested the narrative.
John and Mary May’s plotline was chopped away. What do you mean there was a mission called “FIND John and Mary May’s secrets”?
(Changes and Deleted Content Part 2)
Hey! Mary May matters a LOT more to me than a no-dialogue-murder-machine PC after I read a whole novel developing those two’s twisted relationship that wasn’t paid off!
In Jacob’s zone Staci’s dialogue portraying him as a converted lieutenant was cut as well as a greater role for Eli, etc
But then the Collapse writers utterly dropped the ball on Faith and wrote an unrelated character partly based on the then-incorrect wiki while doing an alright job with Jacob and John, I feel like I’m in purgatory about this character.
In the end her awesome and lost potential is haunting me the longest after my late discovery of the game.
Honestly? The concept of bby Jango just going "you know what? Fuck you!" *holds up Toddler Of Dire Prophecy to speak some sort of Cursed Future into existence(presumably)* is just? So? On brand for him?
Toddler Obi-Wan having a GREAT time! Meeting so many new people! Uppies! Yaaaaay! Meanwhile JANGO is loving this sweet new "actually, fuck off and die maybe?" Final trump card he now possesses. VERY 10 year old of him.
Jaster is probably like "pls. Son. Pls give back the tiny adorable cursed baby. You can't keep him." "But I wanna! We bonded! He does tricks!" "Sweetie, he's not a strill."
*twitchy, feral Jedi Temple Guard LOOMING in the background here to retrieve their STOLEN BABY CHILD* 👁👁🔪
A jangobi family fic recommendation READ ALL TAGS BEFORE READING ANYTHING
I really enjoyed ’A Change of Plans’ by kj_FeyBarn, I love a good emotional manipulation, and Boba taking after his Dad in how to get what he wants is always fun!
I really think the idea of Jango roping in Obi-wan and Boba trying to dance around the clone army in the room so interesting. And it’s even more interesting when Obi-wan is like the fuck you think you can dictate who I care about, if I care about Boba I care about them all.
Special Delivery by sparkly_Seagull also very good!!
For more aquirred omegaverse tatses Packed together like test tubes is quick and good!
Oo Where we’re finding home by Shyowl is great fun!! Baby luke too!!
And round off with Forget about your House of cards by Kutaisi
There’s a few others I haven’t listed but browsing the obi-wan & Boba fett tag has gems!
But yous don’t get all my gems because then you will say “worm it is very obvious your are a freak” and that is true but this should be enough for now!
Assorted Star Wars fics, completely different ships and characters but I can really recommend them all so do check them out even if it's not your usual pairing! From shortest to longest, no archive warnings apply unless one is stated:
The Point Cloud Reliquary by davaia
9k, rated T, Qui-Gon Jinn/Obi-Wan Kenobi
In which Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knight and Deputy Field Director for the Division of Historic and Archival Resources on Coruscant, misses breakfast, documents a very old temple, drinks quite a lot of tea, and encounters a curious piece of antiquated technology.
As We Speak, I Give Myself Away by MusicSoul1982
12k, rated E, 212th Attack Battalion/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Fluff and Smut
Some of Stewjon’s citizens have evolved vocal cords that allow them to make noises that would otherwise be impossible for those of a different species. Things like a chirp, purr, or even a trill can be a sign of many things. Although rare, these involuntary signs can have many meanings… Still, Obi-Wan hadn't been expecting his own men to be the ones to draw the noise out of him.
Or: snapshots into Obi-Wan and the 212th Attack Batallion's day-to-day life, culminating in them finding each other through a series of slightly mortifying, definitely embarrassing, noises that escape Obi-Wan's mouth when he's excited or turned on.
Safe passage by WhisperingDarkness @whisperingdarknesswrites
Obi-Wan took a deep breath and did his best to press the anxiety he was feeling away. His hands were steady as he adjusted the settings of the communcation set-up of the small vessel he was currently piloting. He purposefully set the comm to audio only on his side. He hadn't been a padawan for long, but if there was one thing he'd learned during his missions with Master Jinn, it was that it was rare for anyone, especially politicians, to take a padawan seriously.
He assumed the same held true for the leader of an enemy empire.
The Manda Provides by BoliTheSenate
15k rated T, Time Travel Fix-It
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Korkie has been talking to the Manda basically since he could think.
