You Don't Get It

I'm Rainbow Lucifer. She/they, 29 // ED, trauma (sexual + emotional abuse), drugs, etc. // OSDD1b system ---- I mostly post ED stuff, possibly trauma stuff/general mental illness stuff, and I'll follow back similar blogs.

[stickandthorn]

I’d die on the hill that “stranger danger” is a deeply unhelpful mentality to have. “Ooooh everyone is out to get me they’re all gonna perpetrate harm that’s actually more likely to come from someone I already know. I better never talk to anyone in my community who I don’t already know, just to be safe. I’m sure there are no other biases interwoven with this mentality” like oh my god human traffickers do not just randomly spawn in every parking lot. You don’t have to go solo hitchhiking across the country but you also don’t have to live in fear that every guy on the street is the knife man who’s gonna get you. Like have situational awareness, yeah. But most of the time the guy on the street is not knife man he’s actually just a guy on the street and he’s probably pretty chill, and you’re driving yourself crazy by living in a constant state of unnecessary fear.

[lastoneout]

Also living in a constant state of fear raises your cortisol and that is way more likely to kill or permanently disable you than any random dude on the street. Being stressed out all the time is really bad for you, and in this case—from someone with OCD that makes me afraid of strangers—trust me, it's not worth it. No amount of fear will ever keep you safe, and in fact in some cases it will put you in more danger than you were before.

[letsmakepoppunkgreatagain]

Bring Me The Horizon - liMOusIne

[seeyouinthecosmos]

need everyone to get more normal about people with low empathy. there's this really prevalent pushback to the stereotype that "autistic people have low empathy and are therefore uncaring and mean" that "erm actually autistic people are more likely to have high empathy + we r super kind and caring" alright well some of us do have low empathy and that doesn't make us evil. having empathy does not make you a good person. the dog that weeps after it kills is no better than one that does not. your actions are what define you.

everyone's a mental health or disability advocate until someone has a symptom they don't personally think is morally good. don't even get me started on the way people act about cluster b personality disorders. every time "narcissist" or "sociopath" is used as a synonym for "bad person" a fairy dies.

[pussyhoundspock]

joining the war on kids reading any book they want on the side of kids reading any book they want. simply you will be fine. it's even good to be confronted with things you don't understand and even find upsetting, uncomfortable and difficult. it's a surprise tool that will help you later.

[nonevahed]

prev tags:

literally ok so not a funny story but kind of funny? when I was nine I encountered rape in a book and I was like hey mom what’s this mean and she explained it and I was like oh. gross. and then like two weeks later a girl on the bus abruptly disclosed her csa and we were all like ????? what ???? but I was like wait hang on there’s a word for that ☝️🤓 and explained what it meant and that it was illegal and that you could talk to a teacher or my mom if it had happened to you and everyone was like ohhhhh I see I see and very somberly comforted the girl (she was safe she was removed from her home and living with my neighbor at the time so it wasn’t Urgent)

[zarohk]

And this is a perfect illustration of why it is important for kids to read or variety of things, and why abusers don’t want them to.

[traumatizeddfox]

i want to think he wasn’t as cruel as he truly was. that maybe some part of him actually felt bad, felt remorse for the pain he caused me, but i’m more afraid that he really is just cruel and it’s just as simple as that. i don’t know what’s worse? him hurting me and feeling remorse but continuing to abuse me? or him being so vile that he just is.. that. vile.

[rubysapphrald]

i feel so defensive and protective of people with ARFID like if i had a disorder that made my brain register 90% of food as poison for no reason and i had a bazillion people on the internet constantly calling me a manchild who needs to just grow up and stop being a picky eater i would start killing people

[rubysapphrald]

people with ARFID and people with very few autism safe foods and people with contamination OCD and people in ED recovery and everyone else with a complicated relationship with food that no one takes seriously GET BEHIND ME!!!!!!!

[shadow-daughter]

a large part of AFRID is centered around food-contamination thoughts. Bread is challenging, it molds. Fresh produce is challenging, especially before you have the experience to confidently say whether or not it's still good. Eggs? Dairy? Fresh meat? You wind up eating a lot of frozen or preserved foods, and highly processed foods, and greasy foods, because at least you know that they aren't going to have gone off without you noticing. And then THAT starts making you sick, because it's bad for you as a dietary staple, which reinforces the idea that food can just randomly harm you. I'm finally, finally, at the point where I rarely eat preprocessed food, after half a decade of actively working to broaden my list of safe foods. But it was miserable work, getting here.

