‘ Would you let it go? It’s not that big a deal ‘
‘ Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are ‘
‘ Multiple orgasms! ‘
‘ Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling ‘
‘ What’s the matter? Why so scrunchy? ‘
‘ Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady ‘
‘ Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her ‘
‘ Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? ‘
‘ He’s smart, he’s sophisticated, and he has a real job ‘
‘ Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too ‘
‘ I’m tellin’ you, this guy is perfect for you ‘
‘ Oh, god help us ‘
‘ I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please? ‘
‘ This is a date. You’re going on a date ‘
‘ So what’re you saying here? I should shave again, pick up some wine, what? ‘
‘ Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time she’s gonna see your underwear—you want it to be dirty? ‘
‘ Where are they? Where are they? ‘
‘ This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us ‘
‘ Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day ‘
‘ All right, show’s over. Nothing to see here ‘
‘ It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight ‘
‘ It’s just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed ‘
‘ Ok, here we go. I don’t think we should go out anymore ‘
‘ All right, all right, it’s just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everything’s kinda pink ‘
‘ I’m sorry, please don’t be upset, it could happen to anyone ‘
‘ All right, look, I’m not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little ‘
‘ Wait, wait, wait. You want him, I want her. He likes you ‘
‘ I’m thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up ‘
‘ Oh, my god, I’m so sorry. Are you ok? ‘
‘ This is the worst break-up in the history of the world ‘
‘ Does it still hurt? ‘