so! so. it's been a while. hello to everyone i've missed you all etc etc, and i'm here to hopefully give an update on the state of the blog?
so. i might. try and continue?
when i said "burnt out from ikesen" i knew the chances of me getting back were slim, but i? have picked up the game again after about 2-3 years and i lowkey wanna try to write for them again? and also i super duper miss tumblr-requests way of writing and i haven't gotten anything like it anywhere else?
oh gosh did i accidentally keep "matchups open!" in my bio for like the 2 years i've been inactive. wait omg i'm so embarrassed idk how long these have been
this is actually so embarrassing omg like. what do i do w em. can i see how old they are, someone might be minding their business and see a notif for a submission for a matchup they sent like TWO YEARS AGO... horrible for me. i wanna sink into the GROUND
oh gosh did i accidentally keep "matchups open!" in my bio for like the 2 years i've been inactive. wait omg i'm so embarrassed idk how long these have been
i was working on that comic again this weekend and realized i needed some sort of ref sheet for the ikesen MC to ground me a little. then i totally went bonkers with it and ended up with this mass of sketches of varying expressions for our lass.
i love reader insert otome content but i’m not very good with actually visualizing them as self-inserts. for me it’s fun to read vicariously through the heroines but have them maintain their in-game appearances. it gives me more opportunities to add more characterization/energy into the MC. tho the ikesen MC has plenty of energy as it is😂 she’s so fun
i’ve been wanting to get back in the groove of writing cause, for all the limited investment (story) i can get in a day, ikesen seems to really hook me in again. but i lost my previous account and i cannot for the LIFE of me remember much from the previous routes i’ve done? which are mitsuhide, mitsunari, sasuke, shingen, and kenshin (currently working my way thru hideyoshi’s). if anyone can help me jog my memory it’d be much appreciated! feel free to hmu
oh dear. oh my. around a year ago (maybe more?) i was all like “i am losing interest in ikesen. and therefore this blog is in shambles” but now the ikesen interest might be lighting up… and i might pick it back up and make this blog active, at least for a lil bit..
There is no one right way to be in fandom or to enjoy content, so… Just focus on whatever brings you joy! Hope you have fun while being back in the fandom! ☺️❤️
oh dear. oh my. around a year ago (maybe more?) i was all like “i am losing interest in ikesen. and therefore this blog is in shambles” but now the ikesen interest might be lighting up… and i might pick it back up and make this blog active, at least for a lil bit..
things that aren’t worthy to be called wips, cause i literally only had An Idea and deadass only wrote 2 words. like i was scrolling thru my drafts and found one that just had “you woke up”. wtf is up with that. so i’m just gonna lie down the basic thought for each of these, and Hopefully that’ll get it across so you’re just gonna have to imagine the fic yourself i’m sorry :pensive:
if anyone would like to use these ideas, please feel free and you don’t need to ask.
1. taking turns - a reader x sasuke fic
this was based on an idea i put int a post a long while ao, of... if sasuke had to wait four years until mc showed up in the sengoku era, then would the same potentially happen but reversed? cause i liked the idea a lot. reader coming to honno-ji every day despite having to juggle reclaim their past life (cause, come on, absence of three months is gonna do Sumn to your daily life and things surrounding it, like your rent, job, etc.) and i like subtle angs/comfort once sasuke Does come out of the wormhole.
2. a necessity they can’t see. - a male reader x yoshimoto fic.
this was at the time where i created my genderbent mai drawing? so i very much had the idea that male reader, who pertained the same hobbies like sewing and all, has always been ridiculed in the present for having a “girly” hobby. while i have yet to research about... gender “norms” in the sengoku period, i feel like men at that time at least have the Duty to fight in war or sumn right? some sorts like that. so my idea was that reader started doubting his abilities and his use to the people that protects him.
so while thinking Deeply on his worth and if he can do anything further, he bumps into yoshimoto while he’s browsing some pretty shit idk. yoshimoto sees the way that reader looks at the fabric with obvious expertise, although reader tries to scold himself for thinking about art in such a warring time.
talking talking stuff, which basically leads to yoshimoto saying his stance on art as an existence even in such a time. because to him, and my own personal belief, art is in a way, a necessity. perhaps you wouldn’t die without a lack of art like you would food or water, but in such a trying time, art would be invaluable because it’s an effect on the mental state/spirit than anything, and i’m sure we’ve all felt this especially during quarantine.
then reader basically goes “.............. oh. thanks yoshimoto.” and goes back to azuchi a changed perspective.
