Hi Cassie! I read TID about a month ago and I just recently finished TMI, and I loved them!! I had a question about Tessa and Jem. I’m not implying that Tessa loves Will more than Jem, but when does Tessa actually develop feelings for Jem? I didn’t see any signs of her thinking of Jem in a romantic way until that scene in Clockwork Prince where they make out. — nialilac
There are so many different ways to fall in love. Sometimes the person falling in love is aware of it. Sometimes it is subconscious until the moment of realization. Sometimes it is very plain in the text. “Wow,” thought Bob. “I sure am in love.” Sometimes it exists in the subtext of how characters behave toward each other and how they think. In gestures and in looks that are not platonic — in physical reactions like feeling it intensely when someone touches you. In worrying about whether you look attractive when you bump into them unexpectedly. In taking pleasure in a situation that requires you to be close to each other. In missing them when they’ve barely been gone a few minutes. I think we’d all agree that these — taken all together — are signs that there is a more than platonic interest.
Usually there isn’t one single moment when feelings are developed — usually it’s a process, and different readers may interpret it differently. For instance, some people twigged to Jem as a romantic interest this early:
Clockwork Angel, page 114
“You should have some breakfast first,” Charlotte fretted,
pushing the plate of bacon toward him. Jem sat, and smiled at
Tessa across the table. “Oh, Jem—this is Miss Gray. She’s—”
“We’ve met,” Jem said quietly, and Tessa felt a rush of heat
in her face. She couldn’t help staring at him as he picked up
a piece of bread and applied butter to it.
Tessa blushes when Jem says that they’ve met — and can’t stop staring at him buttering his toast, which isn’t usually the most riveting thing. Unless it’s a metaphor, like, “I’ll butter your toast.”
Some others may have thought some things about this scene.
Clockwork Angel, page 187:
Jem stroked Tessa’s hand, carefully, soothingly, and looked
up at her with his silver eyes. The expression in them had
not changed with the change in her; he looked at her as he
had before, as if she were still Tessa Gray. “You’re alive,” he
said, in a voice so soft only she could hear it. “You’re wearing
a different skin, but you’re Tessa, and you’re alive. Do you
know how I know that?”
She shook her head.
“Because you said the word ‘God’ just now to me. No vampire
could say that.” He squeezed her hand. “Your soul is still
the same.”
She closed her eyes and sat still for a moment, concentrating
on the pressure of his hand on hers, his warm skin against
hers that was icy cold. Slowly the trembling that shook her
body began to fade; she opened her eyes, and gave Jem a faint,
shaky smile.
Jem can soothe her when no one else can. She notices his eye color, the way he softly strokes her skin and squeezes her hand. How warm he is. But did she start to develop feelings then? Well, perhaps, or it could have been a bit later.
Clockwork Angel, page 281:
“That looked like it hurt.”
Tessa turned. Jem had come up behind her in the corridor,
as silent as a cat. He had changed out of his gear. He wore loose
dark trousers tied at the waist, and a white shirt only a few
shades lighter than his skin. His fine bright hair was damp,
curling against his temples and the nape of his neck.
“It did.” Tessa cradled her hand against her chest. The
glove she wore had softened the blow, but her knuckles still
ached….
There was something about the way Jem looked at her, she
thought. Like he could see into and through her. But nothing
inside her, nothing he saw or heard, could bother or upset or
disappoint him.
She notices Jem physically the way she never notices anyone but Will — the way his hair curls, the nape of his neck… He looks at her like no one else does. He can see her, which is how we often describe love: two people seeing each other. But does she have feelings then? Well, she clearly feels something, but it could be very intense, admiring friendship, where you think the other person is really hot. That kind of friendship. The one where they’re the only person who comes after you when you’re upset …
Clockwork Angel 306- 309
“I know what you’re thinking.” The voice that came from
the doorway behind Tessa was soft enough that it could almost
have been part of the wind that rattled the leaves on the tree
branches.
Tessa turned. Jem stood in the arch of the doorway, the white
witchlight behind him lighting his hair so that it shone like
metal.
Tessa continues to consistently notice even tiny details about how Jem looks.
Tessa giggled. “So where is it, then? This favorite place of
yours?”
For a moment Jem looked pensive. Then he bounded to his
feet, and held out the hand that did not clasp the cane. “Come
along, and I’ll show you.”
“Is it far?”
“Not at all.” He smiled. He had a lovely smile, Tessa
thought—and a contagious one. She couldn’t help smiling
back, for what felt like the first time in ages.
