grace taking you on a planetarium date while you’re both in grad school, not knowing that years from then you’d be looking at the real-deal through circular glass windows on the hail mary.
Ya’ll I cannot hold myself back any longer. Trust me when I say I tried.
RATTLING THE BARS OF MY ENCLOSURE
Okay- so hear me out! I actually don’t like shipping reader/myself with Simon/Ryland or either of them with Reader/myself individually, but I really like the idea of them being very parental towards a younger reader? Like Reader is between 20-24 and ended up in the same solar system as Ryland/Rocky/Simon through space shenanigans.
So lemme cook please PLEASE LET ME COOK
TW: Mentions of death, isolation, vague insinuations regarding suicide.
MDNI
—
- You were supposed to make it home, you were not a patron saint of one way trips.
- Not making it home was a technical error, a mistake made by someone on your ship or someone down on Asora, your home planet.
- Your ship was knocked off course and something malfunctioned, suddenly floating off into space with no communications getting through to anyone on the ground.
- Your crew mates died one by one until you were the only one left, getting sick or..or dying under other conditions.
- You relinquished them to the stars and went on your way, mourning the losses and grappling with the fear that you’d end up another wayward soul in the vastness of space.
- But then there was a connection, your communicator picking up the voice of a man, asking if anyone was aboard.
- You responded immediately, could cry with tears of relief. You were saved! You were saved!!
- You docked your small ship on their’s, using your attach system to airlock the crafts together and making sure it was secure.
- After making sure you could breathe oxygen and wouldn’t die the minute you entered the atmosphere of the Hail Mary (as you’d learned), you entered their airlock and subsequently, their ship.
- Ryland Grace was starting to become accustomed to finding people out in space. Rocky and Simon were both now aboard the Hail Mary and now another craft had been picked up by Mary’s systems.
- He heard your voice the second he asked if anyone was aboard and introduced himself, surprised at the young voice that answered.
- He was even more surprised when you walked into the Hail Mary, removing your gear and revealing someone no older than 25 standing before himself, Rocky, and Simon.
- Immediate teacher mode. Ryland is in his early forties, Simon is in his late thirties, and Rocky is over a hundred years old. You’re now officially the youngest person aboard.
- He gets you checked out by Armando as you tell your story, getting choked up as you explained how you were actually supposed to make it home.
- Simon inquired why someone so young would be in space anyways and Ryland agreed how strange that was.
- The two were horrified when they discovered that your planet, while meaning for you all to make it back, sent you up in a shabby craft that made ships on Eden look like five star hotels.
- And how little volunteers there were to actually go up and the bribery they used on younger people to send them to essentially their deaths.
- Ryland was especially heartbroken, you weren’t even 25 yet! Your brain wasn’t fully developed, you weren’t even out of college, you had barely lived.
- Rocky is wary of you at first, but your friendly and relieved demeanor gets him to warm up to you quickly.
- You are like- technically a baby to him. While yes he understands that by human standards you’re an adult, twenty years is still toddler age for Eridians.
- He treats you like the adult you are, but can’t help but be especially worrisome over your wellbeing.
- Always watches you sleep, makes sure you’re warm and fed, demands you see Armando if you so much as sneeze.
- Simon is maybe the one who takes the longest to warm up to you. He didn’t know what to talk to you about or what to say.
- Simon is actually the one you seek the most comfort from. He’s a very grounded person and the most logical option.
- He soothes you through nightmares of dead crew-mates and sits with you in the “don’t go crazy” room, showing you beautiful photos of trees and landscapes.
- He lets you help with the upkeep of the ship, teaching you basic safety rules and general upkeep. It scares him to his core that you didn’t know any of it, how had you survived as long as you had?
- You end up sticking with them, afraid to go back into space by yourself, and they’re happy to have you!
- After gathering everything from your ship, they send that tin bucket away into the vastness where it belongs (especially after Simon and Rocky extract a bunch of useable parts and the radio)
- You are now crew-mate number four on the Hail Mary!
- Your ship had a lot of supplies despite how badly crafted it was, so there’s more clothing, food, blankets, and hygiene supplies for you all to share.
- The whole ordeal finally being over sends you into what is basically an exhaustion coma.
- They set you up in the “don’t go crazy” room with soft music playing and a nest of soft things for you to lay on as you sleep.
