I can't control myself near sweets.

NOTHING FORMAL ABOUT THIS. GET YOUR KNIVES CAUSE WE ABOUT TO CUT SOME BREAD. Bitches love bread. Thats me. The bitches. I love bread

[amerlcanapparel-deactivated2020]

when she says she doesn’t send nudes

[straighthater]

when guys objectify women and expect them to send nudes

[timelordpillbug]

when someone asks you about your nuclear plans for russia

[hikingnerd]

When Russia sends you nudes

[dr-thackery]

[dismantlerepaired]

[ilovepretzelrods]

[thegingerbalrog]

[onwardwall]

[miss-jaxon-flaxon-waxon]

#what the fuck happened here

[ramendobe]

I wanna take you to a REMOTE island and smooch you! 💕

The only thing that comes to mind is that old video of a teenage kid shoving a remote up his ass because his parents took away his World of Warcraft account. Eitherway :) FORGET THE REMOTE, GIVE ME THE KISSES 

[anakinkshamer]

I LITERALLY BINGE WATCHED HIS VIDEOS THE OTHER WEEK IM DEAD

REMOTE BOY I LUH YOUU

[ramendobe]

I KNOW, I WAS THERE - STALKING YOU IN THE BUSHES. 

REMOTEBOY, I AM MAD BECAUSE I STILL CANT SEE YOU IN MY ACTIVITY LIST ON TUMBLR AFTER ALL THESE YEARS. I NEED TO HAVE A TALK WITH TUMBLERINOSTAFFERU. ALSO I LOVE YOU TOO MAH PRECIOUS LEMON

[ramendobe]

two halves of a whole idiot... so me and you right?

Baby you’ve got it aaaaall figured out. A true scientist, if you will

[ramendobe]

I wanna take you to a REMOTE island and smooch you! 💕

The only thing that comes to mind is that old video of a teenage kid shoving a remote up his ass because his parents took away his World of Warcraft account. Eitherway :) FORGET THE REMOTE, GIVE ME THE KISSES 

[ramendobe]

VIBE CHECK!!! *holds your hand and kisses it*

Vibe what-?? Well gosh damn - no biting! Thanks for the........affection *MWUA*

[ramendobe]

*loots your corpse for valuables*

GET YOUR OWN VALUABLES

[ramendobe]

👽 ayy lien

You’re too clever for this world

[ramendobe]

u r baby

Cant disagree to that

[femhawke]

Huh.....

[gothicprep]

are you gonna pick those penne noodles out of the boiling water one by one like a man, or are you gonna use a strainer like some kind of democrat?

[ramendobe]

I found an old sketch that I finished. Its not flames its just….the background looked so boring I had to do SOMETHING.😂 I love the idea of scientists trying to capture Megamind and run tests on him against his will because………wELL. He’s an alien DAMN IT😩💦💥

[yehudah]

CIS PEOPLE ARE SO UNREAL BRO……..i made a “im epic and sexy and my meat is huge” joke to one of my cis friends and she just said “well youre trans so you dont HAVE meat” like ok….first of all its a joke and second of all its a joke

[yehudah]

i hate it tho like other cis girls can say “suck my dick” as a joke and they dont have to specify that its a joke and that they dont actually have a dick but the moment i, a trans person, want to make a joke about it then it becomes a whole thing about how i dont REALLY have meat and i actually have a pussy like ok.

[yehudah]

honestly the fact that other trans ppl are rbing/saying that theyve had a similar experience makes me so sad i hate cis ppl

[bunnyalope]

its surreal because i see cis women say “suck my dick” all the time but if a trans man says it suddenly everyone needs to talk about how he doesn’t have a dick and if a trans woman says it suddenly she’s being creepy and innappropriate

its like just admit you don’t like us having fun

[bodyglitter]

me: yeah im done crying over this lol its not even worth my tears

me 3 seconds later:

[onlytwitterpics]

[marvel-lous-things]

In addition to being the greatest superhero movie of all time, megamind also comes with the added benefit of having a soundtrack that Absolutely fucking Slaps. Your faves, as the kids say these days, could never.

[anakinkshamer]

MY MATH CLASS IS A MATH CLASS FOR COLLEGE STUDENTS THAT ARE ALL SUCK AT MATH IM SO HAPPY

[ramendobe]

AND I WOULD’VE BEEN ONE OF THOSE SUCKERS

[mega-headcanons]

Megamind’s Patronus is a spider.