[tomgirlhysteria-deactivated2023]

pussy cunt and bitch aren’t even swear words they’re my girlfriends. we’re going to brunch

[assiraphales]

sent my mom a picture of my cat with the comment “in menace mode” except the picture didn’t send. and all my mom said was “huh!” 

[lemonlurkrr]

I feel like I need to be recalibrated and layed on a flat surface

[falseobject]

"ingredients you can pronounce!!!" actually i'm great at phonics and i love eating chemicals

[sleepyspacebb]

[robottko]

“this pillow works better if your a back sleeper” bitch I’m a rotisserie chicken sleeper I don’t stop turning until sleep rips me forcefully from this world

[itskindofareallyniceday]

Booty shorts that say this

[final-girls]

catholicism was only invented so that lady gaga could write judas and then film the music video

[ndiecity-deactivated20241101]

I play rhythm games on mute whilst listening to a completely different song

you need to see a doctor

[fucko]

remember this gif

[bisexualwario]

michael jordan and scottie pippen did this in 93

[spacedewey]

I think the most damage this site has done to me is making me think "It's fucken wimdy" when it is, in fact, fucken wimdy outside.

[wumblr]

call me super mario the way i'd be laying down pipe if it wasn't for all these turtles. attacking me

[valtsv]

i think if you dipped me in the radioactive sludge i'd get normaler

[mrspider-deactivated20221213]

old women are really like my obsession though they can just say whatever and you just have to accept it today my old lady coworker looked at me and said “i can imagine you eating a croissant on your back like a little sea otter” and then walked away like girl!!!

[donnamissal]

[foulserpent]

[lntelinside]