...

female | 18 | leo I just write here what I think.

[ratherunknownatthistime]

everyone thinks I‘m such a happy person and that I have it all together. But really I‘m dying inside. I don‘t have it all together. I‘m falling apart.

[ratherunknownatthistime]

For a long time, I wandered through life without knowing what I truly wanted. I dabbled in various interests, convinced that I would find my path in the world of technology, where I excelled. Psychology always held a special place in my heart; I cherished the insights it offered about human behavior and emotions. Yet, despite these interests, I felt a void—something was missing. I never had a true passion or hobby that ignited my soul.

Then he came into my life and changed everything. Through his eyes, I began to see the world differently. It was in our moments together that I stumbled upon a new passion: photography. He showed me the beauty in capturing fleeting moments, the art of telling stories through images, and the power of perspective. Suddenly, my heart raced at the thought of becoming a photographer.

This realization filled me with excitement and anticipation, like discovering a hidden treasure within myself. Photography is not just a hobby; it’s a way for me to express the emotions I once struggled to articulate. With every click of the shutter, I feel a sense of freedom and creativity that I never knew I craved.

Now, as I embark on this journey to become a photographer, I am filled with hope and determination. This is my moment of awakening, and I am ready to explore the world through my lens, capturing the beauty and rawness of life. Join me as I embrace this new chapter, where every photograph will reflect my journey, my struggles, and the love that has inspired me to finally chase my dreams.

[ratherunknownatthistime]

Four years ago, I shared my thoughts here, often dark and full of doubts. Back then, I was 18—young and somehow lost, unsure if life could ever take on the colors I had secretly dreamed of. Today, I am 22, and although my journey has been bumpy, I have found something I once thought was impossible.

I have found someone who sees my scars and still loves me as a whole. A person who reminds me that life is not just about the shadows I often described before. He has taught me to accept myself and recognize my own strength. With him by my side, I have found the courage to rewrite my story—a story that no longer consists solely of sadness and feeling lost, but also of hope, love, and the desire to start a new chapter.

I am ready to take you along on this journey. The dark quotes I used to share here were just a part of me—a part that is still there but no longer makes up the whole picture. Maybe it’s time to let the light in and show the transformation that has happened over the past few years.

My life has taken a new direction, a direction I never thought possible when I first entered this platform. But I don’t want to push anything away or erase it—the past is part of my story, and without it, I wouldn’t be here. But today, I have something I didn’t have before: hope. And I invite you to witness this new chapter with me, step by step.

[ratherunknownatthistime]

how do you describe the feeling of wanting to be alone but not feeling lonely? because idk.

[ratherunknownatthistime]

I am everyone's therapist. But who is mine?

[ratherunknownatthistime]

a men is not a necessary, a man is a luxury like dessert. yeah, a man is absolutely not necessary. I adore men, i love men, i think men are the coolest but you don‘t need them to live. my mom said me: you know sweetheart one day you should settle down and marry a rich man. I said: mom I am a rich man. You know my experience with men is great because I pick them because I like them. I don‘t need them.

[ratherunknownatthistime]

the abused becomes the abuser.

[ratherunknownatthistime]

I realized all my life I‘ve been alone.

Nobody has ever been there for me.

[ratherunknownatthistime]

I accepted it already, but it still makes me sad.

[ratherunknownatthistime]

I love you and I hope that you are fine where you are now.

† 09.11.2020

[ratherunknownatthistime]

I feel...nothing. I don’t feel anything. I wake up and think: again? really? I have to do this again?

[ratherunknownatthistime]

I‘m glad we only live once cause I can‘t do this shit again lol

[ratherunknownatthistime]

i wanna marry you man why are you taking so long to reply

[ratherunknownatthistime]

tell me about your worst act and let me love you anyway.

[ratherunknownatthistime]

Seeing my friends happy makes me happy. I wish the best for them. They deserve it!

[ratherunknownatthistime]

Hi I felt to tell you that everything you are feeling will pass, as do the clouds in the sky. your thoughts are like clouds, but remember that you are the sky and not the clouds. 💗 I just wanted to tell you this, smile more and enjoy every day as if it were the last. you are light. You are marvel. I love you. Who are you? look around. What is the world? It's a miracle. live, you are alive, everything is in you. we are one

Thank you. Only wish you the best, you deserve it!

[ratherunknownatthistime]

I feel it's getting bad again. Why do all things always happen at once? Why is nobody there for you at this moment and everything is more important to them? Why? I just want to know one reason. I started cutting myself again because that's the only thing that helps me for a little while. fuck it.