Name’s Ettie, I’m 27 years old and I loooveee Fallout! Main blog is @radawaycuntt
If you’re not 18+ DO NOT INTERACT
You’ll mostly find ghoul fuckery here, but I occasionally write for human characters in the Fallout universe too!
I only take writing requests on this blog, not on main, so please don't send any there. I have the right to refuse any requests I don’t vibe with/want to take on, but please don’t take it personally. I’m also kinda busy with an ongoing Charon series on AO3 so it might take some time IF you want a longer fic (though usually I write more drabbles for requests) so please be patient <3 only writing for fem or GN reader, and for my OCs also.
Part one of A Light Shining in Darkness is out now on AO3!
Pairing: Joshua Graham x Nikté (Courier Six OC)
Rating: Explicit
Here's the summary: Originally hired to help the Happy Trails caravan find New Canaan, Nikté - otherwise known as Courier Six - winds up stranded in Zion after being the only survivor of an ambush. In her search for a way back to the Mojave, she finds herself in the eye of a brewing storm -- both between warring tribes, and between herself and the disgraced Malpais Legate, Joshua Graham.
Part one of A Light Shining in Darkness is out now on AO3!
Pairing: Joshua Graham x Nikté (Courier Six OC)
Rating: Explicit
Here's the summary: Originally hired to help the Happy Trails caravan find New Canaan, Nikté - otherwise known as Courier Six - winds up stranded in Zion after being the only survivor of an ambush. In her search for a way back to the Mojave, she finds herself in the eye of a brewing storm -- both between warring tribes, and between herself and the disgraced Malpais Legate, Joshua Graham.
Alright, been thinking about how to write Joshua. Like a lot, more than I should and I want to know how he would react to something.
If the reader/courier he’s basically stalking/observing/following has high enough perception, how would he react to getting called out in the moment? Especially if it’s in a situation where they’re fully alone or reader is nude or something.
and by called out I fully mean of a playful nature, in the vein of “You don’t have to stare you know, how about you come join me.”
Believe me, dude, I'm very familiar with the feeling of fixating on how to write one Mister Joshua Graham. Sometimes I feel like I have a pretty decent grip on his character, but others it feels like he's just past my fingertips. Also, this is definitely an idea I've kicked around for him, too!
I hope you know exactly how risky a move you're pulling if you decide to try this.
Firstly, he won't be expecting it. Joshua's used to people being too afraid of him to even look him in the eye most of the time, let alone directly confront him over something so uncomfortable to address. For a long, long time, he's worn that "intimidation factor" as a shield, and you smash directly through it with that one statement. He won't confront his own desires, so you doing so is entirely unforeseen, even if he hasn't exactly been subtle about his intentions towards you, his interest in your every single move. That interest leads itself to full-on spying/stalking/peeping from time to time.
He figures that, if he isn't moving in a pious way, at least he's moving in a stealthy way. How wrong he is. You've got his number already, "see his soul", as he'd put it.
This exact scenario is one of the only things you're guaranteed to see him have a strong reaction to, a rare but full slip of his immaculate self-restraint. It really doesn't matter if you're confronting him "playfully" or teasingly, if I'm quite honest; any direct acknowledgement of his failure to completely stamp out or conceal his sexual urges is going to be perceived as an attack, of sorts. You're bringing to light what should be hidden away, offering him what he should never have. Taunting him for failing to resist you. The way he perceives it, it doesn't matter that he'd already been violating your privacy, your boundaries: with your acknowledgement, you're essentially sticking your finger deep into a wide-open, long-festering wound of his and twisting it, and he will react with according ferocity.
The most likely outcome is that he'll feel embarrassed, humiliated at his failure to remain hidden from you, to resist the temptation to be where he is to begin with. However, humiliation is one of the many, many roads to rage, a destination Joshua is already intimately familiar with. And he can be quite unpredictable when he acts out of anger.
