dare you

moon jongup is not your typical ravenclaw. xvii, pure blood, troublemaker

[ravseungjun-blog]

sanctuary

[ravup]

ravseungjun:

emotions, feelings, pain. they were fine when they were written in a book and someone elses problem outside of his own. they were fine when they weren’t jagged glass digging into his heart and pressing into his lungs so he couldn’t breathe. he didn’t like them when they were like this and he found himself squeezing his eyes shut to block them out. a steady breath in and another out, pressing his lungs into the pain slowly and adjusting himself to it. swallowing up his pride as he glances at jongup and tries to ignore how much he had hoped to hear jongup say his name like he used to. how his voice used to be sweet like honey, dripping warmth through him. now it was cold and painful, watching jongups shaky hand and noticing how he can’t even look at him. ‘thank you. for… not caring’. the words close up seungjun’s throat as he realizes that he’s done something wrong; he’s always done something wrong. “yeah,” he exhales softly, biting his bottom lip and averting his gaze. there’s a second of hesitation before he shifts, moves closer to jongup and reaches out to take the youngers hand. his longer fingers flipping the hand palm up, beginning to trace along the lines. “you don’t remember it. it’s not your fault. you.. you don’t have to explain it,” seungjun speaks with a shrug of his shoulders; he’s useless at emotional talks. it’s easier to shrug and say he doesn’t care. but he swallows down, hoping to clear up where he thought jongup misunderstood. “i don’t care about the explanation,” he shakes his head as he speaks, letting his hand slip up to comb through jongups hair. its soft, like he remembers. the weight in his chest and the shrug of his shoulders again. “it was only the summer. i… it doesn’t matter.. it’s okay if you don’t remember it.”

It was almost alien to listen to those words coming from seungjun, someone he was so used to listen to good words, enticing, provocative, sincere. He didn’t know what happened to them on that moment, what kind of dimension he suddenly jumped into or was transported - all he knew was that it hurt, maybe even more than the throbbing pain in his head, one that made his whole body feel numb to the touch; only seungjun's touch bruned his skin when he touched jongup’s hand and immediately he flinched, the urge of taking his hand back and crossing his arm almost as tempting as he allowed the touch, eyes closed and his breath unsteady. the words were supposed to calm him, to make him understand but they did quite the opposite, they made him nervous and raw, fragile and weak, all things jongup avoided at all costs. Deep down inside his mind there was this part that would be understanding, rational even, that knew what seungjun was saying was just to calm him, to maybe bring them close to the moments when everything was okay and seemed just perfect, before the terror of remembering another part of his stolen past made itself present. suddenly he felt like talking back, suddenly that seemed the only right thing to do at the time so he did it, as he pulled his hand, just like he first thought of and it was all cold again because the distance between them was growing even more. "it's not fucking okay, seungjun." and jongup felt his rage rise, he was already seeing red when he turned his body and faced the taller man. He expected him to be more...caring, yes, that was the right expression but then he remembered how he shouldn’t expect much from people, why should it be different with seungjun? “It’s my fucking life, it’s not only a summer that i don’t remember, it’s everything. Do you have any idea how it is to have your memories stolen? To not being able to remember things, to have a nagging feeling that something isn’t right?” and he takes a deep breath and it’s only when he ran a hand through his blue hair that he noticed how clouded his eyes, how the tears were freely falling as he spoke “ever since the beginning i knew you were familiar to me, there was always something there and they stole that from me. I can’t even...I fucking hate this.” and a moment of clarity made him think that perhaps seungjun didn’t want to keep listening to what he was saying, didn’t want to get involved and guilty floored him - no one was supposed to accept the failure that was his life and the mistakes his parents made. “I’m sorry. I ruined Yule for you.” he sighed. “Perhaps you should return to your girlfriend.” the word sounded bitter as soon as he spoke; no, he wasn’t jealous. “I’m sure it’s better than being here.”

