Lily💜

Lily. 19. Car Enthusiast. Stoner. Weird As Hell. You'll Probably Find Porn Somewhere In Here. I'm Fringe Trash. Bi Sexual. Capricorn. Law Is My Passion. Probably Torturing Someone With My Piccolo^-^ Music Is My Life. Snapchat: lilyvictoria69 Follow Me And I Follow Back :)

[fairycosmos]

i was so angry at everything when i was 13. and i was right

[starriersaint]

bitches say they're fine and then scream the "I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all" in bohemian rhapsody louder than everyone else

[lmaonade]

sometimes when i’m cooking i adjust the heat a little but for no discernible reason. just because it matches the vibes to do so

[dumbledorathexplora]

i finished my christmas list i can’t wait

$ 1,000,000 in cash

boyfriend

the souls of those who have displeased me this year

another boyfriend in case my other one escapes

money

[santa]

We need to talk

[bloodsisters-deactivated2023013]

Underrated part of womanhood is realizing you’re just like. allowed to go outside looking like shit

[veeranger]

if you or a loved one have been diagnosed with sleepy bitch disease you may be entitled to

[24hrsoda]

Eddie: ew a parasite

Venom: ew a depressed piece of shit

Eddie:

[door-maker-gal]

I hate how on Tumblr, a username like lisa486 is almost certainly a pornblot, while someone named solidsnakesasscheeks is almost certainly a real person

[solidsnakesasscheeks]

I could be a porn bot if I wanted to

[tx-fns]

DONT FORGET TO REGISTER TO VOTE!!! Look up your state and make sure you are registered. Tell your friends please!!! 

[conquerorwurm]

One of my favorite things to see is random people trying to interact with unfamiliar outdoor cats. Just standing there with a hand out, making kissy noises, maybe meowing at the cat while it ignores them. Mankind at its best and least dignified

[combeferret]

#stop calling me out

[jumpingjacktrash]

if you want to interact with a cat that doesn’t know you, sit down not facing it. glance at it occasionally and make an inviting noise, but mostly just play with your phone or whatever.

the cat will almost certainly come over to check you out sooner or later. it’ll stay out of arm’s reach because it doesn’t know if you’re a jerk. offer your hand and let the cat sniff. wait. if the cat wants pettins, it will indicate that by noofing your hand, flopping on its side, or coming in close.

the cat may want to be bros but not get pettins. in that case, it will sit or lie near you but out of reach. this is friendly! the cat is saying, you’re a person in my neighborhood! hi neighbor!

of course, it’s possible that the cat is a great big cuddleslut and will come love all over you. that happens too. but if it doesn’t, that doesn’t mean it’s an unfriendly cat. be chill and let the cat choose how close to get, and you’ll find most cats are pretty friendly.

[alittleflare]

The only information that matters

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

gifted student™ brains are about as functional as horses when you get right down to it 

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

which sounds like a shit post but consider: horses? hypothetically MADE for running. look at this magnificent muscle beasts. look at those legs. they must be so good at running, right? wrong. horses are fragile as fuck. horses break their gotdamn legs so so easily, and if they break their legs you just have to fucking shoot them. if they run, the thing they are MADE FOR, too fast their lungs will start bleeding. I just googled horses to see if I was missing anything and apparently if they lie down for a day their organs start collapsing or something so they can’t rest from their One Horse Purpose even when they’re hurt. they’re made to do one thing but they can only do it under Very Specific Conditions and if a single thing changes they just die.

 which, you know. gifted students™ get applauded for being naturally smart when we’re five or whatever and then develop a terrible inflated sense of self that makes us highly averse to anything we’re not naturally good at, because it challenges our fragile childbrain egos and if we wait too long we’ll develop mental fences around entire subjects and skillsets (mine are math and studying) because we think we’re Bad at them, when in reality we just need to practice but are frustrated by that because it’s harder than being ~naturally talented~ was. we get applauded for doing One Thing but the second we run into slightly different things that our brains don’t comprehend as readily? it’s a Bad Time. I still have so much anxiety over things I don’t feel Naturally Talented at that I’ve been sitting here writing this post for like 10 minutes rather than read the feedback on my religion paper. I got a 100% on it, but I’m still That Scared of anything other than straight heaps of praise because that’s what my childbrain was acclimated to. just send me to the glue factory already. 

[wearywater]

I…..I needed to hear this

[batmanisagatewaydrug-deactivate]

that’s intriguing because this is not a particularly happy or uplifting post but I hope that whatever you got out of it was positive and that it could be a good thing for you

[dangerously-human]

Sometimes it’s incredibly freeing to hear that other people are familiar with a feeling. No falsely spun cheery “positivity” needed.

[thotcoin]

What the fuck are horses

[donutdrawsthings]

IMPORTANT!

It’s the no-internet dinosaur’s birthday!!

Turn off your internet! He has a hat!!

[donutdrawsthings]

[kaedien]

americans think ABSOLUTELY NOTHIN of driving 7 hours. they’ll drive 7 hours just for dinner. they’ll drive 7 hours just for chips and dip

[verssupremacy]

My friend in the UK told me that they only see their father like 2-3 times a year because they live so far away. When I asked how far do they live, they said that it’s a 45 minute drive……. my commute to work, five days a week is an hour.

[neopoints]

me n the girls walkin into target headed straight to the clearance bread rack

[jerryterry]

[tamascotchi-deactivated20190101]

jerrod how long did it take you to photoshop all that bread

[jerryterry]

Did it the lazy easy way: 

It may be less than stellar, but I have a strict personal rule: “don’t put longer than 30 minutes’ effort into a fetish joke”. The second you hit 30:01, the exposure becomes lethal and the fetish becomes unironic.

[nyawave]

FETISH?????????

[mias-back-from-the-dead]

god i wish i were you

[nyawave]

this post ruined my life. everyone thinks im a innocent child because i overreacted on purpose for humor. ive gotten so many messages calling me a smol innocent bean. please let me die.

[cntnd]

Someone: *treats me badly*

Me: *forgives them immediately*

Me 2 weeks later, eyes snapping open at 3 am: you know what?? I’m mad at you.

[pools-of-venetianblue]

this is the purest video you will see all day, it includes not only practical advice on how to make cats feel comfortable but also:

the most patient and long suffering clawdia

bob ross, but a vet 

squish the cat

squish the cat, but with a towel

absolute unit mr. pirate

a little chubby but quite beautiful

please watch this immediately

[bodecats]

Squish! That! Cat!

[yournewapartment]

I consider myself to be well versed on cats/communicating with cats. I’ve lived with at least two cats my whole life, and currently live with two very different cats who I love. Apparently most cats are shoulder cats? My cat Mason has always been very nervous about going up on people’s shoulders, so I thought I’d try the “shoulder cat” technique.

I had to help him up on my shoulders because he’s never done it himself before. But once I got him up there I squished him, he started purring like nobody’s business. I carried him around our entire apartment, up and down staircases, and he was so happy. He didn’t try to leave once! When I put him down he head butted me and meowed and was super affectionate. And of course I gave him a treat.

TLDR- Even if you live with cats and think you understand cats, please watch this video. 

[camembertlythere]

My bubba didn’t like to be held at all until he realized he liked being a shoulder cat and since then he wants to be carried around and cuddled all of the time. ALL of the time. A l l o f t h e t i m e. Be aware you may never be allowed to put your cat down again.

[grilledcheesesamus]

god sure knew what she was doing when she made boobs

[grilledcheesesamus]

god, when she first made boobs: “bounce bounce am I right”