professional worst case scenario

internal damnation || He/She/They, 20

[impormable]

Old dude came in the shop and when I said "lemme know if you have any questions" he goes "what was the name of Alexander the Great's horse," thinking he was so funny. I told him Bucephalus, and he was so disappointed. Like his whole day was hanging on beating me at trivia. He says "you're only the second person who knew that" and I said "well, probably the third if you count Alexander the Great." He left without buying anything, and did not say goodbye. I think I honestly hurt his weird little feelings! Sorry I'm a bitch, old man!

[rolaren-deactivated20190821]

don’t judge me for this

[buttpoems]

[valtsv]

you know what i miss??? sand animals

[valtsv]

would you accept these soft, funky little dudes into your heart?

[dailyraccoons]

[19863]

not to be negative but someone really spent all that time and energy cutting open a pomegranate and then gave it to a (cute) raccoon?

[pythiaproject]

It’s called Love .

[unclefather]

And him loves it

[literalnobody]

[lamignonette]

Audrey Wollen via Lauren Spencer King

[normal-horoscopes]

This high art is completely indistinguishable from a quality shitpost and I cannot quite describe the sheer existiential satisfaction and calm I am feeling right now

[teathattast]

[mias-back-from-the-dead]

SO IT TURNS OUT THE ORIGINAL BITTENBINDER STREET SMARTS THING IS UP ON YOUTUBE

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

its the middle of th night and therefor time to watch this again

[rad-roach]

God I love crocs and their entire family tree so much. These are animals that have remained virtually the same for millions of years-pretty much as close to “perfect” as you can get in nature-and this highly optimized body plan is just. A fat sausage with a mouth at one end and chubby baby arms.

This is what peak performance looks like.

[whitepeopletwitter]

[karmawasteland]

goes to a cemetary only to get punned by dead people

[thebibliosphere]

Okay but ETD and I now have new after life goals…

[post--grad]

i am absolutely dragging myself through grading my last 6 papers, it is 9:30pm, and one of my favorite students has just used the phrase “Satan and his Gucci gang” in his milton essay

[post--grad]

[11rooks]

Give Hector an A

[jewishdragon]

[rafawriter]

[sirowlington]

demolished

[obviouslypancakes]

Gottem!

[whyisthisfrenchguymasturbating]

i went to fact check this and he literally is

[celero-loves-dragons]

fuck them up philip

[yesterdaysprint]

The Sketch, England, October 28, 1931

[fozzie]

the only 2 good opinions:

1. jesse from pokemon is a lesbian and james from pokemon is a gay man

2. jesse from pokemon is a lesbian and james from pokemon is a lesbian as well