Because everyone deserves their fifteen minutes @quotemebitch - Tumblr Blog

The mother fucking pharmacy doesn't open till 9 am AND Starbucks is closed till March 28

Texts from this morning

#parenthood #textsfromthismorning #coffee #starbucks

Vic: HE HAD AN EYE PATCH?! Why didn’t you tell me that first?

RE: Josh explaining how an old, old man walks around his gym nude

#nude #gym #eyepatch #oldmen

Yeah an interesting juice sounds good. But not TOO interesting.

Sunday-Funday mixers

#mixers #sunday funday #interestingjuices #drinks #daydrinking

Don’t look at dogs while you’re driving

What is: things I have to say to myself on a regular basis

#dogs #driving #dailyreminder

J- Wait why did you say you were gonna get boys pajamas

V- Cuz they make them in darker colors and the pop stains won’t show through

#shitstains #parenthood

J- I smell burning V- what if this hotel is on fire and I have a robe on?! Wait! what do you have on?!

Hotel fire

#hotelrobes #hotel #isthisokay

J- I always go debit V- you might as well be writing a check

Credit > debit

#getwiththeprogram #credit #debit

“J- You’re very consumed right now. V- Sorry…I just have to respond to a few things…Beyoncé posted a pic of her twins. J- (silently judging)”

Beyoncé > everything

#Beyoncé #twins

Just told my 6 week old I'd give her money if she'd stop crying... it didn't work.

You're killin' me smalls

#newborns #help #thisisgoinggreat #momlife

You look pretty Michael Jackson

Khloe Kardashian RE: Kris Jenner's bananas outfit

#moms #khloekardashian #seriously #lolz

Hannah: I don't think you need to take an acting class, baby. Elijah: Thank you! I'm gonna fuck my way to the middle.

Get it.

#girls #hannah #elijah #aimhigh

My hair grows on company time... I cut it on company time

The man has got a point

#haircut #photoshootfresh #workworkwork #companytime

Let's just start 2017 from this point forward.

#ladygaga #superbowl #getitgurl

I love this record baby, but I can't see straight anymore. Keep it cool, what's the name of this club? I can't remember but it's alright, alright.

Weird... 'Just Dance' happens to be be story of my 20s

#lady Gaga #just dance #my20s

A grown ass woman should never smell like cookies

Just because there is a sale at Bath & Body Works doesn't mean you should go in. Also, who still shops at Bath & Body Works?!

#scentofawoman #sugarcookies #bath&bodyworks

If the Secret Service was doing its job they'd shoot off the bottom of Trumps tie.

-Ron Bennington It's too long

#Trump #benningtonshow #SecretService #Longtie

Rain or not...God is not blessing this guy

#tump #inauguration

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