Saved

[adamsrcnan]

i'm so i'm soooo obsessed with the idea of jean being so hungry, deprived, and desperate for jeremy. just so much pent up need and want for him bubbling over that when they first kiss jean is diving lips first and bodying jeremy against a wall. smacking their heads together a little, jeremy letting out a soft "oof" that jean swallows. teeth clicking, spit on chins because it's so messy and jean just wants all of jeremy. every little inch of his mouth. and he's so tense because he's so nervous, his hands almost ripping jeremy's shirt to shreds in his desperation to hold on with a white knuckled grip.

and jeremy, breath caught in his throat, huffs out a laugh into jean's mouth. he lets jean do his thing before cupping his jaw and slowly easing him back until there's a fraction of distance, a tiny web of saliva connecting their bottom lips. but jeremy is smiling, beaming, his jaw aching a little from how wide he opened his mouth to welcome jean in. but it's a good ache. the best ache. he smooths his lips against jean's and exhales a soft "like this, jean" and then pecks jean's lips. once. twice. three times. the fourth is a longer press. so is the fifth. it's more audible too. on the sixth jean presses back. his eyes aren't clenched shut anymore, but they aren't open either. and the tension is seeping out of his jaw under jeremy's fingertips.

jeremy tilts his head and goes in again, this time taking jean's upper lip between his own and sucking softly, letting jean take his bottom lip. jeremy breathes out through his nose and moans very softly. then it's a little peek of the tongue, tasting jean's lips. jeremy pulls back. smiles wide. does it again. and again. jean copies him. then, because jeremy has timed it perfectly, both their tongues catch each other and it's a delicious warm wet slide that has jean sighing so beautifully against jeremy he feels it in his own body. and so they do it again. and again. a little faster. a little more frantic. until oxygen is inevitably needed. but jeremy can't stop smiling and he can't stop pecking jean's lips while he catches his breath. and jean doesn't stop him either. won't stop him. not then. not ever.

[adamsrcnan]

the potential of jerejean having a little secret relationship phase where they keep it to themselves and they're like furiously kissing each other in the apartment when the girls are away and the door opens and they have to break apart so fast and fix themselves but jeremy is always left super flustered after. jean is moving to greet the girls and jeremy is just standing there, hand on his stomach and over his mouth trying to compose himself and he's sooo caught up staring at jean he doesn't hear what anyone says to him for a hot minute and this happens so many times!!!

them kissing in the locker rooms and jean having jeremy pressed up against his locker but they hear the chatter of their team coming and jean is across the room to the backliners side so FAST while jeremy is slumped against his locker. everyone seems him and is like "cap you okay?" and jeremy is just biting his lip and nodding his head like "mmhm yeah" his cheeks sooo flushed and red and his clothes all ruffled aaaahhh !!

but also give me cracks in jean's composure like him going up against jeremy in practice and planning to check him, having every intention to drop him to the floor but jeremy stumbles and jean catches him instinctively around the waist and everyone freezes like???? bc jean never goes easy on anyone. to make matters worse he can't help himself when he lets go of jeremy, his big ass hand smoothes over his waist and stomach and jeremy like forgets where he is for a whole second. and jean has to shake his hand out to forget the feel of how solid jeremy's stomach is. or like on the team benches they'll sit sooo close. like thigh to thigh and they'll start sharing everything !!! or jean's arm will rest on the back of jeremy's seat in the library or if they go out to eat at a restaurant. everyone will look at it and then look away because jean and jeremy have always lingered in each other's space but they've never been pressed up this close. practically walking into each other, hands swaying so close. or OR they'll be playing footsie under the table and jeremy will accidentally get someone else's leg and they'll be like "jere?!?!?" and jean will have to look away to hide his smile as jeremy stutters through and apology before jean's right back there hooking his ankle around jeremy's

[adamsrcnan]

something about the progression of jerejean sharing a bed together till they get to full on cuddling.

first it's just them sharing the space, not touching, only facing each other and getting used to the warmth and feel of another body beside you.

then slowly they'll gravitate closer. they still won't totally touch but it's close enough that jean will feel every twitch from jeremy and every puff of warm breath as he exhales.

then it's small touches. jean holding jeremy's wrist while he sleeps feeling jeremy's pulse under his thumb. then it will be a foot hooked over an ankle and heads pressed together.