3. swap scenario - ikesen x ikevamp x ikerev crossover
honestly not a proper wip, but it just hit me like a freight train that i had this idea in the first place. gist was, the mc’s for each game got transported to each others’ worlds, with ikevamp mc -> ikerev, ikerev mc -> ikesen, and ikesen -> ikevamp. most of the mc personalities and names are kinda my own hcs.
(also important to note that ikepri wasn’t as big as a thing back then, nor do i even know anything abt ikepri now to brainstorm ideas)
let’s start with the first one, ikevamp mc in the ikerev universe. i think this may be the most, uhh normal maybe? ikevamp mc is shown to travel around and be multilingual, so the fact that it’s set in britain wouldn’t have a language barrier issue. also i think ikevamp mc would be very interested in (i think it was) 19s britain? even if it isn’t exactly britain but, close enough.
ikesen mc in ikevamp. i believe it’s been established before at Some point that they can speak english? or at least passed,, english tests idk. i remember seeing screencaps of nobunaga being like “yo shit u can read english?” and mc is like “yeah, i passed the whatever test back in something something”. and i’m not sure the scope of everyone in the mansion’s languages are, what they can and can’t speak, but at least english is a good starting point yeah?
ikesen mc, i imagined to be wary and maybe rough around the edges at first. i mean, last time they got transported back in time they met with warlords that did,,, unconventional things outside of the laws of her time. so when they’re put into the mansion with seemingly dead historical men, they can’t elp but be a bit cautious due to past experiences. but comte, as he always is,welcomes them as gently as he can, knowing that the whole situation is,,, disorienting, to put it in a word. he invites them to tea, talk over stuff and explain things to them as clear as he can, and slowly, realizing that these people don’t rlly bite (well. metaphorically they don’t. hopefully), mc starts warming up to them. also i like the idea of mc being super interested in the way of fashion and textiles back in 19th century france and just seeing the light in their eyes spark up so wildly now that they can see it up close.
finally, ikerev mc in ikesen. whoo boy. so to start things off, i think the main idea i had would be to try and bridge ikerev mc’s very clear disparity in the language barrier. iiii don’t recall if mc knew any other languages, but i’d assume 16th century japanese isn’t one of them,, or maybe even japanese at all. idk how language education was for 19th~ century britain. but yeah, the first hurdle to overcome is the fact that they don’t rlly speak the same language, especially when the warlords are confused that this person just showed up out of nowhere and might be more. rough around the edges. wary
even so, i think, while i consider ikerev mc to be more gentle and softer than the other two mc’s, they’re still very strong in their own way as well, in that they care a lot for the people around them and are very determined. so even while struggling with learning a language that has a whole new writing system, they would try to be compassionate to everyone around them, especially now with what war and all. kindness may not be able to solve the raging fires of battle, but at least it can soothe the wounded souls that come out of it. also i think it’d be super cute that, even though mc isn’t really articulating their thoughts that well with the language barrier, but still tries to do little things to show they Care like baking sweets in the kitchen and all that. it’d be v pleasant.
came across a post... a long, long while ago about a god of death type reader and got super interested, since of all the cyikemen games, ikesen is the one most surrounded by death on a larger scale (cause, war and stuff), so i wrote this at... 2020? almost one year before, at 21th of july. i had more of it written, but i really didn’t like it cause it felt too “quirky wattpad reader” and plus me just copying from the original prlogue without adding anything, so... yeah. enjoy!
(also, very important that anyone who wants to do whatever with this idea, feel free, no need to ask me)
You didn’t like your existence
To call it “your life” would be simply wrong; you don’t breathe, you don’t eat, you don’t sleep. All you are is a walking, talking existence that has a job to do until you fade away. You didn’t even like your job.
