Rainy Day Ray

My name is Ray, and I am a 33 year old biochemist and teacher. My pronouns they/them or he/him, and I am FTM agender/asexual/aromantic. I like fuzzy things and sunshine and rainy days and chocolate. Positive motivation blog most of the time. Some personal posts about bipolar depression and autism and OCD and EDNOS and gender things. All sad/depressed/just generally negative personal posts will be tagged as "I'm complaining again", so please block this tag if you only want to see positive posts.

[rainsfriend]

PSA about this blog

I mostly reblog positivity, mental health recovery, and actuallyautistic content. But sometimes I use this space as a place to vent about my mental heath struggles and dealings with an abusive parent. 

I do my best to tag all my personal negativity as #I’m complaining again. I do this to make it easier to block this content if you don’t want to see it/find it triggering. I will not be offended if you block this tag or unfollow me at any point! Please keep yourselves safe and do what’s right for you!!

[canipleasehavefood]

[respectissexy]

One thing that has made me a much more well-adjusted person is a clip I once saw of Hank Green saying that anyone can be in amazing shape as long as being in amazing shape is one of their top three priorities.

(This is obviously a generalization that isn't true for everyone. But it is true for most people and I'm proceeding from there.)

This "top three priorities" framing has genuinely reduced my tendency toward jealousy and self-comparison a lot. Now when I feel envious of someone’s spotless, aesthetic home, I think to myself, “Having a spotless, aesthetic home is probably one of their top three priorities. It’s definitely not one of mine, so I shouldn’t expect my home to look like that.”

Or when I see an influencer with a body that takes a ton of work to maintain: “Maintaining that body is obviously one of her top three priorities, because it’s her livelihood. My livelihood is my brain, so I’m never going to prioritize my body like that.”

It also helps me to identify areas that I actually DO want to prioritize more. I realized in recent years that my envy for my friends who prioritized writing more than I did was NOT going away, so I started to prioritize writing more. (Not top three, but higher priority than it has been in the past.)

[respectissexy]

I love doing notes for therapist-posting on tumblr because I get tags like this.

[lotuspositivity]

I promise that things will get better. Hang in there. Sometimes living takes a ton of effort, but it is worth it, even if it doesn't seem that way.

[rainsfriend]

Accountability post:

There's not much left of today, but before bed I WILL

Take my dog outside

Take my medication

Drink some hot chocolate

Read either my book or some manga

Listen to music

Working hard with my psych to get my meds sorted out. It'll be a bumpy ride, but I really do hope it ends up all right in the end

[succubusboyfriend]

are you “adaptable” or are you just willing to subject yourself to existing in low key background-level ambient misery

[batsandboba]

“scientists don’t want you know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because if you actually meet a scientist they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know

[gentlewordsdaily]

Some reasons to stay:

Not because life is always beautiful. Not because everything magically works out. Not because your pain is not real.

But because feelings can change more than they seem capable of changing when you are inside them.

Because there are moments you have not reached yet that might make staying feel worth it, even quietly. Moments where your chest does not feel this heavy. Moments where you laugh without forcing it. Moments where you realize you made it through something you once thought would completely break you.

Because exhaustion can convince you that nothing will ever soften again, even when that is not true.

Because you deserve the chance to experience a version of life that feels gentler than this one.

Because there are still people you have not met yet who would care about you deeply. People who would understand parts of you that others missed. People who would be glad you stayed long enough to know them.

Because one terrible period of your life does not automatically define your entire future.

Because you are allowed to outlive the version of yourself that feels hopeless right now.

Because healing is not always dramatic or obvious. Sometimes it is just slowly noticing that something hurts a little less than it used to. Sometimes it is surviving long enough for the fog to thin out a little.

Because even now, there is still a part of you searching for comfort. Searching for reassurance. Searching for reasons. And that part deserves to be listened to too.

Because you are not weak for being overwhelmed by life. Some people have been carrying pain quietly for so long that of course they become tired. Of course they start wondering if they can keep doing this.

But tiredness is not proof that your life is meaningless. Pain is not proof that you are beyond help or beyond softness.

And maybe right now, forever feels impossible to think about. That is okay. You do not have to promise forever.

Maybe all you need to do tonight is stay.

Stay through the feeling.

Stay through the heaviness.

Stay long enough to let tomorrow arrive.

That is enough for now. Truly 🤍

[vexheart]

just in case no one tells you today…..you’re worth having around. you’re worth committing to. you’re worth appreciating. you’re worth loving… you're worth reassuring. you're worth risking it all for. you're worth everything...

[allsadnshit]

Half of becoming a functional adult after a traumatized childhood is literally just believing your own emotions judgement and opinions

Otherwise you will be emotionally stuck every time you need to make literally any decision

[achillesinhighheels]

Training my nervous system to choose an unfamiliar heaven instead of a familiar hell

[hashtagmyfood]

sometimes recovery is “im bringing a yogurt drink with me today instead of not eating till dinner” instead of “three meals a day and snacks” and that’s okay. you can be proud of your yogurt drink

[lxgstad]

You are important! Every single person that reads this has a value and I love you and your every flaw.

Buy these as stickers on my redbubble: http://rdbl.co/1LYFUfn

[jovishark]

some advice for people entering their 20s:

-dont go to the emergency room with dental problems. go to the dentist

-bagged greens are cheaper than pre-made salads

-taco bell is NOT worth the money anymore. 1/4 cup mayo, 1/4 cup sour cream, 3 tblspoons pickled jalapenos+2tblspoons of the jar liquid, 2 tsp paprika 1 tsp cumin 1 tsp garlic powder 1 tsp onion powder salt+pepper. all in your blender. creamy jalapeno sauce

-dont quit your job unless you have a bunch of job interviews lined up immediately after

-use resources. food bank, unemployment, housing assistance, financial aid, etc. yes there will be paperwork. but Do It

-dont stay awake longer than 20 hours. you Will start to become impulsive and cranky. resting for 20 minutes is better than trying to stay awake

-for every 2 hours you spend looking up close at screens, spend 20 minutes looking at something far away from you. stretch your wrists a lot

-dont do that yoga stretch where you roll your head around your shoulders. youre grinding down the joints in your neck

-be nice to your friends, bullying them as a joke gets old. if you need a ride somewhere at least offer them gas money

-brush your teeth at any time of the day but especially before you sleep. dont snack in bed if you can help it. make your bed the Clean Teeth Zone. keep floss picks by your bed

-dont tell your boss youre adhd/autism/depression/suicidal. dont trust your coworkers with that. you NEVER know how people will take it and its none of their business

-train your pets to go to the front door when they hear a fire alarm

-get regular oil changes

[thepeacefulgarden]

[thepeacefulgarden]

[gentlewordsdaily]

Not everything needs to be fixed tonight.

I know your mind is trying to go through everything at once. Every problem, every mistake, everything that feels unfinished or uncertain. It makes it feel urgent, like you need to figure it all out right now or it will only get worse.

But you are allowed to slow down.

You do not have to solve your entire life in one night. You do not have to find answers to everything that is weighing on you. Some things can wait. Some things need time, not pressure.

It makes sense that you feel overwhelmed when everything is piling up in your head like this. Anyone would feel like that.

But this moment does not require you to fix everything. It just asks you to get through it.

You can take things one step at a time. One thought at a time. One breath at a time.

You are allowed to pause without falling behind. You are allowed to rest without everything collapsing.

The things that matter will still be there tomorrow. And you might be able to face them with a little more clarity, a little more energy, a little more steadiness.

For now, it is enough to slow down.

You do not have to carry everything all at once 🤍