[ravseungjun-blog]

sanctuary

[ravup]

ravseungjun:

there’s a quiver deep inside seungjun’s bones that reminds him of how tightly he’s clenching his hands into fists and how hard he’s trying to keep his expression empty, dull, unaffected; like a child with no comprehension of what is to come. even when he knows. even when he watches the clothes get turned into blankets like they were going to soften the blow and he seats himself at the distance from jongup like it may offer some safety for him. it’s going to hurt. it already hurts. and he watches the younger males lips part, talking about a charm, his parents, a situation that weighed on the air until it was stifling to intake breaths and seungjun lowered his head to hide the way he was counting out his breaths to himself. he could understand; he could understand why parents would want to hide that. his mother had wanted to protect him, hide him, save him, and done more harm than good. he could comprehend it, know it, write down every logical and reasonable explanation for what happened. but it still hurt, stung at his edges as he glanced at jongup. everything they’d had together was forgotten; only seungjun remember. only him. he would have felt alone–lonely–if that wasn’t what he was used to. a crinkle of his nose, the breathy ends of a chuckle. “but i always liked the trouble you caused.  it was fun,” the ravenclaw chooses to joke instead. like a fool. he was good at that. a sense of pride he had when everything was salted glass, jaggedly digging into his palms as he tried to collect himself up before anyone noticed. “and i think, if you wanted to use an excuse, you’d find a better one than that,” he adds with a shrug of his shoulders. he can’t quite bring himself to look at jongup, with his legs folded to his chest for protection and his body curled up as small as he could make it, seungjun tried his hardest to remain at ease. “i don’t care. it was fun. seeing if you remembered me or were messing with me. it was a game.”

( a game he seemed to have lost. )

And now everything has a whole different weight, as he listens to seungjun’s words, as his brain processes every single one of the things he was saying. Seungjun jokes, seungjun treats the whole situation as if it is a game, as if he had been playing the whole time, and as much as jongup wants to be reasonable and strong, he isn’t, not when the memories are still crashing against his skull and he doesn’t have his potions with him. not when all he expects is understanding and not an ironic pat on the shoulder, a dismissive and impersonal way of showing he didn’t care; maybe he doesn’t and jongup had been wrong all along, that the male in front of him is nothing but a mirage of the one he suspected he used to be, when they touched and something inside of him sparkled, maybe that all was just another product of his imagination and he had been wrong all along. No, jongup isn’t naïve to believe that seungjun would easily forgive him for that, but he never really thought he would act that way, as if nothing mattered, as if they didn’t matter. “oh, yeah, a game.” He forces out his words, as his head throbs and hurts even more and again he curses his family for doing what they did, for condemning him to that reality. Now he really wants to leave and he even finds the strength to stand up, the urge for his potions being even stronger than the way he just wants to ask seungjun to forgive him and just be there with him, for the night at least, to pretend they’re still the same people, that nothing changed; instead he runs a shaking hand through his hair and avoids the taller’s stare, feeling even more miserable than before. “thank you. For…not caring.”

[byzelofilm]

You want me, you’ve fallen for me…

[ravup]

rendez vous ⚡ seungjun

[ravup]

ravseungjun:

[...]

a pure naivete lingered on his expression, fluttered in his lashes as he glanced over the apartment behind jongup and then down to the long fingers against the fabric of his jacket. his eyes curved as he smiled and bobbed his head. “happy holidays to you too,” he replied out of courtesy, leaning in peck jongup’s cheek.

he chuckles as he sinks back, “are you going to let me in?”

and jongup felt the familiarity of the pull when he listened to seungjun's words, pretty much like being groundless when touching a portkey, something impredictable and nice at the same time as the other spoke and he felt himself chuckle in response, because it's so obvious of the taller man, that he can't even bring himself to complain.

still he did it, shamelessly.