- Rocky keeps watch the entire time and Simon came in periodically to make sure you were still breathing and to tuck the blankets back in so you’d be warm and comfortable.
- You’re always touching one of them, or at least are always near them.
- You hadn’t had human contact in almost a year, you’re going to hold Ryland’s hand dammit! He’s got two! If Simon can do ship repairs with one hand then Ryland can do reports with one just fine.
- Simon is very warm, so you cling to him a lot since the Hail Mary can get pretty cold.
- Ryland loves teaching you things. While it’s not the same as teaching a middle school class, he still really enjoys when something in your head clicks or you ask questions.
- Rocky and you work on his translator, spending hours adding new words and honestly yapping about anything and everything.
- Rocky will take every and any opportunity to ramble about his lovely mate, Adrian.
- He thinks you and Adrian will get along well and is so excited for you to meet them when they get to Erid.
- Once you all get to Erid and are thoroughly checked out by Armando and the Eridian medical team, the bio dome is built, and you live with Simon and Grace.
- I love every version of Bloodymary. This version is where Grace and Simon are both on the asexual spectrum and while yes they are dating, they have no interest in sex and mainly enjoy the fluffy physical affection and being around one another.
- You’re kind of their kid? They act like they’re your parents!
- Adrian ends up adoring you and it becomes a trend for them to steal you away to hang out in the lab.
- Adrian is BIG and loves carrying you around on their back.
- He/him Rocky and they/them Adrian my beloveds.
- All of Adrian’s team that works on the bio dome are so confused by you. What do you mean this pebble was in charge of a ship by themselves for over a year?? Who would commit such an act of negligence??
- Prepare to get pampered lmao.
- Anyways yeah fluff found family space people wow!
when grace sends the beetles back to earth you can see him putting rocky's xenonite figurine of him into one of them. AND HE GIVES IT A LITTLE FIST FINGER BUMP😭
via jorolle: #i love him so much#forever the whimsical loving middle school teacher#and he survives to the end not just because he is <brave>#but first and foremost#because he is <kind>#ohhh this movie#project hail mary 2026#project hail mary#phm#ryland grace#ryan gosling#meta#analysis#my edit#phmedit#projecthailmaryedit#beetles#rocky#rocky the eridian#rocky phm#eva stratt#movies#cinema#andy weir
summary: Getting ready to approach Tau ceti-E. You and Ryland are forced to perform an EVA to take care of damages on the outer coat of Hail Mary. Nothing goes according to plan...
pairing: ryland grace x reader
tags: kinda established relationship, angst, hurt, mention of blood, fear of death mentionned, very stressed characters, not a fun time, a slight bit of comfort, ryland loves you more than himself
author note: once again.. I am back with a very heavy fic. I am sorry. I just love putting the reader and Ryland in sad and stressful situations. Next fics are gonna be softer I promise. And Imma write smut too to make up for hurting reader and Ryland. This story kinda takes place before The quiet between stars.
The stars looked different outside the ship during an EVA.
Through the reinforced observation windows of the Hail Mary, space always felt distant somehow. Framed and contained. Like watching the ocean safely from shore. Out here, there was nothing separating you from it. There were no walls, no humming ventilation, and no artificial gravity grounding you on the metal floors.
There was only silence. And it was an endless and absolute one. You always hoped somehow that space looked more like the ones in movies. A place not so different from the sky, where you could hear the engines and natural noises of the dark.
But it was not the case.
Your boots locked carefully against the outer hull while Tau Ceti burned in the distance beyond your shoulder, casting pale gold across the curved metal surface of the Hail Mary. Its light reflected softly against your helmet visor every time you moved.
And sometimes you dared to look beneath your feet, where infinity stretched itself. It was so dark and felt so cold that for one terrible second, the scale of it all nearly made your chest tighten. A chill ran up your spine as you raised your head breaking eye contact with the void that was pulling you in. You were impossibly small out here. It was freaking you out.
“Heart rate elevated.”
Rocky’s translator crackled calmly through your helmet comms. You exhaled sharply through your nose. Closing your eyes for a quick second as your hands clenched around the metal bars of the outer hull. You had to calm down. It was not your first EVA and wouldn'tbe your last.
Sure you were not trained as well as your other two dead companions. But they were not here anymore, and Ryland couldn't be the one risking his life alone. You had to be there.
“Thank you, Rocky.”
“Friend welcome.”