For a long, long moment, he's completely frozen. He wants to flee, or fully combust and scatter himself on the wind. He's indignant. He wants to strangle you and dispose of your corpse so that you can't ever reveal to anyone just how debauched he is. More than anything, though, he wants to give in, to go to you and pin you down and feel every inch of your soft, sinful body against his own (a desire he hasn't been able to shake since the moment he met you, to his endless vexation). Despite how much it troubles him, he'll come a lot closer to doing so than he'd ever admit to anyone but God.
The actual events of his reaction unfold quickly, end just as quickly, and leave you struggling to even grasp what happened. He'll push himself into your space, grab you, corner you; whatever's easiest for him to do in the moment to feel like he's evened the playing field between the two of you. If he says anything at all, it'll be a borderline nonsensical string of harsh criticisms and inquisitions, peppered with strangely sweet praises and what you suspect are quotes from scripture, but he's eerily quiet at the start.
He'll touch you, half-experimentally, half-punitively, alternating careful, exploratory caresses with harsh slaps and pinches. Though he's never really demonstrated any capacity for tenderness or romance, he might kiss you a little. For some reason, that shocks you the most out of everything about his reply.
No matter how intense things get, though, he almost certainly won't actually fuck you, at least not right then. Though you may have something slipped inside you (maybe literally whatever is within reach), it won't be his cock. With a great deal of effort, he'll manage to pull himself away before things go too far (though his definition of "too far" may vary wildly from the general public's). He'll leave you wherever you are, worked up and worked over and shocked, avoid you when you return to the main part of the camp. But he can't stay away from you forever...or even for long, especially not after that. And, frankly, that fact pisses him off more than anything else. You shouldn't have this level of power over him, he tells himself, and he rapidly undulates between seeing you as something divine and something sent to personally destroy him. His obsession with you only intensifies, and it'll only be a matter of time before he has another lapse in self-control.
I do feel compelled to mention that there is a non-zero chance of him simply slapping the living shit out of you, instead, going into a full-on rage where he does nothing but berate you and hit you a few times. This outcome is a lot less likely than the former, as you'd have to catch him on an extra bad day, but he won't be any less horny about it. The adrenaline of blowing up at you in a way that he never allows himself to indulge in makes him hard, something he tries his best to ignore as he walks away from you. From there on, the events are largely the same, as he'll be even more fixated on you. You're just too tempting for him to deny.
Since you've been Joshua posting some more I need to add my cursed thought of him being into the whole Mormon soak thing. Just sticking his dick in you and not thrusting because it's technically not a sin and not actual sin. He's still being a proper born again.
I'm not sending this on Anon you know what I'm about
I had briefly mentioned soaking in one of the headcanon posts about Joshua and then promptly forgot about it for a while. I immediately filed this away for use in a long-form work when I got it, but I cannot in good conscious let this sit in my drafts for god-knows-how-long until I get around to it.
Figured I'd do a little blurb on it in the meantime, while I figure out what sort of story framework I want to use for a Josh long-form piece.
When Joshua first brings the idea up to you, you're more than amenable. The two of you have been "dating", or whatever the post-apocalyptic Mormon version of dating is, for a few months, maybe half a year, and the physical aspect of your relationship has been painfully slow to develop. Though the days you've spent together have been rather nice ones, there's a deep torment to how little physical intimacy (or even contact) you have. It feels like there's always a distance between you; he's always so close in proximity, but it never fails that he seems miles away.
Regardless of your excitement, you're still rather surprised that he'd even propose such a thing. Frankly, you're in doubt that things will go as he describes, with him only resting inside you for a bit so that the two of you can share a little contact without things going too far. Despite his insistence, you can feel the want coming off of him in waves when you're alone, and your own level of desire is rather equal.
You're pretty shocked at how things actually unfold once the two of you manage to find some time to sneak away.
When the day finally comes, the two of you hike to a private spot he likes to disappear to, the setting sun painting the endless sky in vivid red and magenta hues, and he pulls you into his lap. He doesn't trust himself to be on top of you.
