for funsies

Todays yoga pose is the downward spiral

[throathole]

“If I had a dick I would stack donuts on it” well donut holes exist and you have a pussy so………?Get to filling

[birdsagainsthumanity]

gonna try this brb

[birdsagainsthumanity]

yeast infection

[throathole]

Sorry

[caramelizard-deactivated2025122]

tomorrow im really gonna give it my nothing

[marxism-transgenderism]

tomorrow im really gonna give it my nothing

[thetransitionfromjealoustoblow]

me talking to a film major

me: hey

them: *talks about pulp fiction or whatever*

me: i love high school musical 2

[thebootydiaries]

a bro: actually I'm a devil's advocate

satan: *appears from hell* you're not even a lawyer, chad

[fairycosmos]

honestly the concept of doppelgangers is scary but if i saw myself i probably wouldn’t be that terrified. like i know she can’t run for more than 3 minutes straight. i know she can’t do basic maths. she’s not going to do anything. she doesn’t even know what day it is

[retrogamingblog]

A veterinary hospital in Mexico used Pokemon Go’s snapshot feature to turn their office into a Pokemon Center

[shikuuz-deactivated20200407]

he angery

[anotherdragonsfan]

[lubricates]

Me: I’m a bad bitch! I don’t take shit from anyone! I’m not nice!

Also me: well I can’t just leave this cart in the middle of the parking lot. I have to take it to the cart return. I’m not an animal. Those employees work hard.

[swansongofuyulala]

A real bad bitch respects minimum wage workers

[cyanicas]

[baapi-makwa]

my friends cat loves attacking xmas trees but hates plastic bags

[quillusquillus]

the narrative tension in this picture is outrageous

[wildngoldx]

[jeannetterankin]

my prof, a fool: and in the 1995 bbc adaptation of pride and prejudice, you’ll see that darcy is often presented with water symbolism–the bath scene, emerging from the pond–and, given this, we can deduce that this means-

me, an intellectual: that bbc knew what they had with colin firth and did us all a solid

[trilliath]

you, a fool: lmao my prof is so dumb talking about symbolism the filmmakers probably didn’t even intend because they were actually just thirsting over colin firth like any reasonable person

your prof, an intellectual: o shit if I come up with a semi-plausible academic reason to talk about it I can spend an entire week of lectures with pictures of soaked colin firth on the screen and make my students write essays on a topic I can daydream my way through the grading of.

[gertiecraign]

Genius.

[untitled1559]

as someone who adores literature, my ongoing dilemma is choosing between reading or writing

[nobodywritesstuff-deactivated20]

[untitled1559]

how dare you attack me like this

[lovelybed]

*uses my thumbs to lift my bra straps like an old timey political man would with his suspenders* im the mayor of titty city, bitch

[debravata]

Gillette: Men can be better.

Men:

[batcii-archive-deactivated20210]

how did jk manage to write ootp and not come to the conclusion that the only career w any true meaning for harry james potter was as a goddamn professor at hogwarts like how do u write the da scenes and say “nah he’d want to be a wizard cop”

[hugisak]

#just let him dress in warm sweaters and have tea with neville in the staff room and help first years #harry james potter as hogwarts longest serving defense against the dark arts teacher fucking fight me (@batcii)

[tattooedsiren]

#but it would be so perfect??? #bc it would help normalize his life so much #like there would just be this generation of kids who are like #‘ugh who cares that he killed the dark lord he gAVE US HOMEWORK OVER BREAK’ #like the beginning of every year there would be the new first years who would freak out a little #but then it would calm down #and most of the students would literally forget #until like clockwork the fifth years would have their history of magic class on the second war #and they’d all show up to DADA looking a little awestruck and everyone would be extra quiet #and harry would give this kind of annoyed sigh—except it’s fake bc he TOTALLY knew this was coming #bc binns is a bro and he totally gives him a heads up every year #and harry wouldn’t have any lesson plans for the day and instead he would just sit at the front of the room and answer everyone’s questions #but otherwise everyone would just be like ‘professor potter!! i can’t get my patronus to work! help me!’ #and like they’d go home at the end of the year or for break and their parents—who ARE still starstruck by harry james potter #would pester their kids with questions#and the kids would just be like ‘merlin i don’t know?? potter’s such a huge dork you should hear him talk about proper wand movements’ #but they would all love him #and he would feel safe and normal and utterly accepted #AND I NEED THIS IN MY LIFE (via @cinematicnomad)

[saywhatjessie]

Not to mention it would be an ultimate Fuck You to Voldemort, who put a curse on the teaching position in the first place.

Like, Jo, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but COME ON

[timemachineyeah]

I already queued this but also, you do this, but still have Ginny become a famous Quidditch player. Imagine the first time Harry gets called “Ginny’s husband” before “the boy who lived” or “the chosen one.” Imagine how fucking pleased he’d be.

Imagine the first time a student comes up to him looking starry-eyed and Harry’s thinking “Oh no” because he doesn’t want to talk about Voldemort or the war but instead this little eleven year old is like “ARE YOU REALLY MARRIED TO WEASLEY FROM THE HOLLYHEAD HARPIES???!?? WHAT’S SHE LIKE?” and he’s like “oh thank god” because he could talk about Ginny all day. 

[optimysticals]

Yes. Good.

[egberts]

kadabra following you is literally terrifying

[anachronic-cobra]

[remanedur]

[n-ktnk]