Tessa let herself be pulled to her feet. Jem’s hand was warm
and strong, surprisingly reassuring. She glanced back at the
Institute once, hesitated, and let him draw her through the
iron gate and out into the shadows of the city.
And his lovely smile. Also, that, which they have just been doing, is flirting. The whole scene is one long flirtation. Then they go to the bridge, and they flirt some more.
Clockwork Angel: 313-320:
“If he wanted me to know, he’d tell me,” Jem said. “You asked
why I think he tolerates me better than other people. I’d imagine
it’s precisely because I’ve never asked him why.” He smiled at her,
wryly. The cold air had whipped color into his cheeks, and his
eyes were bright. Their hands were close to each other’s on the
parapet. For a brief, half-confused moment Tessa thought that
he might be about to put his hand over hers, but his gaze slid
past her and he frowned.
…oh, almost! I don’t know, I don’t spend a lot of time wondering if my platonic friends are going to touch me. Unless they’re mad at me about something and actively chasing me around the living room with a Swiffer.
Clockwork Angel: 325:
Jem and Tessa reached the steps at the end of the bridge,
and Jem kept a tight grip on Tessa’s hand as they hurtled down
the stairs. Her boots slipped on the damp stone, and he caught
her, his cane clattering awkwardly against her back; she felt his
chest rise and fall against hers, hard, as if he were gasping.
Ooh, the old slip and fall against someone’s broad, gasping chest so they have to put their arms around you move. Works every time.
Clockwork Angel 341-342:
“You said that the drug meant a slow death,” Tessa said. “So
do you mean the drug is killing you?”
Jem nodded, strands of bright hair falling across his forehead.
Tessa felt her heart skip a painful beat. …
“Well, I don’t want you to die,” Tessa said. “I don’t know
why I feel it so strongly—I’ve just met you—but I don’t want
you to die.”
“And I trust you,” he said. “I don’t know why—I’ve just met
you—but I do.” His hands were no longer clutching the pillow,
but lying flat and still on the tasseled surface. They were thin
hands, the knuckles just slightly too big for the rest of them, the
fingers tapering and slender, a thick white scar running across
the back of his right thumb. Tessa wanted to slide her own hand
over his, wanted to hold his tightly and comfort him—
Usually when a character has really strong feelings about another character but doesn’t understand why they’re so strong, or what the nature of them is, it’s an indicator there is something deeper going on. I don’t think Tessa developed feelings for Jem in this scene, but I do think it illustrates that they are and have been developing. Again, she notices him physically and wants to touch him.
Clockwork Angel page 343:
Jem gave her a wistful look. “Must you go? I was rather hoping
you’d stay and be a ministering angel, but if you must go,
you must.”
“I’ll stay,” Will said a bit crossly, and threw himself down
in the armchair Tessa had just vacated. “I can minister angelically.”
“None too convincingly. And you’re not as pretty to look at
as Tessa is,” Jem said, closing his eyes as he leaned back against
the pillow.
Jem thinks Tessa is pretty! He flirts! And not badly, either. Charming.
Clockwork Angel page 359:
As Tessa moved to go after them, she felt a hand on
her arm, a touch so light she almost might not have noticed it.
It was Jem. “Wait,” he said. “Just a moment.”
She turned to look at him. Through the open doorway she
could hear a murmur of voices—Henry’s friendly baritone,
Jessamine’s eager falsetto rising as she said Nate’s name. “What
is it?”
He hesitated. His hand on her arm was cool; his fingers felt
like thin stems of glass against her skin. She wondered if the
skin over the bones of his cheeks, where he was flushed and
feverish, would be warmer to the touch.
“But my sister—” Nate’s voice floated into the hallway,
sounding anxious. “Is she joining us? Where is she?”
“Never mind. It’s nothing.” With a reassuring smile Jem
dropped his hand. Tessa wondered, but turned and went into
the drawing room, Jem behind her.
Another reason Nate is hateful. Interrupting just when Tessa is thinking about what Jem’s hands feel like on her, and what it would be like if she caressed his face. You know, how you think about people you don’t have platonic feelings for. :P
Clockwork Angel page 390-391:
It was Jem who broke away and ran up the stairs to her. As
he reached her, she saw that he had high color in his face, and
his eyes were bright and hot. She wondered how much of the
drug Will had let him take, so that he would be ready to fight.
“Tessa—,” he said.
