Shut up Wesley

Call me Sam or Yeet, they/them pronouns please and thanks! The snail in the icon is by me. I'm panromantic and asexual. If you don't like that, then kindly fuck off.

[readysetyeet]

Very belated apologies to anyone named Wesley. It's a star trek tng reference

[myceliumatter]

i wish there was more social existence you could participate in laying down. I wish there were cafes that were two little futon beds parallel to each other with a low table in between so you could eat and drink while lounging. I wish there were group activities like painting or glazing clay or theaters that were designed to have beds and bed-height tables instead of chairs. I wish there were beds alongside benches outside for anyone to use. I wish air mattresses or roll-out beds were as common as cheap shitty chairs at things like barbeques, beaches, and concerts. so much life would open up to me and be enjoyable if I could lay down instead of sitting or standing for prolonged periods and completely wearing myself down with pain.

[hachimitsujpg]

made some chibis recently

[skopostheorie]

[sabertoothwalrus]

I'm sorry to inform you that there was no Ace Attorney announcement as a part of the Nintendo direct on 9th of June. I fear the reddit "leak" was most likely fanart

ohhhhhhh yeah I think I see what you mean. it probably looks like fanart because I'm actually the one who drew it

My thought process for a hypothetical new Ace Attorney went as such:

Ace Attorney will not spoil the twists from their other games, even if it leads to weird/unsatisfying characterization and dropped plot threads.

As much as I wish it weren't true, Ace Attorney will never have a game without a young, female character in the main lineup.

If they make an AA7, even one year of timeskip means all the younger teenage girl characters (Trucy, Pearl, Athena) will be "too old."

That means AA7 will have a new teenage girl character.

However, I have a hunch (wishful thinking) capcom will return to existing popular characters again, since adding a lot of new characters in AA6 and TGAA (which I have still not played) led them to having more niche popularity than the older games

Also, the AA4 version of Phoenix scored way higher than the AA5-6 version of Phoenix in the 2024 popularity poll, and Trucy scored #4

So... if AA7 will probably have new characters, but we want a game with returning characters, then why not make a game that takes place during the 7 years timeskip?

If a game stars Phoenix during that time period when he's not currently a lawyer but canonically still helping solve cases, wouldn't the Ace Attorney Investigations format fit perfectly?

So, in my hypothetical AAI3, it would involve Phoenix and Trucy helping Edgeworth solve cases & creating the MASON system a year before the events of AA4. Instead of Edgeworth's "mind chess," there'd be a mini-game where you'd interrogate people under the guise of poker. You'd meed a young girl in Europe named Athena and help her out of a sticky situation. And of course, the AAI games all feature a flashback case, so in this game you'd play as Mia Fey, with Phoenix as her new apprentice.

I enjoyed designing the costumes for this! I even consulted a friend living in Japan so make sure the fashion wasn't too influenced by my western bias.

I gave Phoenix the blazer/hoodie combo because allegedly a lot of men in Japan do wear that, and there was a similar design in the AA4 concept art. And I gave him crocs because I thought it was funny.

it turns out it's way harder to make a fake game leak than it looks LMAO basically no one believed it, but I still had a lot of fun!! I'm surprised no one called me out on it tbh, this is predictable behavior for me. sorry for lying I live for the bit 🫡

[nyanletnest]

bwaow

[littleguysdaily]

Yeah

[memesmusingcorner-moving]

This is an oc x canon safe zone.

[depsidase]

[broken-horn-of-equius]

[mf-dooom]

[yetanothergreyjedi]

that is the face of a man worried he will be next

[ashtraythief]

Good news, he was not next! In fact, she accepted him as her mate, he learned the crane mating dance and now every year, he artificially inseminates her with crane semen to expand the very endangered crane population. True story.

[luulapants]

Sorry, he WHAT? Imagine being this man's boss and having to sit him down like. Listen. Brian. We need you to fuck the bird. You have to act like you're excited about it.

[whetstonefires]

crane husband.....

[roach-works]

this is the diametric opposite of all those awful swan wife stories and i love it.

