shark vs the universe
Misplaced Lens Cap
Kiana Khansmith
Sade Olutola
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Stranger Things
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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Origami Around
One Nice Bug Per Day
#extradirty
Love Begins
ellievsbear
art blog(derogatory)
Claire Keane
Three Goblin Art
Not today Justin
izzy's playlists!
official daine visual archive
seen from United States
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seen from Iraq
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@samusreader
come hither, my loyal knight
a little closer
perfect
*baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you baps you*
*clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang clang*
I wish wizards were real so bad imagine coming out of a wal mart and seeing some guy with long robes and a big hat in the parking lot surrounded by wacky particle effects screaming some shit like "By the moon and the starlight, by the shield and the sword, I summon to me, my Honda Accord!" And then just getting into his car and driving off
so there's basically two reasons he would need to do this and they're both funny
his magical honda unsummoned while he was in Walmart; this means it's not even a real car and could look like anything and he picked or was forced somehow to pick a Honda Accord
his normal honda was left someplace while he came to Walmart by other means, and he can teleport the car to him more easily than he can teleport himself places
there's also the idea that he drove to walmart in his honda accord, and then when he got out he either forgot where he parked or wanted to skip like 20 seconds of walking so he just summons it right in front of the door
To not have to find a parking space, most wizards keep their Honda Accords in a extradimensional oubliette when not driving. This also saves on garage space.
Clearly the wizard had to summon his Honda Accord because someone stole it while he was shopping. The carjacker is now tumbling violently down the freeway like a source engine ragdoll
*doom music starts to play* I actually kindof like scheduling these kinds of appointments now...
but seriously Fellas, don't forget to schedule a pap smear every couple of years just in case. If you still have a cervix you can still get cervical cancer. ilu
this has been a psa
i've had this as an idea since 2017 btw
damn, tumblr says my art is ass and trans people is eye strain so no blaze for me :\
it'd be a shame if this...
blazed the old fashion way...
reblog to reassure the next person who reads this that everything is going to be okay and it’s all going to get easier soon
I’ve been reading about werewolves on Wikipedia and I just have to say. “Werewolves are warriors that descend into hell to fight demons” kicks unbelievable amounts of ass as a concept
on survival
-// @aridante // @orivu // @buzzkillgirls // ? // ? // richard siken// @cemeterything // moomin, tove jansson// @disenchanted-killjoy // isn't that enough, shawn mendes// @ prettytheyswag on twitter// @ coletyumuch on twitter// ? // ? // bird by bird, anne lamott// undertale// @strawberrycircuits
high ambient background football levels reminded me to actually finish this Personal Lore That Caused My Books comic
always remember, friend,
now go in peace
This meme was inspired by the piece "Lucky 10,000" by Randall Monroe.
[ID: “One man’s [“Yeah, the Time Knife, we’ve all seen it” meme] is another man’s [“Was anyone going to tell me?” meme] /End ID]
internet heiroglyphics
Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"
More from the notes:
I love this post
The horse thinks as it scratches an itch
I have decided to assume that the image is accurate and representative and this ASMR goes off the rails at some point
classic cinema is such a great pastime cause you'll hear somebody say yeah this movie changed cinema forever and is still the standard 70 years later and you'll go into it like surely it can't be good and come out of it like wow no it is that good actually. like this every time
Has this been done yet
I hope fifty good things happen to you within the next 30 seconds. I love you so much
@ralfmaximus Showers that will kill you
Holy shit I thought this was a Sims bit or someone playing with CAD software, but the last few seconds knocked me out
@thebibliosphere I'm pretty sure you are the appropriate recipient for other people's terrifying home renovation choices
Fucking thank you!
The infuriating part is that people apply the pop-psychology definition of "trauma-bond", but apply the actual psychology judgement of it, as in, "obviously bad, duh, everyone knows that".
The number of times I've been given shit for my relationships being "trauma-bonds" specifically cause I date fellow disordered people for the mutual understanding, is fucking astonishing.
[image description: flyer clarifying the meanings of various psychological terms, cut in two, which says "pop psychology" on the left and "actual psychology" on the right.
