I am a white Tumblr leftist. I post sappy posts about human kindness as if it is a shocking fact. I think I am an intellectual because I read books written before 2000. I love buttons and soup, however I believe eating soups not from Europe is problematic. I have sensory issues that preclude me from listening to any Black genre of music. I fetishize ancient Greece but I hate ancient Rome (the one with actual human rights). I believe there was no human history before Christianity and Islam. I love random Jewish authors but I never examine my anti-Jewish racism. I lecture people about intersectionality but cry when my needs are not centered. I love onions and garlic and frogs. I performatively love mangoes but will never eat other African or south Asian foods because of the "smell". I love Franz Kafka. I reblog shitty poetry written by white 20 somethings tagged with long strings of primary vowels. I believe that any autistic with a different profile than myself is not legitimate. I go out of my way to mention "Turtle Island" but I don't know that "Indigenous people" are not a single culture. I have a complicated relationship with JK Rowling. I hate her, but man is she useful in winning ally points and performing fake allyship to Jews and trans people. I reblog posts about linguistics but do not critically engage with them hence I parrot the fact that linguistic purity is made up and pronouns in English can be modified over and over again. I think that languages with grammatical gender/other gender systems are problematic. I love JRR Tolkien but I did not read the Silmarillion. I confidently lecture people on the lore, though. I am obsessed with "fiber arts" but I do not make an effort to learn any. I have never been near a domestic animal before so I am very confident any human interaction with them is abusive and they never seek out connection and even friendship with humans. I think horses as a species are a joke but I do not think they are real animals with feelings, more like cars. They are weird and not cute. I think all trans women work in voice acting and technology. I rail against fatphobia and patriarchy but I think large breasts are something to be laughed at. I do not think critically about why that is or why it is viewed as sexual in the first place. Instead I reblog Lore Olympus. I am an expert on the ancient Mediterranean, you see, because I read Percy Jackson and theoi.com. It is progressive to rewrite entire religions to fit my modern morals. You see, we can "queer" everything, even soup! We do this by associating them with misogynoir and racial stereotypes. I have anxiety around any actual Black people though. I post about this on leftist forums and get praised by other white people for "unpacking" and "changing", which is great since I have been doing this for years!
I love cats, but I think male cats are nicer than female cats. I do not examine why that is. Instead, I reblog posts about heartstrings and spilled ink. I think all of my personal failings are due to the American education system. I am not, however, in public school and haven't been for some time. I love jokes that make fun of people who want information to be accurate, since that is fascism. Let's firebomb the Smithsonian heheheheh! I also make jokes about Taco Bell but I hate actual Mexican food. I don't really know there are other Latin American countries anyway. I love converse shoes. I reblog posts about social justice however I think sexual desire is problematic and so is resting and other extravagant things. I have religious trauma, yk? I draw every BIPOC OC I make with piercings and make them physically large and imposing. I do not know what dark skinned people actually look like. Instead I make them gray and blue! it is so woke I am so obsessed with my OC's and haha quirky! Here is my one dimensional female character who does not meaningfully influence the plot! She has sassy dialogue but accepts physical abuse without unfeminine emotions like anger and self defense! I love women... I reblog any post mentioning a woman with sexual innuendo or assigning her a caregiving role! Please be patient, I am just a neurospicy bean......
THIS IS SARCASM AND DOES NOT REFLECT ANY VIEWS OP ACTUALLY HOLDS