then. jeremy will start as the little spoon in the sense that he'll roll over naturally and jean will gravitate towards him unknowingly until he wakes pressed up against his back. it's the heat that's a little overbearing for him until he comes to his senses and feels skin on skin. the backs of jeremy's thighs and calves stuck to the front of jean's. and he'll tense a little out of habit but he'll settle a lot faster than he used to because it's jeremy. his hand feels a little numb where it's curled over jeremy's hip and jean doesn't remember doing it but he's a little afraid to move it in case it wakes jeremy up but also if he does move he might just hold onto him tighter and he's afraid of what that might make him feel as well. but then jeremy wakes and shifts and stretches and he nudges jean by accident and freezes for a second because it's just as new for him too. jean will feel jeremy hesitate and then his hand really will tighten of its own accord to reassure jeremy to stay where he is. that it's okay. that he wants him there. and then jean will nudge his forehead against the ruffle of hair at the back of jeremy's skull and jeremy will relax into it and they'll stay like that for a while.

then they'll try it facing each other, legs tangled and foreheads pressed together until one day jean realises he wants more. there's too much distance so he pulls a sleepy jeremy closer and by this point they're so much better with it that jeremy doesn't stiffen or startle he just sinks into jean's chest like he's meant to be there. they barely move or shuffle around that night just content and deeply rested together that way.

then finally one night jean will get into bed and jeremy will already be laying down and jean will hesitate bc he's been thinking about it a lot. jeremy hugs him from behind so often these days and jean used to get skittish from it but now he's never felt safer than when jeremy's at his back. and he thinks and thinks and thinks and realises he wants to feel like that in bed too. he wants jeremy to hold him. so jean will lie down facing away from jeremy but he'll reach back and drag his arm over until it's settled over his chest and jeremy's will slowly inch closer but not too close. but then jean will whisper his name just a simple sleepy "jeremy" bc he's already feeling so content and relaxed. and jeremy will get it. he'll understand and he'll press close and kiss jean's shoulder blade and thumb over his chest where his heart is and hold him like he's the only thing that matters. and well once they get there, they don't ever go back.

[adamsrcnan]

jerejean smiling into kisses with each other but this time it's jean who smiles first !! he and jeremy are kissing it's very sweet and simple. just gentle pecks and slow sliding of their lips and jeremy makes a little noise a very quiet sigh and jean's eyes flicker open just a smidge and he looks down at jeremy and it's almost like second nature. he doesn't even think about it before his lips twitch and then he leans forward and pecks jeremy's lips with a little more pressure and pulls back to watch jeremy's eyelids flutter and it makes him smile wider and so he does it again only this time he brushes over jeremy's cheeks with both his thumbs and jeremy makes a noise again this time a little whine that sounds like jean's name as he moves in chasing jean's mouth. and jean lets him come forward but by now his smile is stretching across his whole face because jeremy is so pretty and he's so lovely and kissing him feels right and safe. and he keeps watching him through heavy lidded eyes and brushing over his cheeks until jeremy presses forward again stumbling into jean's space to get closer their chests bumping against one another and it makes jean laugh and he chuckles against jeremy's mouth now fumbling the kiss but jeremy isn't fazed and he doesn't pull back he just smiles too. big and bright and then their lips are clumsily sliding over one another as they struggle to hold back their grins and kiss at the same time until jean can't handle it anymore and he just has to pull away to bury his smile into that warm space where jeremy's shoulder meets his neck

[adamsrcnan]

I was thinking about how Jean has probably never heard the words "i love you" said to him before, or at least maybe not in a very long time (the only person i could think of who would have said it is Elodie)

So then I started thinking what if Jean has such a visceral reaction to hearing it from Jeremy for the first time that it actually makes him cry. Even more so because when Jeremy does say it, it kind of just slips out soft and gentle and so casually.

So like one day what if they're just sitting on Jean's bed making out very soft and sweetly. Jeremy smiles against Jean's lips and the words are out before he can really think about it. It's more like a breathy sigh, an exhalation of a confession that Jeremy doesn't even hesitate to reveal. But Jean freezes regardless. Jeremy pulls back instantly to find Jean staring at him a little lost, wild look in his eyes.

So very quietly, Jean asks, "What did you just say?"

Jeremy smiles lazily at him, more than happy to repeat the sentiment. "I said, I love you."

