the hogwarts hogwash

something wicked this way comes. it's the hogwash, sniffing out the gossip and exposing the scandals since 1975

[rdrgossip-blog]

I heard that Diggory cut a Quidditch practice short to run off with Lucrezia

However will Lucrezia’s many other lovers react? Between Amycus, Cassius, Isabelle, and now Amos, Lucrezia must be worn out (and stretched out). It looks like our resident school skank continues to reign, despite the recent attempt on her throne by Alice. They should have a competition, see who can get more bodies in their beds by the end of the year. 

[rdrgossip-blog]

What is with the bad boys going after the good girls? Do they want to cause more damage than they already do?

I assume you’re talking about Antonin and Florence? Though you could also be speaking of Nathaniel and Greta, considering they were spotted up close and personal at the Gryffindor scavenger hunt fiasco. I imagine it’s simple sadism, wanting to drag the purest among us down to their level. Not that Greta is that pure-foot fetish, remember? I called it now, it won’t be long until Nathaniel is painting toenails. 

[rdrgossip-blog]

Barty and Micah seem awfully close. Almost like they're together. 8)

Our resident brooding Ravenclaws could make quite a match, but whatever would Evan and Emma do? We all know that Rosier is pining after Barty, and Micah and Emma have to be shagging. At least, I hope that Barty and Micah aren’t meant to be. Those two seem like they would blow up the castle together. Let’s hope they stick to blowing each other instead. 

[rdrgossip-blog]

rumor has it that amos and fabian got into a physical fight in the corridors the other day. not much of a friendship left if you ask me.

It’s toxic codepedence at its finest. They will go back to each other, because they know they can’t do any better. What I want is for all my loyal readers to keep an eye on Gideon Prewett, maybe even inform him of this development. Who knows what the explosive Gryffindor will do when he finds out Diggory punched his darling twin? 

[rdrgossip-blog]

what do you think of the alice-frank-septima situation?

It would seem like a love triangle is brewing in our midst, though at this point, it’s more like a love octagon, considering Alice’s numerous dalliances. Perhaps Frank should go for Septima, if he doesn’t want to catch anything strange. 

[rdrgossip-blog]

Rumor has it that half the student body has seen Marlene McKinnon naked

That would make sense, considering half the student body is male. And we all know Marlene isn’t exactly discriminatory… 

[rdrgossip-blog]

I have it on good authority that Rodolphus Lestrange is a virgin. Guess he really just doesn't know where to put it.

Or maybe he just doesn’t have it. Guess he doesn’t put the rod in Rodolphus after all…no wonder Bellatrix is so batty. Poor thing isn’t getting any. 

[rdrgossip-blog]

merlin, do you think the littlest Bones and Emma Vanity are hooking up???

That’s the only explanation I can think of for why Micah acts like such a brat, is that he’s getting laid out of it. Besides, we all know Emma is known for making the most rational decisions. And if you get past the pout, Bones is rather cute. Not fuckable-cute, but Emma had to scrape the bottom of the barrel eventually, right?

[rdrgossip-blog]

did you see the drama on the train between rosalie and cassius?

A source nearby overheard pieces of the argument. Apparently, Mr. Mulciber was not pleased with Rosalie’s friendship with Ted Tonks. Is Rosalie emerging a blood traitor from her Purist family? Or is this another one of Cassius’ psychotic rants? (Let’s be honest, the boy has the anger of a wronged Veela and the intelligence of a drunk skunk.)

[rdrgossip-blog]

what do you think is happening between our head girl and head boy?

I have two words for you, love. Hate. Fucking. If it hasn’t happened yet, it will. Those two are the epitome of cutthroat snakes, and for these dangerous liaisons, everything is a sexy competition. I have to say, I’m fairly concerned that Dumbledore has put them in charge. With the heat building between those two, they could burn the castle down. 

[rdrgossip-blog]

What the hell is wrong with Amos and Fabian? They laugh and hug each other in the corridors and in the next minute they yell their brains out. Talk about a problematic relationship...