A snort escaped Ryland somewhere behind you over the comm channel.
“Told you he’s getting sassier.”
You turned your head slightly, eyes opening in search of your… companion. Ryland floated several meters away near the damaged communications array, one magnetic boot anchored against the hull while he worked. Safety tethers drifted slowly around him in lazy red arcs. His gloved hands moved carefully across the exposed panel while the gold light of Tau Ceti reflected against his visor.
Even in a spacesuit, Ryland somehow still looked distinctly Ryland. Slightly awkward. Slightly messy. Like a scientist accidentally thrown into the role of astronaut, which, technically, was exactly what happened.
A faint smile tugged at your lips.
“What exactly hit this thing again?” you asked while adjusting your grip against the outer rail, slowly climbing farther toward the damaged helioscope that refused to retract properly.
“Micro-meteor debris,” Ryland answered. “Probably. Unless space itself personally hates me now.” A soft chuckle crackled through the comms.
“Rocky believes both possibilities statistically valid.”
Ryland groaned dramatically. “Pal, you’re getting way too good at those jokes.”
“Rocky no joke.”
The familiar banter settled warmly beneath the quiet static inside your helmet. You even found yourself laughing softly as you imagined the expression Ryland was probably making right now behind his visor.
It almost made space feel less enormous.
Almost.
Your eyes drifted instinctively toward Earth’s distant direction somewhere beyond the endless dark. Ryland had shown it to you before, during what he stubbornly insisted was “not-a-date date night.”
The memory surfaced softly in your chest.
Both of you had been sitting near the largest observation window aboard the Hail Mary, wrapped together beneath Grace’s favorite blanket, the ridiculously soft one he claimed belonged permanently to him now. The ship lights had been dimmed low while stars stretched endlessly outside the glass.
Ryland had pointed toward an apparently empty spot in space.
“This is where Earth is,” he murmured quietly. “Eleven-point-nine light-years from here.”
You remembered him turning toward you with a faint smile, eyes shining with wonder. His love for space still intact even lost in the empty.
“Outstanding, right?”
It was not visible from here. It was too far. And even if the idea of surviving that trip so far away from home was… Outstanding as he said. The thought left an ache in your chest you had grown unfortunately familiar with lately.
You had begun to question what was Home to you. What truly held that word in your heart now. The Hail Mary had become strangely alive over the months since waking from the coma. Its mechanical noises. Its narrow hallways. Rocky’s rhythmic clicking through ventilation shafts. Ryland absentmindedly humming while working late in the lab.
A tiny fragile world drifting between stars. And somehow against every logical instinct, against every hypothetical turn you had imagined back on Earth. You had started fearing losing all of that. Losing Mary. Losing Rocky.
Losing him. Returning to Earth didn't matter as much anymore.
“Sunshine?” Ryland’s voice cut gently through your thoughts.
You blinked. “Hm?”
“You drifted off for a second.”
Of course he noticed. Sometimes you really thought he was a mind reader and decided not to let you know about it. You adjusted the equipment case floating beside you instead of answering immediately.
“Just tired.”
Static crackled softly through the comms. Then came his answer “Liar.”
Warmth flickered traitorously through your chest. You looked toward him again. Ryland had stopped working now. One hand still resting against the damaged panel while his visor angled toward you fully. He was watching you.
Even through layers of reinforced glass and suit, you could somehow feel the weight of his attention. And there it was again. That strange softness he’d been looking at you with lately. Like his memories worked harder and harder each day to piece back what you had before all of this. You still refused to talk about it with him... And sometimes it terrified you how close he seemed to getting there.
Another laugh escaped you. You could easily imagine Rocky straightening up in pride on his two front legs at his own words. And for one fleeting beautiful moment, everything felt normal. Three individuals floating at the edge of another solar system. Not humanity’s last desperate hope. Not survivors. Just people. And an alien.
Then the warning alarm activated.
It was sharp and violent. Immediately causing you to flinch as your smile vanished instantly.
“Wow wow,” Ryland panicked, “Rock ?”
The Hail Mary shuddered beneath your boots. A deep metallic vibration rolled through the hull hard enough to rattle your teeth inside the helmet.
“What was that?”
Rocky answered immediately this time.
“Debris field proximity alert. Mary says friends come back.”
