were taking a break from dave stdider for now because its christmas eve
im not even gonna try to spell what the trolls are calling it
so i dressed myself up as santa
a more accurate description would be 'gandalf the red'
but enough about what im doing in the spirit of shitscram
i found some christmas themed naruto poetry
thats some list of words that dont fit in the same sentence
I just had to write something for the Christmas holiday.
My version of a Night Before Christmas.
It might be a tad crackish, and possibly stupid.
Please don't be offended if it is. It was all written out of jest.
why did you bother posting it online
I hope it's funny and makes you laugh.
Reviews would be wonderful!!!! No flames.
flashbacks of tara and her revoiwers flams
Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house.
Not a ninja was stirring, not even the bitchy spouse.
ha ha get it because the wife should be in the kitchen
The paper bombs were hung by the chimney with care.
In hopes that the sparks would send St Nicholas aflare.
why would you want to blow up santa
The children were nestled all snug in their beds.
After ingesting their nighttime meds.
And Sakura in her pink and I sleeping in my cap,
She had knocked me unconscious with a hard slap.
I awoke when outside arose such a clatter.
That we grabbed our shuriken to see what was the matter.
theyre really hellbent on killing santa arent they
Sasuke flew to the window, quick as a flash.
Despite having a horrible rash.
im starting to regret this
He looked outside then smiled, and called to us both:
''The fat bastard is here! Come on, let's go!"
so are they trying to kill santa or fat bastard?
lord knows i want to get rid of mike myers
his face from cat in the hat still haunts my nightmares
We ran to the roof and were startled to hear.
The call of Santa with his eight reindeer.
and rudolph is chopped liver
evidently this happens before they decided to be nice to him
He was fat and old, and looked like a dick.
So it had to be good old St. Nick.
are you sure it wasnt fat bastard
"So you damn dirty drunk, you really came?''
Sakura yelled, but he had no shame.
"Now, Asser! Now, Cancer! Now, Prancer and Dickson!
On Vomet! On Stupid! On, Bonner and Spitzen!
karkat theyre calling you
Those kids, they're trying to kill us all!
Those freaking Buddhists, let's make them bawl!"
im not quite sure if the naruto characters are buddhists
buddha wouldnt endorse some of the shit these guys pull with their ninja skills
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
We sprang to the air, up towards the sky.
and were promptly carried away by the hurricane
I snuck up behind and yelled, "Boo!''
But somehow he had known what I would do.
i applaud you santa, i wouldnt have guessed that he was about to do that
first of all you jumped in the upward direction so how the hell would you end up behind him
its not halloween you piece of shit
The sleigh full of toys landed on my roof.
''You, blond boy! Are you some kind of doof?"
its pretty hard to find rhymes for roof i admit
He laughed mockingly, and I growled at the sound.
''Shut up, you pedophile!" I yelled at him now.
in which universe does sound rhyme with now
His gay, furry outfit was covered in soot.
only in christmas themed naruto poetry
For he also had some pot stashed with his lute.
why does santa have a lute in the first place
I threw a kunai and aimed for his sac.
his sack of toys or his sack
Sakura tried to knock him down with a death smack.
no jokes about her rack? okay
But the old man escaped, all jolly and merry.
Until Sasuke shoved a pole right up his hairy-
thats not how you do a cutoff rhyme
As he fell to the ground, he cried with a howl:
"Son of a bitch, all right! You brats win, let me go!"
howl does not rhyme with go
We smiled, hearing him admit defeat.
Then we grabbed the toy sac, and climbed to our feet.
''Sakura, stay here and watch ol' Santy.
We'll deliver the gifts to the kids who didn't get any!"
because you fucking killed santa you asshats
Which was every child in the village no doubt.
because you nearly killed santa
We were sick of Santa jipping, and leaving us out.
you tried to kill him, you made it to the naughty list yourself
Just 'cause we're ninja and are trained to kill,
Doesn't mean we don't deserve the holiday thrill!
indiscriminate murder is counterproductive
The next day, the children awoke with cheer.
Finding presents in their houses for the first time in years.
this whole premise is stupid
if naruto and his friends were waiting for santa to show up
even though santa never showed up at their village
how would they know if he decided to show his hairy ass around there specifically that year?
We let Santa go, and thanked him this time:
"Thanks for the gifts! They didn't cost us a dime!''
so they stabbed santa, stole his gifts, delivered them in his stead
and then theyre like thanks for letting us save christmas
He snorted, unamused, while rubbing his sore ass.
He promised next year, he'd certainly be back.
this author is willing to jump through hoops to rhyme roof with doof but then says fuck it and rhymes ass with back
just because baby got back is about ass doesnt mean they rhyme
We smirked, and heard him exclaim as he flew out of sight,
"Merry Christmas, Naruto! Oh wait! Did I mention that I did your mom last night?"
and now i think i need to drink some eggnog