Things proceed in about the same fashion you'd expected for a while, a little awkward, but with a heavy edge of unspoken excitement. The whole thing is still so surreal, though—going from nothing but furtive glances and lingering soft kisses to being sat in his lap with no pants on while he tussles with his belt buckle. The metal loop is cold against your thigh as it flops uselessly off to the side, and you giggle, wriggling at the feeling and lightly rubbing yourself against his crotch. The denim of his jeans is well-worn and soft against your skin. You can already feel how hard he is, and it ignites a hot desire in your gut like someone dropping a lit match onto an oil slick.
"None of that." he chastises, one wrapped hand kneading subtly at your ass cheek as he uses it to steady you.
Your cheeks are hot with mild embarrassment, but you nod, lower lip wedged between your teeth as you feel his other one move back between your bodies to contend with his fly. Despite the endless temptation, you do as you were told and keep your gaze fixed on his bandaged face, on those hauntingly blue eyes, as he frees himself and moves into position. He had made it very clear in your discussions before that you weren't allowed to see or touch him. Then again, you're no expert on the rules he follows, but you're not all that sure any of this is technically allowed.
Not that you're arguing.
Though you're throbbing and more ready than you think you've ever been in your life, it still sort of knocks the wind out of you when he sinks home in one fluid, almost brutal move. Neither of you have time to savor him pushing into you, and you suspect that's the intention. Your eyelids drop shut as you struggle to draw in a shaky breath, hands scrambling for purchase against his still cotton-clad chest. His name drips hotly, but softly, from your lips, and he lets out a truncated sigh that sounds suspiciously like a groan in reply.
When he reaches between your legs and starts touching you, your whole body jolts in surprise.
"Fuck." you huff, following it with a quick grimace as the expletive leaves your mouth. Typically, he would grouse at you for such language, but he's far too distracted by the other sounds that start to come from you as he continues his task. Eventually, you start to tiptoe closer and closer to an actual orgasm, every stroke of the rough, scarred pads of his fingers a hot prod against your tender flesh. You start to arc your hips against him just as you begin to spasm, just barely bouncing on him.
There's a huge part of Joshua that misses the days when he didn't care nearly as much about premarital sex being forbidden. It's a lot easier repress your sexual desires when you've simply never indulged them, as it turns out. Now, he has to desperately fight away the knowledge of just how much better he could feel if he only moved his hips, let you move yours, anything.
Instead, his fingers dig with bruising force into your hips as he forces your body to stall, every muscle in his own painfully tight with withheld energy.
"Stay still." he commands, and there's a mildly detectable strain in his voice that perks your ears up.
You freeze as best as you can, trying to look chastened in the hopes that he'll loosen his increasingly painful grip, but you can't stop the way your body occasionally pulses around him. He lets out a rather exasperated-sounding sigh of pleasure as it happens again, and again, dropping his bandaged face to your chest for a single beat as he re-gathers himself. Both of you can sense the strain pulling at the threads of his self-control, threatening to unravel him.
After a deep breath, he resumes rubbing you; gentler this time, though no less steadily.
Joshua knows he's playing a dangerous game. God could reach down to smite him once more at any moment for all but blatantly flouting his vows, but he's rapidly becoming lost in you, in the feeling of being close with someone. He could be burning all over again, aflame head to toe as his flesh charred and cracked, and he'd still struggle to pull away. The way you cling to him and sigh his name like you love him instead of fear him is addictive, and he's terrified of how the withdrawals will feel.
Maybe they'll be the thing that finally kills him.
He continues to rub and pluck at you steadily despite his struggles. Part of him wants the ego stroke of knowing he's making you feel good, but another part of him knows that feeling your soaked cunt flutter and tug around him over and over is the closest he'll get to cumming himself. Every harsh gasp and whimper that he draws from you as you crest your peak yet again pushes him closer and closer to the edge, but he refuses to let himself fall. Time sort of evaporates, the sun fully disappearing behind the rocky horizon as you both toe the line of full-on sin.