Another impact slammed somewhere across the ship. Harder. You didn’t see it, didn’t hear it. You felt it, the strong vibration rattled the outside of the ship. Your body jerked instinctively against the tether line.
“What the-?!”
“Additional micro-meteor fragments.”
Ryland cursed sharply beneath his breath. “And it had to be right now.”
Warning lights suddenly flashed red along the outer hull. Your heartbeat accelerated instantly. Mary was signaling you both to come back inside, as if it was urging you to protect yourselves. The stars around you no longer looked peaceful. Now they looked dangerous.
You started to move, never letting go of the iron bar between your hands. "You would be back after the small asteroïd rain." you promised yourself. Right now you felt too open, too exposed to danger. You wouldn’t be in the right mindset to do any good work on the ship.
Another impact struck nearby. Metal rang violently through the hull. And then…your tether jerked. Hard. First towards the ship as the Hail Mary repositioned itself to avoid more damage done to the same part of its outer coat. Your breath caught sharply as the front of your helmet smacked against the metal. Your forehead hitting against the inner part of your suit. It hurt. Then the tether snapped violently sideways. And before your brain fully processed what happened, the recoil yanked your body away from the hull this time.
“Fuck—”
Your magnetic boot lost contact instantly due to the force. Suddenly there was nothing beneath you. Nothing at all. The Hail Mary dropped away beneath your body as momentum pulled you backward into open space. Your stomach lurched violently. Throat tightening up at the sickening sight.
“Sunshine!”
Ryland’s voice cracked through the comms with real panic. The static was louder over his voice, you were getting too far away. The tether line floated slowly beside you. Broken. Your pulse stopped.
No.
No no no–
The stars spun endlessly around you as your body drifted farther from the ship. Too fast. Your hands clawed instinctively toward empty space while terror exploded violently through your chest. The Hail Mary already looked farther away. Impossible. How was it already so far away ?! Your breathing became sharp and uneven instantly.
The suit alarm activated.
WARNING: ELEVATED RESPIRATION DETECTED.
“Look at me!”
Ryland’s voice again.
You turned your head frantically, searching for him. Where was he ?! Everything was spinning so fast. You could barely see, your vision already clouding due to the spinning. You were trying so hard to stabilize yourself. Clenching all your muscles as if it would stop you from drifting and spinning away.
And then you saw his shape. The red astronaut, Ryland, was pushing off the hull. Untethered.
Your eyes widened in horror. “Ryland NO—”
Too late.
His body launched after you into open space.
The force of the push sent him gliding fast through the darkness between you and the ship, propelled only by the small maneuvering bursts from his suit thrusters. The Hail Mary shrank behind him now, all silver metal and blinking emergency lights against infinity.
Your pulse quickened violently. He untethered himself. Oh God.
“Ryland Grace, what are you doing?! Are you insane ?! ” you gasped.
“What does it look like I’m doing?!”
His voice cracked slightly through the comms. It was fear. Real fear. You had heard Ryland stressed before. Panicked during calculations. Frustrated. Exhausted. But this…this sounded primal somehow. Like instinct overriding thought.
The stars rotated slowly around you both while Adrian glowed faintly far below like a burning emerald wrapped in orange storms.
You kept drifting.The broken tether floated uselessly nearby, twisting silently through space.
“Rocky,” Ryland barked breathlessly, “ask Mary to calculate the interception trajectory.”
“Rocky already calculating.”
You watched Ryland propel himself toward you again. One burst. Then another. It was too hard, too fast.
“Careful!” you shouted instinctively.
“I AM being careful!” That was a blatant lie.
Even through the panic, you knew it immediately. Ryland was terrible at self-preservation on a good day. And right now he looked one bad movement away from throwing himself into vacuum barehanded if it meant reaching you faster.
The realization made you pinch your lips a bit too tight.
Your hands shook as you tried activating your own maneuvering controls. Your fingers gripping at the panel of your suit, pushing the red button Ryland was pushing too. Nothing happened.
Your stomach dropped.
“Guys.”
“What?”
“What happening question.”
“My thrusters aren’t responding.”
Silence. Just for half a second. But long enough.
Long enough for you to hear the sharp inhale over the comms before he controlled it again.
“Okay,” Ryland said quickly. “Okay. That’s fine.”
Another lie. Your spinning slightly slowed down now. Slow disorienting rotations that made the stars blur together with the distant glow of Tau Ceti. The Hail Mary looked smaller every second.