Jean swallows hard and clenches his eyes shut, holding tight to Jeremy's shirt he thinks 'This is a dream. I'll wake up. It'll just be another day and this is just another unrealistic impossible dream'. But when he opens his eyes Jeremy is still there in front of him, except now his mouth is turned down and there's a pinch between his brows.

"Jean? Something wrong?" he asks.

Jean shakes his head, his breath stuttering as he asks, again, "What did you say?" This time it sounds little more strangled and it feels like his throat is slowly closing up. Jeremy's so close and Jean is suddenly so hyper aware of every part of him - his warm tanned skin, his freckles, his soft t-shirt and shorts, his bare feet and ankles crossed in front of him, his messy hair, the shell necklace around his throat.

Jeremy's confused now as he repeats his words, "I asked if something is wrong."

Jean's grey eyes search his brown ones, frantically, desperately. "N-no. Before that," he chokes out.

"That I love you?" Jeremy says again. And Jean thinks, there's no air left. There's no air left in his lungs. How is he saying those words? Like that? Like it's easy.

It takes Jeremy a second to connect the dots between Jean's questioning and his now obvious slow decline into distress. But something shifts in his eyes and he says it again. "I love you, Jean."

Jean's breath hitches in his throat and his heart is now pounding mercilessly under his chest. There's something growing inside him. Something familiar and scary, that usually he'd grab hold of and rip out like a tenacious stubborn weed, so it can't grow back.

But it does.

And this thing inside him, this particular thing, he suspects has been burrowing itself down, digging roots deep into him for a while. So much so that he's not sure he can ever pull it out now. Or that he'll need to.

Then something wet drips down his chin, and it's only when Jeremy reaches up with hesitating fingers to swipe across his cheek that he realises he's crying. His eyes slip closed and he feels Jeremy move closer as he tries and fails to wipe Jean's unrelenting tears that keep spilling down his cheeks. It's as bad as when Cat makes him cut up onions. It just won't stop.

"Hey, hey what's wrong? Should I not have said it? I'm sorry. It just slipped out I won't say it again if-"

This thing growing inside him, whatever it is, bends towards Jeremy's voice like a flower in the sun.

"No," Jean chokes out, cutting Jeremy off. "Say it again. Please." The last word whispered, the sound torn desperately from his lips like a prayer.

Jeremy's quiet before he leans forward and presses his forehead to Jean's. His breath hitting Jean's cheek, he says "I love you." He kisses Jean's forehead. "I love you." Then his cheeks "I love you. I love you." His nose. "I love you." His temples. "I love you." He pauses at Jean's mouth and Jean tilts his own chin up so their lips are just brushing. His breath is still shaky, but each declaration from Jeremy is like a mouthful of air.

Jeremy says so quietly, only for the two of them to hear, "I love you, Jean Moreau." Then Jean is pressing their lips together, with a renewed burst of something. He kisses Jeremy fierce and deep and when he pulls away he whispers it against his mouth too. Finding himself unsurprised by how steadily the words leave his own lips.

That thing inside him, it seems to sag in relief. He's felt those three words for a while. A long while, but now he's secure in the knowledge that it's safe to say them back. "I love you too," he tells Jeremy. It's the first time Jean has heard it from anyone in a long long time, but he already knows he'll never tire from hearing it. It's also the first time he can remember saying it out loud too. And he finds he likes the way it sounds falling from his mouth.

(it's not long before he starts saying it in French. And when he does, he doesn't go back)

[adamsrcnan]

