@radioactive-cloud - Tumblr Blog

did not expect the reason for the most gruesome disturbing and revolting crime i've ever read to be daddy issues and unrequited gay love

#the wolf and the watchman #man what a book #cannot say i necessarily enjoyed reading it but it for sure was captivating #which i've found is a common sentiment expressed in all like. 20 posts there are on this app and on any other about this book #anna stina and kristofer blix i feel maternal towards you #the inherent homoeroticism of being a sickly dying detective with a burly strong sidekick #and the red/blue thing they had going on in the graphic novel when they first met i know what you are cecil winge and jean mikel cardell #can't wait to get the next book from the library but also knowing there won't be this duo.....#bellman noir

wrote almost 10k words of a fic in a week and i'm not even halfway done based on the rough plan i have and i both have fun writing it and viscerally dislike every sentence i put on the page and i don't even know if i finish it

#it's the longest thing i've written so far already and it lowkey makes me scared

your twenties are for starting an animated tv series you were vaguely aware of as a child because you saw a couple of fanarts on twitter

#it's about avatar the last airbender #of which i know only the basics (controlling the elements)#and the couple i've been shown is sokka and zuko (zukka?)#of whom i only know that they're a blue and red coded ship which is always a win in my books #that's it #i'm having fun so far

june hayward from yellowface and coriolanus snow from the ballad of songbirds and snakes should have a gaslight-off

#the way both of them genuinely keep on believing they are good people as their stories progress is insane #just finished reading yellowface and i kept thinking “are you hearing yourself?”#even i a white girl from an eastern european country could see how blatantly racist most of her takes were #and coriolanus snow. the less is said about him the better #just a fun parallel to be made #yellowface rf kuang #tbosas #(read yf in ukrainian so i just realised that june's surname is hayward which is also a surname tom from the other bennet sister has)#(which is a funny coincidence)

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

the +1 portion of my latest fic btw

#if you even care #ngl i kinda cringed posting it #oh well whatever #the other bennet sister #marytom #ao3 fanfic

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

a mandatory 5+1 fic for your consideration

#did not think it would be written and yet here we are #the other bennet sister #marytom #ao3 fanfic

delusional enough to have had a thought that maybe the other bennet sister fics becoming my most popular ones so far is a sign that such love can happen to me too

#maybe i am asking for too much #those “40 and never had a boyfriend” tiktoks are looking more like my future tbh #i must say the other bennet sister was quite bittersweet for me because i saw that it could happen but still it won't happen to me #but hey at least i've got some validation from people on the internet for the stupid little things i wrote #silver lining and all that

i miss being an active part of a fandom and having things to say and interacting with people because now i feel like a lurker who posts a couple of posts or even fics of mediocre quality once in a blue moon but has some sort of mental block or something when it comes to actually engaging with stuff and connecting to people

#my guess is that's because i'm most likely boring and cringe and unsociable and have nothing of value to contribute to any discourse #why do i have to be a human with emotions #i want to be a tree #little would change actually because i very much feel rooted to one spot and probably rotten in places #but at least maybe i won't be feeling my inadequacy so acutely #i need to stop venting that's embarrassing

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

ahem. this somehow happened

#i have little excuses actually #the other bennet sister #mary bennet #tom hayward #marytom? tomary? whatever #ao3 fanfic

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

i'm like if mary bennet and penelope featherington were combined and didn't have any of their more interesting qualities so this was bound to happen i guess

#this turned out to be quite silly but also kinda wholesome in a way? idk #i just think they're neat #also there's an ungodly amount of ellipsis lol #ao3 fanfic #the other bennet sister #mary bennet #thomas hayward #marytom? tomary? whatever

binge watched the other bennet sister after getting a bunch of edits on my tiktok fyp and enjoyed it immensely and then went to look at the posts under the tag on tumblr and it seems that watching it without extensive knowledge of the original depiction of characters was a great idea idc

#i think i read pride and prejudice about five? years ago but i don't remember much and i haven't seen any adaptations #but i'm very fond of mary bennet after knowing her for a day and a half and not only because we share a first name #and now i can't wait for the second part ugh that's why i don't like starting unfinished things #the other bennet sister

radioactive-cloud

the promised new the amazing devil album comes out the first of march guys trust. you have to trust me guys i promise

radioactive-cloud

guess i should have specified the yeah huh

#it's not like i'm desperate for a new album or anything it's totally fine and cool and alright that it's not out yet #the amazing devil

the promised new the amazing devil album comes out the first of march guys trust. you have to trust me guys i promise

#if not i will be in your walls joey batey and madeleine hyland you hear me #man i just want to feel something and laugh and cry and travel into the woods spiritually and become a god #am i asking for too much?#the amazing devil #tad

radioactive-cloud

got invited to a birthday party so i'll spend the next two weeks anxious over the fact that the only person i'll know there is the one who invited me

radioactive-cloud

listened to drinking song for the socially anxious at least five times today but i survived and felt embarrassed and out of place only 95% of the time instead of 100% and it can be said that i had fun so overall it was quite a positive experience

#still felt at times like i stuck out like a sore thumb but oh well at least i can relax now and maybe not indulge in overthinking

it's dark and damp and foggy outside and i feel like my heart is being squeezed and like i'm the greatest disappointment in the universe and a total failure of a human and like i just want to crawl in the hole and fall asleep for centuries

#i'll probably just cry while listening to music tonight because that's all i can afford #having no electricity for at least seven hours at a time multiple times a day for several months really fucks with your brain huh #and being unable to find a job for months with a degree that i've studied for and being a burden and a disappointment of the highest order #got electricity while typing all this so at least there's that (not that it'll be here for longer than a few hours so)#it's all so pathetic and stupid

rip jaskier you would've loved buckle by florence and the machine

#haven't watched the latest season of the witcher (and any season of the witcher in a long time)#but somehow i find myself reading geraskier fanfiction in year of our lord 2026 as god intended #the first fandom i wrote somewhat serious fics for btw #(albeit in the language that shall not be named which i'm not proud of but i was like. 16 and stupid)#anyway #that's jaskier's song if i ever heard one

got invited to a birthday party so i'll spend the next two weeks anxious over the fact that the only person i'll know there is the one who invited me

#i'll have to do small talk and be social and be reminded of how deeply dull and uninteresting i am #and probably feel alone in a crowd or something #but also it may be fun to go out for once and maybe it'll turn out to be something good or at least decent idk #god how do people do this #how do they live their lives so easily

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