It’s a classic pattern, Amos being self-destructive and Fabian being so desperate for affection that he tries to fix him. Watch them after a few Firewhiskeys, they’re either going to end up in bed or in the Hospital Wing. Hope someone has a camera...

[rdrgossip-blog]

Lucrezia and Isabelle are awfully close for people who are "just friends"

I don’t think they could handle being in a relationship, considering they both have to be the most beautiful one in the room. One of these days, these girls are going to come to blows-and I wouldn’t be surprised if Isabelle claws a bitch’s eye out. We all know there’s a vicious harpy lurking underneath the sickly-sweet surface. 

[rdrgossip-blog]

Not really a relationship but Dolohov and Barty kissed during a Ravenclaw game of Truth or Dare.

Really? Now that’s some good gossip. I’m sure Florence and Evan don’t know about these developments, considering how they hang onto Dolohov and Crouch. I suppose whatever happens in Ravenclaw Tower stays in Ravenclaw Tower.. 

[rdrgossip-blog]

Most attractive students from each house?

I have to say, Hogwarts does not have a great selection. Still, there are a few standouts from the grim corridors. 

Gryffindor - Mary Macdonald 

Those sharp features, that luscious black hair, legs that go on for miles. She may be famous for being the victim of a blood supremacist attack, but if you ignore the jumpiness and sad eyes, she’s the hottest in Godric’s house. 

Ravenclaw - Kingsley Shacklebolt 

Big, strong, and handsome, with a smile that melts even my frigid black heart. I could devour that for days, if only he would open up a little more (or at least open his legs). I know there’s a sexy beast inside, if he could just let his walls down. 

Hufflepuff - Florence Fawley

You have to love the final stages of innocence unspoiled. Anyone could fall for those wide eyes, full lips, and cheekbones you could cut glass on. It amazes me that she’s still single, but you know someone will be swooping in soon.

Slytherin - Evan Rosier

Hello, chiseled jaw for days. Combined with just-got-out-of-bed head and a cocky smirk forever on his lips, Evan Rosier is the sexiest snake to ever walk these halls. He may be a narcissist with a penchant for prostitutes, but I can forgive just about anything when he turns on the smolder. 

[rdrgossip-blog]

Apparently, all the Hufflepuffs are going wild for once. Who let them out of the basement?

Look, people don’t realize it, but Hufflepuffs are designed to be sluts. Desperate to be liked, compulsive need to help others, willing to put in the hard work, check check check. It was only a matter of time before they started to spread their plucky spirit (and Merlin knows what else) through the castle. 

[rdrgossip-blog]

When will an actual interesting relationship hit the Hogwarts scene? Or are all the good ones in hiding all of a sudden?

This is a good point, darling anonymous. So far, Hogwarts is a snooze fest. Which is why I propose a little competition. Has anyone seen a potential couple lurking in the halls? Spotted a clandestine kiss by the Great Lake? Send it in to the Hogwash. Juiciest couple wins. 

Game on. 

[rdrgossip-blog]

Favorite/most interesting people from each house?

My favorites are the ones that cause the most drama. Here are the ones to watch:

Gryffindor - Marlene 

Marlene McKinnon is my favorite budding alcoholic, her fabulous missteps frequently filling these pages. From her desperate flirting with Gideon, to her kiss with Remus, to her world-class drunken episodes, Marlene is a constant source of entertainment. 

Ravenclaw - Antonin 

He’s a master of mystery, with a charming smile and a twisted streak. We all know there’s something wrong beneath the surface, but what is this Russian hiding? I can’t wait until the facade crumbles, and the golden boy explodes. 

Hufflepuff - Alice

Before this year, I found her dreadfully boring, but these new owls have me intrigued. School sluts come from the most unexpected of places, and I can’t wait to see who Alice hooks up with at the Gryffindor bash. 

Slytherin - Rabastan

This was a hard choice, considering the intense personalities in the house, but I had to go with the littlest Lestrange. This is a boy that’s the essence of bitter, a cruel bully with an explosive temper. This one is on the brink of a meltdown.