[alex51324]

(WalWaPo makes you jump through like three separate hoops before you can read the article, so I will share some of the highlights:

Walnut was born in a species-recovery breeding program in the 1980′s.  The program had crane chicks hand-raised by human volunteers, and at that time they did not fully understand the measures necessary make sure that the chicks do not imprint on humans and retain their identity as cranes.  

As a result, her keepers believe, Walnut does not recognize other cranes as members of her own species.  

It has not been proven that Walnut killed her previous suitors; however, there is a persistent rumor in the white-naped-crane-conservation community that she did.  

Because this species is highly endangered, and the gene pool of the captive population is small, it’s pretty important for the survival of her species that Walnut A) mate, and B) not kill a bunch of other cranes.  

The actual name of the keeper is Chris Crowe.

They both arrived at the Smithsonian Conservation Biology Institute in 2004.   

Walnut immediately began paying special attention to Chris--and ignoring the eligible male crane in a nearby enclosure.  

Walnut initiated their courtship, performing the opening moves of a mating dance.  

Chris realized that if he reciprocated the mating dance, it might be possible to artificially inseminate Walnut with her participation and consent.  (The process normally involves restraining the bird.)  

It worked!  

Chris and Walnut have had five children, who were raised by other crane couples at the facility--sometimes the biological dad and his mate--both because it’s unclear whether Walnut would accept the chicks as her own, and because Chris is not equipped to be a Crane Dad.  

However, the Institute provides her with artificial eggs to sit on, and Chris takes his turn looking after them.  (This would not work with real eggs because he can’t sit on them properly, but Walnut seems to feel that he is on the job if he just stands over them.)

Chris accepts that he is pretty much married to this bird.  White-naped cranes live to be about 60, and they mate for life, so he knows he can’t retire while Walnut is alive.  (At the time of the article, Walnut was 36, and Chris 42.)  

[thesylverlining]

Legit cannot pick the funniest part of this

she has not been PROVEN to have killed her exes, but there is a PERSISTENT RUMOR (really officers she's simply DEVASTATED, she sobs, wearing a new feather boa unfortunately resembling her most recent deceased husband)

His name is Chris CROWE. (Mrs. Walnut Crane-Crowe?)

the mental images of a whole human man learning and performing the crane mating dance, and "sitting" on artificial eggs so she thinks he's performing his duties as a husband and father (and apparently OBJECTS if he does not?)

"chris, buddy, you gotta marry the possibly-murderous crane lady for the GOOD OF THE SPECIES." (alternately: "chris, my man! good news! we found you a very interested lady! She's 36, she's very spirited and independent, she holds a very important and rare status in her society! ...Is there a downside? WELL...")

chris sits any potential human partners down, like "my love, you must understand before we wed,,, i am already... Attached" (camera drifts wistfully to the above photo) "Lady Walnut and I have an,, Understanding... the relationship is open, but very committed"

[anais-ninja-bitch]

just had to explain this post to my father bc he thought my stifled laughter was a signal of illness.

well done, everyone, good game. hit the showers.

[largishcat]

[eshlimoriarty]

[lazorsandparadox]

Not only is he 'married' to walnut, this has apparently happened SEVERAL times, so he has MULTIPLE crane wives, none of which know about any of his other crane wives. This man is, for some unknown reason, irresistible to cranes

[queersatanic]

the “this content has been removed for violating Tumblr’s Community Guidelines” notice really adds a lot of flavor to this post and somehow makes it MORE obscene than whatever that actually was

[worldheritageposts-official]

World Heritage Post

[kedreeva]

I regret being the bearer of bad news, but I thought it should be shared that Walnut passed away in January of this year (2024). There's a lot of mixed info about the lifespan of cranes (due to people misunderstanding what a median is...) but the average for most species I know of is 20-30 years (in the wild if nothing eats them/they don't die young), and 30-45 in captivity, with the oldest known white-naped crane having loved to be 46. Given that she was 42, this old gal did good, and I'm certain she will be missed by folks here.

[optimysticals]

Fly on forever Walnut Crane-Crowe

[paramaline]

shoutout to my coworker for thinking that “illuminati” and “alumnae” meant the same thing and absolutely destroying everyone in the room when he casually dropped the sentence “i get a discount there because i’m an illuminati” into the conversation

[yorgen-sh]

[winterweary]

This made me laugh out loud

[76ello]

Reblogging in honor of the first day of baseball season.

