who am i

this used to be a vent blog

[twinsfawn]

i died like 5 years ago my body just kept going

[stazher]

a piece about nuclear war

[cataplat]

cooking with trauma

[deathgasmic]

i am completely fine in an “i have been mentally unwell for years” kinda way

[servuscallidus]

I'm going to *remembers suicide is often not a desire for death itself but rather an attempt to radically change one's life because the current state of being has become unbearable but the person can't think of any way to change it other than death* kill myself

[64mpg]

those days where your entire train of thought is just “I CAN’T FUCKING DO THIS I CAN’T DO THIS I’M NOT GONNA MAKE IT PLEASE HELP ME” and whole time ur just like. sitting at your desk completely fine

[lilyblisslys]

there should be a cool, chill way to say things like “I’m struggling” or “I’m having a hard time” that doesn’t imply you might have needs

[kosmogrl]

[lesbianbloodritual]

it turns out that making big positive changes in your life is great but it also forces you to reckon with the years you spent not really living and makes you feel like you're carrying the corpse of a 20 year old girl on your back

[tlirsgender]

"Maybe it's just stress/anxiety" is so crazy as a Dismissive Statement because even when it *is* anxiety it's such an understatement to be like "how about you just chill out idk" when your body is poisoning itself with its own stress hormones. Like okay sometimes it is anxiety. This is still physically happening to me

[tlirsgender]

"It's probably just stress" and it's like well documented that it can just kill people sometimes

[hewoweens]

u can be boiling alive in your mind for months and then on a random tuesday ur head gets so clear and life is worth living again and you're like damn what was all that about then

[borderlinereminders]

What we don’t talk about enough with BPD is that the feelings themselves often make sense.

Feeling rejected when you’re excluded, feeling angry when you’re dismissed, feeling sad when you’re left out… those are normal, reasonable emotions. Sometimes it’s our interpretation of the facts and not the facts themselves that trigger the intensity, but either way, the upset is still valid and understandable.

Recovery doesn’t mean erasing those feelings or treating them like they’re “wrong.” The problem isn’t that we feel them. The problem usually comes from how intensely we feel them, how fast they hit, and how hard it can be to regulate what comes next.

I feel like a lot of recovery focuses on the feelings being wrong. And they aren’t.

Your feelings aren’t broken. They’re valid.

The work is in learning to carry them without letting them take you under.

[tothechaos]

[in the notes app] there is an ancient evil inside of me and it will devour anyone who gets too close to me whole

[30 seconds later in the group chat] OMGGGGG if we were pigeons we would absolutely make a nest together #ournest

[goldensunset]

i’m really sorry about my behavior. you see, growing up, my family- *remembers blaming all my problems on other people is really annoying and unhealthy* i mean. i am responsible for all the evils of this world and i bear sins like the sky bears the stars

[redstonedust]

yeah i don't understand why people say they would still want to work if they had a choice, the physical and mental toll of employment is unbearable. i mean i can barely stomach getting out of bed most days, not to mention the emotional breakdowns and recurring desire to run away and become a missing persons case- [there is a man standing behind me with a comically large hammer labelled 'UNDIAGNOSED DISABILITY'] yo who invited this guy. what's he doing here.

[64mpg]

guy who has a mental health condition that comes and goes: i’m cured this time actually i can feel it

[64mpg]

same guy when they start having symptoms again: what the fuck is happening and why

[cyber-newtype]

(in the middle of a heartfelt conversation, with concerning sincerity) and dont forget that I am evil, and that my death will be announced with singing in the streets