Product Placement
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JBB: An Artblog!
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
Not today Justin
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$LAYYYTER
Cosmic Funnies
art blog(derogatory)
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@razorbadger
The thing about moving onto other book series after four months of exclusively reading cosmere novels is I'm still constantly expecting Hoid to show up at any moment. Like god forbid an author ever describes a character as having angular features
Tumblr's Hate Mail Game is Insane! But Make it Cosmere
When people make incisive or witty or extreme comments, another person will often reply, "Wow. Tumblr's hate mail game is insane!" If Tumblr existed in the Cosmere and had the same sort of culture, here is the "hate mail" that I think anons would be sending.
I've done quite a few of these "Cosmere characters on tumblr posts"...
Cosmere Characters Make Tumblr Polls
Cosmere Validation Posts
Cosmere Characters' gimmick blogs
Cosmere characters' favorite tumblr post
Cosmere characters on tumblr
1.
Anon: I'm surprised you don't have a spren yet. You have such an interesting bouquet of mental illnesses.
HELLO???
2.
Anon: Listen, I'm going to block you after this, but I wanted to just let you know that I am NOT blocking you because of your post about how if the Stormfather had a dick it would be electrified. That electrified dick post was pretty based. No, I'm unfollowing you because of everything else about you.
Anon come back I can change for you
3.
Anon: "I think 80% of the vocally pro-Hemalurgy people are just teens trying to be edgy" ~You, someone with a Survivorist icon
kifeiaopjajkjoifjieoajior
4.
Anon: I can't believe you're from Sel!! I'd been assuming this whole time that you were a Drab from Nalthis, you know, because of your general lackluster taste in art and music.
Help? I'm being skewered?
5.
Anon: I think you'd be a good worldhopper. I think if you were a worldhopper you'd say it was because of the thrill of adventure but it would actually be because you're never satisfied with what you have and are always convinced that the next change will be the one that fixes you forever. IDK. You just have that vibe.
omg you can't just appear and say this to me i'm crying
6.
Anon: I know a guy who makes Soul Stamps. Super reasonable price. Doesn't ask a lot of questions--well, I mean, he DOES ask a lot of questions because you have to in order to make a Soul Stamp but he doesn't ask a lot of questions about why you want it. He just sort of accepts that sometimes a person wants to be a different person. anyway do you want me to dm you their number?
HELP the WINDUP??
7.
Anon: Claims to be second heightening. Favorite artist is Taylor Swift. It's not okay to lie about what heightening you are.
Her music is good?????
8.
Anon: so were you like cursed by cultivation or is this just who you are as a person
anon you can't say that to someone
9.
Anon: I think you'd be a good candidate for the Shard of Whimsy.
ARE YOU CALLING ME A CLOWN
10
Anon: You're like if Elantrian Slime became sentient.
Chat, I won't be recovering from this any time soon.
11.
Anon: "Oh no, it's hipster season." --You, who once used a pumpkin spice latte to swallow your metals.
THAT WAS ONE TIME ANON PLEASE
12.
Anon: I just wanted to say that if you were a stick, I think you'd become fire.
Tumblr's hate mail game is insane.
Also on age verification: I have been on this website since 2011. Unless you think I started blogging at age 2, you KNOW I'm an adult.
#the fact that 'can prove access to an online account at least 12 years old' or even 'account to be verified is itself fully 18 years old'#AREN'T accepted methods of age verification is such a telling sign of what the real purpose of age-gating laws is:#data harvesting and deanonymization and the buildout of state-controllable ways to restrict both content and internet access itself en masse (via @shinelikethunder )
⬆️
✨️SHAKADOLIN✨️
What was human society like on Scadrial when Ruin and Preservation first created humans? Did they establish any infrastructure for the people to work off of or was it like Survivor except that the humans involved had literally never existed before? Were all the original humans the same age? Were they created in family groups or was it just assumed that they would figure it out? Did Leras or Ati, like, tell the people anything? Were they created with skills? Were the first few decades of Scadrian history just Leras and Ati’s collaborative game of Sims? The people want to know.
Happy Pride Month from Dalinar Kholin
reading a good interesting book after a horrible reading slump and suddenly you can feel the sun shining again and the sky is more beautiful than ever and birds are all singing songs to you
The Lawman and his Deputy. Wax and Wayne during their time in the Roughs.
ShinHan Pass hybrid watercolour on Fabriano °5 paper.