His friends are pretty much used to it by now. Though when he barges in on them proclaiming that the should go back in time to save one Jaster Mereel from being killed by Deathwatch, they are sceptical. At first.
But the Manda always provides, and soon they are running around, blowing up Deathwatch shit, stuffing people into 'freshers, adopting tookas and other small and medium sized creatures and wreaking havoc on the timeline in general.
The Manda is very happy about it.
The Accidental Mandalorian Empire by Triskellion
23+k, rated M, Jango Fett/Obi-Wan Kenobi
Active wip, I have a summary of previous chapters here!
Or: "Oops, Kyr'tsad was supposed to be the empire builders."
Obi-Wan Kenobi knows he is meant to be a Jedi Knight. He has been telling everyone else this, following the will of the Force, and still getting stomped on by life. Well, the Senate of all krififng things sending him as tribute to the Mandalorian Empire, leaders unknown, sounds like another swift kick to the balls. But maybe, just maybe, Obi-Wan is about to end up where he should have been.
Those Who Walk The Paths Of The Sky (Must Learn To Fly) by antebunny
25k, rated G, Found Family, Padmé Amidala/Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader
In which Leia is seven when her only friend Dijan dies. Her grief tears apart the shields Obi-Wan Kenobi put up on her mind to hide her adeptness with the Force, and is felt by two other residents in the galaxy: her father and her brother.
Or: The Skywalkers have a mental conversation from opposite sides of the galaxy because they're Skywalkers. It also changes the course of the galaxy, but that's just to be expected.
The Story of Finn by LullabyKnell
26k, rated T, Rebellion, Stormtrooper culture
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
The story they hear is that of FN-2187.
He's a defector – a traitor to the First Order. He's not the first, nor will he be the last, and the First Order expects to retrieve him and end him quickly.
But that's not what happens.
The only thing Stormtroopers own are stories.
Why We Did Nothing by BairnSidhe
37k, rated M, original characters
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, discussion of child murder, discussion of genocide, generational trauma, slavery
A Mandalorian and an EduCorps Historian walk into a bar. The Mandalorian starts a fight. The Historian starts a lesson. The conversation starts a realization, a reckoning, and a revolution.
‘The Wayseeking Seeker’ by RoosjeM
40k, rated M, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Jaster Mereel, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
“Mandalorian kids?” Quinlan wore a deep frown on his face, knowing how troublesome that was for the Republic. “Fine. But don’t come crying to me when things go wrong.” They both knew Quinlan would be the first to aid Obi-Wan should things go wrong.
Or: Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi had been a Seeker for about six years when he was called in to aid the Shadows in their mission. His past just happens to catch up and refuses to let him go a second time.
and all the stars that shine by FormlessVoidbeast @formlessvoidbeast
66k, rated E, Jango Fett/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Palpatine dies, canon-divergence
A long long time ago, in a somewhat kinder galaxy far away...
An unnamed Jedi's timely warning prevents the tragedy of Galidraan. Mand'alor Jango Fett, considering himself to have a life-debt to the Jedi, offers safety and sanctuary to Obi-Wan and the Kryze sisters during the Clan Wars. Obi-Wan falls in love: first with Mandalore, and then the Mand'alor. Two of the most capable warrior cultures begin to stop seeing each other as enemies.
The galaxy slowly turns onto a better path than the endless cycle of tragedies that is canon.
stars sing my name, scars tell my story by independent_variables and there's a place for us by be_brave13 @independent-variables @djemsowhat
71k, rated T, Slavery, Fix-it, Clone Wars
Anakin wasn’t sure how to ask, so he didn't. Instead, he waited until Master Kenobi fell asleep and stayed up to tinker in the dark, building his own scanner out of parts stolen from the trash. The chip was in his right thigh.
Cody understood that the people had chosen him to stand up for them as the leader of this planet. They looked to him and saw their planet’s glory resting on his shoulders. He didn’t feel fit for the job, uneasy and uncertain under his skin, but the vode had put their faith in him.
The Frozen Mand'alor by falconer54
84k, rated T, Jaster Mereel, Tarre Vizsla, Jango Fett, Jocasta Nu, Dooku, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Members of the Young of Melida | Daan, Obi-Wan Kenobi Has a Different Jedi Master
Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Because I didn't read it in one go I wrote little summaries for each part as a memory aid!