[screenshotsofdespair]

[fairycosmos]

big life tips dont be neurodivergent dont be poor dont get in any sort of situation and dont let yourself need or crave

[fairycosmos]

not getting good reports back on your progress with this guys

[wren-kitchens]

happy disability pride month and once again, FUCK lazy subtitles. fuck the [speaks foreign language] instead of actually transcribing the words, fuck shortening sentences and changing whats been said for no reason, fuck censoring swearing in captions but not in audio and fuck anyone who says youre being 'too sensitive' for being upset about a lack of accessibility

[letsmakepoppunkgreatagain]

Knuckle Puck - Your Back Porch

[letsmakepoppunkgreatagain]

Movements - Where I Lay

[missmentelle]

Abusers don’t come with warning labels.  Abusers don’t hit you on the first date. They don’t write “I will humiliate and belittle you” on their Tinder profiles. They don’t wear “I break things to intimidate my partner” t-shirts. People don’t get trapped in damaging relationships because they saw an abuser coming from 20 yards away and decided “I’m going to date that person anyway”. That’s not how any of this works.  In the beginning, abusers can be some of the most thoughtful, attentive people you’ll ever meet. They’re obsessed with you; that’s what makes them so toxic and deadly as time goes on. Abusers buy you flowers. They remember your birthday. They remember to text you “good morning” and “good night”. They listen to your problems, confide in you and share silly inside jokes. They can keep that “loving, doting partner and best friend” mask in place for months or years if they have to.  So the first time they scream at you or hit you, you don’t see an abuser. You see your best friend, your confidante, the person who brought you soup when you were sick and always laughs at your stories about your nutty coworker. You tell yourself they just had a bad day. Maybe they were tired, sick, hungry, or under a lot of stress. You know them. You’ve made a life with them. And they’re so sorry and so ashamed of what they did. This isn’t who they are.  And so things go back to back to normal for a while. Wonderful, even. This is still one of the best relationships you’ve ever been in, even counting that one incident. You go back to date nights, cozy nights in and 5-hour-long conversations that feel effortless. And then it happens again.  And you still don’t see an abuser. You see the person who means the most to you in the whole world. You decide that maybe they’re just struggling. Maybe they have mental health issues. They’ve told you every horrible thing that’s ever happened to them as a child, and maybe it has something to do with that. But either way, they’re not an abuser. Not yet. They’re just a person who needs you more than ever.  Then things are good for a while. Then something bad happens. Then it’s good again. Then it’s bad. Good. Bad. Good. Bad. And every time it happens, it gets a little harder to get out. The time you’ve invested in the relationship goes up, and your self-esteem goes down. By the time you realize that, yes, the person you thought you knew is an Abuser with a capital A, you’re in deep. You’re a frog that stood in a pot of water so long it turned you into soup before you even noticed it was getting a little warm. But you didn’t ask for this. And you certainly didn’t know it was coming.  We have this image in our heads of what abusers must look like. We picture brawny men with low foreheads and stained white tank tops, screaming at their wives while they drink beer in front of the TV. We think they’re like wildlife, as if we could spot them with the help of a guidebook and know to stay far away from them. But they’re not. Abusers can be anyone. They can be female. They can be accomplished. They can be well-groomed. Queer. Politically far-left. Politically far-right. Artists. Athletic. Charitable. Intelligent. They can come from any walk of life, any spot on the gender spectrum, any religion, any background. It’s not the abused person’s fault for not spotting them - they can’t always be spotted. It’s the abuser’s fault for abusing. 

[murderofsomeone]

I need to make something really elaborate and cool (doesn't move

[fairycosmos]

this too shall pass is a great mantra for both small worries and huge life events but i fear i am “this too shall pass”-ing away my whole life

[approvers]

[starvedcorpses]

being disordered and painfully feminist at the same time feels like being a fraud. I want the best for all women and will fight all beauty standards and gender norms but i dont apply it to myself.

[fairycosmos]

i would implement that into my core belief system if it reflected the reality of the situation at hand. but it doesnt. so i wont. anyway 1 large iced coffee please