Acquired Stardust
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if i look back, i am lost
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Aqua Utopiaïœæ”·ăźćșă§èšæ¶ă玥ă
⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
art blog(derogatory)
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RMH
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@rand0lphcarter
Paramedics watch on in horror as I finish drawing a pattern of seven vertical lines and one horizontal line on the floor with my own blood. "Heh..heh...blood...loss..." I wheeze as my lungs fill with blood. It's the last thing I ever say before I fade away.
Took a gas station boner pill they call me Fortunato the way I'm bricked up
Just another SaturdayïżŒ
HDB morning routine
Kyle MacLachlan starred in the cult mystery series Twin Peaks, continuing his frequent collaboration with director David Lynch, which began with Dune (1984), in which a twink peaks.
JoJolands is set in 2023 so Araki has the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever and do a time skip so the whole gang will be calling Paco 'Paco Labuburantes'
The Infinite and the Divine, or, the greatest enemies to lovers fanfiction ever written.
If I had a nickel for every time a John DiMaggio voiced character's best friend was a blonde sword wielding dumbass with daddy issues I'd have two nickels, which isn't much but it's weird that it happened twice.
went to miami to recover father sotirios. and made some new friends.
these animals... they are wise. I recruited them to avenge my dear brother. I was then escorted out of the sea world.
Better than the 1596 Marseille dolphin exorcism I suppose.
In 1596 dolphins were infesting the port of Marseille. Back in those days, yâsee, dolphins didnât have the cuddly image they enjoy today. They were pests and were causing damage.
So the cardinal of Avignon sent the bishop of Cavaillon to do something about them. In front of a huge crowd, the bishop sprinkled some holy water into the waters of the port and told the dolphins to begone. Whereupon the dolphins indeed turned tail in terror and fled, and were never seen again.
Still not as dramatic as Saint Bernard excommunicating the flies though.
What happened to the flies?
Saint Bernard of Clairvaux built a monastery in 1124, but it was plagued by flies. So the good saint promptly excommunicated them. By the next day the flied had died in such quantities that they had to be shoveled out.
Still not as nutty as the Basel rooster trial though.
*everyone in unison* um what rooster trial?
In 1474, a rooster in Basel did the heinous and unspeakable act of laying an egg. As everyone knows, an egg laid by a rooster will hatch into a basilisk (or cockatrice).
So to avoid the creation of a cockatrice (or basilisk), the rooster was tried, found guilty, and burned at the stake along with its egg. A huge crowd was present.
The âroosterâ in this case was likely a hen that had developed male characteristics (it happens).
Still not as properly legal as the Savigny pig trial though.
Ok, clearly you want an excuse to talk about the pig thing, and I now DESPERATELY want to hear about the pig thing, so PLEASE tell us about the Pig Thing.
In 1457 a sow killed Jehan Martin, a five-year-old boy in Savigny. For that crime she was put on trial and judged guilty, and sentenced to be hanged from a tree.
Her piglets, however, were judged to have been innocent of the murder, and so were returned to the owner, with the caveat that he had to surrender them to the law if they were later found to have eaten any of the boy.
Not to be confused with a whole bunch of other, similar porcine trials.
I wonât mention the 1454 excommunication of eels in Lake Geneva then.
OK what did the eels do, and more pressingly why were they in communion with the church in the first place
Animals are expected to be part of the Church by default, thatâs why they take excommunication so badly.
Felix Hemmerlinâs treatise on exorcism, cited by e.g. Wagnerâs Historia Naturalis Helvetiae (1680), informs us that around 1221-1229, eels once infested Lake Geneva in huge numbers. So Saint William, bishop of Lausanne, excommunicated them and banned them from the lake, forcing them to live in only one part of it.
Plot twist: as far as we know, Saint William was never bishop of Lausanne.
Thereâs no way you have historical Christianity nonsense more silly than this to share
Iâve been trying to stay on brand and talk about animals only, but sure, few intersections of Christianity and the legal system get sillier thanâŠ
⊠the Cadaver Synod.
Pope Formosus (âGood-lookingâ) was pope from 891 to 896, and apparently accumulated a few enemies. After his successor Boniface VI enjoyed all of a 15-day papacy, the next pope elected was Stephen VI.
And he hated Formosus.
How much? He had the corpse of Formosus exhumed, dressed up in papal vestments, and put on trial for his failings as a pope.
End result? Formosus was found guilty of papal fail. The corpse was stripped of its clothes, three fingers on its right hand were severed (no blessings for u), and it was tied to weights and dumped in the Tiber.
Needless to say Stephen VI came to a sticky end. An angry mob deposed him, he was strangled in prison, and Formosusâs corpse was fished up and reburied with honors. And the later popes passed edicts ensuring this kind of silliness would not happen again.
Tune in next time when I tell you about how a lawyer defended a cityâs entire rat population.
Please, the rats, give us the rats, i beg....
The story of the rats of Autun is also the story of BarthelĂ©my de Chasseneuz (or ChassenĂ©e, etc.), a highly original and highly talented defense lawyer. Thatâs him here.
When the town of Autun was infested by rats in the early 1500s, they were accused of eating the provinceâs barley crop and were duly summoned to be judged in an ecclesiastical court of law. Chasseneuz was the defense attorney.
How do you defend an entire swarm of rats? You donât, is the answer. You delay. Chasseneuzâs original defense was âmy clients live all over the place, one summons wonât be enoughâ. So he got a court summons to be posted in all the infested parishes.
When the rats didnât show up after the elapsed time delay, Chasseneuz proceeded to explain at length why. The rats didnât come to court, he said, because of their enemies the cats, which are everywhere and always vigilant and hungry. âYou cannot expect my clients to undertake a journey which would put them in mortal dangerâ, he argued in complete seriousness. âThus they have the legal right to turn down a summons that endangers themâ.
As far as we know, the rats never did appear in court, and remained unprosecuted.
Chasseneuz went on to have a distinguished career as a lawyer and was allegedly killed by a poisoned bouquet of flowers.
Anyone else picturing @a-book-of-creatures sitting in a tavern, significantly tapping their glass every time someone begs for a story, noting that telling stories sure is thirsty work...
for @a-book-of-creatures
Whuh? Hrm⊠that one Roman guy who fed people to his pet eelsâŠ
Tell us! Tell us pray!
His name was Vedius Pollio and he was by all accounts (namely Pliny and Seneca) a nasty piece of work.
He had a pool full of eels. Slaves who displeased him would get tossed into it for his general entertainment. The eels would rip them to shreds, then Pollio would go on to eat the eels because why not go the whole hog and be cartoonishly evil? As fate would have it a slave broke a crystal cup while Augustus was around, and threw himself at Augustus' feet to beg for mercy. Augustus recognized Pollio's sadism and had the slave freed, the fishpond filled in, and every cup in the place smashed.
That's the eel story anyhow. But what kind of eels were they? They're commonly translated as "lampreys" in English sources, but it seems hard to imagine lampreys tearing someone apart piranha-style. Moray eels are more likely given their reputation for bitiness. At any rate the original text uses the word muraena, which is currently... the scientific name of the Mediterranean moray.
Vedius and his moray eels made a guest appearance in one of the Alix stories, where our hero almost gets to be fish food.
Is this an opportune time to mention the Hartlepool monkey hanging?
This clip would kill a bubbline shipper from 2012
Whoever made Sir Slicer a cunty dommy mommy deserves a raise
Actually getting ok at this painting shizz? Idk lemme know how I did
New announcement has the Gyjo fans acting feral
Wtf It worked?
"Do I look like I know what a MPREG is? I just want a picture of Shadow the goddang Hedgehog"
