thus with a kiss, i die -- romeo and juliet. act 5, scene 3, line 133
never in his life had hyunseung ever been grateful. thankful, maybe, appreciative was a bit of a stretch but being grateful – feeling like he had laid some sort of debt in this person – that was something new. almost frightening.
but the grip that hyuna has around his hand, when she reaches out to brush hair from his face, how she doesn’t seem scared when his lips curve over his teeth, teeth that could very well take away the life (her life) that he held so dear, as he kisses her. they made him grateful. little moments that one by one tore down the walls he had spent decades, centuries, to build.
it was obvious that she was the only person that he would ever readily give his heart to and even then he wasn’t sure if what he could describe was love. it was a sense of dependency, a sense of platonic need. he loved her but he wasn’t entirely sure if he was truly in love with her. but then again, did he really need to be? she was his soulmate, the person who completed his fate.
she was his destiny.
(always has been)
which is why, as much as he wished against it, he was glad to give his life over to her. he knew it, from the day that she approached him in that courtyard while he was avoiding another day of social interactions. he knew that she was his beginning – and she would eventually be his end.
his nightmares never subsided, that much was certain, but his peaceful dreams seemed to increase. what worried him the most was that she was ever present in both. his dreams were a future with her, a two storey house away from the vampire world, three kids running about. a son that towered over him and two girls that bore more resemblance to her smile than he could ever wish for. they shared her laugh, her gravitation, her aura. but at the end, he lost them. either to a freak accident or to a horrible clan of silverbloods, his dream family were lost.
he never bought it up with her because he didn’t want her to worry. she didn’t need to be involved in his destiny, she already played such a large part (and she knew it, too). so he worried by himself. to himself. about their children, (he think hyunsik is a nice name for a son), about what their life could’ve. would’ve. should’ve been.
the day he turns 20, he proposes to her. a traditional, private little moment shared between the two of them in the courtyard that they had met. he knew she was going to say no but he didnt care – it was more a need, a promise that he will always be there for her, rather than a declaration of love. and he was willing to wait until she was ready to say yes.
(because he knew he wouldn’t be alive to see the day)
she stares at him, gaping at the rock that sits in the velvet box in his palm, and he thinks he could just smother her with kisses. she was down right precious, the way her eyes sparkled at she glanced at the ring and then back at him. her jaw falls slightly ajar, she seems happy he thinks, but a rustle catches his attention instead.
“oh no,” he quickly glances over his shoulder and he knows, “they found me.”
he snaps the box closed, “they are here to kill me” before gripping hyuna by the shoulders “and they will kill you if you get in their way.” his words were quick, tired almost with heavy breaths weighing in between them. he considers his options though he already knows what needs to be done. “hyuna, you need to do one thing for me okay?”
she nods sheepishly, keeping quiet. he knows her eyes are training the plants, ears listening intently to track the steps before they arrive. he was glad she knew what to do in this situation, that she was smart enough to get through.
it would make everything easier.
“i love you. you know that.”
she nods and he shuts his eyes trying to find the easiest way to say this. his hand slips silently into the inner pocket of her jacket, pulling out a small pocket knife he knows she always carries around for these situations. he pulls her into a hug, opening his eyes to look at her one more time. god was she beautiful, he thinks as he places the knife into her hand and feels her fingers wrap around its handle. “after this. after all of this, you are going to meet a great man one day and – ” he sees her lips open slightly, about to rebut him but he cuts her off “ – and you will have great kids and you will be happy"
his hand layers over hers as he leads her hand over his chest, just barely above his heart. he pushed her hand in a bit so she could feel the tip of the blade on his flesh. he hears her squeak, eyes wide as she registers what he is asking her to do: "hyunseung – i – i can’t. i won’t!”
there is another rustle behind them and he can see shadows approach, even with his back turned. if he wants them to leave her alone, if he wants her to have the life that she deserves, that he wished he deserved, this needed to be done. it was cliche’d, the way he leant down to kiss her one more time as he pushes her hand – forcing the blade into his heart. he feels it instantly, even with all the silverblood training he received, the pain is fresh and unbearable. he tries to smile as the shock registers across her face, taking her cheek in his palm.
“you were always my destiny” he smiles, one last time before the world turns black and the shadows begin to recede.