i just think that jerejean's first kiss should be soooo heavy and weighted and drawn out like i want them to be so close in each other's space and for jeremy's eyes to be fixed on jean's mouth. for him to slowly lick his lips and then for jean to just gently take jeremy's chin in his fingers and tilt his head up so he looks jean in the eyes. i want jeremy to blink so softly while jean's eyes search his with a silent question of "may i?" and jeremy's eyes to brighten in response while his pupils dilate and he nods ever so slightly. then jean leans in and he's so hesitant because he doesn't really know what to do here (he's never had a proper first kiss). jeremy's eyes slip closed when jean's thumb lifts and brushes against the corner of his mouth now and he can feel his breath against his cheek. and jean is lost staring at the freckles scattered over jeremy's cheeks and his nose and his light brown eyelashes brushing against his skin and then jeremy lets out a breathy "jean". and then jean is pressing his lips against jeremy's and it's a little clumsy, maybe a little harsher than it needs to be, the force of it knocking jeremy off balance that he lets out a little noise of surprise and stumbles back. but jean's hand is there in a second spread flat against the small of jeremy's back and pulling him closer. and jeremy's hands are fisted in jean's shirt and he lifts one to jean's cheek and jean jumps a little at the contact. but then he relaxes into jeremy's palm as jeremy strokes his jaw and takes control of the kiss. making it lighter and softer and jean sighs into it. jeremy feels it deep in his chest because it's the most pleasant sound jeremy has ever heard coming from jean. because he's heard him whimper when he's having nightmares, he's heard him grunting when he takes a hit on the court, he's heard the way his breath stutters and he sounds like he's choking when he's trying so hard not to panic when he's triggered. but he's never heard him sound this soft and relaxed before and he can't wait to keep making him sound this way. and it hits him so hard he has to pull back a little to catch his breath and jean's eyes are closed, his eyebrows furrowed and he looks like he's a little in pain or scared to open his eyes. they're pressed so close jeremy can feel the way his heart is racing and he nudges jean's nose with his own. and jean's eyes flash open and he looks down at jeremy like he's seeing him for the first time and jeremy smiles really wide then and jean's lips twitch and his cheeks lift and he's smiling too. jeremy laughs and then they're both leaning in again and this time it's better, more gentle, more passionate and neither one can get enough and everything starts and stops where their mouths meet. and jeremy doesn't really care what happens to him next because now he knows how it feels to kiss jean moreau and nothing is going to get better than this anyway. while jean feels his heart lurch in his chest in the most pleasant way and he thinks that maybe he's a little glad he's still breathing and still here because now he knows how it feels to truly feel alive and be loved.

[adamsrcnan]

the potential of jerejean having a little secret relationship phase where they keep it to themselves and they're like furiously kissing each other in the apartment when the girls are away and the door opens and they have to break apart so fast and fix themselves but jeremy is always left super flustered after. jean is moving to greet the girls and jeremy is just standing there, hand on his stomach and over his mouth trying to compose himself and he's sooo caught up staring at jean he doesn't hear what anyone says to him for a hot minute and this happens so many times!!!

them kissing in the locker rooms and jean having jeremy pressed up against his locker but they hear the chatter of their team coming and jean is across the room to the backliners side so FAST while jeremy is slumped against his locker. everyone seems him and is like "cap you okay?" and jeremy is just biting his lip and nodding his head like "mmhm yeah" his cheeks sooo flushed and red and his clothes all ruffled aaaahhh !!

but also give me cracks in jean's composure like him going up against jeremy in practice and planning to check him, having every intention to drop him to the floor but jeremy stumbles and jean catches him instinctively around the waist and everyone freezes like???? bc jean never goes easy on anyone. to make matters worse he can't help himself when he lets go of jeremy, his big ass hand smoothes over his waist and stomach and jeremy like forgets where he is for a whole second. and jean has to shake his hand out to forget the feel of how solid jeremy's stomach is. or like on the team benches they'll sit sooo close. like thigh to thigh and they'll start sharing everything !!! or jean's arm will rest on the back of jeremy's seat in the library or if they go out to eat at a restaurant. everyone will look at it and then look away because jean and jeremy have always lingered in each other's space but they've never been pressed up this close. practically walking into each other, hands swaying so close. or OR they'll be playing footsie under the table and jeremy will accidentally get someone else's leg and they'll be like "jere?!?!?" and jean will have to look away to hide his smile as jeremy stutters through and apology before jean's right back there hooking his ankle around jeremy's

[adamsrcnan]

nora give me the 'jeremy fixing jean's tie' scene again but this time they've already confessed their feelings and had their first kiss. since that moment jean's been unable to think about anything else except kissing jeremy. and there he is, standing right in front of jean, hands at his collar while he fixes jean's tie into place. jeremy's bottom lip is caught between his teeth while he concentrates on looping the tie and jean wants to feel that softness in his own mouth. so, in a silent request, jean rests his forefinger under jeremy's chin and lifts his head up so he's looking at jean and not the tie. jeremy stares up at him, innocently curious waiting for jean to ask or say what he wants to say. instead jean just stares into jeremy's brown eyes then flicks his gaze down to jeremy's lips. jeremy parts them when jean brushes his thumb over his chin and traces the line of jeremy's bottom lip (corner to corner, back and forth). while continuing to do so jean looks back up to jeremy's eyes. sucks in a breath and goes "jeremy can i-" he's immediately cut off by a "YES." jean gets out one little amused puff of breath before jeremy's surging up to meet him for a kiss. and that's it. that's what sets it in stone. from that day onwards any time jean lifts jeremy's chin to get his attention jeremy knows to expect a request for a kiss.