Your breathing accelerated again.
WARNING: OXYGEN CONSUMPTION ELEVATED.
“Sunshine, listen to me.” Ryland’s voice cut through the panic sharply this time. He sounded focused, yet somehow gentle. He was trying to ground you. Like you did so many times for him before. “Look at me, okay?”
You forced yourself to focus on his visor instead of the endless black around you. He was closer now. Close enough to see the frantic movement of his breathing fogging faintly against the glass.
“You’re okay,” he said carefully.
Your throat tightened painfully. You knew he was lying for your sake. Because both of you understood exactly what drifting untethered in space meant.
“Rocky,” Ryland said without looking away from you, “distance?”
“Current separation: 11.3 meters.”
Too far. Way too far. Ryland adjusted his trajectory again. A burst from his right thruster pushed him closer. Then another. You saw it happen before he did.
“Ryland wait-”
Too much force. His body spun abruptly sideways.
“Fudge !”
The polite curse exploded through the comms as Ryland struggled to stabilize himself mid-flight. One arm reached instinctively outward while his body rotated once through open space before the suit thrusters corrected the motion.
But the correction cost momentum. Your stomach twisted. He was losing speed.
“Rocky,” you whispered weakly.
“Rocky aware.”
For the first time since meeting him, Rocky sounded afraid too. The clicking vibrations beneath his translator came faster now. Sharper. He was thinking.
“Grace oxygen reserves sufficient for one retrieval attempt only.”
Your heart physically hurt. Ryland ignored Rocky’s words entirely. His eyes never left you.
“Hey,” he said softly. The gentleness nearly broke you apart. “You still with me?”
You nodded quickly despite the tears beginning to blur your vision. Was he not scared ? No, Ryland could only be terrified right now. You knew it. He was just being brave for your sake. This wasn’t supposed to happen. It was not your first time outside anymore ! You weren’t supposed to die out here. Not like this. Not so far from home. Your gaze drifted instinctively toward the ship again.
Your chest tightened so painfully it became difficult to breathe. You tried to close your eyes and remember the breathing exercises you gave your patients back on Earth. 1... Deep breath. 2... Deep breath. 3... They usually worked. But not in the middle of fucking space ! Not on the verge of dying !
“Sunshine.”
Ryland’s voice again. It felt closer. Less static clouded his voice, as if the radio had less troubles communicating now. You blinked hard, and opened your eyes once more.
He was reaching towards you. Only a few meters away. His gloved hand stretched desperately through the darkness between you both.
“Come on.”
Another controlled burst from his thrusters.
Closer. Your own hand reached instinctively toward his. Almost there. Almost- Another impact hit the Hail Mary. The vibration rolled visibly through the hull. Your eyes widened. A second debris fragment. Ryland turned around to look where your eyes focused, towards the cause of that shock on your face. That tiny distraction was enough. His trajectory shifted slightly sideways.
And suddenly- he missed you. Barely. His fingertips brushed the edge of your glove before momentum carried him past.
“No!” The sound tore itself from Ryland’s throat.
Your bodies drifted apart again immediately. The sight of him reaching desperately back toward you while space silently widened between you nearly tore something inside your chest.
“Buddy !” Ryland shouted.
“Rocky recalculating.”
Your vision blurred harder now. Not from tears. Not from the spinning. From panic. Your oxygen consumption warning flashed again. You were breathing too fast. You couldn’t stop. The stars spun slowly around you while Ryland fought to turn himself back toward your direction.
Suddenly, you felt something watery slide down your face. Thicker than sweat. It was blood dripping down your brow. Ok. Ok.. You had a cut. You frowned, the pain came from your left eyebrow. It was gonna bleed a lot. You already knew it.
And then…Your helmet cracked. The sound was tiny. Almost insignificant. A soft sharp tick near the side of your visor. But every molecule in your body froze instantly. No way. A thin fracture spread slowly across the lower corner of the glass. Tiny.
But there. Your pulse stopped. The glass must have been weakened by the impact of your collision with the Hail Mary earlier. That was the only explanation. And soon “Ryland…”
He looked up immediately, searching for the danger that he felt in your voice. His eyes squinted searching for the problem. Then he saw it.
You watched the blood drain from his face in real time.
“No.”
The word came out broken. Absolutely broken. The crack spread another centimeter.