To lead a soul from their death to the Land of the Dead was a grim job. You learnt their regrets, their anger, their sadness, all which you knew was personal. But you had to be there. You had to ensure that their soul is at peace, so when the time comes to cross to the afterlife, they don’t get reincarnated as a ghost, stuck forever with their past emotions.
Shinigami, was your kinds’ name. God of Death.
You were a part of the blanket term ‘yokai’, or as some would call in other names such as ‘ayakashi’. Those who fall under the category were spirits, demons, animal-like creatures, or, similar to you, gods. For as long as you’ve known, supernatural creatures didn’t mesh with humans well most of the time.
Fear of unknown from both parties led to anger, rashness, and cut communication and involvement altogether for perhaps half your life.
You’ve existed for long; you stopped remembering the exact number after 1.000 years. All you did now was remember the year you came to the world, and do the math. But that doesn’t matter much, does it? The only thing you concerned yourself with is when you’ll fade away.
However, for your own sake, you do take a break. Such a job is heavy for the heart, and a walk doesn’t help as much, but it’s a nice thing nonetheless.
Kyoto. You were just done leading a soul that got caught in a traffic accident. You never traveled outside of the country, but would it really matter if you did? You still appreciated everything as it were; there has to be some light in a life to look forward to.
This particular city was rich in human history, you knew that. Maybe it’d be a fun thing to do, even if you didn’t have much an interest in it.
“All your famous warlord knowledge, packed in a mag! Come get one now!” A boy’s shouts filled the nearby streets, attracting attention from the occasional passerby’s. Including you. A Quick Guide To Your Warlords, the magazine read on the cover. Sounds interesting, and you were bored, so you took one and stuffed it in your pocket.
With a blank mind, you were brought forth to a temple by your wandering legs. Honno-ji. A small, quiet, quaint place. The setting sky burned up above as the small cries of the crickets sounded all around.
You’ve heard some stories of the small memorial in front of you. One of the unifiers of Japan died here—betrayed, as you remembered. But you can’t draw an exact name.
While drowning in your thoughts, the approaching presence coming to you was acknowledged but not paid mind to further. Until you shift your eyes to the side as said figure was in your peripheral vision—a man dressed in a lab coat. The two of you said no words, only continuing to gaze at the stone in front of you.
You only started to react when the sky above you turned darker and darker—not by the setting sun, but by the awfully black and almost purple clouds gathering up above you. That’s unusual, you’ve never seen anything like that in your life.
The once bright and bold sky now rained down drops of water on your face. You didn’t even notice you shifted to your human form—and a look at your hands covered in specks of droplets confirmed that.
“What poor timing.” The man next to you said, causing your eyes to glance at him. He looked solemnly to the monument, then to you, “Are you alright? Do you have an umbrella?”
“No, unfortunately. I didn’t expect it to rain. . .” your eyes linger to above his head, where a set of numbers and a small text was visible to you only. The death profile, as the others call. A set of information that shinigamis can see in most creatures, usually entailing their names, time of death, and cause of it.
It’s a cursing bit of information; always reminding you of what you are.
Out of nowhere, a thunder ripped through the clouds and hit directly on the small monument—a loud crackle following along. Your arm flew up to protect the man next to you by reflex, as your body stood there in momentary shock. You’ve seen death by lightning, but that was unlikely to happen now.
You whipped your head towards the human next to you, who seems the slightest bit appalled, but stood his ground. A strange thing catches your attention. . .
His death date. It’s flickering—changing.
From a century where he was supposed to die. . .to the 15-16th century.
A date of death changing has been a rare thing that happens, however unlikely, but—it’s never jumped that far before! To the past, too?
Utter shock froze you in place as the numbers flicker back and forth, leading your attention away from everything else—him asking you if you were okay, and most importantly—
—the black ball that formed where the stone was.
“Watch ou—“ before you can warn the man, the image of him next to you twisted and distorted, slowly getting sucked in whatever it was.
And so were you.
Wait! He isn’t supposed to die yet—!
The world faded to black.
Ugh. . .my head. . .