In pop psychology, "trauma bonding is when you're bonding with someone over shared trauma or similar past experiences." In actual psychology, "A trauma bond refers to the situation where someone develops strong feelings of sympathy, loyalty, dependance, and attachment towards their abuser."
In pop psychology, "Gaslighting is when someone lies to you, questions you, or disagrees with you over what happened." In actual psychology, "Gaslighting is an abuse tactic where you are manipulated to question your reality, memory, or sanity—not just a disagreement over what happened."
In pop psychology, "Being triggered means that something makes you uncomfortable or annoyed." In actual psychology, "A trigger is something that causes a sudden increase in symptoms—like flashbacks in PTSD or compulsions in OCD. Its not just a source of general discomfort."
In pop psychology, "Intrusive thoughts are random impulses you might want to act on; e.g. wanting to do something unexpected like dye your hair pink or eat cake for dinner." In actual psychology, "Intrusive thoughts and unwanted, involuntary thoughts that go against your real value and desires. You dont want to act on them, and them coming true would be your worst nightmare. They can be very prominent and distressing in disorders like OCD and PTSD."
End description.]
Recently managed to activate the most amazing infodump trap card.
I was driving through Vermont with a friend, and we pulled over at a tiny shop offering Maple Items. We were on the state highway, not the interstate, so "pulling over" meant "squeezing my tiny car into a parking bay the size of a broad highway shoulder."
As we got out of the car, an older woman emerged from behind the building where she had been pruning her roses. She introduced herself as Tammy.
Her shop offered the promised variety of Maple, but also a number of small antiques and a plethora of dog figurines, plaques, and clearly-hand-stitched garden flags.
A huge purple ribbon hung on the wall behind the register, along with many pictures of small dogs. This was no county fair ribbon. It was the size of my torso. The material had the soft sheen of actual silk.
As I placed my purchases on the counter, I asked, "Do you... Breed dogs?"
Yes. She does. She has bred Yorkies for the last 40 years. Her mother bred Yorkies before her. The purple ribbon was from her national championship winning Yorkie.
You may be expecting that the infodump was going to be about Yorkies.
It was not.
It was about 40 years of drama in the Yorkie breeding community. Where – you must understand – the judging at shows is often about who you're in with, not about the dogs. This is especially true when Tammy's opponents win anything.
And Tammy's mother! Well. Phyllis has been on the Yorkie scene since Yorkies were invented. Because of this, many women of equally venerable age hold deep grudges against Phyllis. The sort of grudges that result in episodes of Midsommar Murders.
This led to deep injustices against Phyllis on the part of judges and prevented her dogs from winning so often she retired from the scene. Judging is all about who you're friends with, after all.
After 20 years in hiding, Phyllis – the One True Queen of Yorkie Breeding – hatched a plot. She may have been out of the show circuit, but she was still breeding dogs. She entered an absolutely perfect bitch in the national competition, but sent her with a handler rather than go in person.
None of the usurpers knew who this dog belonged to, and in dog-breeding circles this Does Not Happen. This could have resulted in further injustices, but Phyllis was crafty. She knew this tournament was being judged by a man from the UK, who knew naught of the drama in the US Yorkie Empire.
With these advantages – and being the best dog there – Phyllis's bitch won the highest honor at the show.
Incensed by this insult to their ill-gotten supremacy, the other owners descended on the handler after the show, demanding to know for whom he was working.
"Phyllis," said he.
The name of the overthrown queen evoked horror in the usurpers.
"PHYLLIS!? She's still ALIVE!???"
Yes, Phyllis yet lived, and this bitch – the dog, not the woman – went on to mother Tammy's current dogs. One of whom, Lucy-Fur, is the reincarnation of Tammy's sister (also Lucy). This is certain for two reasons.
Firstly, Sister Lucy absolutely went straight to Hell upon her death, and Lucy-Fur the dog is positively as evil as Sister Lucy was.
Secondly, Sister Lucy always said when she died she wanted to come back as one of Phyllis's dogs because "mom treated the dogs better than us."
(No source for this edit because KYM is down and I had to drag it out of screenshot hell)