How Cosmere Characters Would Come Out
As requested by @im-bad-at-names-okay :)
Happy Pride Month! If Cosmere characters wanted to "come out," here is how they would do so.
1. Renarin: A series of unsigned letters
Lore drop: I came out via a letter to my parents when I was in high school.
Dalinar: The first note said, "Someone is gay." Dalinar: The second note said, "Someone you know." Dalinar: The third note said, "Someone in your family." Dalinar: The fourth note said, "One of your sons." Dalinar: ... Dalinar: I think I can predict what the fifth note will say.
2. Adolin: Tells people face-to-face
He just figures that telling people in person is the right thing to do.
Adolin: ...So anyway, I like men as well as women. May: Yes. I am aware. Adolin: Y-You are?? Did someone tell you?? May: You stare at a lot of butts. Adolin: ... Adolin: Yeah, okay, that makes sense.
3. Kaladin: The most dramatic moment possible
Think about every time Kaladin let someone know he was Radiant. Now apply that logic to Kaladin coming out.
Kaladin: [Glowing with stormlight, descending slowly from the sky] Kaladin: Romance. Sex. Gender. None of it--none of it--is compulsory, and none of it is for me! Lirin: You literally could have told us this normally at dinner last night. Hesina (elbowing him): Shhhh!
4. Wayne: Casually, conversationally
Wayne drops the lore as if it's no big deal, although he is admittedly a bit anxious the first time (when he tells Wax).
Wax: Listen, Wayne, if you want to be a good man... Wayne: Actually, I'm a girl today. Wax: [processing very quickly] Just today? Wayne: Well, we'll see, I guess. Sometimes it's just for a day. Sometimes it's a girl week. Wax: Noted. Wax: Listen, Wayne, if you want to be a good woman...
5. Rlain: Matter-of-factly
Rlain knows he has to make humans accept him as a person. Sometimes he tells them that he plays cards. Sometimes he tells them that he is gay.
Rlain: I'm Rlain. And this is my boyfriend, Renarin. The Alethi guy who was just talking shit about Singers: Uh... Rlain: Now you know something else about me. Rlain: Namely, I can pull.
6. Shallan: Eventually and with difficulty
Look, Shallan does not like to reveal lore about herself. Sometimes it takes being trapped in a cave in a high storm. Sometimes she makes her alters do it. It's a process.
Shallan (currently huddled with Kaladin in the little nook while the high storm rages outside) Shallan: ....A-And also, I think I have a crush on Jasnah! Shallan: Does that mean I like women??? Kaladin: Even worse, you might have bad taste in women! Shallan: What Kaladin: I shouldn't say my first thought.
7. Sazed: Makes Wax do it
This is always the Sazed-Harmony strategy.
Sazed: [communicating with Wax via his earring] Please tell everyone that my pronouns are now "they/them" so if they could stop using "he" for me, I'd appreciate it. Sazed: I know that there are other things going on, but it has been annoying me for hundreds of years now. Wax: ...You sent a kandra to command me to put in my earring for this...? Couldn't the kandra just do it...? Sazed: You try explaining pronouns to a kandra!
8. Vivenna: Just kinda assumed people knew
The short hair and the sword aren't enough??
Beard: Captain, we've been talking... Beard: And we've come up with a list of just three guys in all of Kholinar who we think MIGHT be worthy of going on a date with you! Vivenna: ...Try again, but with women. Beard: .... Beard: Oh! Vivenna (to herself): How much more obvious could I make it?
9. Jasnah: Writes a truly groundbreaking treatise
Jasnah is not going to bother coming out if it's not also scholarship.
Ethid: Your treatise on asexuality will truly have a lasting effect on scholarship. Jochi: I predict that the undertext referring to your own experiences will promote much speculation in future generations. Jasnah: Thank you, both. Jasnah: ...Glad that relationship was worth something.
10. Nikaro: Tells no one until they all figure it out for themselves
Nikaro can't shake the fear that everyone will leave if they know the truth, groundless as that fear may be.
Akane: Last week you had a boyfriend. Yumi: Correct. Akane: Today you have a girlfriend. Yumi: I do. Akane: Your girlfriend looks quite a bit like my old friend, Nikaro. Yumi: Fancy that. Akane: ... Akane: Congrats on the gender, Painter! Painter: ...It's that easy?
11. Dalinar: Unintentional lore drop
Dalinar is one of Those dads.