Joshua comes far too close to his own orgasm as your (third? fourth?) washes over you, his balls drawn up tight against his body as he throbs hard, but he has just enough remaining control over himself to eject you out of his lap. One hand cradles the back of your head, the other cushioning your ribs to blunt the impact against the hard ground. He allows himself to be pulled by your weight, hovering over you as his head spins.
This, too, is dangerous. Lingering above you, taking in your flushed face and heaving chest, all he wants to do is bury himself back inside of you and fuck you clear through the sandy stone beneath. Instead, he allows himself little but a slight nuzzle against your collarbone, a quick huff of your smell, before he reaches between you and tucks himself away, wincing slightly as he does.
You're quiet as you search around for your pants a moment later, legs unsteady like a little fawn. But you also steal glances at him over and over as you right yourself, he notices. He's rather distracted by the view as he tightens his belt once more.
His erection has deflated, but only slightly, loudly protesting being re-confined to the stiff prison of his jeans, but his throbbing cock isn't his only source of pain. The weeping flesh of his thighs and groin stings terribly from how long you sat in his lap, and he flexes the muscles there in an attempt to ease the sensation. The increasingly soiled bandages cling to the wounds, however, and even walking begins to hurt. There's no point in complaining or even bringing your attention to the matter, as he knows it'll hurt far worse later when he has to change said bandages.
However, the pain fades into a negligible dullness the moment you saddle up beside him, ready to make your way back to the camp by his side. He's studying your face, gaze unreadable as ever, when you slip your hand back into his. Typically, he's loath to be touched, but the grip of your palm in his feels easy, warm, and he tugs you a hair closer against his side as the two of you start your descent back towards the main foot path.
Neither of you says anything on your long walk back, but when it's time to turn in that night, he takes his place on the bedroll beside yours, wordlessly holding your hand while you both drift off.
hi i just wanted to say i LOVE lovelovelove how you write and how you keep your headcanons of how these ghouls would act as partners pretty damn realistic as compared to other writers ive read from. also i HEAVILY enjoy how you write dear old joshua graham and explore how him being a legate for ~30 years would affect his mentality. like yes hes god fearing and tries to do right by the bible but he was also the meanest bitch for a long time that evil doesnt just leave you once you decide to pick up a bible again. it has made me think about him in a whole new way and most of the ways i think about him now are even more debauched than before and for that i thank you. youre amazing never stop writing and sharing your writing! and i hope you recover quickly and as painlessly as possible from your covid
This is so sweet! Thank you so much. I do try hard to incorporate a lot of realism into my ideas (as much as one can have in a post-apocalyptic sci-fi setting, that is), mostly because I think it makes them at least a little easier to connect to. But I believe it also helps to distinguish the characters who don't get a lot of lines/screen time from one another when you make them feel a little more real.
I totally understand why fans who hate Joshua hate him, but he's just far too interesting a character in terms of his history and his perspective for me to not be at least a little obsessed with him. Plus, you know, the way he's clearly oozing that special brand of religious sexual repression and/or personal fear of intimacy that eventually leaves you a foaming-at-the-mouth freak. That's the shit I like, tbh.
I'd argue that one of the things that fuels Joshua's inner debauchery the most is how vehemently he denies it even exists. Yes, he admits to being an overtly bloodthirsty and angry person in the past (and I think he'd be pretty frank in divulging that he still deals with anger every single day), but how could he deny it? There's historical record of what a shitty, violent person he's been in the past. His personal perversions, however, he can completely deny the existence of as long as he can keep them under wraps/ignore them. It's when he meets someone who makes that denial difficult or impossible that things get both sexy and very messy.
There's no way that man wouldn't resent you at least a little for making him so horny all the time, even if he really likes and respects you as a person. More likely he'd resent you a lot. Joshua gets angry with you, not because of anything you've done, but because you prove to him that he's failed to purge himself of his uglier characteristics, those he deeply wishes he could just pray away: his punitive jealousy, his lust, his desire for control. He wants you deeply, but you also torment him.
Anyway, I'm never upset to hear that I've made someone look at a character differently (but in, like, an off-beat horny way). Thanks for reading!