"so war and peace is more fascinating than spending some time with me?", he even tried to pout at him to prove his point, but just ended up playing with seungjun's jacket again, the kind of thing he did without even thinking, a way of bringing him closer. "what to expect from a Ravenclaw?"

the truth was that he was bored and didn't want to be alone. it would have been easier of jaewon was there, he would never try to contact seungjun because things were still raw and different between them, he still had so many things in his head. however, with the danger surrounding his family and his brother staying in hogwarts, when jongup left the manor and bolted to his apartment, the only person he thought about having with him was the one standing there, a few steps from a hug.

his lips perked up in an open and relaxed smile when seungjun kissed him, not really ignoring the way his skin tingled with that simple gesture. his hand  found its way to the taller's male's forehead and he brushed off a few strands of his soft hair. "thank you."

looking over his shoulder, he sighed, giving him some space, finally, the door finally opened, a little piece of his life ready to be explored by seungjun. "go ahead, make yourself at home."

[ravup]

following the closing of lxn, i’d like to inform that Jongup’s account will still be active for the threads still going and future threads with people he has close relationships and won’t deactivate. if you still want to follow him, feel free to do it (and even interact, i’m always open for new friends in the harry potter universe) but if you feel like unfollowing him, that’s okay as well. you can always catch me on twitter. 

[wonslytherin-blog]

cupsize

[ravup]

wonslytherin:

He isn’t keen on the potion, yet alone is keen on getting spiked tonight– he just wants Jongup to enjoy the ball and get home safe, even if he has to keep an eye on him in all different angles. “I’m eighteen, it still makes me a kid and you, a baby” he replies, hisses like a Slytherin that he is. For all the tales of the sorting hat to assign students in a different house from their ideal, it has to be Jaewon whom it’s  most sure of. 

“Not all Hufflepuff’s are baby– okay” he says, indirectly defending a friend from that house whom he won’t dare to mention. He hurries along, looking over the swirling liquid in the cauldron. He tries not to laugh at the other’s comment– Jongup can really be cute sometimes. He squints, hesitates for a while– but really, when will he ever not do something Jongup asks of him? 

“If I fucking become some horny dog after this…” he comments, but takes the vial anyway and drinks it– letting the taste of alcohol down through his throat. it tastes like alcohol, but it isn’t too soon for him to conclude that it won’t make him drunk. 

“It tastes– fine” he says, shrugs. “Not bad, little bro” he jokes, teases– he’s always good with the teasing. He blinks, shock like a parent. “You’re so gross” he comments before eyes trailing elsewhere. 

“Are you planning to kiss your date?” 

Now he really wishes he hated his brother. If he could call him brother, because to accept that would just make him accept the fact that they share something other than just the formalities of having their parents getting married. Jongup is stubborn and would hardly give in to that, even if he accepts the fact that Jaewon probably disliked the same things he did regarding their family.

Still…

“I’m more mature than you.”, he says, shrugging a shoulder and rolling his eyes, as he watches Jaewon speak of Hufflepuffs and that’s interesting because not long ago he had some interesting conversations to someone from that House. Were people hiding things from him? that’s funny… “Hmm…so how well do you know the Hufflepuffs? I thought your House despised them.”

That’s for sure a fact, since there’s still animosity between students from both Houses. Not that Jongup cares, because there’s animosity between people from the same House, which is stupid in his opinion. Actually, the whole rivalry is stupid, but it’s not something exclusive to Hogwarts. He remembers very well (and has scars to prove) how people in Durmstrang used to be.

“I hope you don’t attack my date, I do want to enjoy my night, horny dog.” He’s joking now, perhaps metaphorically throwing a bone to the elusive dog to see his reaction and he waits, a soft smile tugging on his lip as he takes a cup of his own potion, licking his lips as the pumpkin taste of it isn’t masked by the amount of alcohol.

That would be so good later at the ball.

“I’m not gross if I’m living my life the best way I can.” He rolls his eyes, staring at Jaewon and crossing his arms. “Do you even know who I’m taking to the ball?”