Your vision fades in and out, clear then blurry, until you’re finally wide awake. The scenery around you changed drastically, what was first a small place in the city of Kyoto is now. . .a dark forest. You’ve seen this kind of environment before in your memories—you just don’t know how you got here.
The lab coat guy—!
You immediately stood up from the dirt beneath you, looking around and trying to sense his soul around you. Nothing. Pursing your lips in slight unease, you started making your way through the criminally underlighted woods.
You’ve roamed around in the forest before. Most of your time on this world, you didn’t settle in a house or anything, you preferred to just wander around like a lost ghost. You didn’t have a need for one—you don’t need shelter, not food, not clothes, nor drinks. You were a lost ghost.
The branches and rocks and whatever else you tripped on didn’t bother you. All you were focusing on is now just. . .walking. Without even a set destination. The only guidance you had was the occasional moonlight that peeked through the trees up above.
As minutes pass by, you start feeling a faint presence of human souls.
It’s distant, and not much from how weak it is, but I should go and see.
All other senses were rendered useless for now as you focused on the source of the souls, and slowly marched your way to it. It grew closer and closer, until you saw a faint light coming in the middle of the forest.
Two people, you now concluded. Your footsteps remained silent and your presence unknown as you creep near the light.
A fire was set in a small clearing, and you can now see the two people. A man with dark hair, dressed in monk’s clothes and a scar marking his face, with another feminime-looking boy, purple-haired in armor.
“Are you ready for this, Ranmaru?” The monk spoke in a low voice. “You’re about to kill the demon. Bring him down for good.”
Kill, huh. An assassination was about to commence.
“. . .Yes, Master Kennyo.” The boy—Ranmaru—spoke, wavering in unease but still tried to be certain.
‘Master Kennyo’ smiled; a bitter, unresting one, “Good. They’ve light the fire at Honno-ji, arrive there and kill him. I will follow shortly once the fire has spread,”
“. . .Understood.”
Clutching his sword until it shook in his hand, Ranmaru turned around and walked off from the clearing.
You overheard the conversation and calmly watched his figure fade away. It isn’t your place to intervene—not if this is fate, but even so—you’ll follow him. At least you can rest the soul of the victim.
In silent steps trailing him, you heard a last piece from Kennyo. “Finally, we’ll have our revenge. . .”
You took your time in following Ranmaru’s path. If whoever’s assassinated dies, it’s soul will still remain until they can go to the afterlife. Time stops for them as long as it takes to get their soul guided away from the living land. Is it immoral in a way? Perhaps.
Unless. . .you can stop them from getting killed. But often when you try to intervene, the death happens either way.
So what’s the point?
Nihilistic thoughts aside, you sensed more human souls coming your way; five, from what you can tell. But you paid no mind to that. Until it got nearer, and nearer, and nearer, and—
“Oof.” In your blank stated mind, you bumped into someone, causing them to huff in surprise. You yourself paused and looked—a brown haired man wearing red armor, “Hey, watch where you’re going—!”
His complaints died on his tongue as soon as he finally saw who he bumped into. His expression, from a slightly irritated frown, turned more into one of confusion, “Huh? Hey, what’s someone like you doing here in the woods? Nighttime, also? Such weird clothing, too. . .”
His spoken words made you raise an eyebrow, “Ignoring all that, I’m sorry for bumping into you. I just had some business is all.”
“In the dead of night? What are you, an. . .enchantress? Those stories of w-witches in the forest?” The man’s voice wavered more with each passing word. The quirk in your eyebrow deepens.
“I assure you, I’m not—“
“Yuki~! We leave you for a few seconds and you’ve already found yourself a partner?” A velvet and rich voice arose from behind the dark bushes and trees, all of them being pushed aside to reveal an auburn haired man, this one more built in his body.
The one you’ve been talking to—Yuki—blushed and shook his head vehemently, “Ugh, no! I’m not like you; we just bumped into each other is all. And I think it’s some kind of witch, too—”
The redhead man tutted at Yuki in a disapproving manner, “Now, now, Yuki. Have I not taught you how to talk properly in front of such a beauty all this time?” His attention turns to you, and in a second, his eyes lit in passion, “Forgive me for his prudeness, my goddess, dear Yuki needs a lot more lessons than I thought. However. . .if you want to be with a real man, I’m always up for service.”