“I didn’t mean to say good-bye,” she said quickly. “But—it
seems odd to let you leave without saying anything at all.”
He looked at her curiously. He did something that surprised
her then, and took her hand, turning it over. She looked
down at it, at her bitten fingernails, the still-healing scratches
along the backs of her fingers.
He kissed the back of it, just a light touch of his mouth, and
his hair—as soft and light as silk—brushed her wrist as he lowered
his head. She felt a shock go through her, strong enough
to startle her, and she stood speechless as he straightened, his
mouth curving into a smile.
“Mizpah,” he said.
She blinked at him, a little dazed. “What?”
“A sort of good-bye without saying good-bye,” he said. “It
is a reference to a passage in the Bible. ‘And Mizpah, for he said,
the Lord watch between me and thee when we are absent one from
another.’”
Mizpah rings and brooches were exchanged by lovers in the Victorian era. A way of saying “I love you, think about me” when they were separated. It was not something you’d give a friend. But even granted that knowledge is esoteric, the hand-kissing, the slide of his hair over her skin, the physical shock that goes through her when he touches her — none of that is a platonic reaction.
Clockwork Angel 467-472
“Will is … difficult,” Jem said. “But family is difficult. If
I didn’t think the Institute was the best place for you, Tessa, I
would not say that it was. And one can build one’s own family.
I know you feel inhuman, and as if you are set apart, away from
life and love, but …” His voice cracked a little, the first time
Tessa had heard him sound unsure. He cleared his throat. “I
promise you, the right man won’t care.”
I wonder who that could be?
Clockwork Prince 7-8
“Oh, yes. It really does look just as I imagined,” Tessa said, and
turned to smile at the boy who stood beside her. He had just
helped her over a puddle, and his hand still rested politely on
her arm, just above the crook of her elbow.
James Carstairs smiled back at her, elegant in his dark suit,
his silver-fair hair whipped by the wind.
Jem is being a Victorian gentleman here, helping Tessa over puddles. Technically he should do it for any lady, but …
“I shall count that as a blessing,” said Jem. “I was beginning
to worry, you know, that everything you encountered in
London was going to be a disappointment.”
A disappointment. Tessa’s brother, Nate, had once promised
her everything in London—a new beginning, a wonderful
place to live, a city of soaring buildings and gorgeous parks.
What Tessa had found instead was horror and betrayal, and
danger beyond anything she could have imagined. And yet …
“Not everything has been.” She smiled up at Jem.
“I am glad to hear it.” His tone was serious, not teasing.
If he flirted like that with any lady, he would be condemned to be considered a cad, bounder and rogue. In the Victorian era, this was like falling to your knees in public and producing a ring.
9-10
She looked at him, and felt herself
flush. “I can’t explain it. It’s like being among friends, being
among these names. Silly, I know …”
“Not silly at all.”
She smiled at him. “How did you know just what I’d want
to see?”
“How could I not?” he said. “When I think of you, and you
are not there, I see you in my mind’s eye always with a book
in your hand.” He looked away from her as he said it, but not
before she caught the slight flush on his cheekbones. He was so
pale, he could never hide even the least blush, she thought—
and was surprised how affectionate the thought was.
So, Jem tells Tessa he thinks about her — thinks about her a lot —and the thought of her makes him blush. Something tells me he’s not actually thinking about her reading. Or at least, that’s probably not all she’s doing. In fact, they’re both blushing. They’re standing there, blushing at each other, while Tessa exclaims in wonder that Jem knows her so well. Again, I think that this is part of the development of her feelings — the larger context of the scene discusses all the places they’ve been to together, everything they’ve seen, the things Jem has done to cheer her up — but there is already a developed base of feeling here.
Clockwork Prince 35-36:
“Come.” Jem took her arm lightly. A gentleman would not
normally touch a lady in public, but here in the Institute the
Shadowhunters were more familiar with one another than
were the mundanes outside. When she turned to look at him,
he smiled at her. Jem put the full force of himself into each
smile, so that he seemed to be smiling with his eyes, his heart,
his whole being.
Clockwork Prince 35-36:46:
“I know what Jessie will say. She’ll say the only thing she needs
assistance fending off is handsome suitors.”
“Wouldn’t she rather have help fending off the unattractive
ones?”
“Not if they’re mundanes.” Tessa grinned. “She’d rather an
ugly mundane than a handsome Shadowhunter any day.”
“That does put me right out of the running, doesn’t it?” said
Jem with mock chagrin, and Tessa laughed again.