[ravup]

trouble in paradise ⚡ up/jeonghan

[ravup]

ravenhan:

the usual teasing in his tone - mockery turned playfulness once he learned how to be civil around his fellow ravenclaw - was nowhere to be found. his constantly shifting gaze gave away the anxiety he was desperately trying to hide, fingers unconsciously tight around the glass in his hand. “you know me,” he responded, eyes away from his conversation partner and onto the dance floor, eyeing the figures in the hopes of finding his date. the night just began, and he already wanted to stab himself. “i’m just full of positive energy. all the time.” the sarcasm there was evident, of course, as there wasn’t even a hint of a smile on the other boy’s face, his distinctly toothy grin hidden behind worry. “at least jihoon would know who to blame if his life goes to absolute shit.” the bitterness in his words alluded to the fact that jeonghan had no one else but himself to blame for the occurring chaos in his life. with a sigh, he put his glass down, ran a hand through his hair despite spending half an hour in front of the mirror to fix it. to hell with looking good at this point. “je suis désolé,” he added almost immediately, the apology foreign on his native tongue. he’d never apologized to jongup before, but jeonghan wasn’t keen on ruining someone else’s night either. “a lot of things… you know? just a mess. je deviens fou.”

“you’re so bright we don’t even need to cast lumus solem in case we’re attacked by devil’s snare”, he still teases, still uses refined irony when talking to jeonghan though he notices he’s not inclined in keeping their little war of nerves. It surprises Jongup, because normally he ravenclaw wouldn’t just spill the beans about things to him, he would rather do it with his other friends, from other houses, so Jongup figured something was really wrong. It entices his curiosity and he already has so many theories in mind, but he can’t just leave the one last punch behind, not when Jeonghan is talking about his date. “I’m sure he’s going to be okay. He’s smarter than I was before, in Durmstrang.” He lets out, his own little secret being there in the open and he sighs, trying to cover up for that mistake by just focusing on the male beside him, talking in french; such a seductive tone, in such stressful situation. “Care to explain? I mean, I could say you’re not bothered by exams, it’s something else. Is it…Yifan?”, the boy’s name is still some kind of taboo between them, but to hell with consequences, Jongup just wants to know.

[ravup]

drunken feet ⚡  up/baekhyun

[ravup]

ravbaek:

he’s been looking for jongup all night- after the yule king and queen announcement, the ballroom was strangely less crowded than before so he had only managed to find his ravenclaw friend among the sea of bodies then. he could ask chanyeol to help him look, but the tall boy decided to sit back instead of coming with him.

“duh! not intending to save your friend a dance?” he chirps brightly, adaptation to the jolly atmosphere of tonight’s celebration. he rolls his eyes and tugs the ravenclaw by the hem of his sleeve to drag him towards the dance floor.

heels turn to face jongup. a hand placed upon the latter’s shoulder as he says “he wouldn’t mind. he said it’s not like you’re going to steal me away or anything.” they both trust jongup too much. “although he said good luck dancing with me.” he’s not exactly the best dancer amongst the other male students.

“I’ve never been invited for a dance.” He started with a chuckle. “At least someone with something different in their minds other than dancing”, he completed with a wink, as he didn’t mind Baekhuyn pulling him to the dance floor. With the corner of his eyes he noticed Chaneyol watching them and smirked, more to himself, because he knew how his other Gryffindor friend was protective of his Ravenclaw boo, but that didn’t mean Jongup couldn’t tease the two of them a bit. After all, he mastered that. “Hmm, is he sure I won’t steal you from him? I mean…I’m all alone and you’re here, you know.” He got a little closer, hands placed on Baekhyun’s waist, pulling him closer as a song started to play. Of course he didn’t mean his words, but he pretended they did, a smile gracing his face as he guided his friend with him, taking his time to whisper in his ear. “Just let me guide you, we’ll be fine, I’m sure. By the way, how are things with the two of you?”

