uuuuuuh

Jo, 24, she/her, MN. INTJ. I like cats, Magic: the Gathering, wlw shows, writing, & the color yellow

[lonestarboyfriend]

maybe you were put on this earth to be tender and loving during a time when you are expected to be cruel and calloused

[eco-socialism]

[shittymoviedetails]

In Avengers endgame, Fat Thor is the butt of many jokes, this is because Marvel thinks Survivor’s guilt and PTSD are funny subjects.

[feelboss]

url still checks out; it’s details about a shitty movie

[iredreamer]

The fact that AW almost always says Anne's name when she says I love you? The way AL's face and whole being lights up at that? Or when she says "I love Y O U" with so much emphasis on the YOU part, as if she could NEVER phantom loving anyone else. did Mariana even said that? Or was it smth like "oh freddy; I love you so much" like... just ANNE LISTER being loved for her full self, not whatever version they need her to be to deal with their internalized homophobia. Love to see it

“I love you, Anne”

“I’m in love with you.”

“I always have been.”

the way her chin trembles, her smile, the tears in her eyes, the way she looks at Ann’s face, the happiness in her expression after hearing that Ann loves her for who she is, the way she gets closer to Ann, the fact that you cAN SEE ANN’S REFLECTION IN HER EYES!!!! I caNT–

[iredreamer]

So, since this ask was also about the difference between Ann Walker and Mariana when it comes to express their love for Anne Lister, and since @iswearfealtytolexa told me that she was the one to send the ask and that she would like my take on Marianna and how/if she loved Anne, I’ve decided to articulate a bit more on the subject.

I didn’t want to ruin the love radiating from that post 👆 so I condensed my thoughts about Mariana in the notes of my reply: #Mariana uses the I love you as an excuse to say hurtful things #she’s always like #you’ll never marry you’ll never find someone who will commit to you #I say these things because I love you #Oh Anne how embarrassed I am to be seen with you #but I endure it because I love you #and I’m like #no bitch #you’re just saying hurtful mean sad things #sHUT up

Those are basically my thoughts in a nutshell. Now, let me explain.

I think that the different way in which Mariana and Ann Walker express their love is not only a matter of characterization, it doesn’t only help us to see how different they are, but it is also one of the details that helps us feel how much history there is between Mariana and Anne.

Every time Mariana says that she loves Anne, every time she says “I love you”, her “I love you” is always linked to something else or used as A. an excuse to say harsh truths to Anne – ”I tell you these things because I care about you, because I love you.” [1x01] – or B. a way of comparing her love to Ann Walker’s love, with the intent to highlight that her love (Mariana’s) is better or greater. AL: “Well, good heavens, I’m surprised you ever bothered with me at all if that was the case.” – ML: “Because I loved you. I still love you, more than your Miss Walker ever would have done.” [1x07]

I think that Mariana loves Anne. She does. I just think that she loves her not in the way Anne wants/needs to be loved. Mariana argues that she loves Anne “more than” her “Miss Walker”. I personally think that love is like a switch, either you feel it or you don’t, loving someone “more than” is not the point, the point is loving them “right”.

The fact that Mariana doesn’t say “I love you” just to say it, but she uses it when “it’s needed” to make a point (“I love you more than…”, “I love you despite…”) says a lot about their relationship. They are at a stage where the “I love you”, on its own, is not enough. “I love you” is not enough to leave Charles, “I love you” is not enough to go and live at Shibden. And so Mariana has to prove her love in some other way: “of course I love you, my honesty proves it.”; “it’s clear that I love you because, despite your looks and your attitude that make me feel ashamed and embarrassed, I’m still here.” At the same time, her “I love you” is quite manipulative: she always says it right after having said some very hurtful things, making Anne sad and miserable. The “I love you” that comes right after temporarily soothes Anne’s wound, the wound that Mariana re-opened just seconds before. With Mariana and Anne we are watching always the same scene, we are hearing always the same “I love you”.

On the contrary every “I love you” Ann Walker says is a little different, and it’s different because she becomes more and more aware of the meaning and the implications of her feelings as the series progresses. Starting from the one she blurts out because she’s experiencing a strong sexual and romantic desire, every new “I love you” is said more firmly, more consciously, till the one on the hilltop where Ann is totally aware of her feelings and desires.

