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The Rollettes are in a Lady Gaga music video! This is huge! This is amazing!
It would be poor psychology to assume that exclusion arouses only hate and resentment; it arouses too a possessive, intolerant kind of love, and those whom repressive culture has held at a distance can easily enough become its most diehard defenders.
Theodor W. Adorno, Minima Moralia, 32
Am I The Waojat for kicking a clanless female out of the city park?
My clan had just finished a major contract in Antngvi City, ahead of schedule and under budget, and so to celebrate, I organized an all-clan trip to Tngshiar Park-Preserve for a picnic feast. We bought dumplings from our favorite dumpling shop, and frozen blood pudding, and everything else you'd imagine.
The park wasn't too crowded that day, so we were easily able to find a spot on the edge of the green, and my 12-year-old children and our two jngti were chasing each other around the green while we adults set up the picnic. But then I noticed, at the far edge of the green, a strange female sitting alone, calmly eating a couple skewers of rin. She was obviously clanless, and I did not like the idea of someone like that being right at the edge of the green where my kids were playing. She gave off a rather ominous and predatory aura, if you know what I mean.
I brought her to the attention of the other adults, who were likewise quite concerned, especially my entourage, and we were discussing what to do about her, when she finished her meal and came right across the green, walking boldly right up to us.
She accused us of "glaring" at her, "in the most hostile manner," and demanded to know why. I of course pointed out that we had not, in fact, been "glaring" at her in any manner, to which she replied, with a sneer, "In that case, don't let me stop you from minding your own business." Then she walked off, face held high, and after tossing her empty skewers in a trash bin, walked back across the green and settled herself exactly where she had been before.
So, naturally, I sent for the gamekeeper. It proved quite unnecessarily difficult to explain to this worker the threat this clanless individual posed to my family, but eventually, when I agreed to accompany them, along with three or four of my strongest female workers, they agreed to remove the threatening person from the park. She went quietly, if haughtily, condemning our "barbarism" all the way.
I did what was best to protect my family, but now that I've told some of my sister clans and other friendly matriarchs about this incident, some of them are insisting that I "overreacted," or that "that's not how things are done in Antngvi City." Even one of my own sireparents said what I did was "uncalled for"! But what was I supposed to do? Let her sit there and ogle my children from across the green? Waiting for her opportunity to strike? I'm sure all of you will agree with me that what I did was for the best. Please help me explain that to my sister-clan matriarchs.
Look, you don't have to use, like, or even look at the word transandrophobia/transmisandry, but if in any case you are calling people TRAs or TMRAs, then you are perpetuating transphobia. Do you all not know where TRA came from? Do yall think that adding and M to further mimic MRA makes it any better?
Anytime I see anyone decide that any sect of trans people talking about transphobia is a TRA, a TMRA, or a MRA, I'm going to assume you are siding with the terves that call us all that for talking about general transphobia or the transphobes that insinuate that trans women/people are MRAs by calling them TRAs. There is absolutely no room in trans activism for this word, no matter who you are using it towards*. I don't care what you think about actual MRAs; don't call a trans person that - our struggles are real and harmful and don't need to be mocked by people not doing the work to deconstruct gender and bigotry.
*Satire is obviously fine. I know a few bloggers on here who have jokingly embraced TMRA because they see the transphobia behind it.
She is always forced to choose. Between this job and that job. Between this love and that love. Between this project and that project. Between this life and that life. But she doesn't want only this or that. She wants both. And she is tired of choosing.
She knows she can't do everything. She isn't asking for supernatural powers. What bothers her is the imposed requirement to exclude. She doesn't want to abandon things or people. She wants to stay open to everything that might be possible for her. But no one will allow her to make such a choice.
The people around her want her to commit to one option, to one life. The structure of the world itself seems to force this choice, it seems to demand that she apply all of her efforts in a single direction. This endless narrowing down is a tragedy, she feels. She doesn't want to be boxed in. She wants just as much possibility to grow tomorrow as she has today. But she cannot see how that can happen if she is always forced to limit herself.
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“A third way to react is self-isolation is where you prevent yourself from any further opportunity to be ostracized, by being by yourself, by being alone, by not allowing the possibility for rejection, exclusion, ostracism. This also allows the person to regain some of the needs that have been threatened [by ostracism]: it gives them control, you can't fire me, I quit. You end up taking control of a situation and preventing ostracism by not allowing it to even happen in the first place.
We know that some people become what we call rejection-sensitive. They experience rejection and exclusion early in their life and then they expect it to happen all the time and so they're always on the lookout and prevent themselves from getting in the situations where they could be rejected. They see it when it's not happening, and so on. While both aggression and self-isolation fortify the needs [threatened by ostracism] neither one of them lead to re-inclusion.”
– Kipling D. Williams, Full PreFrontal Podcast Episode 191