[ravup]

princess ⚡ up/discordia

[ravup]

slyxdiscordia:

She’s averted her eyes away from him the moment she had greeted him, eyes taking in the vast lake and the ripples the breeze makes as brush against the surface of the lake. Her toes curl against the grass, feeling the soft soil since they were quite close to bodies of water. She pulls her coat closer her person, yet it does little because she is still cold inside. She feels all too vulnerable to even be comfortable in her own skin, but she’s tired of pretending, even if it’s just for tonight.

“Company would be appreciated.” She mutters softly, glancing up at him and back to the lake, scooting just a bit closer to be able to dip her feet into the water, “Merlin knows I probably need it right now.” and she laughs. It was neither genuine or amused, but hollow. Veneris sits down at the edge, dangling her legs in the freezing cold water, “I suppose I need someone that isn’t Thierry, nor Branwen to keep me grounded.” she mutters the last to herself, “Usually I’d tell you to go back to your common room, don’t I?” 

She reaches and rubs the sleep off her eyes, the bags under her eyes a telltale sign that for the past few days she hadn’t been sleeping well, and as someone who has fast metabolism, one could easily tell that she also hadn’t been eating right if they knew her enough. Branwen had been concerned and kept nagging her, to the point where her annoyance actually resulted in snapping at him. She refused to talk to anyone after that.

Jongup understands when someone needs to be alone, but also understand when someone needs to be listened but struggles to let the words come out. That seemed to be the case with Veneris, someone he realized looked rather distressed the more he got in touch with her.

It’s not that they’re close friends, far from that, apparently the girl found every chance she had to ditch him, to say she didn’t need him around, a girl full of herself, a girl that earned the nickname princess because nothing seemed to touch her.

Apparently.

“Fuck the common room”, he shrugged his answer as he stood beside her, a smile plastered in his face as he looked at her again, trying to read some unknown information without trying to pry too much. As usual, it was hard, Veneris was like reading a book in an unknown or dead language, one of the books from the restricted section.

Good thing Jongup was never a good boy that followed rules.

“What happened to you? I’m pretty sure your common room is cozier than the lake. And well, I can say I’m better company than Bran and Han.”

[wordsnquotes]

I tell myself I am searching for something. But more and more, it feels like I am wandering, waiting for something to happen to me, something that will change everything, something that my whole life has been leading up to.

Khaled Hosseini, And the Mountains Echoed  (via wordsnquotes)

[ravseungjun-blog]

sanctuary

[ravup]

ravseungjun:

there was no argument to the direction of the north tower, and seungjun found himself heading there without much thought. his mind was elsewhere. it was on the hot throb of pain in his heart that he was squeezing down on in an attempt to stop the bleeding. that’s what he’d read once in a book. his life could be saved by pressing the right amount of pressure onto an open wound and if he was bleeding to death, it would have been easier if it was external instead of internal. but that might have explained the sensation of drowning that was rising–blood was crushing his lungs and his heart–when jongup’s hand had left his and the doors locking him in there. his eyes filled with an empty sort of look, like he’s waiting for the answers; lingering in a state of shock. long fingers buckled into fists as he shoves into his suits pockets to hide his nails digging in to the palms; a practice he’d had since he was nine. pretend he was stupid, bite down on his emotions – but he flinches when jongup asks him not to go. his chin tucking in, gaze averting elsewhere and shifting his weight as he began to grow too anxious to stand in once place. “the doors locked. the only way is..” seungjun glances over at the windows, thinking of the height and his bottom lip takes over his top one; a pout. there was little chance he was going near them. “just take your time,” he suggests, averting his brown hues once more and shrugging his shoulders. “it took you this long already. i can wait.”

