Emotional Pizza

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HYPE

http://www.thefader.com/2016/02/26/white-pisces-unbelievable-selection-video

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EMOTIONAL PIZZA’S “BIG NIGHT OUT”

SEPTEMBER 2015 // allboatsgroup.com

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Excerpts from The 2015 Guide To Telling Me What To Do

Thank you for requesting this informational pamphlet about my new book, The 2015 Guide To Telling Me What To Do, the most comprehensive edition yet. Whether you know me from school, around the office, or my contributions to the canon of American Teen Dance Music, this 2015 edition will help you manipulate my emotions to your precise needs. 

Feel free to utilize this helpful aide during your next interaction with me!

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YES, I CAN TALK TO GHOSTS

The rumours, though sometimes wildly overstated, are true: I can communicate with ghosts. No, they don’t want to hurt you. They don’t want to contact you. They don’t really care what the living do at all. Mostly, they just want to see you naked. They will not shut up about it.

The above link will lead you to a piece written for the purpose of humor, though it also contains a spooky true tale!

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Sweetie makes a proposal, and everything will change for at least a short amount of time.

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Discipline is a difficult but important part of parenting.

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Franny is doing fine.

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Share your feelings with your loved ones.

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Gotta stay active!

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The Reviews are IN !

"It's difficult to believe but ultimately I do believe it!" A New Yorker magazine

"[U]nexpected[ly]...delight[ful]" The Crumpled Bostonian Quarterly

"Of all the many great and terrible experiences I've made in my long time on this Earth, from the terrible Civil War that tore our great nation asunder to the great time I nearly sat on Theodore Roosevelt's glasses on a train, this pizza slice, this is the memory I'll cherish most heartily." Diary of F. R. Jonah Plundce, 1915 (Knopf)

"Which way to the ENTRANCE?" The Whimple-Gazette

"Extraordinarily hungry!" The Laffing Beaver adult magazine

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Working on a new musical.

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Hear the titan of sexualanal revolution, Dr. Lainey Keller, speak about her new book! Only on THE CHATTERBOX 9000 AM.

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A true story.