Eat My Shorts

the bags under my eyes are prada

[mirrens]

the magical tale of elmo and two dildos

[alexander]

I’m the green face paint

[hoebutmadefashion]

I’m the plot twist

[danielkanhai]

i’m not against vaping, but man, vaping two inches from my face on the subway is a ridiculous asshole kind of move. this dude was billowing like he was auditioning for the role of haunted house fog machine. the humidity in the whole car changed, he was ruining haircuts. just jump starting the water cycle. condensation was dripping down my glasses. people were slipping off poles, it was chaos. it was like watching one man try to terraform the moon. a planet with one dense, root beer scented atmosphere blocking out the sun and choking all life. 

[jazzcochina-deactivated20180807]

i consider this a sort of prose poem to be honest

[maloql-deactivated20190131]

[swanqueensails-deactivated20240]

[bob-belcher]

great gowns, beautiful gowns

[thebootydiaries]

someone: *shows me the slightest sign of affection*

me: i would die for u

[bob-belcher]

[movie-gifs]

Clueless (1995) dir. Amy Heckerling

[cripplingdepresssion]

[stillglowinstillcrowin-deactiva]

im hosting a party to find out who sent me anon hate. i bought a polygraph test on amazon for $99. after it is done we will celebrate with drinks and appetizers!

[catsofinstagram]

[ya-wn]

please for the love of god turn ur sound on

[snoopingasusualisee]

I wanted to find this one specific background character but Google wants to roast the entire cast

[hurried-deactivated20181109]

THE BEACH ON HANNAH MONTANA WASNT REAL MY WHOLE LIFE HAS JUST BEEN ONE BIG LIE

[cookienun]

girl this looked as fake as a three dollar bill how on earth did you think it was real

[28l4]

do you ever sit with a group of people and not say anything for  the entire time so theres no reason for you to be there youre just awkwardly listening to people converse while doing your own thing and wondering how its so easy for them to just talk or why its so hard for you to say anything

[throwbackblr]

[childhoodruiner]

[wheresanegg-blog]

old iOS looks like how dj got us fallin’ in love by usher sounds

[renegalien-deactivated20210515]

i literally hate language, i hate that you can just say shit like this and it actually makes sense