I particularly like this line: “I’ve been so in love with you. I always have been, ever since the first time I saw you when I was 18, younger! I think the first time I ever saw you I was 14 and then I knew then, I just knew…” I love how Ann Walker doesn’t even know how to explain or properly express her love for Anne, but she just knew. Ann Walker never says “I’m doing this because I love you”, “I’m saying this because I love you”, and she never does because (contrary to Mariana) she doesn’t feel the need to prove herself. All the other things (what people say, what people think, etc.) have nothing to do with her love for Anne Lister. Her love doesn’t depend on anything other than herself and her feelings. Ann Walker doesn’t feel the need to enrich her “I love you” with something else, her “I love you” is enough, as it should be. She doesn’t have to convince Anne Lister of her love.

Anne Lister doesn’t need (and doesn’t want) someone who loves her despite all the things she is, she just wants someone who loves her. And that’s what Ann Walker does. Ann Walker doesn’t love Anne despite or because of what she is or isn’t. Ann Walker just loves her, period.

I love you, Anne.

[lonestarboyfriend]

maybe you were put on this earth to be tender and loving during a time when you are expected to be cruel and calloused

[magicview]

you’re such an idiot (x)

[archatlas]

Contrived Structures Nick Sellek

This series of photographs are of detailed models, embracing the contrived structures that surround us in our overdeveloped urban environments. They are close up, exaggerated studies of architectural components, severed from context to emphasise the absurdity of their design. The models are also intended to be displayed as freestanding objects, and to be viewed from all angles.

Images and text via Nick Sellek

[today-only-happens-once]

To Tired Writers. To the people out there whose hearts very, very much want to write and work on WIPs, but who are just mentally and physically exhausted right now. It’s okay. It is okay to rest sometimes. Allow yourself time to rest. 

[mylittleredgirl]

my dad–also a writer–came to visit, and i mentioned that the best thing to come out of the layoff is that i’m writing again. he asked what i was writing about, and i said what i always do: “oh, just fanfic,” which is code for “let’s not look at this too deeply because i’m basically just making action figures kiss in text form” and “this awkward follow-up question is exactly why i don’t call myself a writer in public.”

he said, “you have to stop doing that.”

“i know, i know,” because it’s even more embarrassing to be embarrassed about writing fanfic, considering how many posts i’ve reblogged in its defense.

but i misunderstood his original question: “fanfic is just the genre. i asked what you’re writing about.” 

i did the conversational equivalent of a spinning wheel cursor for at least a minute. i started peeling back the setting and the characters, the fic challenge and the specific episode the story jumps off from, and it was one of those slow-dawning light bulb moments. “i’m writing about loneliness, and who we are in the absence of purpose.”

as, i imagine, are a lot of people right now, who probably also don’t realize they’re writing an existential diary in the guise of getting television characters to fuck. 

“that’s what you’re writing. the rest is just how you get there, and how you get it out into the world. was richard iii really about richard the third? would shakespeare have gotten as many people to see it if it wasn’t a story they knew?”

so, my friends: what are you writing about?

[hthar]

honestly, writing about coping with trauma and the redefining of one’s identity for the sake of progress ;^;

[r0-ugh]

I’m writing about staying soft and kind when the world tries its best to harden you & make you cynical.

[grumpytrans]

don’t even TALK to me if your dwarven crafts aren’t direct from orzammar

[cyproterone-deactivated20220309]

years of plausible deniability will they won't they attraction between two women, a handful of gay background characters who barely exist, a dead trans woman, and a nonbinary character who doesn't even show up in the story, and fans still praised mtg for its "diversity" and "representation" like, this goes for a lot of things but mtg fans in particular are so committed to this fucked up brand loyalty that they genuinely can't make any real criticism of it even when it sucks

[cyproterone-deactivated20220309]

years of plausible deniability will they won't they attraction between two women, a handful of gay background characters who barely exist, a dead trans woman, and a nonbinary character who doesn't even show up in the story, and fans still praised mtg for its "diversity" and "representation" like, this goes for a lot of things but mtg fans in particular are so committed to this fucked up brand loyalty that they genuinely can't make any real criticism of it even when it sucks

[afterword]

pillow princess is a bottomphobic slur

[afterword]

when u make a post targeted at bottoms

[5hio]

Recreating that scene from The Incredibles

i’m so sorry.

Based on this tweet

[jones-friend]

Magic the Gathering but we remove the “N” from all “Lands”

[chandranalaar]

A compilation of my favourite lads—

The classics, Savage Lads and Badlads

Rugged Highlads

An essential accessory, the Lad Cap

Quicksad :(

And my absolute favourite lad: Area

[jones-friend]

Do not apologize for creating greatness

[tomcats-and-tophats]

Defining your sexuality as uniquely “being attracted to PERSONALITY” is just so condescending and revealing. Like how poorly do you regard your LGBT siblings to cast our experiences in such an ugly superficial light

[tordenvejr]

vulnerability is clumsy but it’s the only thing worth anything