Rad Dad™

hi there my name's ireen

[ulibeanzz]

when the months keep passing by even though you’re not in the head space to emotionally process them and you realize it is impossible to escape the passage of time

[mischiefissirius-deactivated201]

being gay is way more fun when you have someone to be gay with

[dubiousculturalartifact]

i think most people are interpreting this as wanting a partner, but also being gay is way better when you have a bunch of gay friends

[wunkolo]

how did you get banned on soundcloud?

A month ago during the “soundcloud is going down” scare I wrote a script that basically downloaded my entire corner of SoundCloud at incredibly abusive speed and got bandwidth-banned for a month since CloudFlare detected it as a mass DDOS (which is fair I mean I was downloading like terabytes of data)

[wunkolo]

[gharibajameel]

LGBT:

Lets

Go

Tothe

Beach beach

ninki minjaj

[bunnyfood]

[shitshilarious]

meredith, how do i open a new tab

[noisegf]

From now on I’m only taking fashion advice from the Sailor Moon series

[noisegf]

Like let’s be real here

Every girl in sailor moon is a lesbian and I’m stealing all of their looks

[yeahiwasintheshit]

[every1one]

this is how people 5'4" and under unload the washer

[northern-snoots]

We may have ordered the wrong size bed :P

[northern-snoots]

Glad it made everyone laugh :) thought it would brighten up a Monday :P It was actually for the beardie and Pod thought it was for him :) Rocky seems happy with it though

[1humblebee]

from @LegitimatNoodle on twitter

[jasonapham]

[enchanted-dystopia]

REPRESENTATION MATTERS.

[profeminist]

[mysliceoffun]

Representation is SO important.

[thinksquad-deactivated20190405]

[disneydorito]

View this post on Instagram

[valykas-deactivated20190916]

This is amazing

[fartproducer-deactivated2026013]

Ok but how did they make it look like he was driving

[surprisebitch]

this deserves an academy award nomination

[cobaltdays-deactivated20210208]

Me: *is having a good day*

Phone: *ring-a-ding-a-lings*

Sugar daddy #4: I’m sorry I have to tell you this way but we can’t be together anymore my wife found out about us and she-

Me:

[fckin-deactivated20171107]

I’m thinking about her

[eclipsebykimlipmp3-deactivated2]

forbidden fruit

[isaacmemes]

Why do grown ass adults want to eat Tide pods so much?

[kitswulf]

Because a ton of the visual/olfactory/textural sensory information these pods give me the match nutritionally-dense fruit. It’s got the oleic gleam of something high-fat like an avocado, but bright carotenoid-rich coloration like a berry that wants to be eaten by red-seeing primates and birds. It tends to smell sweet and slightly floral, enhancing that effect. Similarly, when you hold it, it is quite dense (denser than water), but very soft and liquid, once again reaffirming that this “fruit” has either high sugar or high fat content and almost no cellulose to it.

As a result, within me is a less-clever monkey just screaming to eat this delicious fruit in my hand about to go into the laundry, and it does in fact take willpower to tell him he’s a stupid monkey and this is a bubble of foul-tasting poison. But every time I do laundry, this fucking limbic monstrosity rises again and assures me it’s basically like a cherry but Even Better. I have legitimately debated just biting down on one in the hopes of inducing a deterrent memory to forestall this urge in the future, but that’s what my goddamn mammal-brain wants me to fucking do and I refuse to let it win.

[ciphercoyote]

Human Brain: Don’t eat the posion pod its fucking posion Monkey Brain: Eat the fruit pod its fruit Lizard Brain: The Washing Machine Is Vibrating Give It The Sex Fish Brain: Climb inside the washing machine it is safe.

[adeles]

#mood everyday

[boarcriminal-deactivated2018052]

your 20s are for sucking dick and traveling

[sungawddess-deactivated20180923]

I’m just sucking dick cause that’s the free option

[good-stims]

Chameleon colour-changing paint (source)