[adamsrcnan]

i was thinking about the possibility of jeremy getting into a car accident because of his exhaustion. and jean and the girls not being allowed to immediately see him because his mother would go all "only family" on them. but jean would refuse to budge from the hospital. like he would sit in the corridor outside jeremy's room and not move.

jeremy's mother would come and go pretending jean and the girls aren't there, but they are. warren doesn't care except to know jeremy is alive and how much damage control he has to do. joshua is silent. bryson doesn't visit and only makes a nasty comment to their mother that she's going to have to have the rehab facility's number ready because you know... the pills. annalise would visit but it would be a hard thing for her and she'd spot jean always there and give him a curious look.

cat and laila would try to get jean to at least leave to eat and sleep and shower but jean's not moving. he'd call neil and ask him in quiet french "how did you do it?" or "they won't let me see him". the whole time inside he'd be so torn, so hurt and scared and in shock because surely not jeremy. it couldn't be jeremy. he's the sunshine captain of the sunshine court. and though his life is not as sunny as jean may have imagined, things like this aren't meant to happen to people like him.

but it's been days since jean's seen his face, his smile. and he won't leave until he sees it again. rhemann would eventually have to step in and argue jean and the girls' case to let them see how jeremy's doing. jeremy's mother would frown her disapproval and jean would stare her down from behind rhemann's back with tired angry eyes until she finally relents and when jean gets a look at jeremy ...oh boy.

he's never seen jeremy look so small there in the hospital bed, scratches and stitches on his pretty face, hair a mess, so still and straight. jean's first thought is "he doesn't sleep like this. he doesn't sleep this neat on his back, arms by his side. he's always spread wide and wild. mouth open, drool on the pillow, foot hanging out the covers" it's wrong. it's all wrong.

cat and laila are immediately at jeremy's side, laila smoothing out his hair and cat pressing a kiss to the back of one of jeremy's limp hands. both of them silently teary. even rhemann is so quiet at jean's side. but jean can't take his eyes off jeremy's face. the entire time he stands by his feet, gaze locked on jeremy, willing him to wake up.

they all stay as long as they're able to and when it's time to leave jean is the last one out and they all give him a second alone. he wants to touch jeremy, the way cat and laila did, but he's afraid he'll hurt him so he settles for resting a finger over his pulse on the inside of jeremy's wrist so he can feel it beat. over the sound of the monitors, louder than their beeping. he can feel his warm skin, and he'll let his eyes slip closed for a second just to concentrate on that pulse, to know jeremy is alive.

then he'll get all angry and say something in french like "i'll never forgive you for this" because he didn't listen, jeremy didn't fucking listen when they told him to stay the night because he was tired. but jean doesn't mean it. not really. and then he'll say something like "you're not going home with that woman" because he won't allow it. if it's the last thing he does. they'll 100% argue about it when jeremy wakes up and jean viciously hopes jeremy is ready to lose. and maybe now his whole hand is wrapped around jeremy's slender wrist like he's already refusing to let him walk away and out the door of his Real Home. with jean, cat, laila, and jab.

when he's got no choice but to finally leave he'll leave with a brush of his finger over jeremy's knuckles and comment about how jab is missing jeremy and he's chewed up the shoes he left behind, or the string of one of his hoodies, or shorts, and it's jeremy's problem now because he left.

when jean's out the room feeling unsettled and sick that he can't stay until jeremy wakes, he thinks about the people he's lost. he thinks about how much time he wasted being afraid to say anything or change anything, only to almost lose jeremy anyway. he keeps a hand over his chest, and thinks about how it's been aching non stop since they got the call. so loud and haunting. he thinks about how jeremy is the one person he can't let slip away.

then all of a sudden it makes sense. why years down the line jean will always let jeremy sleep in or nap whenever and wherever he needs to. because he's never taking that chance again.