“It is too bad,” she said. “Someone as pretty as Jessamine
ought to have her pick, but she’s so determined that a
Shadowhunter won’t do—”
“You are much prettier,” said Jem.
Flirt, flirt, flirt. I mean, I suppose telling a friend how pretty they are in a purely platonic way is not impossible, but it’s a real stretch, and would have been even weirder in the Victorian age. Add it to all the blushing and that would be very odd “friend” behavior. We can see how Jem acts with his female friends — Sophie, Charlotte — and it isn’t like this.
Jem’s feelings about Tessa are a lot more clearly delineated than hers for him, mostly because she’s in denial. Jem, on the other hand, is not. Every time he shows up he has small cartoon hearts in his eyes. Though I guess the question was about Tessa’s feelings so we can take it as read that Jem’s are obvious. By now Tessa’s are pretty obvious too.
Clockwork Prince 51-52:
Sophie gave a little yelp of surprise and backed up as one of
the dangling ropes began to sway and a dark shape appeared
over their heads. It was Jem, clambering down the rope with
the graceful agility of a bird. He landed lightly in front of them,
and smiled. “My apologies. I didn’t mean to startle you.”
He was dressed in gear as well, though instead of a tunic
he wore a shirt that reached only to his waist. A single leather
strap went across his chest, and the hilt of a sword protruded
from behind one shoulder. The darkness of the gear made his
skin look even paler, his hair and eyes more silver than ever.
He looks hot. Tessa notices, and …
Their eyes met, and in another moment
of wordless communication, Tessa heard what he was really
saying: I’m not well enough often enough to train you reliably. Her
throat hurt suddenly, and she locked eyes with Jem, hoping
he could read her silent sympathy in them. She did not want
to look away, and found herself wondering if the way that she
had scraped her hair back, carefully pinning it into a bun from
which no stray strands escaped, looked horribly unflattering.
Tessa worries about whether she looks pretty in front of Jem, who is looking very pretty himself. Her feelings are starting to actually push against the base of denial she’s built up. She can’t stop looking at him. If she really thought about why she was worrying how she looked in front of Jem … well, she sure doesn’t worry the same thing about Gabriel or Gideon.
Clockwork Prince 59:
“There’s a salve the Silent Brothers make, for sore muscles.
Knock on the door of my room before you go to sleep, and I’ll
give you some.”
Tessa flushed slightly, then wondered why she had flushed.
The Shadowhunters had their odd ways. She had been in Jem’s
room before, even alone with him, even alone with him in
her night attire, and no fuss had been made over it. All he
was doing now was offering her a bit of medicine, and yet
she could feel the heat rise in her face—and he seemed to see
it, and flushed himself, the color very visible against his pale
skin.
At this point, the feelings are there. They are developed. This is tension, of the sexual kind — Jem’s mentioned something about sore muscles and salve, and Tessa has turned the color of a tomato and is freaking out. Again, they stand there, blushing at each other. This is the problem when everyone involved is shy. However, if this were a book with no Will in it, no one would even consider any possibility except that this was a book about how Tessa and Jem are falling in love.
Clockwork Prince 99: “Shall we go in, my betrothed?” Jem said softly in her ear. She
could feel the laughter in him, vibrating through his bones,
communicating itself to her. She almost smiled. “Let us beard
the lion in his den together.”
Boy is Jem having a lot of fun with their fake marriage. Boy is Tessa not minding.
135:
Jem looked not ill but very tired, though his exhaustion only served
to point up the delicacy of his features. His beauty did not blaze
like Will’s did in fierce colors and repressed fire, but it had its
own muted perfection, the loveliness of snow falling against a
silver-gray sky.
“Your ring!” She started up suddenly as she remembered
that she was still wearing it. She put the button back into her
pocket, then reached to draw the Carstairs ring off her hand. “I
had meant to give it back to you earlier,” she said, placing the
silver circlet in his palm. “I forgot …”
He curled his fingers around hers. Despite her thoughts of
snow and gray skies, his hand was surprisingly warm. “That’s
all right,” he said in a low voice. “I like the way it looks on you.”
She felt her cheeks warm. Before she could answer, the train
whistle sounded.
Jem is making Tessa blush so much it is a wonder she does not invest in a practical veil. Jem is admittedly a more subtle flirt than Will, but I like the way my wedding ring looks on you is pretty overt. Also Tessa sure has a lot of thoughts about how beautiful he is.