Jongup holds no hopes anymore,no expectations to be forgiven or to be understood. From where and how he can see everything going, there will be no salvation for him and Seungjun, no matter what he says apparently. He realizes there’s a wall so tall between them and it was built in record time, that he’s not sure he’s able to either climb or break it. And it hurts, because he realizes he didn’t want to miss the moments he spent with the taller male, he didn’t want the new memories that were just imprinted in his skull to vanish and become just a bitter reminder of how fucked up his family made things for him. Thanks mom and dad, he thinks as he slowly looks up, trying to organize his thoughts because that’s probably going to be the last time he and Seungjun will share a place like that. His heart clenches at the thought and he sighs, pulling his wand from his jacket and transfiguring a couple of old cloths that were left there into blankets and pillows so they can sit, or be at least comfortable. He motions for Seungjun to sit down as he does the same, keeping a (unwanted) distance from him as he starts to talk, this time avoiding eye contact.  “They cast a memory charm on me. My mom and dad. To cover up their relationship…their fighting, the…abuse”, the last word comes painfully low, an ashamed mutter. Jongup looks away, at the window that’s their only source of light from the moon outside; it’s beautiful but incredibly sad at the same time. “I forgot so many parts of my life because of them. I forgot childhood memories and fights, they wanted to protect me. But they harmed me. It’s not easy to accept this, I know and it sounds like an excuse but it’s not.” the burden is still there and he wants to just walk away, to run and never look back anymore because he doesn’t want to see the pity in Seungjun’s eyes. “I’m sorry for causing you trouble.”

[itskoreandream]

[ravup]

stalker ⚡ up/jihoon

[ravup]

hoonpuff:

the state of bewilderment was dying down when jihoon had something to latch onto as a topic of conversation: dancing. he knew dancing, he liked it – it was easy to draw a smile on his lips despite the urgent wave of his hand in refusal of the shoes. “my shoes are fine though. i’ll just wear sneakers. they’ll be comfortable,” he was insistent, despite continuing to follow jongup in the direction of the shoe store. the change of topic relieved him–if only momentarily–because the next thing to cross his mind was jaewon; a boy whose thought made his heart race and his fingers tug at the hem of his sleeve. even if there was a sting of knowledge knowing that it was likely that the slytherin boy would turn up with a date who was more fitting than he was. his entirety jumping from his thoughts when an arm was on his shoulder and he was looking up at jongup. one second hopeful and the next realistic. “i..” his voice trailed as they entered the shoe store, and jihoon wondered if jongup knew the trick. if he knew how to sweep people off their feet and win them over – because all the hufflepuff had was anonymous love notes and longing gazes. “i don’t know. they don’t even know i exist,” he spoke with a crinkle forming in his nose and a shake of his head. the only time jaewon spoke to him was when they happened to cross paths alone. “he– she. she’s out of my league,” he stutters when he catches his slip up. “she probably has a date and she’s a slytherin and i’m a hufflepuff. she’s.. she’s a pureblood, smart, and handsome. i mean, like.. beautiful.” it was hard to focus on his words when the arm was on his shoulders and jaewon was on his mind. if he thought too long, jongup would see through him. “she… she could have anyone she wants. so why would she want me?”

“True, sneakers are comfortable, but not fancy. You can’t just wear those, honestly, trust me. I’m not some Slytherin that’s going to pull a prank on you.” He said, using some humor because Jihoon still seemed a bit uncomfortable with him and he was probably right – who wouldn’t get suspicious over someone from the same school offering things to them? Jongup might have lost his mind, but then the Hufflepuff seemed nice enough and he was feeling quite generous, so it’s just a good combination for the two of them. “I like dancing as well. Whenever I have the time and I’m off school, I like to go to some muggle clubs and just dance. It’s great. Do you go out a lot?” He was still trying to make a conversation with him over shoes, but suddenly something better started and he couldn’t help it. “Nonsense. You’re perfectly noticeable.” And Jongup wasn’t mocking when he said that, it was hard not to remember how Jihoon flew around, crossing the skies while riding a broom, knocking people off and being all alive and beautiful. He noted how he tried to cover up by using a girl as his example and it was just obvious why Jihoon thought things were harder – boys and how the society would judge them over their preferences. It sucked and Jongup again could relate to it. But they were two different people, not because of Jihoon’s explanations for their Houses or their blood, but simply because Jongup was someone who hardly accepted things thrown at him without a fight, while Jihoon, well, he looked almost angelic. Still, when he offered his advice, he did it slowly, carefully, not to scare him. “Like I said, it doesn’t matter if you invite them or not. A date to the ball is hardly something serious, I’m sure you’ll have a chance with them, just be yourself. You’re not pureblood, but you’re smart  and handsome. And honestly, who wouldn’t want to go with a Quidditch player?”, his logic seemed good enough now that they enter the store and were greeted by a salesman, that judging by the way he talked to Jongup, was already friends with him. “I would take you to the ball, if you say yes.”