“Will you stop flirting with everything you meet. It’s disgusting.”
Three more people emerge from the shadows, the small bits of moonlight pouring to their features. The one who spoke was a blond one, cladded in blue armor and with eyes that said he wanted to have nothing to do with any of this.
“But Kenshin, you can’t just turn away at such a beauty laid in front of your eyes.” The flirt replied to the cold comment with a smirk.
“Stop. Or I’ll kill you.”
The bickering of the two were left unnoticed as another man with dark blue hair stepped up, far closer than what you were expecting. His hand reaches and caresses lightly on your clothes, “I have never seen such a design or material like this before. How fascinating. Would you like to switch with one of my kimonos?”
“Yoshimoto, I’ve already claimed them! Don’t steal them right under my nose.” Flirt Man threw a light complaint, turning away from Kenshin for a moment.
“Art is to be appreciated by everyone, Shingen.” Yoshimoto simply responds, now tugging lightly at the sleeves of your shirt.
Okay, you’ll admit it. You’re slightly overwhelmed.
So far, you haven’t said anything, mainly because you don’t want to. It feels like anything you say won’t make the situation better anyway. But still. . .even in your long life, this is quite bizzare.
You observed each of them one by one. Then your eyes landed to the last one, the same brown haired man you saw earlier. Now, in. . .some sort of ninja attire. While you tilted your head in slight curiosity, you’re at least satisfied to see he was safe.
And his death date has changed, too. . .
Speaking of death, you’re finally reminded of following. . .who was it, Ranmaru? to an assassination.
Gently freeing yourself from Yoshimoto’s admiring touches to your clothes, you bowed slightly in front of them, “I appreciate meeting all of you, but I have to go.”
You don’t see Sasuke opening his mouth to say something, and neither do the others, as you walked off to the darkness.
You thought by losing your way from your unofficial guide, you wouldn’t find the destination. But luckily, even going in the same direction as he did led you to it. Honno-ji. This time, it’s in the midst of drowning in fire. You made your way through the front door and entered where the fire wouldn’t reach you—but it wouldn’t make a difference anyway.
And in the middle of the room not yet entirely covered in flames, was who you assume the victim, sleeping. The cause of death, “died in an assassination while the building was set on fire”, said as much. Dressed in black armor, you could tell he was important, somehow. Not everyone can casually wear one, despite the past few people you’ve met been donning it.
The text displayed above the man’s head displayed the same old. Nobunaga Oda.
On the other side, you see a silhouette approaching steadily, sword in hand. Ranmaru, you guessed. You double checked yourself to make sure you weren’t visible to the human’s eye, and you were just fine with watching another death as you have—
Until, for the second time today, the death date for Nobunaga Oda flickered.
You froze as what was 21st of July, 1582, blinked into a later date. Much later.
What. . .?! That was the second time today—what am I supposed to—
Your chest felt heavy, and your hands trembled in uncertainty of what you should do. Do you save him? Watch him die? Would he even die at this moment? Or would it be later? You’ve never been in this position—the answer was always clear. And now you’re terrified.
Your body swayed back and forth violently, as two sides fought in your head of what to do. But time was running out—he’d be assassinated if you didn’t take this chance. And he’d die. That’s the same as you killing him, you thought, and you’ve sworn to never do such a thing.
From your disarrayed thoughts, your legs moved on their own and walked to him. You’re saving him, then.
YIEEE PLATONIC MATCHUPS. Anyone who has had the misfortune to hear me mention that word, will know that I’m the biggest hoe for friendships and family stuff. So this makes me so happy 🥺🥺🥺 I can’t. Thank you sm for doing this, and remember to take care of yourself!
Personality: ENTP-T/Aquarius. I tend to be very stubborn, argumentative, and blunt, but I try to tone it down around my loved ones. I’m open minded, hardworking and passionate about the things I love, and I never shy away from a challenge. In true ENTP fashion, I’m arrogant, but aware of my own faults. I’m quite clever, but I start doubting my abilities pretty quickly.