Clockwork Prince 165-166:
Tessa looked around, about to say something to the boy
with his arms around her—and stopped. She had forgotten
that it was Gabriel beside her, not Jem. She had grown so used
to Jem’s presence, the ease with which she could converse
with him, the comfort of his hand on her arm when they
walked, the fact that he was the only person in the world now
she felt she could say absolutely anything to. She realized
with surprise that though she had just seen him at breakfast,
she missed him, with what felt almost like an ache inside.
She was so caught up in this mixture of feelings—missing
Jem, and a sense of passionate protectiveness over Sophie—
that her next throw went wide by several feet, flying by
Gideon’s head and bouncing off the windowsill.
Gabriel has his arms around Tessa, but she’s imagining someone else is holding her. Jem. Jem, the only person in the world she can say anything to. She just saw him at breakfast, and she misses him. Apparently it is too painful to wait for lunch. They should consider instituting second breakfast, like hobbits.
Alas, poor Gideon suffers from the agonies of her love, nearly getting an arrow in the head. It is hard to be a Lightworm.
Clockwork Prince 175-176:
Jem stood up. “I should go.”
“Don’t you mean ‘we’? You weren’t thinking of going looking
for Will without me, were you?” she asked archly, and
when he said nothing, she said, “That letter was addressed to
me, James. I didn’t have to show it to you.”
He half-closed his eyes for a moment, and when he opened
them, he was smiling crookedly. “James,” he said. “Ordinarily
only Will calls me that.”
“I’m sorry—”
“No. Don’t be. I like the sound of it on your lips.”
Lips. There was something strangely, delicately indelicate
about the word, like a kiss itself. It seemed to hover in the air
between them while they both hesitated. But it’s Jem, Tessa
thought in bewilderment. Jem.
This is one of those scenes where the reader knows more than the narrator: in this case, Tessa. Jem only has to say the world “lips” and he and Tessa both fall apart in torments of socially awkward desire. Tessa may be thinking “What? But it’s Jem!” but everything she’s thought, felt and done indicates that But it’s Jem is about to become Yes, Jem, yes.
Clockwork Prince 180-181:
“Indeed,” she said. “Though it is not so much a mystery,
is it? Will would do anything for you—”
“I’m not sure I would take it quite that far.” Jem’s tone was
wry.
“Of course he would,” said Tessa. “Anyone would. You’re so
kind and so good—”
She broke off, but Jem’s eyes had already widened. He
looked surprised, as if he were not used to such praise, but
surely he must be, Tessa thought in confusion. Surely everyone
who knew him knew how lucky they were. She felt her cheeks
begin to warm again, and cursed herself. What was going on?
A faint rattle came from the window; Jem turned after a
moment’s pause. “That will be Cyril,” he said, and there was
a slight, rough undercurrent to his voice. “I—I asked him to
bring the carriage around. We had better go.”
Blush, blush, flirt; flirt.
Clockwork Prince 187:
“Say something in Mandarin,” said Tessa with a smile.
Jem said something rapidly, that sounded like a lot of
breathy vowels and consonants run together, his voice rising
and falling melodically: “Ni hen piao liang.”
“What did you say?”
“I said your hair is coming undone. Here,” he said, and
reached out and tucked an escaping curl back behind her ear.
Tessa felt the blood spill hot up into her cheeks, and was glad
for the dimness of the carriage. “You have to be careful with
it,” he said, taking his hand back slowly, his fingers lingering
against her cheek. “You don’t want to give the enemy anything
to grab hold of.”
Touching, blushing, flirting, sexy phrases in Mandarin. Jem just told her she was beautiful, and while she may not know, she knows. There is of course quite a bit more after the scene where they make out, but I told myself I’d stop there.
I couldn’t say which of these scenes — and I left a lot of others out — is the one where Tessa falls in love. In some ways I think it’s totally open to the reader to pick which one they want it to be. I think that rather than being a bolt of lightning, this is the kind of love that is like a gathering storm. Tessa comes to know Jem, to care for him, to respect him, to value him as a friend, then to value him as her best friend, and in parallel to this, she notices that he is beautiful, and then that beauty ceases to be abstract and becomes something that physically and immediately affects her. She is moved and attracted. She wants, she desires. That’s why the scene where they do finally make out is somewhat explosive and sudden: it’s the culmination of a lot of pent-up desire that we’ve been seeing grow on both sides for many hundreds of pages. I mean, that’s why it was fun for me to write, anyway. :)