[ravseungjun-blog]

sanctuary

[ravup]

ravseungjun:

there fingers curled on his jacket and insistence that there needs to be an explanation, and seungjun doesn’t know what to do. his mind repeats the same cycle of thoughts, that he was forgotten, that it hurt, that he didn’t want it to hurt, that it didn’t matter, that he wished it didn’t matter–it wasn’t supposed to matter to him–that it didn’t matter to jongup who forgot and it hurt all over again. the ravenclaw had been certain that he perfected the level of deepness in his friendships that allowed him to feel a part, to not be lonely, to sustain his emotional needs without putting himself in harms way. but here he was, smiling hollowly and shaking his head as he hears jongup stutter. not once since he’d known jongup had he heard the other male stutter; he was full of confidence and ease from the moment they’d met. seungjun’s hand curls over the back of jongups, fingers grazing over the skin as he listens to the explanation that doesn’t make much sense to him. a touch that slips away from him, his brown hues following jongup as he steps away from him and his chest constricts. his gaze drifts around the great hall, hesitating a second before he closes the space between them, hand slipping down to jongup’s and lacing their fingers as he begins to pull the other in the direction of the exit. he never liked his personal life on display, he didn’t like fighting in the halls with estelle and he didn’t like seeing jongup stutter in the great hall. “let’s go somewhere to talk,” seungjun suggests, because it doesn’t make sense to him. it doesn’t join together what jongup is saying and what it feels like it should mean. if he understood, maybe it wouldn’t hurt him. if he knew where the pain was coming from, he could find out how to stop it flooding through him.  

He briefly remembers muttering North Tower to Seungjun, somewhere abandoned in the castle, somewhere where people hardly went and a place where Jongup goes whenever things are almost unbearable. He wonders how he ends up like that, deaf to the sound of music and people chat, how the blood pumping in his ears are just enough to be used as guidance, along with Seungjun’s hand and he just follows the taller male, just accepts that for once he’s going to listen to him. in his head, he’s trying to come up with a better story, with the real story but it’s hard for him to talk about it, to just add salt to the open wound. But then they’re in the tower and the door is locked behind them, it’s clandestine all over again and now the memories are colorful – the two of them running around the halls of a mansion during a fancy dinner, them drinking wine and then kissing, Seungjun’s lips on his skin and his own voice asking him to see him again the next day. It’s all so painfully vibrant that Jongup needs to let go of Seungjun’s hand and grip his own head, both hands now covering his ears, eyes shut as he tries to look presentable for the other male. “Just…just give me a second. I’ll be fine…” he starts with a low voice, a mere whisper, his throat is dry and then he listens to footsteps around him and suddenly the fear of having Seungjun leaving the place and him alone comes back, full force. “Just…don’t go.”

[ravup]

feeding ⚡ up/seungjun

[ravup]

ravseungjun:

[...]

there his fingers drift again, slipping up the line of jongup’s forearm and he tries not think too hardly on why he’s attached to the others body; it was mere attraction. he’d been thoroughly convinced of that since jongup arrived in hogwarts. memories of skin against skin and lips against lips, and nothing to do with the way the other would laugh or pout at him, and nothing to do with letters unsent in the fall afterwards.

“i will let you help me find a way to work it out,” seungjun suggests, tilting his head and jutting out his bottom lip as he motions with his finger. “you can take me for a run around the castle, help me break up a sweat and get worn out. it’ll be good for you. it would be sad to see you get out of shape or unhealthy because you at too much food.”

