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styofa doing anything
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Claire Keane
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Xuebing Du
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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dirt enthusiast
Love Begins
KIROKAZE
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Origami Around
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YOU ARE THE REASON
Three Goblin Art
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@ramemrebelsgaming-blog
Sorrow touches me Sorrow at my loneliness For want of another soul To make me whole Plumbing the depths of despair In search of that missing piece That will banish sorrow forever But fail in that endeavour Finding solace is always just out of reach An outstretched hand away There simply for the taking Then I’m left aching What was seemingly solid and tangible Evaporated into the ether So I will begin again tomorrow The search for the end of sorrow
But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour. Nothing farther then he uttered—not a feather then he fluttered Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.” Then the bird said “Nevermore.” - Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken, “Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore Of ‘Never—nevermore’.
Edgar Allen Poe (The Raven)
New Depression: Day 4 (11/22/17)
Fell asleep at 8pm last night. Waking up at 3pm and not leaving bed or eating until 9:45pm. Still tired somehow. Still haven't eaten. I wish I was hungry. My stomach growls and tells me I need food, but I feel full. Life sucks.
New Depression: Day 3 (11/21/17)
Sleep patterns are still equally as fucked as yestersdays. Realizing it's all my fault. Maybe if I could do something right for once instead of trying to do right only to mess everything up. Let's hope tomorrow is better.
New Depression: Day 2 (11/20/17)
Slept until 2pm today. If you could count this as sleep. Waking up hourly from a restless sleep that leaves me still feeling tired. The pain is gone mostly. Just feel empty. I've accepted that this isn't getting better. Not soon at least. This isn't a nightmare. It's reality.
New Depression: Day 1 (11/19/17)
Woke up the moring after the incident. Slept until noon. Still wishing the pain could stop. Wishing that I will wake up and this was just a terrible nightmare.
No one will ever be able to put up with me long enough for me to heal. This wound I bear will forever be in a state of constant resurfacing, for no one has the strength to help it heal.
It's probably best you left. My departure would only bring you more pain if you hadn't given up first.
Nothing left to hold onto.... I'm falling...
Thinking people will be better off without you but simultaneously hoping they'll stay. Please don't go. I just don't want to hurt you any more. If only I knew how to stop.
Sometimes I wish someone could see past all my flaws and mistakes and see how much I'm suffering. Maybe then they would understand just why I'm so fucked up. Why I keep fucking up. But then I realize that no matter how much I'm suffering no one could ever be expected to put up with me. Even if someone would listen. They would never understand. Now I'm more realistic. Now I only wish I was in control so I could just stop fucking up and make things right for once. But wishes don't come true.
Just when you think you've hit rock bottom something sends you plummeting deeper into the dark abyss. Never felt so empty. So excluded. Like such a failure. Such a bad friend. Alone. No one to talk to when your dark past comes back to haunt you. No one to socialize with to distract you from the pain of your own pathetic existence. Distract you from the guilt of your own failures. Distract you from the shame of your own flaws. Never has the end been so tempting. And then something else happens and you fall further. Barreling further and further into the darkness until you can't carry the weight of yourself and you break. I don't want to break.
Exclusion
All my life
I’ve endured a weight of exclusion
never the one who can
always the one who can’t
never the one with
but constant without
Standing afar
a stranger
in a whirl of happening
where my would be
never could be
The birth of desire
gifted in grief
ability almost visible
but before my hands could grasp
the thief came to steal
crushing me down
"You probably thought I wouldn’t get this far. You thought I’d end up in the back of a car. You probably thought that I’d never escape, I’d be a rat in a cage, I’d be a slave to this place. You don’t know how hard I fought to survive, Waking up alone when I was left to die. You don’t know about this life I’ve led, All these roads I’ve walked, All these tears I’ve bled"
In This Moment
Nothing sucks more than finding something that resurfaces memories of your darkest point in your past. Don't need to fall back. Not when I've worked so hard to pull myself out of it.