Dalinar: [comforting an adolescent Adolin] Dalinar: Adolin, do not be troubled by your crush on Jakamav. Dalinar: Every man has crushes on his male friends. Dalinar: It is very normal. .... Adolin (eight years later): WAIT A STORMING MINUTE
Can’t remember last time I have drawn so many characters on one canvas 🫢
But here they are
P.S. I meant Rlain to be much bigger but nvm I’ll fix that on my next artworks
The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003) dir. Peter Jackson
if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems
I absolutely love that Kaladin has parents. Like yes, he still has to deal with his dad going “all right mr glowy. Tell me again why you arent a surgeon”, and he gets to mope like the 20 year old teenager he is
Stormlight But Kaladin Has a Puppy
Kaladin with puppy requested by anon. :)
No puppies will be even (imaginarily) harmed in the making of this post! Anyway, let's think about key moments in the Stormlight Archive and how the would have been different with Kaladin had a puppy during them.
1. Kaladin forcing the Bridgemen to wake up
Kaladin has decided to take control and make sure the bridgemen survive. But they don't respect him. They don't listen to him. He decides he's going to wake them up at the crack of dawn to train....and he decides to pick the meanest bridgeman to make an example of.
Moash: WHAT THE HELL IS LICKING MY FACE The puppy: ! ! ! ! ! ! Kaladin: And if the rest of you don't want to be woken by slobbery kisses, you'd better get up! Rock: ....Sounds kinda nice, actually. Moash: IT IS NOT NICE
2. The Disadvantaged Duel
Adolin and Renarin are in the arena. It's the disadvantaged duel. Dalinar is frantically asking someone, anyone to help them--where is their honor??
Kaladin: Honor will not be with me. But I'll see what I can do. Kaladin: [hands Dalinar a fat, fluffy puppy and then jumps into the arena] Dalinar: [staring down at the glyph on the puppy's collar] This creature's name is Honor...?
3. Prison
Kaladin has been thrown into prison due to him daring to challenge Amaram.
Kaladin: I'm so sorry, Honor. Kaladin: This prison.... We can't see the sun. We can't leave. It's like being trapped in the darkness. The puppy: [is making little puppy snoring sounds in its sleep] Kaladin: ... Kaladin: Maybe it's not quite so bad with you here.
4. Kaladin and Shallan in the chasms
It's the next morning. Shallan has barely slept. She is bedraggled. Exhausted. Irritated.
Kaladin (cheerfully): It's morning! Let's get walking! The puppy (equally cheerfully): Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Shallan: ... Shallan: They're both storming morning people?!
5. Kaladin rescuing Dalinar from Szeth
Szeth sent Dalinar up into the sky to die. But! He just floated back down, safe and sound! And who is that coming down from the sky, glowing and heroic?
Kaladin (he has a puppy in his arms): You (bark!) sent him (bark!) to the sky (bark!) to (bark!) die, assassin. (bark!) But (bark) the skies (bark!) are mine (bark!).... Kaladin: ... Kaladin: Um, Honor, do you mind? I'm trying be dramatic here.
6. Returning to Hearthstone
Kaladin's return to Hearthstone was very dramatic in canon, what with him being a Radiant 'n' all. But in this version, he also has a puppy.
That guard, stubbornly: He's dangerous. He has a shash brand. Hesina: He is currently playing with an adorable puppy! The guard: It's probably a...dangerous puppy? Hesina: Do you have eyes???
7. Fighting Lezian
Kaladin is being constantly pursued by a horrible Fused who can discard his body and zip into a new one to avoid death!
The puppy: [happily chasing Lezian's discarded husks like it's a game of fetch] Lezian: Um, can he stop doing that? I feel like it's bad for my dignity. Kaladin: You have dignity?
8. The dog and the dragon
Kaladin is in a coma. His soul has been taken to Braize. It is horrible. But! Hoid has come. And he's telling Kaladin a story.
Hoid: "The dog slunk away, feeling foolish and hurt. He had failed in his first task, to have scales like a dragon." Kaladin (holding a dream version of his puppy protectively in his arms): He did NOT fail! Kaladin: That dog did NOTHING wrong!
9. The puppy and Syl
I just want to state for the record that no matter where we are in Stormlight, Syl absolutely LOVES the puppy.
Kaladin: !! Kaladin: Syl...did you just pet Honor? Syl: I'm learning to be more solid! Syl: Specifically so I can scratch a very good good boy under his super soft and fluffy ears! The puppy: Bark! Bark! Bark! Syl: I love you too!!