WARNING: SUIT INTEGRITY COMPROMISED.
Suddenly Ryland moved differently. No hesitation anymore. No caution. Just desperation. He fired the thruster burst at once.
Ryland ignored him completely. The force launched him toward you fast enough to make your stomach lurch. Too fast. Dangerously fast. But he didn’t care anymore. You saw it clearly now. Nothing mattered to him except reaching you. The realization hurt worse than fear itself.
“RY—”
He collided with you hard enough to force the air from your lungs. His arms wrapped around you instantly. One hand gripping the back of your suit. The other locking desperately around your waist. The momentum sent both your bodies spinning violently through open space.
But this time, you weren’t alone anymore.
Ryland’s breathing sounded ragged through the comms. “Got you.”
The words came out shaking. Relieved. Like he still couldn’t quite believe it himself. Eyes wide opened at his own actions.
You just need to find someone to be brave for.
Your hands clutched tightly against his suit instinctively. As did his. The crack in your visor creaked softly again. And it was as if Ryland heard it. He looked at you, his face visibly pained by the stress of this situation, by the sheer panic of seeing you in so much danger.
And suddenly his breathing became even more uneven.
“Rocky please,” Ryland whispered hoarsely, “get us home.”
The stars spun slowly around you both.
Your bodies danced together through open space while Ryland held onto you with desperate force, one arm locked tightly around your waist as though he believed letting go for even a second would send you disappearing back into the dark. Maybe it would. And this time he wouldn’t be able to reach you.
The fracture in your visor creaked softly. Tiny. Fragile. But loud enough to make fear tighten violently inside your chest every time you hear it. You closed your eyes once more. Grabbing onto Ryland a bit more than before. Praying for any gods out there to let you stay with them a bit longer.
WARNING: SUIT INTEGRITY COMPROMISED.
The alert pulsed steadily inside your helmet. Ryland heard it too in his. You could tell from the way his breathing kept hitching unevenly through the comms.
“Rocky,” he repeated sharper this time, “trajectory.”
“Rocky transmitting return path now.”
Coordinates flashed across Ryland’s visor. His eyes scanned the numbers and instructions that you couldn’t decipher from the other side. Behind him the Hail Mary floated painfully far away against the black. Not impossibly far. But far enough. Far enough that every remaining burst of fuel mattered. Your fingers tightened unconsciously against the front of Ryland’s suit.
“Your thrusters…” you whispered.
He didn’t answer immediately. Which answered enough. Your stomach twisted.
“Ryland.”
“We’re fine.”
A lie. Again. You almost laughed at how predictable he was.
Rocky’s voice crackled softly through the comms.
“Grace remaining maneuvering fuel at 19%.”
Silence. Then: “Oh good.”
The attempt at humor sounded weak. Strained.
Ryland adjusted his hold around you carefully, trying not to worsen the crack spreading slowly across your visor. Every movement had become impossibly gentle now. Careful in a way that made your chest ache. His hands were shaking. Actually shaking.
The stars reflected across his visor while he stared at the fracture near your face like it physically hurt him to look at it.
“You’re okay,” he said quietly.
The words sounded more like something he was trying desperately to convince himself of. Another tiny creak echoed through the intercom. Ryland closed his eyes briefly.
“What sound ?” Rocky's voice echoed in worry, not aware of this dire situation.
“Okay,” he breathed. “Okay. We’re moving.”
“Grace. Grace. Why not answering question. Friends okay question.”
“We are coming back Rocky. Ask Mary to be ready for arrival.”
A controlled burst from his thrusters pushed you both gently toward the Hail Mary. The motion immediately started another slow spin. Your stomach twisted as space rotated endlessly around you again.
Black. Stars. Silver hull. Tau Ceti burning gold in the distance. Over and over.
Ryland tightened his hold instinctively. “I know,” he murmured quickly. “I’ve got you.”
You weren’t sure whether he was speaking to you or himself anymore. The Hail Mary looked agonizingly small against infinity. You had never hated space more. Silence stretched between bursts. Only breathing. Static. The occasional anxious clicking beneath Rocky’s translator.
And beneath all of it fear.
Raw and alive between both of you now. Ryland kept glancing toward the crack every few seconds despite trying not to. Each time his expression worsened slightly. The fracture had spread farther. Not catastrophic yet. But enough.