How I act around friends: If you’re a person I like and I’ve known you for long enough to be comfortable around you, I’m a high-calibre crackhead, and a bit overbearing with my mother hen attitude. My nickname for you, depending on your comfort levels, is either an insult or some tooth-rottingly sweet name. If I haven’t known you for too long, I’m bound to be a bit more careful with my words as I’m afraid I’ll fuck smth up and make you feel uncomfortable. It takes me a long long time to be certain that you won’t drop your bags and run away after I’ve made one tiny mistake. If you’re someone that I don’t like, I’ll be the epitome of sass and smartass, but that’s only if you’re amusing enough (god I sound like a dick). Strangely enough, I’ve often come to like people like that—even becoming close friends with them—who aren’t afraid to retaliate. I like some mental spar here and there. If you don’t get upset or smth, I’ll just ignore you and be civil (unless you’re scum).
Hobbies/Interests: Dancing, baking, English literature (but really any literature), debate, history, sports.... I have too many interests and hobbies to the point of losing sight of all of them. Due to that, I have a lot of surface knowledge, so I’m pretty much a jack of all traits master on none. I’m eager to learn more things, so I don’t mind if a friend doesn’t share too many hobbies with me. Me and my best friends pretty much share none.
Pet Peeves/Things I need in a relationship: I just mentioned that me and my best friend don’t really have a common interest, but we’re able to comfortable talk about everything. It doesn’t always have to be deep talk/intellectual stuff (tho I really really really like some intellectual convos), but I need to be able to talk with you if we’re friends.
Beyond that, I’ll also need you to tell me your honest opinions, and whether anything that I do makes you uncomfortable. Communication is vv important to me.
I hope that’s enough info for you to work with. You know where to find me if you’ve got any questions 💜💜💜 take care sweets!
FUCKING SAME i’m not saying that i would rather be in a found family with everyone rather than date a, or several, warlords,, but i would rather be in a found family with everyone. it is literally my favorite shit ever
(sorry if this doesn’t fit your liking!)
i match you with. . .
— nobunaga!
you were extremely snippy with nobunaga when you first met. the moment he stepped out of the burning temple was where he, one of the great unifiers of japan, was free game to you.
you did not take kindly to him practically kidnapping you (although you had no place to stay, but hey, consent was important) which, may have led a blade to your throat in courtesy of hideyoshi, but (un)fortunately, nobunaga told him to stand down. which he did, but not without glueing a dirty look on you the entire way back.
and such continues. you were completely blunt with your feelings of him dragging you to the battlefield (it being absolute refusal). yet here you are, in front of the burning castle as its occupants spilled out.
the words you said to him, you’ve forgotten, but it was enough to render him silent. something about the distant, detached, perhaps even melancholic look in his eyes made you flinch.
and as the days progressed, it continued to haunt you. not only that, but also the news that nobunaga’s shoulder was injured from protecting you.
. . .well, maybe you went too far—
even if your respect was low enough that you didn’t care how he felt—it was still good to keep him in good terms. you didn’t want the guy in control of like the biggest clan to be iffed with you.
so you came to him in his tenshu that night. both to thank him, and apologize to him if you said something wrong.
in response, he. . .laughed?? seeing your face, equal parts irritated and confused, he bared a fiery grin, “you’ve been prudent and called me names this entire time, yet you’re apologizing if you made me uncomfortable?”
“yeah, what about it?”
your expression was now full on irritated, and he laughed again, a booming voice that echoed through the night, “no one’s ever treated me as such. you’re an interesting one, fireball.”
