Welcome to my Diary

vent blog, possibly triggering content!!! Check pinned post for tw!

[r0ttinglem0ns]

Possibly Triggering Content

•Child sexual assault, self harm, and suicide mentioned here!!

•Lemon (he/it) 20+

•Terfs, homophobes, and racists are not welcome

•Text posts tagged as #lemonspills

[7dmom]

I'm broken in a special way actually which means I can be healed in a unique way

[r0ttinglem0ns]

waking up after 3 hours of sleep and immediately sending myself into a panic and feeling like i need to hurt myself is such a grat way to start my day where i need to be productive

[blckgirlacid]

I need my weird alone time or I will explode

[flowrrs4u]

I am good. I am loved.

[r0ttinglem0ns]

in other news, my boyfriend apparently mumbles in his sleep

[r0ttinglem0ns]

power went out at like 7:30 last night.......its 6:30am and its still out....i really cant catch a fucking break

[r0ttinglem0ns]

i just want my fan if i cant have my air conditioner

[r0ttinglem0ns]

power went out at like 7:30 last night.......its 6:30am and its still out....i really cant catch a fucking break

[r0ttinglem0ns]

they fixed the issue with my account ive had for like 2 years that seemed unfixable!!!!

[r0ttinglem0ns]

i can not catch a fucking break apparently

[sandersstudies]

“They’re just looking for attention.”

Oh, a human being is seeking a social response? Human being, the social animal wired to make and track social connection? A human desires the vital blood that permitted their species to survive for millennia? The human being who was born completely helpless and primed in every way by nature to seek attention and help from their community?

Wow that’s crazy. How embarrassing. Humiliating even. Should we isolate them from community? Should we call Wire Mother?

[do-not-u-dare]

let’s talk about how they made it impossible to function without a phone and digitalised everything and then turned around and went “actually! these phone things aren’t safe for kids but it’s magically ok once you’re eighteen. guess you’ll have to have your life dictated by your parents now lol cause we’re gonna take the devices away from you. IT’S FOR YOUR OWN GOOD WHY ARE YOU COMPLAINING”

[do-not-u-dare]

ok my apologies. take away my ability to buy anything too ig because these fuckass stores don’t accept cash anymore. take away my ability to communicate with people outside my house and school because I can’t text and I can’t email and I cant drive to them either and I can’t even fucking get public transport without a phone either. can’t order at a fucking restaurant without being asked to get a membership and install an app and also very sorry but you can only order through our online menu now! have you ever considered that it’s not just about instagram?

[r0ttinglem0ns]

me thinks the years of isolation and fear of people are starting to get to me.... i crave human connection (that isnt my boyfriend who i see every weekend)

[r0ttinglem0ns]

aughhhhh i need to go out and do things and socialize but i live in the middle of BUM FUCK NOWHERE so if i want to go anywhere i have to drive!!!

i want to go to a bar or a club with friends and have fun but i cant!!! an uber or lyft or cab costs waaay too much around here, my only irl friend moved away and i dont think thats really my boyfriends vibe, and even if it was his vibe asking him to go out and then having him dd feels selfish and lame he should get to have fun too!!

i guess i could ask my eldest sister but its just the same situation!

i need to make friends who live in busier areas so i can hang out with them and not have to drive around

[r0ttinglem0ns]

i just want to go places with nightlife bc im just a nocturnal person and ive never had the expierence of going to a bar or club (the dive bar my dad frequented when i was growing up doesnt count imo bc i was NOT supposed to be there)

[r0ttinglem0ns]

i also SUCK at maintaining friendships. im a super friendly person and make friends really easily but maintaining those friendships is a fucking struggle

[r0ttinglem0ns]

aughhhhh i need to go out and do things and socialize but i live in the middle of BUM FUCK NOWHERE so if i want to go anywhere i have to drive!!!

i want to go to a bar or a club with friends and have fun but i cant!!! an uber or lyft or cab costs waaay too much around here, my only irl friend moved away and i dont think thats really my boyfriends vibe, and even if it was his vibe asking him to go out and then having him dd feels selfish and lame he should get to have fun too!!

i guess i could ask my eldest sister but its just the same situation!

i need to make friends who live in busier areas so i can hang out with them and not have to drive around

[r0ttinglem0ns]

i just want to go places with nightlife bc im just a nocturnal person and ive never had the expierence of going to a bar or club (the dive bar my dad frequented when i was growing up doesnt count imo bc i was NOT supposed to be there)

[r0ttinglem0ns]

aughhhhh i need to go out and do things and socialize but i live in the middle of BUM FUCK NOWHERE so if i want to go anywhere i have to drive!!!

i want to go to a bar or a club with friends and have fun but i cant!!! an uber or lyft or cab costs waaay too much around here, my only irl friend moved away and i dont think thats really my boyfriends vibe, and even if it was his vibe asking him to go out and then having him dd feels selfish and lame he should get to have fun too!!

i guess i could ask my eldest sister but its just the same situation!

i need to make friends who live in busier areas so i can hang out with them and not have to drive around

[r0ttinglem0ns]

i think im just not allowed to have emotional stability on days where i do things to progress and improve my life

anyway in other news i applied to a phlebotomy course today heres hoping i get in