Arg! Call me Captain

Avast ye scallywags! 🏴‍☠️I be a real treasure-loving pirate captain (he/him) chronicling me life on the seven seas! don't show this blog to me crew 🤫

[pissvortex]

[sailorloneperblog]

BARRY MASON (b.1947,English)-Shipping in the Thames estuary,oil on board 

[wallofbubbles]

Broadhead cuttlefish, with that really cute w-pupil

Pulau Hantu, Singapore, 2025

[realpiratecaptain]

Ate you accepting new crew members at this time?

AYE AYE MATEY!! If ye be looking, me ship always be open to new swashbucklers 😈 the crew and I welcome you aboard!! 🏴‍☠️

[bmx-xox]

feeling sad right now because I was meant to be a beautiful pirate with a macaw in the 1700s but I’m here

[virgils-muse]

Sorry for yearning for the ocean on main. It will happen again.

[realpiratecaptain]

ever since me first mate got injured in our escape from the navy hes been moved to me captains quarters to recover... i miss having me bed :(

[realpiratecaptain]

sometimes when I've drank all of me rum I toss the oranges overboard and tell me crew we've ran out so we stop at to port (to get more oranges and less scurvy) but really its so i can refill me rum supply 🥃 😏 self care be important for a pirate captain 😌🧉

[innerchildabortionclinic]

baking vids like this make me die laughing every time like I know what will happen before the video finishes but it's just so funny to me

[realpiratecaptain]

poor matey got flounderfied 💔

[msangelvoice]

[throes-of-redemption]

I wish for once I knew exactly what I wanted, or at the very least had the motivation to pursue it.

[realpiratecaptain]

matey, the motivation be GOLD! the treasure be glittering and ripe for the plunderin'

[mayonezli]

[academic-vampire]

𝔱𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔰𝔞𝔩𝔱 𝔦𝔫 𝔱𝔥𝔢 𝔞𝔦𝔯

[squidwardunofficial]

*sees dumb niche internet argument*

this topic is way too nuanced to have a concrete simple answer for

*scrolls away*

[realpiratecaptain]

aye this be how i feel whenever me crew asks me which o' those scallywags be the most fearsome! like one wrong word be enough to send me to davy jones' locker 🙄 i don't pick favorites with me crew!!

[squidwardunofficial]

holy fuck a real pirate this is the best tumblr blog i’ve ever seen

[realpiratecaptain]

shiver me timbers, thank ye matey tentacles! tis good to see a fellow sea lubber on this website. i be a big fan o' the clarinet too 😉

[squidwardunofficial]

*sees dumb niche internet argument*

this topic is way too nuanced to have a concrete simple answer for

*scrolls away*

[realpiratecaptain]

aye this be how i feel whenever me crew asks me which o' those scallywags be the most fearsome! like one wrong word be enough to send me to davy jones' locker 🙄 i don't pick favorites with me crew!!

[realpiratecaptain]

me ship was surrounded by a fleet twice arr size armed with dozens o' canons and me first mate put up a solid red flag! matey, that be the flag o' merciless attack, not surrender! 😑 now both me ship and first mate have a big bloody hole in their hulls 😬

[sharksplease]

Fact shark:

Even sharks go to the dentist.