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alex / he/they / 26 / aroace / sometimes i write stuff

[corndog-patrol]

they be grillin

original:

[corndog-patrol]

Merry Christmas!!! 

[reimu-archive-2]

if instead it was “do you like penis coladas”. that would be fucked up and wrong on so many levels. but it merits discussion.

[reimu-archive-2]

sorry also

[motherfucker-unlimited]

and getting cock in the rain

[reimu-archive-2]

i want you to know that i also thought that line. i also thought ‘and getting cock in the rain’. but i didn’t post it. because i thought ‘for sure that would be too far’.

look what you’ve done to this post.

[marisatomay]

because there are so many of us (catholicism) my cousins and i do a secret santa every year and i have my 8 year old cousin who is apparently now as voracious a reader as i was at her age so i’m currently taking suggestions for books you loved when you were 8-12

[ratical-rats]

The magic tree house books were some of my favorites at that age!

[finalgirl]

if you’re a “man” where’s your black nail polish

[corndog-patrol]

aizawa is clingy like a cat <3

[corndog-patrol]

mic is a great father

[chismosavirus]

the bunnies did the lady and the tramp kiss. help i’m crying

[chismosavirus]

enemies to lovers

[hotvampireadjacent]

[generallemarc]

Every kid had that moment where they realized that the guy who wrote these books was also the creator of Poptropica, and after that life was never the same.

[bitemeilovewaffles]

He created poptropica??

[bitch-baby-chucklefuck]

Scrolling through tumblr is like being pummeled by bricks

[goatpaste]

Attacka

[world-heritage-posts]

world heritage post

[goatpaste]

Oh good glad to hear

[goatpaste]

in honor of this becoming a world heritage post or whatever

a long awaited squeakquel i meant to make months and months ago

[goatpaste]

to everyone in the tags with the “homophonic bowser” “so long gay bowser” and  “love DOESNt win”

your all wrong, bowser is just already in a committed relationship

[goatpaste]

to everyone saying mario is a homewrecker, heres the truth

they just have the same taste

[goatpaste]

for some reason yall have stuck around this long so now your gonna get the MOST self indulgent sammi posting with the awnser to this

we go back to 2014 when i first watch that shitty live action mario movie, it was so bad i loved it so much. i knew it sucked but i was SO into it i loved it so much

and i specifically had a small crush on the lady who played the character big bertha, who was based on a one off comic character who was a giant cheep cheep who had a crush on mario. and in the movie was was also into mario. and let me tell you 14-15 year old cringe ass sammi drew SO much fanart of her as a mermaid who was in love with mario

so this one goes out to little crange ass baby nae nae sammi 

mario and his giant spikey mermaid gf

[datkooby]

[gayelectro]

Hey OP, I hope you know that this went from an amazing post to literally the best post on this site

[worldheritageposts-official]

World Heritage Post

[goatpaste]

Two time award winning post

[32144543565476675-deactivated20]

seeing this made me feel like i just got a letter informing me of my own death

[lemon-3ds]

[seymour-butz-stuff]

[sharkangelic]

The Ring: If I had a quarter for every time a hobbit picked me up, I’d have two quarters.  The Ring: Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

Of all the bearers of Sauron’s ring, 4 of them were hobbits.

[markwateneymemorialcrater]

I was wrong. It’s 5. Not 4

The lineage of ring bearers is as follows.

Sauron.

Isildur

Deagol

Sméagol

Bilbo

Frodo

Samwise

[kaispeakshermind]

I love how Deagol counts as a ring bearer even though he had it in his possession for all of like five seconds

[uberguber89]

He held it for the rest of of his life!

[animanightmate]

[Image description: Tweet by @banalplay saying “but something happened then that the ring did not intend. it was picked up by the most unlikely creature imaginable: a hobbit, the same fuckin thing that just had it for like 500 years.” End Image Description.] Link to original here. Otherwise reblogging for the final rb there, which made me cackle.

[elidyce]

From the ring’s perspective:

1. Home, the finger of my creator and other self.

2. Well, I don’t like it but I can work with this. Cause some trouble, get some revenge, find my way home, this is fine.

3. What the fuck is you?

4. Right personality, wrong species, I don’t know what you are but I hate you and I don’t know why you’re so resistant to my powers.

5. NO NO NO there are goblins everywhere how did I find another one of THESE horrible things. This one’s even more resistant than the last one and also disgustingly nice. I suffer.

6. Listen, I’ll cooperate, just get me the fuck out of this hellhole full of small cheerful people my power doesn’t work on properly. No, not like that. I hate you. Please stop. 

7. FUCK

8. (Frodo again) I still hate you with every molecule of my mortal form but at least you’re not number seven. Think I’m starting to get through finally. 

9. (Smeagol again) YES it’s you I actually missed you now get me back to the Master and NO FUCK NO I HATE YOOOOUUUUU…. *fzt* 

[kiwivee]

[kelssiel]

you CHAIN The One Ring?! you chain it like the prisoner?! oh! OH! trauma! deep psychological trauma for hobbits for One Thousand Years!

[corndog-patrol]

Just eri getting treated like the princess she is <3

[forestfolke]

Maintenance 

[areyousanta]

fullmetal alchemist

[areyousanta]

FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST

[quinndolyns-deactivated20220403]

mario is going to do the regular mario "here we go!!" exactly once at the start of the movie before coughing violently and then apologizing in chris pratts voice

[yoinkysplo1nky]