[adamsrcnan]

hey so i'm thinking about jerejean's first kiss again and like what if jean, who has so desperately waited to be loved back, who has fought so hard to deny himself anything he's ever felt for another person, who has lost that battle time and again because no matter how much he does deny it, he can't ever stop himself from falling so deep, who craves softness and kindness, who falls for beautiful and kind people that are gentle with him. what if that jean, who has been aching for love for so long, what if he gets just the smallest taste of jeremy's mouth under his, nothing more than a gentle brush of lips, just a quiet and shy peck of a kiss. what if he feels that warmth, what if it spreads throughout his body, swirls in his stomach, rushes up through his chest, pushes itself up his throat and comes out as a small little frustrated huff a little strangled whine at the back of his throat, so low and so quick that jeremy might have missed it if he wasn't so close to jean's mouth right now before jean dives in and consumes him whole. his mouth crashing into jeremy's to desperately get more more more because now that he's had a taste, now that he's allowed, now that he's found someone like jeremy who is kind and gentle and sweet and beautiful and wants him too, he is so tired of holding back

[adamsrcnan]

kind of obsessed with the thought of jerejean having their moment and possibly even a shy first kiss before jeremy leaves the wilshire mansion.

walk with me here, them having a moment after all that built up tension that leaves them buzzing, their nerves thrumming with a thrill they've never experienced before. them going to bed with smiles on their faces unable to bite them back no matter how hard they try.

jean staring up at the ceiling curling his fingers over hips lips remembering the heat of jeremy's and wishing so bad that jeremy was able to stay so jean could explore the shape of his face until he drifted into sleep.

jeremy in his too big bed in his mother's mansion for once not feeling that pressing weight of loneliness that usually drags him down bc his heart is thumping excitedly in his chest. he's curled up on his side, burying his smile into his pillow feeling like nothing could possibly bring him down now that he finally knows how it feels to have jean's lips graze against his own and his fingers threaded in his hair.

them seeing each other the next day, and there's something different about them both that everyone notices. their gazes linger on each other for longer, they float closer as if pulled by some invisible force, they can't stop blushing and/or smiling. and for the next few days it stays this way. it's sweet and it's new and it's the highest either of them has ever felt.

but the high doesn't last. the dam inevitably breaks and jeremy is forced to face the ultimatum of choosing his abusive family or choosing himself and a future he can actually stand to live. and when he does make that step, when he realises everything it might cost him not to, that's when he breaks. because it shouldn't be difficult to let go, but it is.

and the thing about breaking is that all the ugliness now comes spilling out and if jeremy can't keep his mask up and if everyone can see all his demons then what kind of person does that make him and how can he hold jean up if he can't hold himself?

and so when he's on his knees, tears streaming down his pretty face that's when he tells jean that he understands if it's too much for him to bear, that he's okay with jean calling it quits because he won't drag him down with his problems. nobody has ever chosen him before and he doesn't expect them to start now.

and it's then that jean takes his chin in hand, holds jeremy's gaze and tells him "i choose you. i am not going anywhere. i will hold you up until you can hold yourself and even then, i will always catch you if you fall"

[adamsrcnan]

what if jean very sweetly & a little shyly asks jeremy "will you kiss me?" or "can you kiss me?" or even just says "kiss me" bc he's a little nervous and his palms are sweating from how badly he wants this bc he's never had a proper first kiss before and he's afraid he'll dive in far too quickly and eagerly and he might crash his mouth into jeremy's unpleasantly OR he'll be too shaky and jeremy might think he doesn't want it but he does. he does want it so bad and he knows jeremy needs to know that so he's asking for it from him. explicitly. also asking jeremy would give him an out. if he doesn't want to he can say no but jean thinks he'll say yes. hopes he'll say yes. and maybe his heart is pounding so loud he actually almost misses the "yes" or the "okay" that jeremy sighs (like in relief bc he's wanted it so bad as well) but jean's been watching jeremy's mouth far too closely to miss the way it moves and so he sees jeremy say yes before he hears it and then jeremy is leaning in and their lips are brushing together and it's just a gentle peck but it's one that's held for what feel like the longest and most pleasant seconds of jean's life and his eyes definitely flutter closed from it. when jeremy pulls away jean can feel that he doesn't go far but he doesn't open his eyes yet he just lets out his own sigh of relief, his shoulders sagging like all the weight has somehow vanished from just the press of jeremy's warm mouth. a little desperate noise escapes his throat and jean's name is just leaving jeremy's mouth in a question when jean surges forward and crashes their lips together again. because he didn't know how much he needed to feel this and now that he has he doesn't know how he can ever give it up