Enough that you could hear faint pressure strain whispering through the helmet.
“Don’t look at it,” you whispered softly.
His eyes snapped immediately back toward yours. For one awful second, you saw it fully. How terrified he really was. Not scientist fear. Not mission fear. Personal fear. The kind that reached somewhere deep and primal.
“You scared the hell out of me,” he admitted quietly.
Your throat tightened painfully. “I’m sorry.”
“No.” His grip around you tightened instantly. “No, don’t apologize.” The stars reflected sharply across his visor. “You don’t get to apologize for almost dying.”
A weak breath escaped you that might have been a laugh. “Pretty sure I can apologize for whatever I want.”
“That’s not how this works.”
“Since when?”
“Since I watched you drift into open space!”
The words cracked apart louder than intended. Silence followed instantly afterward. Ryland froze slightly like he regretted raising his voice. But his breathing remained uneven. You swallowed hard. Because hearing him say it aloud made the reality settle differently inside your chest. You nodded.
He thought he lost you.
The realization left something aching and warm and devastating beneath your ribs. Rocky interrupted softly through the comms.
“Friends approaching hull proximity.”
The Hail Mary finally loomed larger ahead now. Relief hit so hard you almost passed out. Exterior lights glowed softly along the curved silver hull while emergency beacons flashed near the airlock entrance. Wide open.
Home.
You had never thought of the ship that way before. But now, seeing it waiting there against endless darkness, it felt like survival itself.
Ryland adjusted your trajectory carefully with another small thruster burst. Too small. Your momentum slowed too much. The airlock suddenly looked farther away again.
Ryland cursed quietly beneath his breath.
“Fuel critical,” Rocky warned immediately.
Your pulse jumped. Ryland looked toward the airlock. Then toward the fuel display. Then finally back toward you.
And suddenly you knew exactly what he was thinking.
“No.”
His eyes widened slightly.
“What?”
“You are NOT throwing yourself to push me the rest of the way.”
“Sunshine- ”
“No !”
Panic sharpened your voice instantly. Because of course he would think that. Of course Ryland Grace would immediately decide sacrificing his own return trajectory was acceptable if it guaranteed yours. His silence confirmed everything.
Anger flared hot through your chest despite the fear. “You are unbelievably predictable !”
“I can make the distance.”
“With less than nineteen percent fuel?!”
“I’ve done worse.”
“You literally almost crashed into me five minutes ago!”
“That was an emotionally complicated moment!”
You stared at him in disbelief. Then somehow… despite the terror, despite the crack in your visor, despite the endless vacuum surrounding you both, a laugh burst unexpectedly from your throat. Small and breathless. You should probably get yourself checked for any concussion when you come back inside the ship. But the fear never left you one instant. It's just that situation was so… So unbelievable. Your brain couldn’t help but laugh.
Ryland blinked. Then he laughed too. Weak and exhausted and relieved all at once.
Rocky’s translator crackled.
“Humans laughing during near-death experience confusing.”
“You’ll get used to it,” Ryland muttered.
“Negative. Rocky very concerned.”
The airlock drifted closer now. Close enough to see Rocky waiting inside through the inner hatch window. The ball silhouette filled nearly the entire window, claws tapping rapidly against the floor in obvious agitation.
The sight hit unexpectedly hard.
Rocky had been scared too.
Ryland made one final controlled burst. The remaining fuel warning flashed immediately afterward.
CRITICAL.
But it was enough. Your boots collided gently against the outer hull beside the airlock. Ryland caught the nearest rail instantly before momentum could pull you away again. The second contact stabilized, he physically sagged with relief.
“Oh thank God.”
But your chest suddenly tightened violently. The breath you tried taking never fully came. Your heartbeat spiked instantly. The adrenaline of the moment finally crashing down at the sight of definitive safety again.
Your lungs worked too fast again. The breaths you were taking were too shallow.
WARNING: OXYGEN CONSUMPTION ELEVATED.
The alert flashed red across your visor. Ryland noticed immediately as the red light flashed across the glass of his suit too.
“Hey.” His voice softened instantly through the comms. “Slow your breathing for me.”
You tried. God, you tried.
But every time you looked past him toward the endless black surrounding the ship, panic clawed tighter around your ribs again. Too much space. Too much silence. Too easy to disappear forever out here.