[ceruleanfuckup]

The pitcher that exploded the bird is a photographer now, this is his logo

[fangsiege]

psa

[fangsiege]

like being attracted to fat or finding a fat character appealing is fine + normal. you can just say that. a large part of my non-story and non-reference-sheet art is me presenting fatness as desireable and cute and fun and most importantly Normal. going "Ohhhhh they are so cutee i gotta squish and hug them ^_^" is weird and infantilizing and objectifying. do you talk like this about skinny characters too?

like its not cute + silly. you're pissing me off. that is a grown woman. shes not a dog* dont talk to her like one

*figuratively. i draw dog furries. i mean this in the way where you're talking about her like she's an animal to ogle at rather than a person with agency

[sandmandaddy69]

[sunshinemoonrx]

HUH?

Most cop thing I've ever read. what the fuck are you talking about. The posts you're looking for might be on this website but we won't show them to you???

[sunshinemoonrx]

I'm sure all my settings are set to "yes show me mature content no don't filter anything" what are you TALKING ABOUT

[sunshinemoonrx]

the posts are ON THE WEBSITE. I can't search dirty words?? am I five??? is this club penguin??? when I get you

[noticesghosts]

What the hell

[noticesghosts]

What is going on

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

just so you know, if you completely ignore the search feature on the website and just type "tumblr.com/search/term" into the address bar, it bypasses all of this. broken-ass website

[bigboysdrinkmilk]

Why is there a diarrhea parasite outbreak in America?

Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to disease prevention and control.

Why is measles back in America?

Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including RFK Jr, cut vaccine and measles prevention funding and programs.

Why is the New World Screwworm infecting cattle in Texas, when it had previously been eliminated from the area?

Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Elon Musk, cut USAID funding, which in part worked to monitor and prevent screwworm outbreaks.

Why was there a flu outbreak in our armed forces?

Because Donald Trump and his Republican allies, including Pete Hegseth, cut vaccination requirements for our armed forces, putting all of them at risk alongside our military readiness.

What contributed to the Covid outbreak?

Donald Trump and his Republican allies cut funding to a pandemic prevention program in his first term because Barack Obama had created it.

“America first” sends its regards. Trump voters, please learn your lesson. And if you don’t, it’ll be taught to you again with yet another diarrhea outbreak.

[bigboysdrinkmilk]

[can-i-make-image-descriptions]

[Image ID: Bullet point list reading:

A law called the "Food Traceability Rule," designed to make tracing contaminated food easier, was supposed to go into effect on January 20, 2026.

Taylor Foods started paying Sidley Austin to lobby on "regulation of food safety" in January of 2025.

On March 20, 2025, FDA announced they were pushing back the implementation of the "Food Traceability Rule" by 30 months.

On March 26, 2025, Taylor Fresh Foods Inc contributed $1,000,000 to MAGA Inc, a Trump-aligned super PAC. /End ID]

[goodieprocter]

I spent almost an entire work shift drawing this tooth-rotting fluff

featuring the Eridian Welcoming Committee courtesy of @justcakethanks

[justcakethanks]

Okay this is just on another level. I'm not crying IT'S JUST RAINING. ON MY FACE.

[avoid-avoidance]

I recently learned that "Make A Terrible Comic Day" is a thing from this post. What better way to celebrate than to follow the kind encouragement of @justcakethanks and make a spinoff #eridianwelcomingcommittee comic? justcakethanks's comics are certainly not terrible, but I make no promises about mine.

I am not any kind of visual artist, so each and every drawing in this comic was copy-pasted straight from justcakethanks's comics -- at most, modified a little, like substituting an ellipsis for the original question mark in Grace's reaction, and of course changing the card message.

Fun fact: I started out making this comic with absolutely no idea what would happen in it. I took a bunch of clipped screenshots from the original eridianwelcomingcommittee comics, saved them in a folder and labeled/numbered them, and generated random numbers to start picking which drawings to put in. The "plot", such as it is, bloomed from there.

[justcakethanks]

I'll have you all know that I could barely read this because I was already laughing so hard I was crying.

Masterfully done @avoid-avoidance I need to go lie down now.