Something about that last post just really fucking irked me.
Normalize asking questions about your experiences and things you're not clear on
Yesterday, I had to ask some friends a question.
Any uterus having people that have had the electro therapy on their back-- very specific but Google isn't helping
Can the electricity on the lower back cause a period???
Wow, fucking cringe, what a faker, doesn't even know how her own uterus works, how do you make it this far in life and not know this stuff, FAKE UTERUS
I was so embarrassed to ask. I was scared, too.
And yet, I got an answer that I hadn't been able to find on my own.
Well, first off, A, thank God I'm not hurt or dying, that's a relief. B, no one laughed. C, this shit isn't common knowledge.
Even if you think it's obvious, it's not.
Things can be related in the weirdest ways, and sound totally strange at first, and they turn out to be totally normal experiences.
Doctors say it's super complicated to understand, don't worry, you're not alone.
What's the difference between normal and pathological dissociation?
Oh, boy, let's sit down for this one.
What's the difference between trauma and abuse?
Fantastic question, first, are you doing okay? Second, it's complicated.
Could these two symptoms be related?
FUCKING PROBABLY, let's talk about it.
All these overgeneralized, sweeping statements, made under the guise of "correcting misinformation," and really only trying to prove people wrong instead of educate, hurt other people with that thing.
"Your doctor is ALWAYS right," fuck you, no they're not. "They know you better than you know yourself." Ohhh, fuck no, that's dangerous. "You MUST fit the criteria 😤."
WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE TRYING TO HELP?
Because you're failing spectacularly at doing any kind of good for the community you want to "help".
You lost the point so hard that your posts are now actively dangerous to people with CDDs that don't think clinically enough for you. You lost the point when you use papers that directly contradict each other over basic facts, and don't even realize it in your rush to be "right".
"Trust your doctor 100%," about any other disorder, would get you instantly canceled. Are you overweight? A POC? A woman? Trans? A combination? Well, you're fucked.
You, yourself, have probably never thought that.
Who cares what they're calling themselves, who cares whether the term is clinical, are they getting the help and support they need? Can we help clarify anything for them?
Using a people focused approach in therapy is totally fine, THIS HAS NEVER BEEN AN ISSUE. It may be a doctor-focused issue, but it's not a treatment issue. In other words, for every doctor that prefers a parts focused approach, there's one that'll use a people focused approach just fine, if that's what you want to do. Good job getting into therapy, congrats! That's what's important.
"Fictives," are so well documented that complaining about them is laughable.
Alters can take years to come forward after events, and may latch onto a character years after their actual formation. Who cares if the person can pinpoint the cause, or if they don't even care enough to try, are they getting the help and support they need???
Instead of saying, "that's impossible," let's start asking, "how can I help?"
Instead of saying, "your opinion is wrong," let's address actual misinformation. Talk to pro/endos about the trauma basis of DID. That matters a fuck ton more than whatever you're arguing about.
Instead of laughing at people who don't know things, learn to socialize and present corrections in a pleasant conversation. God forbid you're seen "being nice," to the other side.
As a very good friend said, better than I ever could, this whole "prioritizing research always over listening to others' lived experiences" is just the plural version of "academic theory on queer experiences is most important." You need both.
Many things can be true, all at the same time. Opinions are onions, they all make me cry or whatever the saying is. Single research papers should never be used generally. If you put all the papers together, anything is possible. This paper doesn't specifically talk about that thing so it's not possible.
Another paper, just a click away:
Are people happy, healthy, and feeling supported in their life?
Fantastic, that's what matters.
This blog is open to basic questions that people are scared to ask. I would also highly recommend sending @cdd-safe-haven those kinds of questions. It's completely unrelated to syscourse, hopefully the information will help more people.