[zombiecowboy65]

Everyone talking about andreil why is no one talking about Jeremy wanting someone to choose him for once and Jean choosing him over and over and over again. Why is no one talking about Jean wanting someone to see more than the court and Jeremy’s gaze finding Jean in every room. Why is no one talking about Jean going batshit crazy the minute someone so much as breathes wrong in Jeremy’s direction. Why is no one talking about Jeremy stopping Kevin the minute he started speaking angry French because he thought he was yelling at Jean. Why is no one talking about promise me you’ll protect him tomorrow. Why is no one talking about Jean’s angry they are not your partners. Why is no one talking about does it really matter? I’m only learning French for you. Why is no one talking about you and me against the world or Jeremy testing the easy way Jean took his weight without complaint . Why is no one talking about jerejean in their own trilogy oml

[jhsjykwpdw]

they have never once been normal about each other

[viiiiiliiiii]

no, Jean’s first experiences with intimacy are not hot as fuck. they can’t be, if only because Jeremy hesitates when it comes to Jean’s neck. he’s seen what Jean has done to it before, seen the marks left by fingernails dragged across skin in desperate attempts to tear painful memories out along with the flesh. because of that, Jeremy starts carefully — his fingertips brush lightly along Jean’s jaw before trailing down to the base of his neck, each touch accompanied by slow, lingering kisses pressed to Jean’s lips. only when he sees that Jean isn’t tensing beneath him, does he continue. Jeremy lets his nose trace the line of Jean’s throat, following the faint twitch of muscle beneath pale skin. then, in a place that has known nothing but pain, teeth, and violence, he presses a soft kiss. when Jean doesn’t pull away, Jeremy tries again. another kiss, then another, each one searching for a new place to settle before he finally lifts his head to look at him. “Are you okay when I touch you here?” Jean’s gaze drops to him, slightly confused, as though he’s sorting through layers of information at once, examining both the question and his own reaction to it. “Maybe,” he admits after a moment. “I think so. I don’t really know…” then, quieter still but with unmistakable sincerity, he adds, “Can you do it again?” the smile that spreads across Jeremy’s face has nothing to do with desire. It’s warmth, relief, and something achingly close to happiness. Jean wants to try. more importantly, he trusts Jeremy enough to ask. “Say my name while I do,” Jeremy says softly, setting the only condition he has before leaning in once more.

he knows he can’t erase what happened to Jean. he can’t rewrite years of trauma or make those memories disappear. the only thing he can do is help build new ones — teach Jean’s mind a different association, one careful moment at a time, until the touch of someone’s lips belongs to a different memory entirely. to a different person. to a single name. “Jeremy…“ Jean says it quietly as he feels Jeremy’s hands settle against his sides, grounding him there. his thumbs trace slow paths along Jean’s ribs while his lips wander across the skin of his neck and down toward his collarbones. there are no teeth, no pain, nothing sharp. Jean’s fingers find their way into Jeremy’s curls. he could stop him at any moment, pull him away, create distance. Instead, he lets his hands slide lower, resting uncertainly around Jeremy’s waist as he learns this new version of touch, new body in his hands. gets used to it. gets used to a neck touched not by teeth, but by warm lips and gentle affection, until the pale skin there is marked only by the faintest traces of color left behind by repeated, careful kisses.

[heartcellar]

how long?

[eaglerayys]

Suzanne Collin’s just said fuck you to everyone who’s ever critiqued the Hunger Games as being a “teen girl saves the day” story. She said oh, Mockingjay didn’t make it clear enough? Here’s a book about how people have been rebelling for decades only to have their efforts suppressed and propagandized. Rebellion takes time and it takes failure and Katniss may have been the spark that ignited the wildfire but she did so standing atop the doused flames of everyone who came before her.

[comemylittlegammaray]

Yes! we also get to see there’s been rebel plans we still don’t know about. Beete, Plutarch are characters we know are associated with the rebellion that succeeds decades later and we get a sense of how people feel in 12. The importance of LouLou being a girl from District 11 punished for her family’s “traitor” actions makes it clear other districts had also tried to rebel in their own way with their own plans. Whatever they did or were planning to do would’ve hurt the capitol so much that it required a special punishment (even before making her a body double). It wasn’t just one group, there a million flames coming starting everywhere that got quenched until the one that finally catched fire.