10. The puppy and Kaladin's depression
Having a puppy would not in any way cure Kaladin's depression, of course. But depression + puppy > than depression and no puppy, am I right?
Kaladin: Sometimes...when I get really lost in my dark thoughts... Kaladin: It's like Honor guides me back out. Kaladin: I see him, and I remember that I'm here, in the present. Kaladin: Sometimes if he sees that I'm upset, he licks my face or nudges my hand. Kaladin: ... Kaladin: Maybe, rather than locking insane people in a dark room, we should give them all puppies. Hoid: ...Did you just invent therapy dogs?
struggling underdog who lost their sibling, bonding a spren (who becomes number one in their support system), undergoing a trial of their beliefs by protecting someone from the oppressing class, and learning what being a knight radiant really is
kaladin stormblessed? SIKE venli the last listener
Kaladin & Adolin Chibi’s <- can be found right here
I missed drawing chibis ✨ so here are some additional characters 💫
Cosmere Characters, Kelsier and Hoid are Dating! Your reactions?
As requested by @i-am-a-radioactive-paperclip :)
Previously in this series: Leshwi/Kaladin, Kaladin/Lezian, Shallan/Vin, Kaladin/Kelsier, Renarin/Rlain, Shakadolin, Shallan/Kaladin, Kaladin/Adolin, Jasnah/Shallan, and Raboniel/Navani.
Note: this post does not contain any WAT spoilers or Era 2 spoilers (to the best of my ability) per requester's request. I'm assuming Secret History spoilers are a go!
1. Vin
Vin: Kelsier is dating...that one beggar who gave him information sometimes...? Vin: ... Vin: But why
2. Shallan
Shallan: [solemnly hands Hoid a plaque] Shallan: I thought talking about poop on a first date was bad. Shallan: But corpse-surfing into a room and then beating a guy up? Now that's bad. Hoid: [reading the plaque] "Worst...first...impression...award"? Shallan: You've earned it, champ.
3. Tress
Tress: Didn't Hoid call this guy his "old nemesis"? Tress: Why would they date if they're enemies? Salay: [putting a gentle hand on Tress's shoulder] Are you in good place to learn information that might hurt you? Tress: ...Yes? Salay: Sometimes, when people hate each other in the right way...
4. Marsh
Marsh: After Mare, I didn't really believe that my brother would ever date again. Marsh: But I didn't consider the possibility that he might date someone who is functionally immortal. Marsh: ... Marsh: I guess he really doesn't want to go through that loss again.
5. Frost
Frost: Hoid, who can do no violence (and yet insists on getting overly involved anyway) is now dating a man who kills as easily as he once breathed. Frost: Hoid has an attack dog. Frost: ... Frost: I do not like where this is going.
6. Jasnah
Hoid: Fired from being the Queen's Wit?! But why? Jasnah: You are dating the head of the organization that orchestrated my assassination. Hoid: ... Hoid: ... Hoid: Oh. Right.
7. Leras
Leras: Kelsier, listen, I get it. Leras: Dating the dangerous bad boy is thrilling. Leras: But then, before you know it, you're trapped on a planet together in a choking, toxic relationship! Kelsier: [glaring] Leras: I-I'm telling you this as a friend! Kelsier: Are you implying that I'm NOT the dangerous bad boy in this relationship?! Leras: ... Leras: It may be too late for me to help you.
8. Ati
Ati: Kelsier, listen, I get it. Ati: As a certified god-puncher, you wanna date the guy who killed the god. Kelsier: ....and? Ati: Hmm? No, that's it. Ati: I'm saying I get it. This relationship makes total sense to me. Kelsier: ... Kelsier: That's the opposite of comforting...
9. Design
Design: Hoid, are you erotically inclined toward men you can beat up? Design: Does that make you a "dom"? Design: If so, isn't pretty sad that your soulweb literally prevents you from doing violence? Design: Will the sex therefore be somewhat hollow and unsatisfying for you? Forever? Design: Is that why you look so grumpy right now? Design: Hey how come you're ignoring me?
10. Sazed
Sazed: If anyone understands opposites attracting, it's me. Sazed: But that's not what this is. Sazed: If anything, they're too similar. Sazed: At least in terms of their need to know, their need to survive no matter what, and their need to get what they want no matter the consequences. Sazed: ... Sazed: The Cosmere might not survive this one.
