"Beef" Jerky

Just a silly blog I made for the purpose of doing incorrect quotes for the D&D campaign I'm in | Remi - they/he | Voyd - they/them | party members, I am so sorry.

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Atri: Can you at least TRY to see things from my point of view?!

Chaos: *shifts to her height*

Chaos: You know, I think I get it now.

Atri: I will fucking obliterate you.

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Crest: i love drinking water

Krakle: I love killing nonstop

Crest: have you tried water

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Krakle: I've been thinking...

Snap: thanks for the warning. Seeya

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Bezel: I hope that I am not only whimsical and odd to you guys, but also vaguely threatening

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Crest: Normalize being out of the loop....... like what is even going on lol

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Asterimus: Demarii, how many kids do you have?

Demarii, surrounded by the entire Ash Tribe: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

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Atri: "I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy" I would. Coward. Pussy.

Crest: "I'm not gonna sink to their level" I will. Coward.

Krakle: "I'm the bigger person" I'm 150 cm tall. Give me the gun.

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Rakdos: You need to come into work

Krakle: I have today off

Rakdos: Fuck you I don't care

Krakle: Fuck you dude I quit. I hope you get eaten by animals

Rakdos: I'm sending someone to your house to kill you

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Krakle: I demand theatrics!!! Dress me in white lace and chain me to an altar!!! Prove to me romance isn't dead!!!!

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Dahlia: Do you ever get pre-annoyed? Like you already know someone is going to piss you off?

Chaos: What? No, I—

Kane: *enters room*

Dahlia: *jaw clenches*

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Kane: Do you realize destruction of a city is a crime?

Krakle: Show me the law

Kane: *pulls out a few sheets of paper*

Krakle: Lmao I'm not reading all that

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Dahlia: You've gotta be tough, Sizzle! Show 'em you can't be pushed around! Show 'em they can't mess with you!

Sizzle: Right. Yes. Tough. Got it.

Sizzle, standing up on his barstool and slamming his hands down on the bar: SIZZLE WILL TAKE AN APPLE JUICE

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Atri, writing in her diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

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Dahlia: I hate when the other guy goes in for a handshake and I go in for an open mouth kiss like oh great now I probably won't get this job

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Krakle: I'm so upset

Atri: Why what happened?

Krakle: Shut the fuck up

Atri: Okay man fuck you stay upset I hope your day gets worse actually

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Demarii: No time for mansplaining! This place is gonna blow!

Chaos: Actually, it's going to collapse. The bombs are only there to break the supports and compromise the structural integrity of the building so much that it collapses on itself. You would need a much more powerful bomb to literally blow up the building from the inside since most of the energy would just be absorbed by th

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Krakle: *sneaking in through the window*

Demarii: *turns in her chair as all the lights turn on* You wanna tell me where you've been all night?

Krakle: I was… with Crest?

Crest: *turns in another chair* Wanna try again?