Jaster Mereel accepts a job from a university with a payment of repatriating a Mandalorian in carbonite. He doesn't expect who it is.
Obi-wan and Anakin bond over being former child-slaves without names and/or families who other Jedi seem to be kinda wary of, so they act as average as possible with mixed results.
The miscommunication is worse than in canon but it's fine.
do or do not by itsthechocopuff
100+k, rated G-M, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Dooku
active WIP series! best read the individual stories Not the first compiled part of the series as it is missing bits and pieces
When Obi-Wan dies by Anakin's hand, he expects that to be the end. It is not.
When he opens his eyes again, all of thirteen but with forty extra years of experience, not even the dust, dread, and death on Melidaan can stand in his way. Obi-Wan had seen the worst that the galaxy had to offer twice over - he'll be damned if he lets everything happen the same way for the second time.
Enter one Jedi Master Yan Dooku, the lynchpin to so many of the galaxy's darkest turns in the future-that-was. Torn between a Master who doesn't seem to want him and a man wearing the face of the Sith who had once tortured him, Obi-Wan makes a choice.
Everything changes.
Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi by stonefreeak @stonefreeak
141k, rated T, Crack Treated Seriously
Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Active wip series! I have a summary of previous chapters so I know where I'm at when it updates here!
By an old Republic law, all members of the Jedi High Council are senators in the Galactic Senate, and can thus be voted in as chancellor. A Senator from a less prominent planet has had enough of Chancellor Palpatine's incompetence and calls for a Vote of No-Confidence and the installation of Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi as Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic.
This one action becomes the catalyst that changes the direction of the galaxy.
Or: “Obi-Wan’s Life Gets Worse (Though It’s Not As Bad As It Could’ve Been)”.
We’re Working on that Grave Shift, Baby by sequeltolife
145k, rated E, Din Djarin/Jaster Mereel, Din Djarin & Grogu, Time Travel Fix-It
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
I made a header and wrote a summary of this a while back
Din doesn't want to be Mand'alor. The Darksaber, that definitely does not whisper to him in the middle of the night, refuses to leave his hand. When Din is finally presented a chance to rid himself of it, promised to a Mandalorian he has never met yet it yearns for him, Din doesn't hesitate to make a deal...
He doesn't read the fine print, gets flung through space and time, goes through puberty twice as a result, and crash lands at a pivotal point in Jaster Mereel's Journeyman Protector career. Jaster has thoughts about this. Maybe too many thoughts.
Time-travel fix-it: Din Djarin wakes up days before the Clone Wars begin, and embarks on a quest to save his child, find his allies, and figure out what the hell he's supposed to do with this stupid lasersword that ended up coming with him. If it's convenient, he figures he might as well try to save his people, maybe the Jedi, and probably the galaxy. With the help of his friends, it might just be within reach.
“Are you going to kill me right here, Mand’alor?” Obi-Wan manages.
Fett freezes, his hold loosening, and shoves away from him as if burned, getting to his feet. Obi-Wan coughs, looks up to where the man is watching him with some strange mix of emotion. His shields are exceptionally strong, for a null.
“There is no Mand’alor,” Fett says finally, and walks right out of the room.
(Or: 15-year-old Jedi Padawan Anakin Skywalker crash-lands on Kamino on the one day a cycle when the seas are calm and the storms abate. At the time, he doesn’t think much of it. Later—much later—he will come to see it as an omen.)
Knives and Spices by Argentee, Mikaiyawa @jehanneargentee @mikaiyawa
411k, rated G-E, fix-it, original characters
Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
A Cajun chef and a cargo hold of other humans are captured by Aliens. Zygerrian slavers. Turns out that Star Wars is real, George Lucas had visions, and it's the middle of the Clone Wars.
Of course, the visions scrambled the order of things, people look nothing like the actors cast for them, and humans do not domesticate well. Still, how much trouble can a few humans cause?
Active wip series! It's a bit chaotic, I sorted the parts into a reading order here.
On the way to Korda VI, a minor supplies error forces Jaster Mereel to make an unplanned pitstop on the closest planet, Melida/Daan. That changes everything.
Or: Mandalorians on Melidaan merit mayhem.
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more recs • 2024 recs • more Star Wars • more fic recs
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If you want to reblog a version without the readmore cut it's here, and one where all fics are hidden under a readmore is here!
turnnoffyourmind
andulkaphoto
tangentwithtanner
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