Your fingers trembled harder against his suit. “I can’t-”
“Yes you can.” His voice remained calm. Gentle. Even while you could hear his own breathing shaking beneath every word. “Look at me, sunshine. Don’t look anywhere else.”
You forced your eyes toward his visor again. Toward the familiar shape of him floating against the stars. Messy curls visible through the glass. Glasses slightly crooked beneath the helmet straps. Fear written openly across his face despite how hard he tried hiding it.
“You’re okay,” he whispered again.
Another lie. But a beautiful one. The outer hatch opened immediately. Artificial gravity began pulling weakly inside the chamber. Ryland practically dragged you through the doorway. The second the hatch sealed behind you, the atmosphere hissed violently back into the room. But your body still couldn’t catch up.
The helmet suddenly felt too tight. Too small. Your pulse thundered painfully in your ears. Your hands went up your helmet, letting go of him. Blood dripped over your closed left eyelid. You grabbed and pulled, trying to get rid of it.
“Sunshine.”
Ryland’s hands flew desperately toward your helmet seals. His fingers shook so badly he missed the latch twice.
“Come on-”
You barely saw Rocky hovering anxiously nearby, claws tapping rapidly against the xenonite ball. Then the helmet finally released. Cool recycled air flooded against your face. But your lungs still refused to cooperate. You gasped sharply. As if you were under water for hours.
Nothing felt real anymore. As soon as Ryland took away his helmet, dropping his glasses on the floor inadvertently, he caught your face carefully between both hands. “Hey hey hey. Look at me.”
His forehead nearly touched yours now. Blue eyes moving frantically with panic. “You’re safe. You’re inside. Breathe with me, please?”
You tried following the rhythm of his breathing. Putting your hands down from the collar of your suit and lending them on his chest. You couldn’t feel his heartbeat, nor his breathing under all that protection. Maybe that worsened your mental state for a second, you couldn’t tell. In. Out. You were having a full blown panic attack.
But your body wouldn’t listen.
The room tilted suddenly sideways.
Your hands slipped weakly from the front of his suit.
“Hey.”
His voice sounded farther away now.
“No no no! Stay awake.”
You wanted to answer.
Instead darkness pressed heavily at the edges of your vision.
Your chest spasmed painfully one last time.
Then everything disappeared.
—
The first thing you felt was warmth. Not the artificial heat of the ship. Something softer. Just like the blanket Ryland would use to cover you both at night. It was cosy.. You also definitely could tell that there were arms around you.
And voices nearby.
“…oxygen levels stabilizing.”
Rocky.
“... slight concussion and lack of oxygen.”
Armando.
“…she just passed out.”
Ryland.
His voice sounded wrecked. He was stressed, and tired, you could hear it before even seeing it. Speaking of seeing.. You forced your eyes open slowly.
Dim amber lights greeted you overhead. The dormitory…
You were lying half against Ryland’s chest now, curled instinctively toward the warmth of his body while he held you tightly against him on the floor.
The second he realized you were awake, relief hit his face so hard it almost looked like he was about to cry. Tears cripping their way behind his eyelids.
“Oh thank God.”
The words left him like a prayer. One shaking hand moved immediately against your skin, his thumb brushing your cheek.
“You with me?”
You nodded weakly. Your head still spun slightly, probably from the lack of oxygen due to the panic attack.
Ryland exhaled something dangerously close to a laugh before dropping his forehead briefly against yours. Avoiding putting any force next to the bandage on your left brow bone.
His entire body trembled.
“You scared me so badly.”
The honesty in his voice hurt more than the dizziness. You raised your eyes towards his face. You pinched your lips.. You felt guilty.
You swallowed weakly.
“Sorry.”
“No.” His answer came instantly. Sharply.
One arm tightened around you again unconsciously. “Again. You do not get to apologize for almost dying today.”
Despite everything, a faint exhausted smile tugged weakly at your lips. You were not going to contradict him this time. Ryland stared at it for one silent second. Then suddenly his eyes closed hard.
As if that tiny smile alone nearly shattered whatever composure he still had left.
Rocky’s translator crackled softly nearby. “Grace leaky blob again question.”
Ryland let out a strained breath against your hair as he kissed the top of your head.
This photo is very important to me as a nerd fucked. Like yessss Ryland. Lean forward and say some of the most condescending shit imaginable to me. We both know who is getting pegged later. And it ain’t gonna be me. ;)
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