clown honk noise.mp3

leigh, 27, they/he 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ expect mcr, the pitt, hannibal, bg3/dnd and sillyposting

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

anyway what’s the best book you’ve ever read and yes if you say some YA shit i will kill a hostage.

[ewaneneollav]

you’re one of the three survivors after the apocalypse & the other two are visibly passing one of theirs’ phones back & forth having a secret conversation in a notes app

[fairycosmos]

good morning to the beaten and the damned only

[beansfrombeans]

[laterkiss]

happy pride to my favourite post on reddit

[chainmail-butch]

Images that go hard as fuck

[melodramat1cc]

see you in court

[vonkarmic]

i think taylor swift wishes she was bisexual because she knows it would make her slightly more money. whereas sabrina carpenter wishes she was bisexual so she could have sex with someone who looks exactly like herself. and ariana grande wishes she was bisexual because she did too many designer drugs on the set of wicked and now she has kin memories of being glinda for real

[alleesaur]

wish eater

[amygdalae]

[dmitryanya]

have some moon lesbians for pride month <3

[pnglove]

RAT CAKE ♡🐀

[feyspeaker]

Poor Cicero! print club exclusive for April, Dark Brotherhood themed! link to join before 4/30

[huskbateman]

Breaking news: Local Sufferer of the "You will be tired all the time" Disorder wakes up and finds out that All The Time includes Now

[ieatratsyummy]

They could never make me hate you, complex female character whose reaction to trauma was not pretty and digestible like how people think it should be.

[hopeless-eccentric]

if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills with my first two wishes, my third wish would be that sabrina carpenter would get gradually taller. she'd be in on it and think it was hilarious. we'd have a strong cap at 7 feet here, maybe an inch a week so people have time to theorize--let's not be ridiculous. but she'd still keep up the "ooh! im so little and small!" schtick. but shed be gradually getting taller. she'd be like 6'1" and still jumping for the microphone. and she'd never say anything about it. and if anyone asked shed act like she had no idea what they were talking about. and shed cheekily play into it a little bit but mostly still keep up the "ooh im so little and small" schtick. do you see my vision. do you get it

[hopeless-eccentric]

ok and so if i met a genie and fixed the world and all its ills in one wish i would do the sabrina carpenter thing second and third i would wish for all evidence of one random taylor swift song to disappear from the world once every month or so. taylor would have no memory of it. her fans would remember it and there would be an outcry over where it went (it's not even in concert videos anymore!) but taylor would have no memory of it

instead, all her brainspace spent on that song would be replaced with the vivid memories of roman gladiator, taylaurius velox. she's able to hide this at first, but her music begins to take on a gradually romaner and romaner tint. at first, people are like "damn, she's getting REALLY conservative, huh" and other people are like "wow, she's so deep, she knows what a rubicon is" but eventually travis kelce leaves her out of nowhere (he wasn't sure if dating someone possessed by a roman gladiator made him gay or not and anyway he was getting sick of being like "we're going to play the lions" and taylor being like "LIONS? WHERE?") and taylor publishes an entire brutus themed album about this betrayal and it's beginning to weird people out

and so eventually travis kelce is getting like, bomb threats sent to his family for leaving taylor and eventually he's like "okay, okay, i left her because she kept having all these vivid nightmares of gladatorial combat and she kept saying that football was giving her the ick because we never actually killed anybody for the glory of rome" and then he just gets more bomb threats because he left a struggling woman during a mental health crisis

and eventually taylor is writing music about her forbidden roman senator lover and her fanbase is either whittled WAY down or WAY up because people want to watch this trainwreck happen (or maybe she influences culture so hard that we're just all really into rome now) but she's being super cagey about the name of this roman senator. until. and now here's the twist:

weird al has been getting all of the same vivid memories of taylaurius velox. and he still has all his memories of her old songs. so he's writing all these detailed song parodies of taylor swift songs that don't exist anymore including specific details about their shared gladiatorial reality that taylor has never shared with anybody else. including that her lover's name was publius, and she's been calling him Poob for short

at this point a lot of original swifties are leaving. they could do the brutus stuff, but they really can't survive poob. taylor makes a clapping back at the haters song including the lyric "these bitches don't know publius" and it ends up all over all sorts of merch. there's a renewed archaeological interest in roman gladatorial combat

most importantly, the internet discourse is the best it's ever been. does this make taylor swift transmasc? is travis kelce problematic for leaving his fiancee while she gradually morphs into a roman gladiator? is this good queer representation? if taylaurius velox was a gay man, does that mean the gaylors were technically correct? is weird al morally wrong for capitalizing off of her music if she cant remember it anymore? was weird al sent by god to torment taylor swift?

anyway thats what id do if i met a genie

[jame7t]

daddydom ASMR but 5 seconds in he gets attacked by a cackling witch

[cornsumer]

i’m sorry but what the actual fuck

[jame7t]

a cackling witch

[genderoutlaws]

planned parenthood offering laser hair removal which is a really necessary gender aligning procedure for many trans women!

it being introduced alongside botox and fillers and multiple of their clinics suddenly saying that they won't perform abortions on anyone above a certain BMI even though it's against their own internal standards

[genderoutlaws]

beyond the reinforcement of beauty standards and body fascism like, idk how many people realize Botox is a specific brand name, and that brand in question has donated over $135,000 USD to Republican politicians in the past year alone. yknow the people that regularly vote to defund planned parenthood.

[genderoutlaws]

and another thing but like this is also why all feminists need to be pro fat liberation cuz shit like this puts pregnant fat people's lives at risk, even when they do access abortions they are often referred out to a hospital with a longer wait and a steeper bill, and often denied pain management. these stories coming out from fat women lately tryna access care alongside PP now selling the beauty standard to women feels interconnected and predatory.