“can’t say the same to you. you remind me of a middle school boy who has a ‘holier than thou’ complex, except this time you’d be arrested for committing warcrimes.”
honestly you stayed not by the classic definition of “he was interesting”, but more so “the AUDACITY of this bastard. tf is he up to nexti Have to see”
on the nickname scale, definitely jabbing him in the guts deal! ofc, he’d prefer you to not use such burning nicknames in the presence of important figures, but you’ve managed your way through... backhanded and subtle ones. it’s something he picks up, and silently view as a challenge.
he’d enjoy talking about any and all interests, no matter how experted you are at those. cause even if you’re average at it, it’s all to widen his views and he enjoys hearing about things like that, even if some times he might not understand, so the fact that you know so much is definitely a topic fuel for weeks on end.
he’d also enjoy having deep convos/debating with you. not many people talk back to him, so to have someone who does and can give him new perspectives is refreshing indeed, no matter how stubborn he is.
i feel like nobunaga, as outspoken with his thoughts he may be, is... emotionally stunted, so to say. he isn’t at all going to hold back on his feelings and opinions on if you’re crossing a line or making him uncomfortable, but with more trivial matters, he might not pick up on the cues to atcually speak up his mind, so you might have to ask him first (which then would go smooth sailing i feel, cause again, he is very outspoken)
honestly? all in all, you know those friendships where you constantly but heads with each other and you seem like you cannot stand each other (you can’t), but if worst comes to it, you’ve got each others’ backs? an “i’ll kill you and i’d kill For you” type deal. sort of more rivalry siblings in a way? yeah, that.
Aw. Sorry to hear that you ain’t doin so hot. I truly hope things get better for you later. Just wanted to check in and it’s okay you’re not into Ikémen anymore. I just rather you keep the blog still up because I really did like your writing
thank you a lot! it also does make me sad to leave y'all, especially with the amount of support you've shown me. but i definitely do have other places i'm "active" at (or, more active than this that's for sure), even if the interest is obviously not ikesen (but other otome games, probably. tears of themis catching my attention abt now). thank you for everyone's support so much, i appreciate it a lot more than i can word em!
impulse decisions at 2 am, but i’ve made the choice that before i announce my leaving of this blog, and consequentially every other sideblog i had, i’ll post all my drafts, to varying extents. some are wips, some just barely-started ones that i consider “concepts” more than anything (which i’ll try to expand on, if it’d give anyone inspiration), and the sort. to everyone that had their matchup.request ghosted, i’m so sorry i couldn’t work on them in the end and got your hopes up, i hope you forgive me and have a nice day!
absolutely not good! ah, permission to use this ask for a reason to rant bellow.
warning, mental health talk. nothing too bad, i just wanna get stuff that's important out of my chest
i'll be real with you! my mental health is like, steadily going down. it has its bouts of going up, when i feel like it's alright and it'll be better, but i think if it were a graph, and you zoomed out to look at it from afar, you can see that it's climbing down than anything. like a slow feather's descent. blb;hb;bjhbhb but it can't be helped much, can it?
school is starting soon, on top of that. absolutely not looking forward to it. made myself a lil goal to try better at school!! put more effort!! and yet the days come closer and i just feel ughghhgh let me be a worm and return to the soil PLEASE.
... on the bright side, i got my first shot of vaccine?
but that's enough about me. i think i'll speak more about,,, well, less of announcements and more of what i've thought so far for this blog.
so. i ddddon't think i can get back into ikesen, at least for like, years or something. it's just a different level of burn out, i guess? cause i feel bad with all the matchups and requests rotting in my inbox, but i know if i work on it it'll feel like so much of a chore... so i think ikesen is a dead end for me. if i were to come back, it'd probably be in a long time.
... i've also been thinking of deactivating my blog, ngl. that is, if my posts can still stay up cause i dddon't actually know how this works, but i kinda want fans that haven't seen my work to get a chance, yk? not for me, but for them. it wouldn't be my complete leave from tumblr, cause believe it or not, i have an actual actual tumblr that i,,,, have not used since, what, 2019? or at least, haven't used properly and consistently. so, you know, if you still wanna see what i may be up to that can be sumn (although i don't,,, post much,,, i have things to post i'm just. lazy to.)
ah... that may be it so far. to those that sent stuff in my inbox but have met radio silence, me getting your hopes up from a stupid lil idea and me abandoning it, i'm sorry. i hope you understand, and i hope you find someone who can give you what you want in the future, and i wish the best of luck to you, and to them.
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