The Vag chronicles of a Trans man

I'm a queer trans man and this is where I'm going to mainly talk about my cunt and possibly other awkward trans man body issues personal to me.

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

My dead vagina is so annoying

Cn: Sex, genitals, effects of testosterone, Ok so like, real talk folk. I’ve broken up with my partner who I always topped so I haven’t been using my vagina for over a year as a fuck hole and now I’m single again and I want to bottom and it’s like now I have to start re-using that vagina hormone cream 3 times a day because my vagina atrophies and dies because of testosterone  and like uuuuuuuuuuuuugh. I just wish my genitals were less complex so I can have rebound sex already 

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

I started sertraline (zoloft) today and thank god for tumblr because the pharmacy gave it me in a box without a leaflet on side affects and I was wondering if it was my ibs that was making me feel so sick today but apparently nausea is a common symptom. I should totally go and ask the pharmacy for the proper packaging so I can see all the official stuff. So annoying.

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

That awkward moment when your sex friend oversteps the Cis ally mark but you enjoy sex with them so you just ignore it....

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

Femme boi realness

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

Can people just not?

Can my body not be a topic of conversation? Can people not ask questions like “how far into the process are you?” or “how far into changing are you?”, and you know what if you ask something over the line don’t then say “oh I was just curious” so then I have to calm the situation down and make you feel better so I don’t seem like a uppity tranny with a stick up his butt. Guess what? NOBODIES body is your business to ask about or even up for discussion unless you’re planning on having sex with them.

If I’m on grindr and someone asks me I figure you know what it’s fair enough for this person to know I have a vagina and that I don’t have breasts, otherwise nah. You have no right to ask me about it and you have no right to be curious about it. You can fuck right off with your ‘innocent’ curiosities. If I don’t bring it up DON’T ASK.

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

Just Trans guy things on Grindr

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

Housemate: IF YOU THROW THAT AT ME ILL STEAL ALL YOUR SPECIAL VAGINA CREAM WHEN YOURE OUT OF THE HOUSE SO YOU CAN NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN

shit just got real

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

My vagina is vomiting blood

So seeing as the menopause has settled in nicely like my evil uninvited grandma my vagina has decided to be a delicate little flower and required me to have a course of special cunt cream to get it to stop dying and apparently that was straight up meant to fix it, which it did for a while but I had sex today and apparently I have to use it again because while I didn't notice much pain or discomfort during sex now I'm bleeding like a stuck pig and it's quite painful down there. Don't worry vagina it's not like I wanted an active sex life you just do your own thing don't mind me.

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

I love my new hair :D

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

Nurses and testosterone(nebido)

Me: You might want to warm it up in your hands first, it has the viscosity of maple syrup Nurse: Oh it doesn't seem that bad ....... *tries to draw it up into the syrindge* Ok yeah I take that back, this is going to take a while

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

Do we just not talk about this?

So testosterone destroyed my vagina, maybe it was the menopause, who knows. The point is no one ever told me about this, all I ever heard was that you can have some problems with lubrication and trust me that is not a problem I have. What has happened is that the skin in my vagina has atrophied and now if I want to have penetrative sex I have to use an oestrogen cream to fix it every now and then. And even with that it still can't take what it used to, and has to be treated gently which honestly is pretty lame. I like my cunt, I like having it, I like having sex using it and it is honestly heart breaking knowing that that's going to be forever harder for me. What I also don't understand is why this isn't spoken about, all of my trans guy friends have had similar problems and were as shocked as me. I feel like this is shit we need to prepare for you know? I sometimes wonder if I go off testosterone if it will make it better, but even the idea of undoing my fat redistribution makes me anxious. I'm starting to realise now (four years Into my transition) that medical transition is a serious of compromises you make with your dysphoria.

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

Abuse isn't just other peoples issues

TW Abuse, sexual assault

I take issue with a lot of campaigning aimed at reducing abuse because so much of it is looking outwards. So often I've seen people who yell about consent talking about everyone but themselves, talking about what others should do without reflecting inwards. I have seen and continue to see so many people talk about having a zero tolerance policy for abusers be the people who control and manipulate and touch people without their permission, who prey on new people in a space, call dibs on people like they're possessions, point out how many people they've slept with in a room and talk about them like they're discarded trash and act as though their sexual aggression is actually empowerment.

When you only talk about others and don't reflect inwards you create an “other” group, one that is out of your reach and is full of monsters. To stop abuse it is everybody's responsibility to look at their own actions as well as looking outwards.

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

deleted

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

Trans* people in Brighton and Hove UK listen up!

Calling all Trans* people who work, learn, socialise or use services in the Brighton and Hove area! The next phase of the Trans* scrutiny panel is commencing and it needs people to fill out this survey and give feedback! If you use the word trans* as part of your identity and connect with the community in Brighton and Hove in any way it is SO important you fill this out. If you come to a support group, a club night, travel here to see friends, attended trans* pride please fill this out! The council WILL be held accountable to the issues raised in this survey. This is completely groundbreaking work and is so important. Have I mentioned that this is super important? PLEASE REBLOG

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/JHXS7WB

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

Goddammit

I was trimming up my pubic hair trying to be all fancy now I've broken up with my boyfriend (well, he broke up with me more specifically) and was going at them with my beard trimmer but was doing it so casually didn't put the guard on and WHOOPS slipped and had a big bald patch, so then had to shave the rest of the area to match, but then like, what do you do with your thigh hair? Gradient it to match?! Shave my WHOLE BODY to match that tiny area of my body that's now cold and lonely? Fucking effort man. Let's just hope it grows quickly. 

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

People are awful

CW: brief mention of abuse

"I hate the "I <3 Consent" campaign, I don't love consent, I demand it!"

Said by someone who kissed me on the mouth as a greeting and continued to touch me and aggressively hit on me all night. The loudest and most extreme in their beliefs - whatever those beliefs are - tend to be massive hypocrites.

I'm so done with "activists" who use activism as an excuse to hide their abusive behavior, and I have met more then my share of those people.

[rainbowcuntboyfeelingsandshit]

My nipples are nippling so hard

I'm approximately 3 months post chest surgery (had to  check the calender, time is hard) and last night whilst spending special fun time with my boyfriend I had to stop mid activity to bring attention to the fact that MY NIPPLES WERE TRYING TO GET HARD. They were trying super hard. They weren't quite there yet but they were really going for it. Luckily my boyfriend was pretty excited and sat there poking my nipples for a little bit and didn't mind the interruption.

I still have no sensation in them apart from the occasional pain which more comes from the flesh behind them, but I think this bodes well!