If all things, Jongup likes the little games they play together, it’s childish and yet forbidden when then use those words, light teasing and touching when no one is paying attention to them and then more smiling and silly words that would always leave Jongup wondering if there was something else in there.

“Eat me? Is that some kind of promise?” he teases back, but not looking at Seungjun as he speaks, actually he’s more focused on the plate in front of him for a moment, as he picks more chicken, utensils are ignored as he feeds the taller male in front of him, a smile planted on his lips, as he watches him.

It’s interesting, really, how it seems he’s swimming in a pool and trying to reach out for the edge or a deeper area of it. The more he swims, the more he gets closer to something unknown, there’s danger but also attraction and Jongup is never one to run away from both. He does what he has to do with a smile, his free hand now taking its time to find Seungjun’s and it’s almost familiar when they lace their fingers and remain on that position, Jongup listening to what he’s saying, making him chuckle at that idea.

“Well, even if the thought of running around sounds promising and interesting,” he starts, taking just a moment in between the feeding to drink some of his pumpkin juice, eyes locked on Seungjun’s form, how he seems almost relaxed to be there, as if they did that before. “I can think of more interesting ways to stay in shape.”

[ravup]

rendez vous ⚡ seungjun

[ravup]

ravseungjun:

[...]

one hand folding it, tucking the paper into the back pocket of his skinny jeans. black boots cuffed above his ankles, green hoodie under a thicker jacket and shirt underneath sticking out messily. like he’d dressed with enough care but not more than a glance in the mirror.

seungjun raised his hand, knocking lightly high on the door, and glancing around over his shoulder. black strands of hair slipping down around his eyes as he rubs at his tired eyes, leaning up against the inside of the door frame as he waited.  if this was the wrong door again, he would need a nap before going on another search for jongup.

Even though no one knew about the existence of that apartment, but Seungjun and himself, Jongup couldn’t help but tense as soon as the knocking sound came, making him clench his fists and bite his lower lip, the urge to grab his wand before he could open the door, the thought of someone intercepting his note and finding him there making his head hurt until he heard the knocking again.

Quit being stupid, Moon Jongup.

With that thought in mind, another one started to fill him, the anxiousness to see Seungjun once more, the relief of not being alone there during the Holidays after ditching the family and ignoring even the only one that mattered, Jaewon, that stayed in Hogwarts.

Barefoot, Jongup walked to the door, taking one last look down, at himself, checking his own casual clothes – jeans, ripped at the thighs and a comfortable white sweater, he didn’t feel like he needed to dress up to stay at home, even if he was expecting someone else to be there at him.

When he door was finally opened, the breath he didn’t even know he was holding was finally out and he smiled, openly now, at Seungjun that still held the same cool expression in his face, one Jongup would never get tired of. “I thought you were ignoring me, you know, payback.” There wasn’t bitterness in his voice, just plain tease, as he raised a hand to touch the front of the taller man’s jacket. “Happy Holidays.”

[ravup]

rendez vous ⚡ seungjun

a winter’s tale written for @ravseungjun

Jongup was pacing around the living room of his flat, looking outside the window and trying to find some hint that Seungjun actually got his owl. Four days had passed and there was still no answer from him ever since they saw each other for the last time. 

They haven’t really talked about the taller male visiting him at his hideout, but Jongup knew it would be nice to have him around the holiday season, and outside Hogwarts, but admittedly, he didn’t expect things to turn out that way – a family feud and him bolting out of the house, a backpack with a few of his most prized possessions and his owl.

A note had been sent to the other male, to an address he knew now because Seungjun had informed him and even though Jongup kinda sounded desperate enough to confide him that secret (the apartment’s location), he was just hoping he would see a familiar face he missed dearly. 

But now, four days have passed and still, there was no answer from Seungjun. He felt stupid, he probably had something else to do, other people to visit or places to travel. Or maybe he just got lost in the muggle neighborhood and couldn’t find the address. 

Jongup was restless with all his theories. And that was when he heard a knock on his door.