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[quotesfrommylife]

My sister sat up from a dead sleep at 2am and looked at me and said "I don't know what I'm doing anymore." Before rolling over and going back to sleep.

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I once shared a room with my older brother and I had the top bunk of our bunk bed and I had gotten sick so I ended up puking over the side. It got all over him and his bed. The weird part is he didn't freak out just asked me if I was ok told our mom so she'd clean it up and then took a shower. I feel bad about it though but it's still funny.

[quotesfrommylife]

I went to my friends (She will be A) house today. She had her boyfriend (R) and our other friend (C) over also. We were helping her clean out her house since she's living with her grandma and they needed it clean. I had to use the bathroom so I went and there was no toilet paper so I told her I needed toilet paper and she told me to hold on because she had to find some. Then I hear C say "A your grandma's here." So her grandma comes in and she's upset since she only asked to have C over and it looked bad having two boys over alone in her house. So she made them leave. Now I'm awkward so I don't say anything while I'm in the bathroom and I'm terrified because A isn't saying anything either so she's trying to hide me. And A and her grandma sit there for like 20 minutes looking for a paper and then A can't find her phone and she's kind of panicking. So I'm in the bathroom, with no toilet paper, my feet fell asleep, and I'm texting my friend a step by step of what's happening. So then A is trying to get her grandma to leave but she's not leaving. And they sit there for like another 10 minutes before they finally leave. That's when A started texting me about how sorry she is. So I find some baby wipes in her bathroom and realise her bathroom sink doesn't work so I have to wash my hands in the kitchen and I'm still texting her because I have to leave but I don't want to leave the door unlocked. So A just tells me to leave and meet her at the park across the street. I go over there and R and A are there and they're laughing C had left already. And this was my first time meeting R so when we were leaving I said "it was nice meeting you. Except the part I got locked in the bathroom." And R says "yeah that was.... shitty" making a dumb pun. I also got a really bad sunburn so that sucked. The friend that I was texting started laughing and told me that I get in the most awkward situations and I text her like every other day with one and she my life is like a teen drama.

[quotesfrommylife]

My younger brother, sister, and their friend decided to play Charlie Charlie and then had me show them how to play Bloody Mary. They played them both and we're having fun while I was making dinner. Then I hear my sister say "we should let Charlie Charlie and Bloody Mary hang out". I laughed and said, "what so they can team up and kill you," jokingly. My brother then replied, "no so they can date." Then I hear their friend asking Charlie if he like Bloody Mary. They're fucking shipping ghosts that aren't even real what the fuck.

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My little brother and I were talking about how his friend might come out to his parents and he was like "he's afraid to because he says his parents are kind of homophobic, which I don't understand why that has anything to do with him coming out." So I asked him what he thought homophobic meant and he said "I'm not stupid it's the fear of small spaces." And I had to spend 20 minutes explaining the difference between homophobic and claustrophobic.

[quotesfrommylife]

I hate onions. I just had to get that out there. Like I'll eat them but I swear if you ask me to cut an onion we can no longer be friends. Last time I cut an onion I was blinded by my tears and stinging eyes that cut my thumb and had to finish the meal I was making bleeding and crying. I had to hold a stupid paper towel to my thumb while searching the house for band aids because we never freaking have them and once I found them I couldn't even text right because of the stupid band aid so I ended texting with my pointer finger like my grandma and being made fun of by literally everyone who saw me. I decided onions are my worst enemies and I hate them. I just needed to get this out of my system and it was very hard to do because I'm still using my fucking pointer finger.

[quotesfrommylife]

Me to my best friend: you're the light of my life. My best friend: don't say that.

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Before I was born my two older siblings and my parents went camping and they saw a bear. My siblings got in the car and locked it and wouldn't let my parents in because they were afraid the bear would get in that way. Everyone got out fine because the bear just left but my parents will never stop telling that story.

[quotesfrommylife]

Why are clothes so expensive if we have to wear them?

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I can't read books in public because they make me have emotions that show on my face and I prefer to look emotionless so people leave me alone.

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There's two kinds of sick. The one where you're miserable but at least you get to binge watch all your shows and the one where all you do is sleep and cry

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Once my little sister saw me checking out a cute guy and loudly announced that I was too fat for him.

[quotesfrommylife]

When I first get new socks: this time will be different. I'll always have them in pairs, put them in my laundry basket every night, put them away after I wash them and I'll keep them around for a long time without losing any. A week later: gotta go by new socks only got 1 1/2 pairs left lol

[quotesfrommylife]

My little brother enjoys dumping our little sister's clothes out of her laundry basket and walking around the house with it on his head. I don't know if he does just because it makes her mad or if he's just really weird

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I can't do highfives. I'm toawkward. If you try to high five me ill barley tap your hand then think about how embarrassing that was for the rest of my life.

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My sister views me as a 'traveling babysitter', her words. When we go out I have a habit of always following my nephew around and keeping him safe and out of trouble. It gets... difficult. He likes to run off at the worst times. When we were shopping for shoes I tried on the tallest heels I've ever worn and my sister was putting on her pair, he knew exactly what he was doing when he ran off laughing. I had to chase my nephew up and down several aisles in high heels until I successfully dragged him back to my sister. My sister decided that if I can chase down my nephew in the shoes then I can wear them for a 6 hours. I'm not complaining I got a cute pair of shoes.

[quotesfrommylife]

I have discovered that it is very hard to explain to a 2 year old that you have to eat the ice cream cone right away because it melts.